Death's Heroes
by Classic Mecraphone
Summary: Contrary to what most believe, Zelretch DOES actually try to help out the world. Most of the time. But he can only be in so many places at once and there's no shortage of unpleasant things out there that can hop between worlds as easily as he can. Thus, he turns to his cosmic janitor friend Horatius and his Heroic Spirits to lend a helping hand. Until a joke goes awry, that is...
1. Three Becomes Four

Chapter 1: Three Becomes Four

 _Death._

 _Or, in the Sanskrit language that the natives of India employed almost 4000 years ago,_ இறப்பு _._

 _Irappu._

 _While there are many a way that the word 'Death' can be interpreted, from the idea, the concept, all the way to sentient manifestations such as the Reaper itself, Irappu had no such additional meaning._

 _It was simply the act of destruction...destruction that, without fail, lead to death._

 _Irappu would often appear as a mighty storm, winds of immeasurable speed and deafening strikes of thunder and lightning causing indiscriminate destruction in it's wake. Occasionally Irappu would manifest as a ground-quake, swallowing villages whole and shaking the very Earth itself. Other times as erupting mountains of fiery rock and fire, of towering waves washing away everything without a trace. And, perhaps most rare of all, as beams of light that descended from the Heavens themselves, striking the surface with unmatched fury._

 _Modern Magus would likely describe Irappu as a sort of Transcendent Spirit of Gaia, a collection of tropisms and behaviors created by the planet's will that, when destruction needed to be had, Irappu would appear and unleash all of it's primal might upon whatever blight Gaia had recognized._

 _And, like many things once created and guided by Gaia, Irappu began to wane and disappear along with the ending of the Age of the Gods, it's appearances and powers no longer as devastating as they once were, being replaced by it's far more mundane cousins, 'Natural Disasters'._

 _This would have most certainly been the end of Irappu itself, slowly wasting away to nothing at all without the slightest inkling or care of it's fate, were it not for one Roman Gladiator by the name of Horatius._

 _It was unknown whether Horatius was a captured warrior from one of Rome's many campaigns, a slave sent to the Colosseum to fight and most likely die for other's entertainment...or a criminal that had been given the punishment of becoming a Gladiator._

 _Most would agree that it was irrelevant what Horatius_ had _been, compared to what he would_ become.

 _Over the years and through a combination of charisma, skill and luck Horatius became one of the few Gladiators to win his freedom._

 _Granted his wooden blade, Horatius now found himself in a slightly unexpected position. During his tenure as a combatant of the crowds, he had slowly come to a realization about himself. An epiphany, for lack of a better term._

 _Horatius was a free spirit, one who wanted to travel throughout the massive empire of Rome, who wanted to travel even beyond that through the lands of the barbarians and yet even further. Being a slave, confined to wherever the whim of his masters took him, was nothing but soul-rending_ torture _._

 _It did provide a rather wonderful catalyst for him to emerge victorious from his matches, granted._

 _So, at the age of 24, Horatius began his lifelong journey throughout the world._

 _From Sicillia to_ _Corsica et Sardinia, all the way to Macedonia and back again._

 _And while he saw many things, wondrous sights and mind-boggling feats of architecture...he slowly fell into a melancholy, a sort of fatalism._

 _There was no way, in his all too short and fleeting Human life, that he would be able to see everything the world had to offer. Perhaps not even all of what_ just _Rome had to offer!_

 _Desperate to find a way to prolong his life, Horatius turned to a discipline he learned of through a chance encounter during one of his many treks towards the Diocese of Thrace, one of the caravan guards being_ _a Magus. Secretive and wary even thousands of years ago the Magus, who went by the name of Justus, was something of an oddity, one who used magecraft as a means rather than an end and saw no problem with explaining odd bits of the practice with others._

 _Justus' curiosity only grew as, over weeks of conversation, he realized Horatius had discovered his Origin as well as having Magic Circuits of his own. While Justus' knowledge of the subject was limited, he knew the consequences of a person recognizing the existence of their origin and held some sympathy for Horatius' plight._

 _The plight of a man doomed to forever be a 'Wanderer', his Origin._

 _Pointing the former Gladiator in the direction of an institute where Magecraft was practiced that wouldn't merely kill him on sight, Horatius profusely thanked the Magus and they parted ways on good terms._

 _Thus began decades of searching and research._

 _No stone was left unturned and no theory left unread, any and all form of Magecraft or it's offshoots was considered and thus discarded as a viable option._

 _Early in his research Horatius had discovered the existence of Vampires, or more specifically, Dead Apostles. While turning himself into such a being would certainly solve the issue of longevity, there were other factors to consider. What little he could glean from texts and eye-witness reports suggested that Apostles played an intricate game of influence with each other, not to mention there was the issue of sunlight and large bodies of water hindering his movements, never mind the requirement of ingesting blood on a continuous basis._

 _Becoming a Dead Apostle was a last resort, there being far too many conditions attached when all Horatius wished was for the lifespan required to see the world._

 _As the years went by and he reached his 60_ _th_ _year, Horatius began to resign himself to the fact that he would most likely need to begin the ritual necessary to become an Apostle._

 _And then, by a stroke of luck, he purchased a tome from a desperate Magus that explained the concept of Transcendent Beings, as well as a list of what ones had been confirmed to 'exist'._

 _At last, a method to preserve his life had been discovered, one that carried risk, admittedly...but had none of the guaranteed ones that came with becoming an Apostle._

 _Because, according to all observed records,_ _one_ _Transcendent_ _Spirit_ _had no soul._

 _Irappu._

 _While Horatius had considered the idea of having his soul reincarnate into a descendant of his, he only discovered of such methods late into his life and, unfortunately, he was only of mediocre power as a Magus._

 _But to transfer his soul into a being that had none, that was more a force than it was a living being?_

 _It just might be possible._

 _Completing his preparations, Horatius began to wait at the River Tiber, confident that his opportunity would arrive._

 _And arrive it did._

 _A sudden flood began and with the people of the Seven Hills running for higher ground, Horatius made his move._

 _While he may have been unable to directly transfer his soul, Horatius had found an interesting work around._

 _All souls return to the Root upon death, this was an unbreakable rule that he had no hope of circumventing bar becoming a Heroic Spirit or some other exception...an unlikely prospect. But altering his soul so that it would seek out an empty body before returning to the primordial state of being?_

 _That was doable._

 _With a single thrust of his sword Horatius collapsed into the street, his blood painting the slowly dampening ground beneath him and his body began to expire._

 _All that remained to be seen was if his soul was able to take hold of Irappu's power...and if the flooding of the river was indeed caused by said Spirit._

 _And it worked._

 _Somehow, against all odds and 'conventional' wisdom, it worked._

 _A Human's soul had merged with that of an extension of Gaia's will, the two combining into a being that was not entirely Human but had the soul of one, not entirely a Spirit but having the power of one._

 _Upon awakening an indeterminate time later, Horatius/Irappu quickly learned the extent of their symbiotic state of being._

 _Horatius had reverted to an ageless body, it's appearance that of when he first won his freedom from the Gladiatorial pits several decades earlier._

 _Perhaps most interestingly, while possessing only 1_ _0_ _Magic Circuits of fairly mediocre quality, Horatius now found that through his connection to Gaia from Irappu, he could channel a functionally infinite amount of Mana gathered from the very world itself. High-level Magecraft would be beyond his grasp, a consequence of his_ _limited Magic Circuits, but in theory he could now cast an infinite amount of more 'mundane' Thaumaturgy._

 _Not that any of this concerned Horatius. The access to a functionally infinite amount of power was a far,_ far _distant second to his newfound longevity and he wasted no time in departing for new horizons. While Irappu may not have strictly been conscious during it's time of existence, it still recorded and experienced events that were now given meaning through the eyes of Horatius._

 _And what a bevy of experiences they were! Mountains that seemed to reach forever into the sky, oceans that seemingly stretched to the end of the world, deserts and jungles that expanded farther than the naked eye could see...even if the many places Irappu had been no longer held civilization, Horatius still wanted to visit them all._

 _And, for a not insignificant amount of time, that is what he did._

 _It wasn't until the mid 1400's that a change occurred._

 _Over the years Horatius had slowly become aware of a sobering yet unavoidable fact._

 _He was_ lonely _, a loneliness that originated from Irappu, of all beings._

 _Prior to it's merging with Horatius such things had never bothered the Transcendent Spirit, but now that it had an understanding of emotions it began to realize just how alone it truly was. Many spirits, Phantasmal Beasts and the other myriad creatures spawned from Gaia had be_ _e_ _n gifted a form of sentience, along with companionship._

 _It had been granted no such comfort._

 _The matter was finally brought to head when Rome collapsed, brought down by both external forces and internal ones._

 _It may have been the Empire that enslaved him, the Empire that restricted his freedom for so many years...but it had been home nonetheless. A home that had lasted for so_ many _centuries despite constant adversity that it had seemed it would last forever, a universal constant for the ever wandering Horatius._

 _Seeing it collapse brought no small amount of melancholic homesickness, a feeling only exacerbated by Irappu's isolation throughout the millennia. Horatius could no more ignore his own solitude than Irappu could ignore his Origin's call._

 _For the next few centuries they tried many times to form some sort of lasting relationship amidst their travels, seeking an anchor that they could always return to, no matter how far or how long they were absent._

 _While they encountered many interesting and friendly Humans, their limited lifespans prevented the sort of long-lasting bond that Horatius and Irappu sought after. And even among those few Humans that_ did _catch their attention, a scant handful were in a position to both appreciate and understand the call of their Origin, the ever present need to explore and travel._

 _They were met with even less success when courting beings outside of Humanity._

 _Dead Apostle's only saw a form of achieved immortality_ _that was superior to their own, or a being that they could exploit to further their own stature among their peers._

 _Confrontations between them and Horatius almost always ended with violence._

 _Growing tired of searching the planet for worthwhile companionship Horatius used the connection between himself and Irappu to travel to the Reverse Side of the World, hoping against hope that the varied beings that thrived there would be able to relate to him in some fashion._

 _He was sorely disappointed._

 _The denizens of that world only saw a Human, the very creature that had forced their exodus in the first place and either pretended he merely did not exist or actively tried to attack him._

 _For the first time in almost a thousand years, Horatius began to wonder if his immortal life was beginning to look more like a curse than it was a blessing, contemplating the very real possibility that all of his life's ambitions had merely lead him to a state of wishing he had never achieved them in the first place._

 _Then, he met a Vampire._

 _Not just any Vampire, but one who interested in Horatius_ _both_ _as a person and prank victim rather than as a means to an end, or a threat to be snuffed out._

 _Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg._

 _One of the twenty-seven Dead Apostle Ancestors, a true user of the Second Magic...and, most importantly to Horatius, had a friendly disposition._

 _One chance meeting at a cafe over coffee turned into pen pals, pen pals turned into active traveling buddies, traveling buddies turned into an unconventional-but real-friendship._

 _After almost thirty years_ _of an_ _unusual_ _bromance_ _(as Zelretch later liked to call it)_ _, Horatius eventually explained to Zelretch the circumstances surrounding his powers as well as his search for companionship._

 _The Apostle_ _immediately took the opportunity to christen him as a_ World Spirit(TM), _an acknowledgment of him both being Human and a Spirit of Gaia in one body._

 _Additionally, the Wizard Marshall proposed a solution to Horatius' desire for ever-present companionship._

 _Having been one of the founding members of the Holy Grail War, he was fairly knowledgable on the process of how to summon a Heroic Spirit and the necessary requirements to do so. Given Horatius' access to essentially unlimited Mana and a direct line to Alaya through Gaia, the most pressing concern of how to sustain and manifest a Heroic Spirit's presence became a moot issue, the only real difficulty being presented in making sure the Spirit could be suitably informed of modern era nomenclature and societal norms._

 _Horatius was immediately intrigued at the idea of a companion_ _that was simultaneously extremely powerful and capable of longevity just as_ _impressive_ _as his._

 _After agreeing to the proposition with startling quickness Zelretch requested a favor of Horatius, one he figured the World Spirit(_ _T_ _M)_ _would be_ _interested in._

 _In a rare display of responsibility the Vampire informed Horatius that ever since he had mastered the Second Magic, he had been constantly safeguarding their world against trans-dimensional threats. As it turns out, the Kaleidoscope isn't the only way to bridge the gap between realities and not all of the beings that do so merely perform the feat out of curiosity._

 _Since Horatius enjoys travel so much he would be the perfect candidate to investigate these realms that could potentially harm theirs and root out whether there's a threat or not._

 _Again, in startling swiftness, Horatius agreed._

 _Travel to mysterious and exotic worlds in order to help his first true friend? A friend who would, in return, provide him with a very real possibility of companions that would never abandon him?_

 _It was the deal of a_ lifetime _._

 _A few years passed, the duo working almost non-stop to complete their project_ _and in no time at all the preparations were complete._

 _The Spirit wouldn't receive their knowledge from the Grail, rather they would be directly tied to Horatius' memories, the combination of his long life of travels and Irappu's own extensive experience providing a more than solid foundation. At Horatius' request, there were no Command Seals, classes or any other form of limiter attached to the summoned Spirit._

 _For all intents and purposes, they would be their_ original _selves, with all the power and personality quirks that came with it._

 _Forgoing the use of a catalyst,_ _instead desiring a_ _n ally_ _that would complement him perfectly, Horatius sent out a plea to the Throne of Heroes and, in a burst of released power, summoned his first_ _companion_ _._

 _And, as it would turn out, fate had a strange sense of humor._

 _The hero of old that was brought forth from the Throne was a young woman with tanned skin, hair the color of mountain snow and eldritch lines adorning her body._

 _Attila the Hun, at one time Rome's most ferocious foe, now serving one who had lived through that era and probably one of the few surviving beings that could personally recount details of her campaign. More than that, she was a remnant of a power that had once ravaged the Earth, the power that Horatius was intrinsically tied to._

 _Which made it only all the more ironic that these two, who would at one time have been foes of one sort or another, so perfectly complemented each other._

 _Both seeking a goal unrelated to the bloodshed that had defined their mortal lives, a goal of personal, emotional catharsis. Both created by a higher power to fulfill a purpose, but now free from said beings shackles._

 _Both, at their core, adept at causing pure destruction, even if that was no longer their hearts desire._

 _Thus,_ _in the year 1910_ _Horatius' second lifelong companion, Altera,_ _joined him_ _._

 _For decades afterwards the two aided Zelretch in his ever present vigil against trans-dimensional threats, experiencing sights and wonders-with the occasional horror thrown in for good measure-they had scarcely even imagined possible._

 _It was a dream that Horatius had never thought he would achieve_ _during the past few centuries of his wandering._

 _Eventually, during the year_ _1946, Horatius and Altera stumbled upon what was more commonly known as the Land of Shadows, a world separated and ordinarily inaccessible to all. There, they met the Warrior Queen known as_ _Scáthach,_ _the guardian and champion of the dead, doomed to remain in that barren land until the end of time itself._

 _Both parties desiring conversation,_ _Scáthach_ _having felt the weariness of isolation for a long,_ long _time_ _while_ _Horatius and Altera, as always,_ _were_ _open to the idea of a good exchange of stories._

 _This dialogue carried on for a time longer than either side could remember, culminating in Horatius offering_ _Scáthach_ _a deal. In exchange for_ _returning as his_ _friend_ _and ally, he would free her from her internment as the gatekeeper of the Shadow Lands._

 _Agreeing with a speed that rivaled that of Horatius himself, the former Gladiator then began to carry out his side of the bargain. Turning into Irappu itself, yet guided by a sentient and fully aware mind, the storm tore away at the Land of Shadow until the realm ceased to exist, the assault every bit conceptual as it was physical._

 _Perishing amidst the_ _assault_ _with a smile on her lips,_ _Scáthach_ _ascended to the Throne of Heroes...but not before giving_ _the duo a catalyst that would summon her without fail, a necklace comprised of primal runes she had personally made_ _and never shared with a single soul_ _._

 _Thus, in the year 1946, Horatius' third lifelong companion,_ _Scáthach,_ _was summoned._

 _For 62 years following that series of events the trio travelled as they pleased, aiding the Kaleidoscope when needed and generally enjoying a life that none of them had ever imagined they would be gifted._

 _The start of their newest journey, while of vastly more apocalyptic proportions than the usual fare they dealt with, was much like any other they embarked on._

 _Namely because, like all events of apocalyptic nature, it started out with Zelretch thinking to himself, 'Hey, you know what would be funny'?_

* * *

Zelretch

Whipping cream? Check.

Feather? Check.

Sneaking shoes? Double check.

I feel two sets of eyes immediately lock onto me...but they don't make a move, pretty much giving me permission to go ahead with this 'welcome home' prank of mine.

I _ever_ so carefully creep over to the peacefully resting form of Horatius, lightly treading on what little floor space isn't covered in unaccountable amounts of crap.

Seriously, for a guy that spends so little time at 'home' he sure goes out of his way to decorate it with memorabilia up the wazoo. Ancient clay pottery that goes all the way back to 4000 BC from early Iranian cultures, woven tapestries found in the Tarim Basin, a Megazord action figure no doubt bought from some local Toy Store…

Hey, no one ever said all the shit gathered was of equal value.

Getting back to the more important task at hand I finally make my way to my buddies side, his face half covered by blankets and gleefully squirt some whipping cream into my hand.

Magecraft is a wonderful thing, able to create a silent dispersal mechanism so the loud hissing sound doesn't wake the victims of my little escapades.

Carefully depositing the lump of cream into one of Horatius' outstretched hands I gently apply the end of the feather onto his nose-

 _SMACK!_

-And burst out into insane laughter upon seeing my oldest friend now blearily waking up only to find himself looking like he got attacked by a can of shaving cream.

"...Really Kischur? Of all the myriad ways of making people miserable that are available to you, you went with the whip cream and feather trick?"

"Hey there's nothing wrong with a classic, now is there? And I could have just gone with the bowl of warm water technique..."

The visible portion of his face twitches and I hear a grumble of, "Well when you put it like _that_..."

He heaves a gigantic sigh before throwing aside the sheets and stumbling off to the bathroom, prompting an unrepentant grin on my part.

Turning my attention to where the invisible sets of eyes are 'watching' me and I cheerfully grin and ask, "So how'd your last little field trip go?"

With a brief twisting of space and a haze of colors two figures appear before my eyes.

Scáthach sits on the edge of a raised table that looks like it was hand-carved several centuries ago, legs lightly kicking back and forth as her voice, a combination of regal, cheerful and musical tones explains, "Oh, it was nothing too exciting, hardly even worth recounting. In all honesty the only highlight was seeing Horatius display an unusual amount of terror at the foe before us, a sight most unexpected...yet welcome nonetheless."

"Scáthach, that's not a very nice thing of you to say about Master..."

Primly perched on one of the few available chairs scattered throughout the room masquerading as an antique exhibit, Altera's words, a gentle yet husky tenor, _sound_ admonishing...but the tiny smile she wears tells a different story.

It took a goodly number of decades hanging around Horatius, Scáthach and myself but she'd finally learned how to relax a little bit, occasionally even poking fun at people.

Which had warmed this old fart's heart. Seriously, what's the point in being alive if you're not gonna enjoy the stupid thing?

"After all, everyone has _some_ fears. Even if they are as something as embarrassing as being afraid of a few harmless bugs."

Scáthach smirks in reply to the other woman's words and she sagely replies, "Ah, my apologies Altera, you are absolutely correct. Spiders _are_ a very frightening creature..."

"I can _hear_ you two!"

I snicker at my dimension-hopping partner in crime before curiously asking, "Seriously though, what did you run into out there? The threat level was only that of green..."

"What we ran into, Kischur, was some madman's interpretation of what a tarantula would look like if it's parents were a lobster and praying mantis that were into hatefucking."

Scáthach rolls her eyes before dryly adding, "And despite their size they were barely more of a threat than a single _bear_ would be. Yet apparently you were so alarmed by their existence that you felt it necessary to call upon Irappu's powers and more or less destroy what amounted to a _continent_ of the creatures..."

The sound of running water shuts off and Horatius morbidly replies, "I have a _thing_ with arachnids, Scáthach. I don't like them. One time in the Gladitorial pits with only a family of tarantulas to keep us company was one time too many. And you saw those portals, they were undoubtably about to launch an invasion. I saved the entire world from an arachnophobics worst nightmare."

The Warrior Queen just makes a small 'hmm' noise as Horatius steps out of the washroom, face freshly cleared of the whip cream smears.

Of average height at around 1.75 meters, tanned skin with black hair that curls at the end and falls down to his neck, a musculature that's meant more for use than it is for show, all topped off by striking dark eyes-a consequence of his merging with Irappu-and Horatius doesn't seem all that dissimilar to the idea of the 'handsome Gladiator' many romance novelists would attempt to portray.

Lucky Bastard, think of all the stuff I could get away with if I wasn't old as shit!

...Oh well, no sense in complaining about it now.

"Well, since you three are all back now, how does grabbing lunch sound? We can catch up over a meal and talk business there."

Predictably, Altera and Scáthach immediately perk up at the idea of food while Horatius merely gives me a questioning look.

"Business?"

I just offer an evil grin in response.

Oh he is just going to _love_ this…

"Sure, why not? Although I don't know if my two 'Heroes' deserve such a meal, allowing an assault on my person while I was enjoying such a well deserved rest..."

Altera gives an almost imperceptible pout before muttering, "I thought it would be funny..." while Scáthach offers a disapproving frown.

"You should not blame _us_ , Horatius. What sorry excuse of a warrior would let such a simple prank go through without contention?"

The ex-Gladiator just looks incredulous.

"Are you kidding me? This guy pulled a fast one on _Barthomeloi_ once, if he doesn't want to be caught, he's not gonna get caught."

I bask in both the well deserved praise and the memory of _that_ little caper.

Sneaking into the Queen of the Clocktowers bedchambers and slipping a copy of _Twilight_ under her arms as she slept, taking several pictures and then distributing them as an early Christmas present to the denizens of the institute had been well worth the following year spent avoiding the woman's wrath.

 _Well_ worth it.

* * *

Horatius

"So, partner, you ready to go on yet another wild adventure?"

I ignore Kischur's friendly banter for the moment in favor of amusedly glancing around the cafeteria of the Clocktower, a massive room that's as opulent as it is functional. Nearly two dozen long-tables take up the majority of the floor space while a smattering of more 'refined' dining setups are reserved for the more affluent or wealthy members of the Magi.

And none of the currently seated 200 Magus in training are closer than two tables distance from us.

In between Kischur's well earned reputation as something of a prankster and ruiner of peace and quiet, as well as my obvious friendship with him and ability to sustain two _extremely_ powerful Heroic Spirits unassisted...we probably make for an intimidating duo of freaks.

And there's the fact that on occasion, when the conversation has run dry, Kischur and I will make snide comments about the eating habits of those around us, just to see if anyone has the guts to fire back.

No luck so far.

"While I'll be the first to admit that my Origin can be pretty damn insistent about things, there's nothing wrong with taking a few days to relax. Honestly, it was only like eight hours ago that I was busy exterminating a race of invading demon-spiders. What's the big hurry?"

Losing some of his ever-present joviality, Kischur pulls out a small crystal orb...that is entirely pitch black in coloration.

"...Well shit."

"Yup. There's a real ball of bad news potentially headed our way."

I give an annoyed glance at the object held in his hand, the seemingly smooth surface actually comprised of an uncountable number of flat planes, giving the _illusion_ of smoothness.

 _The Jeweled Eye_. Able to remotely view and examine who knows how many parallel words, the _Eye_ acts as a sort of early warning system of worlds that are attempting to break into ours. Using a rainbow colored threat level, with violet being the lowest and red being the highest, it can give us an idea of what sort of trouble we're dealing with. We typically ignore anything lower than a green threshold, figuring that the world's more mundane security measures (read: Enforcers) can pick up the slack on those issues.

...Oh, I'm sorry, did I say red was the highest threat level?

I meant to say that _black_ is the highest.

After all, black is the presence of every color.

"You'll forgive me for not being all that rather enthused, Kischur. The only other time we've followed up on a black lead we ended up on a blown to Hell and back world, _something_ I'm pretty sure was _Azathoth_ looking down on it from the general direction of freaking _Polaris_."

Scáthach sagely nods from where she's sitting in front of three empty bowels of soup, a varied collection of Beef Barley, Oxtail and Mulligatawny.

"And here I had thought the Land of Shadows could be rather... _dismal_. That unfortunate plane of existence brought new meaning to the words, 'Land of the Dead '."

Altera just wordlessly gives a nod of agreement, returning to her plates of Garlic Bread, Ravioli, Chicken Pot Pie, Asian Salad and what looks like half a birthday cake.

...What is it with the petite female Heroic Spirits of this reality and eating at least twice their body weight at mealtime? That one student of Kischur's that has Arturia as her familiar has the same insatiable appetite…

"Well, it's not like we can just ignore it. While we were more than a little late to prevent the last black warning from going tits up, the next might be one we can nip at the bud. And besides! The universe you go to might be completely inhospitable and you'll have to head straight back anyways, black warning or not. Heck, two weeks ago I hopped through a portal only to suck in a lungful of some super-virus that had me crapping blood for three days straight, time reversing body or not!"

I sigh and look down at my tomato bisque soup, reflecting that I don't have quite as much of an appetite after the Vampire's little editorial.

Reflexively pushing it in Altera's direction, the tanned woman happily accepting the unexpected gift, I give Kischur a resigned look and ask, "So when are we going to be leaving then?"

"Soon as I get a portal all set up. And before you go I have a present I think you'll-hold that thought-HEY, RRRIIIINNNN!"

Who I'm assuming is 'RRRIIIINNNN' stumbles and almost drops her tray of food, face looking more than a little mortified as the Vampire's shout echoes throughout the room and hundreds of pairs of eyes all lock on her.

"Congratulations Kischur, I think you just gave her the emotional equivalent of a heart attack. Wait a moment, isn't that your Tohsaka disciple? The one who was part of the last Holy Grail War four years ago?"

"Bah, she's made of pretty tough stuff, she'll get over it. And yeah, she was. Hey, Rin! Over here!"

Looking like she'd prefer to be _anywhere_ else, the dark haired young woman slowly marches towards us with all the enthusiasm of a gallows victim, Magi everywhere gazing and whispering about her with equal parts glee and awe.

Classroom politics at their finest.

It's the two figures traveling with her that draw my attention though.

There's the slim figure of Britain's most famous King, who'd I actually had the privilege of seeing once in the flesh during my travels centuries ago, laden down with her own mountain of trays and bowels.

Then there's the Magus Killer's heir, one Shirou Emiya. Tanned from his many travels to the cauldron of religious and economic conflict that is the current day Middle East, with the slightest traces of prematurely whited hair adorning his skull.

The young man had initially caught my interest along with his girlfriend after I'd heard from Kischur about the Holy Grail War and it's subsequent dismantlement, as well as their part to play in said process.

Imagine my surprise when I had found out that the fledgling Magus not only was capable of manifesting a Reality Marble, but was also very much aware of his Origin.

While I would hesitate to call our relationship one of 'being friends', seeing as how we've only spoken perhaps a grand total of five times, there's a certain level of instinctual understanding that comes from having knowledge of one's Origin, of having an understanding of what a person _is_.

"Good to see you again, Emiya. Just got back from the Middle East?"

He tries to hide his instinctive wince...but the kid has all the deceptive talents of a guilty puppy.

And that's not counting both Arturia and Tohsaka's annoyed-but-also-concerned glances in his direction.

Looks like they don't approve of his moonlighting as a Hero of Justice.

"Err...hello there, Horatius-San. And to you three as well, Altera-San, Scáthach-San and Kaleidoscope-San."

"Oh for the love of-Kid! You're banging my favorite disciple, that makes us practically family! You can just call me Uncle Zel!"

I'm not sure what's brighter, Emiya's hair or Tohsaka's face as they both make strangled noises of surprise and almost drop their food onto the floor.

Although, the way Arturia's cheeks also slightly redden as she quickly glances between the two of them makes me wonder if there's not more going on between all _three_ of them.

Goodness, what sort of sordid affair am I bearing witness to?

Thumbs up, Emiya.

"Well met, King of Knights. It's unfortunate, but apparently we won't have time to conclude our spar from our previous meeting. Duty calls Horatius yet again, it seems..."

The blonde Knight recovers from her earlier embarrassment due to Kischur's comment and comraderly smiles at Scáthach, happily replying, "It is good to see you as well, Guardian. While unfortunate, I will look forward to our future meetings regardless. But you are leaving so soon?"

She hikes a thumb back at both me and the old Vampire, a mannerism she seems to enjoy using after seeing me employ it a few times and dryly explains, "Those two are up to their typical plots and adventures, as usual..."

The King of Knights gives me a searching gaze and I merely shrug innocently, Altera coming to the rescue with, "Arturia, have you tried the food called Ravioli before?"

"I cannot say that I have...but I made special note to acquire them along with several other dishes. Are they truly so delectable?"

With a starry expression in her eyes the 'Whip of God' says, " _Delicious_."

...Perhaps I should have seen this coming, but the three of them were rather quick to bond.

Aside from the obvious connection of being Heroic Spirits and finding themselves in a time far removed from their own, they each have a shared interest.

For Altera and Arturia it's, perhaps unsurprisingly, their shared love of food. Comparing notes on what herbs and methods were used during their eras, as well as hunting tactics they would employ, has thus far carried them into a steady friendship.

Scáthach and the King of Knights both trained warriors of renown during their lives and the shared love of all things related to martial prowess is no small connection. And even if Arturia no longer has access to the raw strength and speed she had when a full-fledged Servant, there's certainly nothing wrong with her technique, a trait that the Warrior Queen of Ulster has shown great appreciation for in some perfectly friendly practice bouts that left both of them bruised and even bleeding slightly.

...It's no less destructive than my own friendship with Kischur, so I'm in no position to judge.

Speaking of said destructive camaraderie…

"Hey, Horatius, gotta borrow you for a second, we got interrupted."

"You mean you interrupted yourself?"

"Shut up and get over here."

I smirk and scoot over a few tables alongside the Wizard Marshal, leaving Tohsaka and her two companions to chat it up with Altera and Scáthach.

I don't miss the two questioning glances they send my way though, wordlessly asking if they should also sit in on my conversation with Kischur.

I idly gesture with my hand for them to do as they were. It seems we're only going to be here for a little while, I certainly don't begrudge them the opportunity to socialize for a time. Besides, we're only sitting a few meters away, they can probably hear us no problem regardless.

"So what's the big secret you apparently wanted to conceal through the ultra-secure method of sitting a few extra seats away?"

"Sheesh, you have no appreciation for theatrics, do you? If I wanted to make sure no one could hear us I would have thrown up a Bounded Field or something. This is just to make it look like we're discussing something super-duper secret and important. That way all the Enforcers and Nobles watching us will start collectively shitting themselves at the mere thought of whatever horrendous plot we're concocting!"

I try not to let my head drop to the table below.

"Has anyone ever told you you can be petty to the extreme?"

"Hey, they should have known better than to try and slap some Sealing Designations on us."

...I'll give him that.

About two years back, after Kischur had 'accidentally' left a portal open and several hundred guinea pigs that pooped solid gemstones poured in through the gap (I decided not to ask the obvious question of whether he'd been the one to create the things) and caused a massive rush of Magi and Enforces trying to capture (read: adopt) the little critters, Barthomeloi had tried to hit us with an SD on the grounds of us deliberately trying to ferment rebellion among the Clock Tower.

…

In retrospect, I'm not entirely certain why _I'd_ been hit with one alongside the old Vampire, considering I had nothing to do with anything.

Probably just because it's pretty well known that he and I are on good terms.

Either way neither side had been willing to back down, threats had been made (Barthomeloi offering to lead an Apostle hunt after Zelretch's wrinkly old ass and him promising to 'pull an Alderaan' on the Clocktower using his Jewel Sword) and eventually both sides backed down with nothing to show except a lot of bluster and me deciding that it seemed like a wonderful time to leave the Clocktower on an extended vacation.

I think everyone had just been bored at the time…

Still, Kischur hasn't forgotten that little series of events and has stepped up his game of trying to piss off as many powerful figures in the Magi hierarchy as he possibly can.

"So what's the _real_ reason you dragged me over here?"

"Simple, really. I got another pretty awesome catalyst for you to use!"

I stare at him emotionlessly for a moment before sighing and replying with, "I appreciate you trying to keep an eye out for me in your own unique way...but the dynamic Altera, Scáthach and I have isn't something I want to mess with. A new Spirit, one who's personality and motives might clash with our own, could disrupt that."

Kischur just knowingly grins and smugly says, "Oh I think you'll enjoy having _this_ particular Heroic Spirit watching your back. Stop by my office in a few hours, I'll have everything set up for you."

Knowing a losing battle when I see one I roll my eyes and dryly retort, "Fine, _Mom_. See you then."

The Kaleidoscope wanders off and I scoot back on over to the chatting group, Altera and Scáthach raising an eyebrow at the latest bit of news.

Looks like we might be getting an addition to our jolly little band sometime in the near future.

* * *

"Emiya, mind if I borrow a moment of your time?"

The young man meets my gaze with no small amount of confusion but nonetheless nods, following me out into an empty hallway while his companions worriedly stare at his back, obviously loathe to let him out of their sight lest he somehow disappear in the few seconds they take their eyes off of him.

Heh, I know the feeling.

"So...is there anything I can help you with, Horatius-San?"

"Actually I was wondering if I can maybe help _you_."

"Huh?"

I try not to laugh at his stunned expression before explaining, "I hear you've been involving yourself in some pretty dangerous brushfire wars up and down the Middle East. More than that, it's rather obvious Arturia and Tohsaka don't exactly approve..."

He awkwardly shuffles on his feet before slowly replying, "They don't...but I'm not good at Magecraft like Tohsaka-San is, or particularity charismatic like Saber-San...it's pretty much all I _can_ do."

"And in doing so, you're hurting them. It's the Hedgehog dilemma all over again. Trust me, I spent more than a few centuries having to deal with the fact that people I'd come to like would only be hurt by my constant need to wander."

The kid looks visibly downcast at my words and I smile before asking, "Emiya, do you only feel your Origin tugging at you when you have knowledge of these events, or does it always affect you no matter what?"

"Usually only when I hear things on the news or read about it on the internet. Why?"

I grin.

"Well, there's an easy solution then. Avoid any kind of media outlet or the like for awhile and you should do fine."

He looks at me like I'm crazy.

"It's...not as easy as you're making it out to be, Horatius-san. Information is everywhere, and the Clock Tower in no exception-"

"Spelunking."

"Huh?"

I can't resist chuckling at his gobsmacked expression and explain, "Cave diving. You'll be out of touch with the outside world for awhile and the sport is just demanding enough that you can't afford to let your mind wander, so no worries about thinking of all the faceless people you _could_ be saving."

He frowns at those words before swiftly retorting, "They're not 'faceless' people, Horatius-san."

"No one is. But if it comes down to the happiness and peace of mind of those who matter to you, as opposed to some people you might see for all of about ten minutes...it'll do you good to think of them as faceless."

He couldn't make it any clearer that he doesn't approve of what I'm saying...but he's at least willing to consider it, if the sullen expression is anything to go by.

Clapping him on the shoulder I walk back towards the table and advise, "Take it from one person aware of their Origin to another. The few people who stick by us, despite knowing of our 'condition', are worth whatever soul-rending agony we might go through in ignoring our Origin's call. And, over time, those very same people will make the call seem absolutely trivial in comparison."

* * *

"Ok, Dracula. What's your _real_ angle in giving me another catalyst to play with here?"

Looking perfectly offended Kischur just indignantly replies, "Now just what makes you think I have a 'real' angle here? Didn't I already tell you why?"

"Yes, you did. And the number of times you've told me the entire story the first time I've asked I can count on one hand."

The old Vampire just theatrically sighs and mutters, "Sheesh, guy sure knows how to take the fun out of surprises..."

"You're surprises have an unfortunate tendency to leave their recipients in compromising positions, Kaleidoscope."

He pouts at Scáthach's words, the Queen of Ulster relaxedly leaning up against the wall of Kischur's workshop while Altera contentedly sits in the chair next to mine, calmly listening to the conversation taking place.

"Aw c'mon now, I'm not _that_ bad!"

All three of us shoot that down with, " _Yes you are._ "

He heaves out a despondent sigh and abruptly switches demeanors, becoming far more business-like and serious.

"Real talk then. The Aylesbury Valesti is gonna kick off in a few years and I think we're gonna need all the help we can get if things go tits up and a fight breaks out. Which is my way of saying a fight _will_ break out."

I frown and curiously ask, "Why would you need _my_ help though? I mean, I'm willing to bet that the Mage Association and Church can set aside their differences for a _few_ hours, at least long enough to put a stop to the damn thing. And don't Solomon and Blackmore have an axe to grind with Altrogue? In between all of that firepower-never mind if you tag along-I think you'll be just fine."

"I wasn't invited. And I'm pretty sure Blackmore might hate me more than he does Altrogue, what with fucking up Crimson Moon and all..."

All three of us give him 'the look'.

Relenting, he raises his hands and airily replies, "Ok, ok...bad joke, I get it. But seriously, I dunno if you heard but apparently blonde and tiny somehow got Primate Murder to become her personal guard dog. _That_ will tip the scales a bunch, even if I decide to crash the party."

"You mean _when_ you decide to crash the party..."

I trail off and frown as I consider this latest development. Sure, Irappu doesn't exactly have the ear of Gaia or anything like that...but you would think it would have been able to keep track of the planet's personal attack dog.

"How did Altrogue get that thing to listen to her?"

"Beats me. Maybe she found it's favorite brand of Human kibble."

Altera seriously nods and adds, "No better way to tame a beast than to feed it it's favorite meal."

I'm half-tempted to make a joke about her being the same way, given how enthusiastic she is about food, but decide that's low hanging fruit.

Instead I turn to Kischur and ask, "Ok, I get why you would want me to come along now, but is that entirely necessary? If Primate Murder shows up in any capacity to delay the ritual, wouldn't Alaya deploy a bunch of Counter Guardian's to at least restrain it like it _had_ been doing?"

"I wouldn't rely on Alaya to keep a turtle from winning a cross-country sprint, never mind actually doing something that benefits us..."

I have to concede that point. Alaya _is_ a little... _inconsistent_ with it's recognition and elimination of 'threats',

Kischur sighs and leans back in his chair, lacing his arms behind his head.

" _That's_ why I want you standing by, Horatius. In between Altera and Scáthach, as well as this third Heroic Spirit that I want you to summon, there'll be no shortage of firepower in both physical and mystical varieties, certainly enough to at least make the big bad wolf a non-issue."

His gaze turns hard.

"And if we somehow _still_ fail at making sure the ritual isn't completed...we'll be relying on you and Irappu to make sure Dark Six doesn't get a chance to do whatever it is it might plan to do. Your World Spirit(TM) Reality Marble should make sure of that."

…

"Do you _have_ to specify that you've trademarked that phrase every time you say it?"

"Hey, I like it and I came up with it!"

I shake my head in exasperation until Scáthach suddenly interrupts with, "While I'll freely admit that doing battle with several Ancestors of incredible power is an attractive proposal...are we even certain we'll be back in time for said event? We know that parallel worlds have varying degrees of time scales..."

Another fair point. While we haven't encountered anything _totally_ bizarre, like one minute equaling three years or anything like that, we did have a case where one minute in that world equaled 27 in this one.

That was an outlier, the vast majority not having anything more dramatic than a ratio of one second equaling seven, but it _did_ raise the possibility of there being more excessive time differences in worlds we travel to, making Scáthach's question a pertinent one.

Of course, Kischur just shrugs indifferently and replies, "Just assume the worst and use that 27:1 ratio and come back before the ritual starts."

We fall silent before Kischur suddenly claps his hands an announces, "Alright, let's get to summoning!"

"Not so fast, Kischur. I never agreed to this without consulting Altera and Scáthach, their say is just as important as mine-"

"We're fine with it. If we have another friend, you'll be all the better protected, Master."

Scáthach merely nods in agreement and adds, "Having another Hero of old to spar with would be most welcome, never mind that they could regale us with their own tales of yore. Altera and I are in agreement."

...Well so much for _that_ potential roadblock.

Kischur just smirks at me and I roll my eyes before relenting and asking, "Alright, so what's this amazing catalyst you apparently got your hands on?"

He wordlessly slides a plain stone tablet with some kind of shed skin on it, a snake's skin to be precise.

Hmm...why does that sound familiar? Didn't Kischur describe this catalyst being used by a Tohsaka in the fourth Grail Wa-

…

I cast an unamused glare at the grinning Vampire.

"I'm legitimately questioning whether you're crazy or not. You want me to summon the _King of Heroes?!_ The very same Spirit that apparently hated the current state of the world so much they were gonna let Angra Mainyu just go wild across the globe?! That's the very definition of, 'clashing ideals and motives', idiot! You got a case of the _vastus animus_ or something?!"

"Hey now I've got a perfectly working brain! Don't go casting aspersions on my sanity!"

"Could have fooled _me_..."

I glance back at Altera and Scáthach, the two of them with carefully neutral expressions adorning their faces.

Basically saying that the decision is all mine to make.

Why _thanks_.

I turn back to Kischur and sigh before raising an expectant eyebrow.

"Well? This is the part where you tell me the upside to this insane idea of yours, isn't it?"

"Heh, you know me so well. But I ain't telling. That would spoil the surprise! Only way you're finding out is if you go ahead with the summoning itself..."

I cast one last confirming glance at my two companions and they nod, obviously not too worried about any potential disasters.

...Ugh, fine...

"Altera, Scáthach? Stay alert and ready while we pull this off. If Gilgamesh comes out swinging I want you two to kill first, ask questions never."

The King of Combat just stoically nods, expression slipping into one of cold readiness while the Queen of Ulster gains an excited smile, obviously liking the idea of potentially facing off against one of Humanities oldest heroes.

Kischur just claps his hands and gleefully announces, "Alright then, go ahead and follow me!"

Resignedly getting up from my chair and trailing after the excited Vampire I reflect that most Magi would _kill_ to be in my position, what with freely exploring the inside of the Wizard Marshall's workshop...and then they would have been summarily disappointed.

Twenty meters long and four tall, it's actually rather light on things dedicated to Jewel research.

A few benches and tables with various cabinets stocked full of different gems, a scattering of tomes and blueprints...and twenty of the precious stone shitting Guinea Pigs happily running around in their cage, a massive jungle gym that's easily just as big as the actual worktables themselves.

The most defining feature, however, is one entire side of the room with every available surface covered by a spiderweb of interconnected papers, maps, photos and bright red sharpie lines.

Most aspiring Magus would eagerly assume this is where he does his research and while they wouldn't be wrong...this is where the disappointment would sink in.

Because all of the posted information and notes is about pranks and schemes he's thought of over the years.

Receipts for elaborate costumes, smoke machines, firecrackers and a box of 1000 Whoopee Cushions.

Mugshots of roughly half the Clocktower's residents, all with various prank ideas written in frantic scribble beneath them, webs of red marker connecting them with other people who Kischur might be able to prank together and thus save time.

Geographic maps of areas where he might be able to unexpectedly drop said victims that'll achieve maximum embarrassment such as brothels comprised entirely of S&M midgets, manure dumps, animal breeding pens and, weirdly enough, one in the middle of Sea World.

...Not sure why that last one is on there, but I long ago learned to stop asking questions.

Needless to say, it's pretty easy to see where he spends the majority of his effort and time.

Tucked away in the corner of the room almost as an afterthought is a Summoning Circle, already made and set to do it's job.

"Alright, you get to do the honors. Oh, and here's your return ticket once you crossover."

Kischur hands me the catalyst and I wordlessly accept it before tossing it into the center of the circle, ignoring the loud clatter it makes as it does so and paying far more attention to the egg-shaped jewel he handed me. Much like _The Jeweled Eye_ it merely _seems_ flat, actually comprising of incredibly fine edges and surfaces.

It's also the only way for us to reliably get home once we cross over into another universe, the jewel able to open a portal anyplace and at anytime that leads to where we first made the jump.

I carefully set it on a nearby bench, making a mental note not to lose the damn thing.

"Ok, here goes nothing."

Altera manifests her Photon Ray in a blaze of multicolored light while a Gáe Bolg appears in Scáthach's hands with a flash of crimson, the weapon being twirled once before resting easily in her palm, both of them watching with an intensity that would make most normal people highly uncomfortable.

I let my mental trigger do it's thing-the sound of a xiphos being unsheathed echoing throughout my head-and let my Magic Circuits channel more Prana than normal.

" _Hey, Throne of Heroes."_

" _Knock knock."_

Being connected to Gaia-and by proxy Alaya-has it's perks, foremost being that when performing summons I don't have to bother with lengthy chants of self-suggestion and such excess verbiage.

And, you know...being alive for several millennia helps in having a pretty solid grasp of my mental faculties.

Regardless, the circle flares to life and in a process similar to when I first called Altera forth a physical blast of air and excess power hits us, albeit not accomplishing more than ruffling a few bits of clothing.

We're all too focused on the lone figure slowly coming into focus at the center of the spell array to notice tangential details anyway.

Golden armor that's masterfully crafted, at first glance seeming impractical but upon closer inspection fitting together in the way only a true piece of art can, deep blue embroidery decorating it with gentle swirls and cuneiform writings.

A helm of the same material, ivory horns arising from it in the shape of a bulls primary weapon, only a narrow slit showcasing piercing red eyes of the same coloration that Scáthach and Altera have that lock onto mine, the pupils unnaturally slitted, denoting the King's demigod ancestry.

Long, flowing blonde hair that escapes through a gap where the helm meets the neck, reaching down to his thighs in undulating waves.

A slight sloping of the armor's chest, most likely to...to…

Wait.

"To think that, after my many, _many_ years of rest, I would be brought forth from the throne for a rather... _mercurial_ , reason."

The voice is a quiet tenor that somehow doesn't need to be loud to radiate pure authority, the tones and inflection carrying assuredness that world leaders could only _dream_ of.

"You had best have a more compelling reason for summoning _me_ than, as you so inelegantly put it, 'more firepower'."

Gauntleted hands smoothly reach up and remove the helm, revealing one of Humanity's oldest heroes in all of _her_ glory.

Oddly pale skin, considering her heritage, light pink lips that barely have any visible imperfections and a _mean_ looking glare.

...

"Ok, Schweinorg, you've got some shit to explain."

The old Vampire just looks _way_ too smug for my liking as he grins at me.

"Uh oh, you're using my last name? I must be in trouble~!"

I start slowly counting down from five.

"...Sheesh, relax already. I got _this_ particular catalyst from an alternate world...specifically, one where everything-and I mean _everything_ -had it's gender reversed. And let me tell you, seeing a female Richard Nixon was the treat of a lifetime...still not as weird as the reversed color world though. Orange skies with black clouds and red trees was _creepy_."

I resist the urge to sigh and resignedly ask, "And you felt the need to grab a catalyst from that universe...why?"

"Well, partly because it was easier to find a relic that I already knew existed and looked like...mostly just because I wanted to see your dumbstruck face."

…

Of _course_ he would travel to a parallel world and embark on a treasure hunt just so he could watch me act bewildered for a few seconds.

"If you two mongrels are _quite_ done with your bickering, I await your undoubtedly _compelling_ answer."

Open displeasure and slight hints of murder now infecting her tone I return my somewhat sheepish attention to the King of Heroes, an awkward silence that's abruptly broken as a golden light suffuses the room, two portals denoting the usage of the Gate of Babylon appearing before our eyes.

And before Kischur or I can make a move, my two companions make their presence known.

A Gáe Bolg smoothly rises to lightly brush against a gap in the golden armor's side while the Photon Ray unhurriedly rises to the King of Hero's neck.

"Please refrain from harming our Master."

While the words are polite, Altera's tone wouldn't lose out to frozen nitrogen in it's frostiness.

"What she said. While I quite enjoy the idea of testing my skills against the King of Heroes, this isn't the method I would prefer it to come about."

Seeming completely unfazed by the appearance of my two allies Gilgamesh merely furrows her brow as she stares at the two of them, curiously asking, "The Scourge of God? The Wizard of Dun Scaith? What Magics have turned you into women? And I go by the title of _Queen_ of Heroes, not...King..."

The 'Queen' of Heroes falls silent, eyes suddenly shifting back and forth in rapid motions as if she was reading some invisible script.

Ahh...I see what the issue was with that hostile response.

According to Kischur while the Grail had given Heroic Spirits knowledge of the modern era, it had performed that action by more or less manifesting the spirit with said information present within their minds, much like how a computer would be sold with a few key bits of software already installed.

The method Kischur and I had devised works a bit differently. Rather than some blanket info dump the entirety of my memories are transferred over, bar none.

But that's the point, _memories_. It took Altera and Scáthach a few seconds when I first summoned them to realize they had a massive library of thoughts and experiences that weren't theirs, but could still be freely examined. Gilgamesh must have gone through the same thing.

Case-in-point, after a few seconds of 'recollection' the Queen of Heroes dispels the Gate of Babylon, prompting Altera and Scáthach to also lower their weapons as Humanities oldest sovereign stares at me and Kischur with undisguised curiosity.

"A Human slave who became the first of his kind to merge with one of Gaia's incarnations, who self-evidently commands the respect of Demigod like beings...and an Apostle Ancestor, one who wields one of the few remaining True Magics left to humanity in this day and age, who summoned me in the hopes of preserving this world's future."

I have what I'm pretty sure is the unique pleasure of seeing the Queen of Heroes _perplexed_.

"Had one of my kingdom's bards composed a tale such as this, I would have applauded their... _imagination_."

Feeling fairly reassured that this meeting isn't about to devolve into bloodshed I respectfully nod my head and reply, "It's an honor to meet you, Queen of Heroes. Any complaints or problems you may have with your incarnation can be directed to the old guy next to me, it's all his fault."

Kischur sends me a betrayed look but Gilgamesh completely ignores us, instead turning her attention towards the two other Heroic Spirits in the room.

"Hmm...the spawn of the White Titan and the warrior who, through dogged determination and sheer skill, eventually learned to kill Gods..."

All three women lock gazes, the tension in the air ratcheting up a notch and all of the sudden I'm wondering if it was a good idea to bring three of the strongest Heroic Spirits in existence into the same room on such short notice.

Kischur apparently has the same thought, as he quickly sidesteps behind me without the slightest hints of shame.

Now that's rather rude, considering _he's_ the one with the near indestructible body…

Eventually, as if some invisible switch was flipped, the three ancient heroes relax simultaneously.

Gilgamesh's domineering presence reverts to merely being authoritative, Scáthach offers up a friendly smile and Altera easily nods.

Apocalypse averted.

Gilgamesh turns towards me and fixes that crimson gaze on my own before somewhat challengingly inquiring, "So, _Master_..."

Wow. The way she says 'Master' makes it sound like she's reading out my execution sentence.

"I, one who once ruled the known world, am meant to be subservient to _you_?"

I offer up an unworried smile before easily responding, "While I understand that there's several centuries-if not millennia-of my memories to sift through...I think you'll quickly come to realize that there's no form of control placed upon you aside from me feeding you Mana. No Command Seals, no Contract Geas, no spiritually binding pacts...I'm not a fan of things that restrict one's personal freedom."

The Queen of Heroes casts a suspicious gaze in my direction even as she falls silent, obviously delving into said memories in an attempt to ascertain if I'm telling the truth or not.

"You can relax, Queen of the World. Horatius may be many things, but he's certainly no enslaver. And don't be so dour and serious about everything, this job is far more fun than you're giving it credit for!"

I pinch the bridge of my nose before wryly stating, "Only _you_ would find battling interdimensional monstrosities entertaining, Scáthach."

She just easily smiles at me, Altera adding her own bit by quietly announcing, "The food is very delicious."

Thanks for the backup there, Altera, but I don't think that's a sales pitch the Queen of Heroes cares much about.

Sure enough she just ignores the other woman and continues to think to herself, crimson eyes largely unfocused as she focuses on nothing.

...Well, there _is_ a lot of information to parse through and I'll be the first to admit that my memory, while pretty damn good, is by no means perfect.

That was Irappu's specialty, not mine.

A sudden clap startles me out of my introspection and four pairs of eyes turn towards Kischur, the scheming Vampire sporting a playful grin as he announces, "Well kids-"

"I'm older than you, Kischur."

He ignores my interruption and blithely continues with, "-since you're all good friends now how about I send you on your way? You can work out the kinks in your teamwork as you go!"

"Actually that sounds like a _terrible_ idea."

"Glad you're in agreement, one interdimensional portal coming right up!"

I resignedly sigh as a familiar rip in reality manifests before my eyes, a shimmering portal of shifting colors and sights that blend into some sort of fever-dream acid-trip.

"All set here! And remember, 27:1. At worst, 53 minutes over there will be one day here, try not to spend more than a month playing around if you can, would yah?"

I roll my eyes and dryly retort, "These one way trips _really_ suck...any luck on finding a way to reliably travel back to the same place over and over that _doesn't_ require me to carry around a Fabergé egg?"

"If I did, I would have freaking told you about it already. Now get moving and save me from having to do any actual work!"

Well, so much for that. Seeing as I don't have a clue how to access the Second True Magic I'll just have to take Kischur's word for it that traveling to the same location over and over isn't as easy as it may sound.

We can get to our location and open up a road to come back...but afterwards we'd have to find the thing all over again. And _The Jeweled Eye_ loses track of the parallel world once Kischur actually opens up a portal to it, for whatever reason that he apparently can't figure out.

"Hmm...I can now see why you occasionally refer to this Vampire as a, 'pushy, conniving dick', as you so eloquently stated."

The room goes silent as we all stare at a slightly smirking Gilgamesh.

…

Did...did the Queen of Heroes just knowingly _sass_ someone?!

Ok, something is seriously different about this summoning because the _King_ of Heroes, according to witness testimony, was something of an arrogant prick who's idea of humor ran along the line of kicking puppies.

Unfortunately I don't get a chance to think on that as Kischur _pouts_ at me and woundedly accuses, "Oh, so _that's_ what you really think of me?"

"...Only on the bad days?"

With a haughty sniff he turns his nose the other way and with all the gravitas of an upset toddler replies, "Well go ahead then and take your girlfriends with you! I mean, who would want to spend time with an old dick like me, right?"

"Oh come on you old _futuo_ , why do you have to be like-hrk!"

My breath leaves my lungs in a sudden burst as he plants his foot into my gut and promptly pushes me through the portal, my last view of this plane of existence being him grinning like a loon and slipping me a wink.

... _Catamitus_ just wanted an excuse to kick me through a portal.

And why do I feel like I just forgot something important?

* * *

Hmm...first impressions of this world are, well, _interesting_.

The air is practically _thrumming_ with ambient Mana, easily Age of the Gods level stuff, if not greater. Reminds me of the Reverse Side of the World a little bit...the quality and taste isn't too bad either, nice and crisp, if a tad smoky.

I offer up a brief sigh of relief as I can sense the three Heroic Spirits 'standing' nearby in their astralized forms, obviously observing things on their own.

It would have been rather awkward if Kischur had punted me through the portal and closed it before my companions could join me.

Regaining my feet I idly brush off the seat of my pants, briefly wondering if there's some sort of waterfall nearby to account for all of the background noise, a sort of staccato roar with interesting base mixed in.

...And shouts.

And explosions.

...

Ah shi-

 _[Pardon me, Master.]_

A lithe, tanned arm wraps around my waist and with a strength that seems incredibly disproportionate to the actual appearance of aforementioned limb, _yanks_ me away from where I was standing.

Not a moment too soon either, as a taloned foot that looks like it belongs on a mountain crashes down where I was standing, cratering the ground around it for a good dozen meters and causing me to raise an eyebrow in response.

So is this our interdimensional threat I should be worried about? It's certainly ugly enough…

At _least_ 250 meters tall and appearing for all the world like a humanoid Godzilla, minus the stubby forelimbs and back spikes, it's certainly unpleasant to look at, nevermind the odd pulsating warts and other such crap that adorns it's hide.

Skidding to a halt after her brief sprint away from the thing Altera sets me down, a quick nod of thanks being wordlessly accepted by her as we start observing the whole picture.

And what a picture it is.

Several helicopter-like vehicles buzz throughout the air, none closing to more than 400 meters of the thing while, perhaps most interestingly, dozens-if not hundreds-of human sized figures fly through the sky on a mix of wing-types and launch a variety of attacks on the monstrosity.

The ones with bat-like appendages are using what appear to be Elemental Magecraft, a mix of fire, electricity and ice projectiles bombarding the monster while the flyers with Angel and Crow-looking wings are firing off beams of light in a variety of weapon shapes such as swords, lances and arrows.

...Well, not _exactly_ Magecraft, but it feels pretty damn similar.

"Well gang, what do we think? Is the giant Monster our target or is the admittedly adept Magic humanoid creatures with obvious signs of modern technology?"

Scáthach manifests in a crimson wave that reminds me of the Northern Lights while Gilgamesh predictably coalesces amidst a small storm of gold particles, both contemplatively staring at the deafening battle taking place less than a kilometer away.

"If it's tall dark and handsome over there that's on our side, I'd say it's doing just fine. Take a look, those attacks don't seem to be doing much."

The Queen of Combat is right on the money, if the strikes don't simply glance off of the thing's flesh they only leave shallow divots and gashes which heal within seconds. Hmm...reminds me of a Dead Apostle a little bit, at least in regards to how quick it fixes itself.

"If we are to judge these... _comrades_ of ours simply by looks alone, then the titan of filth will be no ally of _mine_. Merely observing the thing makes me nauseous."

I can't help but privately agree with the Queen of Heroes observation, _especially_ once I get a good look at what one of those throbbing pustules does.

With a brief spray of some kind of disgusting looking ichor it splits down the middle and disgorges a dozen eldritch nightmares, the mix and match of monsters ranging from a humanoid goat demon to a crimson skinned lizard-man, all of them leaping to the ground or taking to the skies and further distracting the attacking forces.

...Not the grossest thing I've ever seen, but suffice to say it's a sight I could have happily done without in my life…

"...They're fighting to protect their homes..."

All of us, Gilgamesh included, look to Altera as she neutrally gazes at the far off battle.

...Well, not _entirely_ neutral. I've spent enough time with her to notice the slightly furrowed brow, the minuscule downturn to her mouth that signifies her disquiet.

"And what fine observation has lead you to _that_ conclusion, Oh King of Destruction?"

Seemingly ignoring Gilgamesh's sarcastic tone my second oldest friend simply replies, "Their movements, their faces...they are like the Romans when my armies used to ride to their villages, their towns, their cities."

The Queen of Heroes seems to accept that, another odd point that momentarily stumps me. Again, judging by her male counterpart's reputation, she by all means should have ignored Altera's words as the rambling of a mindless tool when compared to her own sovereign mind.

Instead, she seems oddly _contemplative_.

Something to think on when the world isn't blowing up around us.

"Hey! Are you four _blind?!_ Quit standing around and get out of here already!"

We all turn in mild surprise as a figure swoops down for a heavy landing, clad in some kind of carapace looking armor that reminds me of a beetles, his four bat wings swiftly retreating into his back.

Huh, interesting. Looks like they can retract those things at will.

Even more compelling is that the figure spoke perfect Latin with no discernible trace of an accent. Odd…

"Ah, pardon me if this sounds strange...but I don't suppose you could maybe explain what's going out here?"

An incredulous gaze meets mine...and he momentarily falters upon seeing my companions, not that I blame him.

Scáthach with her bodysuit and vambraces, Altera with her tribal cloths that don't do much to cover her modesty and Gilgamesh adorned in her resplendent armor make for quite the mismatched trio.

And then there's me with a simple outfit of leather jacket, jeans and boots.

We probably look like some sort of seizure-inducing comedy group. Regardless, the figure gives a swift shake of his head to clear it and hurriedly explains, "Have you been living under a rock or something?! The Old Satan Faction came out swinging and used Annihilation Maker to create these damn things! Fucking Bandersnatch...worst of all is the Jabberwocky over here, even the _Emperor_ wasn't able to slow it down for long! At this rate it'll reach Lilith in just a few hours...There's nothing you four can do, if you head sixty kilometers west of here there's a refugee camp, if you go now you can probably make it."

Well that was a whole lot of nothing that was just said...but I get the general context.

Big bad monster, made by organization and sent to attack a place, guy standing next to me thinks things are hopeless. Also I don't know what direction west is.

Not a lot to go on, but it's enough.

" _Nothing we can do?_ Had you proper understanding of what you just implied I would have taken action to punish you for your presumptuousness...as it stands I will merely educate you on the matter."

Oddly enough it's the Queen of Heroes who solidifies my decision.

"Attila, Scáthach, let us show this woefully misinformed man of what Demigods are capable of. Besides, that creature is far too disgusting to let wander freely."

Crimson eyes meet mine and in an amused voice Gilgamesh asks, "Of course, with your permission, _Master_."

I don't think any of us believe for a second she's asking that honestly, her words mostly meant to humor me.

Another odd trait from the Queen of Heroes, this familiarity and 'jolliness', but I'll happily take it over the alternative.

Besides, I was gonna ask them to waste that thing anyway.

"By all means, go wild. Let this world have a taste of what a Heroic Spirit can _really_ do."

Scáthach has an expression similar to that of a child dropped into a candy shop with no limit on their coin purse, Gilgamesh smirks before manifesting her helm and adorning it while Altera merely nods and turns to face this 'Jabberwocky', her expression becoming frigid in it's intensity.

...Who the Hell decided to name that thing _Jabberwocky?_ It doesn't look anything like the namesake monster…

"Hey! Are you four even listening?! That thing is-"

I gently set a hand on his shoulder, offering up a relaxed smile and tell him, "Don't you go worrying yourself now, kiddo. They'll be just fine."

His expression suggests he thinks I've taken leave of my senses but all of the sudden the Queen of Heroes announces, "Well then, who shall take the lead in carving through these smaller monstrosities? Using my treasures on such lowly creatures does seem rather wasteful..."

"I'll do it."

Altera's emotionless response seems to amuse Gilgamesh and even Scáthach chuckles before playfully bumping the other woman's shoulder with her own.

"Why Altera, if I didn't know any better I'd say you're _eager_..."

The dark-skinned Spirit just calmly dips her head, glances at the Queen of Heroes and makes a small 'mmm' noise before going back to staring at the Jabberwocky.

Scáthach grins manically and says to the Golden Queen, "Oh, you seem to have inspired a bit of competitiveness in her. That's quite impressive, Queen of Heroes."

"It's only natural. I would have made a poor ruler indeed if I did not inspire my subjects to greater heights."

Her piece said the Gate of Babylon suddenly flares to life around her feet, odd wing-like constructs now adorning the side of her boots.

"The time for talk is over, shall we depart and show these commoners the strength of a true sovereign?"

The Lord of Spirits excitedly licks her lips and murmurs, "Oh I think we are going to get along _splendidly_."

Shaking my head in equal parts bemusement and pity for the poor creature about to suffer their competitive wrath I take a deep breath before settling in to do my part.

" _Roar of the Crowd..."_

With the echo of an unsheathed Xiphos ringing in my head I feel my Magic Circuits come to life, the opened pathways thrumming with energy as the near unlimited wellspring of Irappu's strength tries to force its way through them, in much the same way water tries to force itself through a dam.

While I haven't had to actually speak my mental trigger for a _long_ time now...there's something intrinsically comforting about that mental shift that always brings me back to it.

" _Frozen Domain."_

A simple application of Fire Thaumatergy, counterintuitively enough, _Frozen Domain_ 'convinces' the warm air around a certain area that there's colder air somewhere else, subsequently lowering the temperature. A competently powerful Magus could use this Spell to cause localized flash freezes and other such effects...I can only manage to make things uncomfortably chilly.

There's a reason Kischur had jokingly called me a 'shitty Average One'. Affinity for all elements, but without the necessary output to go crazy with them.

No matter, it works for my purposes just fine. Channeling as much prana through my Circuits as I can I feel my body start to rapidly heat...and promptly stabilize as the Spell leeches the excess warmth.

"All set here. The stage is yours, ladies."

I hear Gilgamesh snort at that but make no further comment as they all turn to face the Jabberwocky.

And then the air becomes heavy with released Prana.

Altera's Photon Ray becomes almost painfully bright to look at even as the Marks of War on her body shimmer with a fractal pattern of colors, the diadam adorning her head lighting up with a shifting pattern of blue, green but predominately red while her veil seems to almost _sparkle_ with barely containable power.

Scáthach manifests two of her favored crimson spears, witchfire blazing along their lengths even as Primeval Runes reveal themselves along the fabric of her clothing, her previously excited smile becoming downright euphoric in nature, eyes half-lidded in a fugue state of awareness.

Gilgamesh suddenly starts to release blood red light as the God markings upon her skin and underneath her armor come to life, four Gates of Babylon manifesting behind her shoulders and hovering there like protective sentinels.

A grin I have no control over makes it's way onto my face, the old rush of fighting in the colosseum, to the death, coming back to me and I give the order that'll start this little job of ours.

" _Kill it."_

* * *

All three Heroic Spirits blur forward at once, no more than three meters distance separating them.

Altera in the lead, her Marks of War allowing her to expel Prana in a steady stream that accelerates her beyond even what most Servants are capable of.

Then again, those three aren't anything so limited as _Servants_.

Scáthach takes up the middle, Runes and pure strength allowing her to keep pace perfectly, spears held at the ready to strike at whatever target might break through her friend's forward assault.

Gilgamesh brings up the rear, those winged boots flexing and shifting in an odd motion that lets her keep up with the other two Spirits, despite her lack of natural enhancements.

In about five seconds they've covered 400 meters and the first of the smaller creatures meet them in battle.

...Well, perhaps it'd be more accurate to say the first of them meet Altera's sword.

A Goat Demon has time to glance towards the sprinting Heroes-

-and then it finds roughly half of it's body mass unraveled by the Photon Ray, head going in one direction and legs in the other, bovine puzzlement evident on it's now slack features.

The same fate befalls eight others in quick succession before the beings realize they're being attacked, let loose a chilling assortment of howls and charge forward.

It doesn't do much except cause my three companions to marginally slow their pace.

Altera's weapon splits itself into three striking ropes of burning light-no doubt where she got the moniker, 'Whip of God'-that slash and strike in independent arcs, each and every swing ending one of the creatures before it has time to process it's imminent death.

Some of the luckier ones make it through the Photon Ray's onslaught and leap towards Altera-

-only to be killed with _very_ precisestrikes of Scáthach's Gáe Bolgs, neat little holes being drilled into their heads or hearts as they skid to an undignified halt, hateful expressions permanently etched on their ugly faces.

Some of the smarter or at least more enterprising demon-things attempt to attack from the side or rear-

-and promptly find themselves nailed to the ground or crushed into pulp by a myriad of weapons fired from the golden gates surrounding Gilgamesh, bladed or blunt weapons being fired with equal abandon and not a single shot missing.

And in no more than 14 seconds the three of them reach the Jabberwocky itself, a trail of massacred bodies marking the path they took.

Now the real show can begin.

Gilgamesh kicks things off by dematerializing the four gates that had been shadowing her...and instead _hundreds_ of golden portals manifest across the sky, bathing the landscape in a harsh glow as the Queen of Heroes slices her hand downwards, even as she runs at a parallel angle to the Jabberwocky.

With a deafening _CRACK_ and metallic scream hundreds of weapons pour forth from the Gate of Babylon and with a noise comparable to someone setting off a few kilograms of C4-

-the vast majority merely bounce off of the Jabberwocky's skin, perhaps a few dozen actually penetrating at any depth.

The creature summarily ignores the assault, although the surrounding natives to this world swiftly back off, clearly not wanting to proceed with their assault until they can figure out what the motive behind that attack was.

Gilgamesh isn't deterred in the slightest, dismissing the majority of the Gates until only thirty or so are left.

The Noble Phantasms that fly out of _these_ gates are a cut above the rest. Whereas the previous weapons had merely bounced off or caused the equivalent of a pinprick...these are a whole other story.

A spiral lance perforates the Jabberwocky and _keeps_ going after it exits the other side. A pitch black scimitar ignites dark purple flames along the patch of flesh it slices open, the fire rapidly spreading despite the creatures regenerative powers. A sparking warhammer impacts against the Jabberwocky's flank and causes a twenty meter patch of skin to _ripple_ with transferred kinetic force, no doubt making a bloody hash of the things innards.

...Provided it has innards.

Amidst all the rest of the various strikes and their effects the Jabberwocky doesn't make a single noise, the only response being that it briefly stops moving and it's regeneration takes over a second later, causing the wounds to disappear as if they never happened.

Another tense second passes...and then it's massive head turns in Gilgamesh's direction-

-before it lets loose a roar that sounds like two tectonic plates grinding together, taking a single, ponderous step in the Golden Hero's direction.

Which causes it to miss Altera's sudden appearance directly behind it's legs, Photon Ray incandescent with released power as it's three 'blades' combine to form a sword of light almost five meters long.

She leaps upwards and unleashes a powerful two handed swing-

-that tears a massive gouge out of the Jabberwocky's achilles tendon (again, provided it has one) and briefly staggers the monstrosity, the wound seeming to have trouble healing when compared to the Noble Phantasms Gilgamesh launched at it.

Taking advantage of it's brief imbalance Scáthach casts a _Vind_ rune beneath her feet and the added burst of air, in addition to her own superhuman strength, catapults her almost a hundred meters straight up where she alights upon the creatures arm and sprints forward towards it's face, in seeming defiance of gravity.

Several tumors along the Jabberwocky's arm burst open as she does so, a sizable group of ugly freaks howling as they dash forward, openly baying for her blood-

-and they promptly start dying in droves as Scáthach tears into them with a lethal efficiency that is as beautiful as it is erotic, dancing and swaying with an almost _sexualized_ style of slaughter.

A red skinned Devil creature slashes out at her face with it's talons, only for an unhurried jab of a Gáe Bolg to piece it's skull and cause it go limp as the Queen of Ulster gracefully leaps over it's corpse and casts a _Sowilo_ rune midair, flames engulfing another three and turning them to ashes as she smoothly lands in a crouch, knees bent as if in prayer with the barbed spears crossed underneath her chest.

Two more attempt to attack her from the front and find themselves bifurcated by a swipe of her spear, allowing another duo to come at her from the sides. With a playful smile she flips a Gáe Bolg behind her back and stabs into the Jabberwocky's flesh, using it as a makeshift pole to hoist herself upwards and kick outwards with her legs, booted heels cratering each creature's skull and throwing them back several meters.

Still more pour in though, prompting the Warrior Queen to use a single arm to flip herself upwards in a dexterous display pole dancers would have envied and spin once, a far stronger _Sowilo_ rune blazing to life at the end of the second Gáe Bolg's tip and engulfing the monsters in killing fire.

A forward flip rips the embedded Gáe Bolg out of the Jabberwocky's skin and brings it in a looping arc that nails the last attacking Demon thing to the floor where it stays, unmoving.

Scáthach resumes her headlong sprint towards the Jabberwocky's face, dark crimson hair momentarily illuminated by the embers of her foes burning bodies and I feel a bit of fond exasperation at her showmanship.

It speaks volumes about one's skill when it's as much provocative art as it is a fighting style.

In the brief moments she took to dispatch her foes Altera and Gilgamesh weren't idle, the latter continuing to weave in between the mass of small fry on the ground and the Jabberwocky's ponderous steps, Photon Ray a constant light show of destruction as she swings it with a single-minded efficiency, her artless but brutally effective strikes a stark contrast to Scáthach's more 'eccentric' tempo.

Meanwhile the Queen of Heroes took to the skies on some sort of floating carpet embedded with precious gemstones, Gates of Babylon still firing off a constant stream of high-ranked Noble Phantasms.

Apparently the Jabberwocky has had enough of that particular threat, however...with an animalistic fury it's jaws unhinges unnaturally wide, a stream of blackened fire issuing from it's throat and engulfing the Queen of the World, carpet and all.

I feel the briefest moments of concern-there's no telling what kind of nasty properties that fire might have-before relaxing again as a golden aircraft of some kind that I vaguely recognize as the Vimana used during the 4th Grail War shoots out from an extra-large portal, flying beneath the armored Spirit and she effortlessly lands on it, the only sign of her being hit at all is some slightly glowing portions of her armor and that's it.

…

Well, that and the clear irritation her body language is displaying.

The Jabberwocky gives another rumbling roar and splits it's maw wide-

-only for two crimson spears to shriek through the air and stab through it's eyes, eliciting a pained roar that raises an octave as swirling _Is_ runes cause a wall of ice to cover it's ocular bits.

Clever, you can't regenerate what isn't actually gone…

The colossal creature lifts it's arms to no doubt scratch away at the blinding material...and quite literally gets disarmed by Altera and Gilgamesh a bare second later.

The sudden draw on my Prana forces me to open my Circuits wider as two _very_ powerful Noble Phantasms come into play.

A massive array of Magic Circles flare to life directly above the Jabberwocky, Altera cutting loose with the _Star of Tears_ and a blinding blue light flashes down from the Heavens in a destructive display most would normally attribute to a meteor striking the Earth, completely burning away the creature's left arm from the wrist up, limp hand falling to the ground below with all the grace of a crashing airplane.

It never ceases to amuse me how much of a grudge Mars holds against Altera (or at least her progenitor) that he'd reach across dimensions just for a chance to blow her up.

Gilgamesh's attack isn't as flashy but no less effective. Manifesting a silver longbow big enough that she has to hold it sideways the Queen of Heroes pulls back on the string, takes aim...and when the string snaps forward a storm of lightning bursts forth in the place of arrows, a two second deluge that blows the Jabberwocky's right shoulder apart at the seams, ragged and smoking flesh falling like rain from the injury.

I think it's safe to say this is where things come to an end.

As if on cue the largest Gate of Babylon yet shimmers into existence and with an imperious gesture the Golden Queen sends a _huge_ sword flying towards the swaying Jabberwocky.

Thirty meters long and three wide, Ig-Alima never ceases to amaze...granted, it's still rather small in comparison to it's target, but in between the still struggling to heal injuries Altera inflicted on it's legs as well as the host of other wounds the weapon strikes with enough force to topple it backwards, like a mountain slowly slipping off the edge of the world.

The ground itself _shakes_ beneath my feet and the thunderous _CRASH_ noise reaches me from all the way back here as the monster impacts the forest below.

Angrily writhing back and forth, slowly but doggedly healing itself it looks like the fight may continue-

-until all eyes look upwards and see a new star in the sky, glowing bloody crimson like an overexposed lens flare, the woman holding it perched upon a barbed spear held aloft by a slowly spinning _Luft_ rune, a feral grin adorning her regal features.

" _Soaring Spear of Piercing Death!"_

A violent throw of the blazing spear sends it slashing into the downed Jabberwocky where the world seems to freeze for a split-second…

And then, with an effect similar to viewing water pour from a showerhead through sunlight, innumerable darts of light start tearing through the monster, a lightshow of pure, destructive energy as the overcharged Gáe Bolg tears itself into pieces, each fragment containing a sliver of it's causality warping powers.

After a few seconds of this the Noble Phantasm shuts off like a switch was flicked and all is silent, the Jabberwocky unmoving as it lays sprawled on the ground-

And it's form abruptly crumbles, flesh sloughing off it's bones as the structure of it's body can no longer support it due to the countless tiny gashes Scáthach's Noble Phantasm inflicted.

With little to no fanfare the enormous corpse slowly melts away into nothingness, like a shadow finally exposed to sunlight.

...Well, that's a wrap. And it took just over two minutes for the three Heroic Spirits to finish things.

Said Spirits astralize themselves and even through the vague empathetic link we share I feel Altera's satisfaction at a job well done, Scáthach's afterglow of a good fight and Gilgamesh's smugness at putting the Jabberwocky in it's place.

 _[Nice work, Altera,_ _Scáthach,_ _Queen of Heroes. I think you wowed the crowd.]_

Altera's voice comes back in demure tones, quietly replying, _[Thank you, Master. It was nothing special, though.]_

I glance up at the hundreds of flying figures, now seeming to shake themselves out of their stupor and beginning to mop up the smaller critters, a grin crossing my features.

 _[Well, If you say so.]_

 _[Hmph. While it was no Gu_ _gu_ _lana, as a moment of idle entertainment I suppose it performed satisfactorily.]_

I chuckle at the Queen of Hero's tone before turning to the dumbstruck guy who first approached me, his expression suggesting that I grew an extra head sometime in the past few minutes.

"W-what _are_ you? Some kind of Longinus Wielder? How did you make those three appear and disappear like that?"

"I don't know what a Longinus Wielder is, so I'm just gonna go with 'no'. Also, I'm gonna need you to look at this."

"Huh?"

I bring one of Kischur's many Mystic Codes eye level with the confused man-he assured me the fact that it looks like the Men In Black's Neuralyzer is just a coincidence, which I don't buy-and trigger it with a small pulse of Prana.

A very powerful selective memory loss Spell that erases more memories the more Prana you channel into it, quite a handy code for someone in my line of work. I pocket it as the man blinks dumbly for a second-

"W-what _are_ you? Some kind of Longinus Wielder? How did you make those three appear and disappear like that?"

...You're kidding, right?

Damn, that's some powerful innate Magic Resistance, typically stuff you wouldn't find on anyone lower than an experienced Clocktower Magus…

Well, that's why we have backup plans.

 _[Altera? Kindly make him forget, would you?]_

 _[Understood.]_

Materializing herself and raising the Photon Ray above her head the brown-skinned beauty bashes the poor sap over the head with the hilt and he crumples forward with nary a sound.

Pleasant dreams, sweet prince.

My companion astralizing once more I generally ask, _[So who's up for a field trip? That Jabberwocky thing_ _was headed towards_ something _, might be a good place to start_ _looking for more information_ _._ _]_

Gilgamesh interrupts with, _[As opposed to the many plebeians still in the area that would no doubt be grateful to their saviors? Provided they are not disrespectful mutts, of course…]_

Speaking up for the first time since the battle ended Scáthach advises, _[Now now, Queen of Heroes, if we were to do that we would no doubt be welcomed with open arms...but we would also be the subject of much scrutiny, not to mention a biased viewpoint. For the moment retaining our anonymity and finding out more about this world we've travelled to is more important. This isn't the first time we've done something like this. Besides, we can always just reveal ourselves later.]_

She pauses for a moment.

 _[Also Horatius just wants to explore, it being a new world at all.]_

Guilty as charged.

Regardless _,_ the Golden Queen is silent for a few seconds before the mental equivalent of a shrug is felt and her voice disinterestedly replies, _[Do as you wish.]_

Well, approval is approval.

With that in mind I reinforce my body with the ease of centuries of practice and sprint off into the surrounding forest before the rest of the unconscious guy's comrades come looking for him, clocking in at 80 km/h and weaving around trees with a relaxedness that allows my mind to wander.

Hmm...quite the interesting universe we seem to have found this time.

Human's with bat and angel wings, normal Humans that can fly around seemingly unaided, giant monsters that would put most of the stuff back home to shame in pure size and, perhaps most importantly, I was mistaken for a 'Longinus Wielder'.

Provided the term 'Longinus' implicates the same thing in this world as it did in mine that means there are people that have the ability to 'kill the divine', or something along those lines…

And if there are weapons or tools that can do that, obviously there must be Gods. Sure would explain why there's so much ambient Mana in the air.

Huh, I wonder if it's a God that gave off the black warning...

Well, so sense in taking wild guesses. As soon as we're a sufficient distance away from the small army back there I'll beg the Queen of Heroes into giving me a ride on the Vimana to the nearest sign of civilization.

And maybe ask why she's not being a total douche, unlike her male counterpart.

Mysteries upon mysteries…

...Dammit, I still feel like I'm forgetting something…something to do with getting back...home…

…

Ohhhhhhh _shit_.

 _[Master?]_

I take a deep, calming breath, let inner peace take me and-

"Schweinorg you senile _MENTULAAAAAA!"_

* * *

Zelretch

Hmm...now what to do, considering my fun with Horatius has run it's course and he's likely gonna be gone for awhile.

Well I could always try and get started on that plan to dump Mercury into another dimension...nah, that's too much work right now.

Instead I let my mind wander as I refill the water bottles of my precious little pet's cages, glancing at my workbenches and deciding that it _has_ been awhile since I've taken a look at some of the ideas I've had floating around for awhile...now…

What the fuck?! Why is the jewel I gave that idiot to get back home sitting on my workbench?! How could he forget to bring that with him?! He had all the time in the world after I...kicked him through…

…

Shit.

…

...I just meant that as a joke!

Ah Hell, he's gonna be _pissed_ once this is all said and done. I better up my life insurance...

* * *

 **Welcome all to a fun little project that I've had on the backburner for quite some time now, but have finally got around to posting! This story is going to be a fairly lighthearted, fun adventure tale of Horatius and three of the more powerful Heroic Spirits interacting with the various DxD factions and such as they try to simultaneously find a way home and also complete the task they were given.  
**

 **A fair bit of the character interaction and dialogue will be between the four leads though. While there were brief snippets of wordplay and past history future chapters will delve a bit further into the specifics of how Horatius, Altera and** **Scáthach met and some of their earlier escapades.  
**

 **Drop a review or any other form of feedback and see you all next chapter!**


	2. So Here's What We Do

**Foreword: For those who haven't read any of my other stories, at the end of the chapter** **I typically respond to any and all reviews (at least the ones that ask questions or ones I can respond to with more than a 'thank you') as well as clarify or commiserate about parts of the story. Enjoy ch 2!**

* * *

Ch 2: So Here's What We Do…

Sirzechs

 _"I understand your point, Hycal, but just by pure weight of proof and past_ _experience_ _, it was, without a doubt, a Sacred Gear user that destroyed the Jabberwocky!"_

" _And why couldn't it have been another type of Magic, Johan? There_ are _other types of powers out there. Summoning techniques could very well have been the cause of the creatures demise, as well as explain why the three fighters disappeared once the battle was over."_

" _What form of summoning could have called three such powerful figures and_ not _have been noticed by anybody else present? There are Avatar-type Sacred Gears in existence, perhaps this is just one more variety of them!"_

"Please _, the only kind of Sacred Gear that could call upon that kind of power at will is a_ _previously unknown_ _Longinus! Considering no faction has stepped forward_ _to claim ownership of such a valuable asset, the only likely explanation is that said wielder belongs to the Hero Faction and why would they work against themselves?"_

I mute the TV and reflect that that's a very good question indeed.

Although I will admit it's a bit of a novelty to watch the news and _not_ know what's going on behind the scenes. After all, as Maou a great deal of events that can't exactly be talked about publicly make their way to my desk, somewhat diminishing the mystery of figuring out what exactly is going on…

"You all set to visit a certain Bonehead, Sirzechs?"

I glance behind me as Azazel walks in, snorting at his description of Hades.

"Ready when you are. Let's make this quick if we can, being in a position where we can't act makes me nervous."

The Fallen chuckles and playfully retorts, "Careful there, Red. A leader can't afford to admit he's something as normal as _nervous_."

"He can among others just like him."

My counterpart just good naturedly rolls his eyes...but there's plenty of truth to what I just said.

Still, it could be worse. Originally he and I were going to sequester ourselves away in the Death God's territory and ensure that he couldn't interfere in any further capacity... _especially_ after that stunt he pulled with Samael.

That plan had been delayed after those mystery warriors showed up and thoroughly destroyed the Jabberwocky, allowing my Peerage and the majority of our allied forces to turn their attention to the rest of Bandersnatch and rebelling Old Satan Faction forces, crushing them in short order and restoring order within three days.

What had been an occupation is now just a... _friendly,_ visit.

"Any news from Slash Dog on finding our mystery allies?"

Azazel shrugs and languidly replies, "No dice. While I'm just as interested as you are I don't think we're going to be getting any answers anytime soon, we've got nothing to go on aside from that one Devil's vague description and some scattered news footage."

"Fair enough..."

Unfortunately precious little had actually been recorded of the three unknown warriors' battle against the Jabberwocky, most of the aerial news craft had been trying to stay out of the crossfire and been unable to get more than brief snippets of the displayed powers and blurred images of the three.

Even more frustrating, apparently the only Devil who had personally met them was knocked out and couldn't remember anything more specific than meeting a man who had held some kind of authority over the three who had fought.

Like the Fallen Progenitor said, not much to go on.

"Brother, you're leaving already?"

I turn and smile at the sight of my wife, little sister and it's-just-a-matter-of-time-Brother-in-law entering the room.

"Sorry, Rias...but the sooner we convince Hades to keep his nose-"

"Which doesn't exist, mind you..."

I ignore Azazel's editorial and continue with, "-out of our business the better for all involved. He caused no shortage of trouble in releasing Samael and is no doubt plotting further."

I cast a sad glance at my potential Brother.

"We came dangerously close to losing Issei because of that. I have no intention of letting that meddler get away with this."

The Red Dragon Emperor sheepishly rubs the back of his head with his free hand, the other possessively clutched between my adorable sister's arms, as if she's afraid he'll disappear if she lets go.

...Which is perfectly understandable. It had been a miracle that the young Devil managed to return to his Master, only the intervention of the Dragon Gods allowing him to do so.

"Very well, Brother. But promise me that...you'll..."

"Rias?"

I frown as I notice both my cute little sister and her Pawn staring wide-eyed at the television, looking as if they've seen ghosts. Grayfia notices as well and carefully asks, "Lady Rias? Master Hyoudou? Is something the matter?"

Swallowing thickly the Dragon Emperor stutters out, "U-um, President? T-that's the Gate of Babylon, right? I'm not just, uhh...imagining things?"

...They _recognize_ those powers?

Looking more than a little shocked herself Rias shakily responds, "N-no, that is indeed the Gate of Babylon. And I may just be seeing things...but isn't that Atilla the Hun and Scáthach?"

...Wait, the Human King of the Huns? Grayfia and Azazel also seem lost and I carefully ask, "You two sound like you _know_ of these...beings."

Issei gives a slightly disturbed giggle and says, "Well, this may sound a little crazy...but those abilities are, uh...fictional?"

"...That doesn't really explain things."

Rias heaves out a sigh and spends a few seconds bringing up something on her phone...before showing me a picture and article of something called the 'Gate of Babylon'...that looks _very_ similar to the golden portals that had shot forth weapons of incredible power without apparent limit.

...Huh?

Looking more than a little embarrassed Rias explains, "There's a fictional universe called _Fate_ that has been made into a few different mediums. Games, visual novels, anime...those abilities, as well as their users, look like exact replicas of some of the characters and concepts shown in the universe."

The Red Dragon Emperor enthusiastically nods and brings out his own phone, showing off something called, _Fate Grand Order_ , what looks like a mobile game of all things…

"It's true, those two who were using the red spears and rainbow sword are characters in this game! And let me tell you, they are _babes_. Atilla may not have much in the way of boobs, but those clothes and adorable personality...but if it's boobs you're looking for, Scáthach is the way to-OW!"

He rubs his cheek where Rias pinched him and sheepishly adds, "Er, sorry Rias...anyway those three are Gilgamesh, Atilla the Hun and Scáthach or my name isn't Issei!"

I look at the proffered 'proof' and can't help but still feel skeptical.

"I'll admit that the 'evidence' certainly matches what we're seeing...but what makes you so certain these are the ones from that _Fate_ universe? And why are you only pointing this out now?"

My precious little sister looks ashamed before quietly explaining, "...My apologies, Big Brother. But after Issei, well... _died_ , I wasn't paying much attention to the news...that was a blunder on my part and I apologize for my abdication of responsibility."

...I'm sorry, little Rias! Big Brother didn't mean to make you sad! Please don't make that face!

To my intense relief she pulls herself together-sparing my heart in the process-and says, "As for why I think those are the same people as in the other universe? Well, as insane as this sounds...the _Fate_ universe plays heavily with the idea of parallel worlds, in fact one of the characters travels between them quite frequently. While I'm not sure why they ended up _here_...it's by no means impossible. We know the Dimensional Gap connects to many realms on it's own."

…

I can't believe I'm actually _believing_ this.

"Master Hyoudou, may I see your phone for a moment?"

"Huh? Oh, sure..."

I barely notice Grayfia examining the Red Dragon Emperor's device, lost in my own thoughts.

...Well, assuming these 'Fate' characters _have_ come into our universe...what do they hope to accomplish? Not knowing their motives is a huge danger…

"Lady Rias?"

Uh oh.

I know that tone.

"I can't help but notice that this _Grand Order_ game has options to buy 'in-game currency'. And that the offers are in increments often expensed to the Gremory family under the category, 'business'. _Am I mistaken_?"

...Rias' face pales and she nervously swallows, Issei suddenly standing _very_ still and trying not to make any sudden movements.

Sorry Little Sis...I love you and all, but not enough to get in the way of Grayfia when she's angry.

"W-well the drop rates in the game are _awful!_ And the deals aren't very good and it's one of the few games I play, so...you know..."

"The money allowed to you by your parents is _not_ meant to be frivolously spent on a _phone game_ , Lady Rias. I'm disappointed in you. I think it's time someone went over your expense reports a bit more... _carefully_."

…

Rias looks like she was just sentenced to the gallows and I decide now is a good time to come to the rescue like the awesome Big Brother that I am.

"Rias, can you maybe tell us more about these people? About their powers and how much of a threat they might be?"

Gathering herself she taps in a few things on her phone and replies, "I just sent you a link to the website that can hopefully explain things in more depth than I can...but as for how dangerous they are?"

She looks at the TV, now silently displaying the end of the Jabberwocky, the creature born of Annihilation Maker being consumed in a starburst of crimson light before taking a shaky breath.

"Those three, if they are who I'm assuming they are, are three of the stronger-if not _strongest-_ beings that were Human in existence. Even if it was you or any of the other Satans attempting to stop them..."

She fixes me with a wary look and quietly intones, "...I would give an advantage to the beings known as Heroic Spirits. Not a _certain_ result...but not one I can predict with any confidence."

...I feel my pride briefly rankle at the idea of me, Ajuka, Serafall and Falbium being _inferior_ to an unknown-

-before reality reasserts itself and I calmly take stock of the situation. Rias wouldn't undersell me without good reason...and quite frankly I don'tknow the first thing about these 'Heroic Spirits', or the specifics of their skillset.

So instead I put on a brave smile and tell the two younger Devils, "Alright, I'll keep all of this in mind. Azazel and I shouldn't be gone for long and we'll revisit this once we get back. In the meantime take a well deserved rest, I'll have some of my subordinates take a close look at this 'Fate' universe...as strange as that all sounds."

* * *

"So what are we going to do about this?"

Azazel looks at me out of the corner of his eyes and dryly says, "Hell if I know! I've seen some weird stuff during my time...but this is definitely one of the stranger."

"Assuming those people _are_ indeed from another universe..."

He chuckles at that.

"Well, it certainly fits the known facts...and boy does _that_ sound odd to say aloud. Shit, I better let Tobio know about this, it'll probably help him in his search a crap ton."

I just idly nod before letting out a massive sigh.

"Be honest with me, Azazel."

"Have I ever _not_ been?"

"I'm not gracing that with an answer. Do you think those 'Heroic Spirits' will be a threat to us?"

He ponders that for a moment before shrugging.

"Hope for the best and plan for the worst, as the saying goes. And you didn't mention anything about the guy who was involved with those three powerhouses to the kids."

"They have enough on their plate as is, they deserve at least a few days to relax, especially since a comrade they thought dead has now returned to them."

The Fallen nods and murmurs, "Fair enough..."

We continue on in companionable silence until a snort of amusement makes it's way past my lips.

"You should have seen the look on my subordinates faces when I told them their number one priority was to scan through wikipedia for the entire day, reading up on a _fictional universe's_ many bits of trivia."

Azazel laughs at that even as we step into the Transportation Circle, seconds away from making the jump.

"Never a boring day to be had in the Supernatural Intelligence community, is there?"

* * *

 _Unbelievable._

 _I've faced down other slaves fighting to the death before Aurelian himself, stood toe-to-toe against Dead Apostles and seen some of the most dangerous Phantasmal Beasts to roam the planet...and I've_ never _been this nervous before._

" _Horatius, relax, would you? You're going to wear a groove in the floor..."_

 _I glance at Kishcur, the Vampire grinding up yet another one of his jewels and carefully scattering the remains across the summoning circle he's got set up across the floor._

" _Easy for you to say...what if something goes wrong and the ritual fails? Or what if the Heroic Spirit isn't one-"_

" _Ok, gonna stop you_ right _there. 'If the ritual fails'? Are you mistaking me for some wet behind the ears Magus that doesn't even know which end of a protractor to use? And you_ can't _summon a Heroic Spirit that isn't suited to you, not with the connection you have through Irappu."_

 _Irritation is evident in his body language as he growls out, "So_ relax _already_. _You're gonna turn my hair grey at this rate. Well, greyer._ "

 _I force myself to take a deep breath and gratefully reply, "Thanks, Kischur. Beats me what I'd do without you..."_

" _Probably hang yourself in a closet or something along those lines. And don't go thanking me until we're_ sure _this actually works."_

" _...I though you said-"_

" _Cram it, nothing in life is guaranteed. And with that said I think we're all set to go, whenever you're ready."_

 _...Moment of truth._

 _I gulp down one last shuddering breath and step forward, opening my Circuits as wide as they can possibly go and channeling as much Mana as I can without combusting._

"Throne of Heroes, Gaia, Alaya...I need to borrow something."

 _At my improvised aria that I didn't_ really _need to say aloud the circle flashes, greedily devouring the supplied energy and with a flash that blinds me and noise that sounds like someone just set off a few pounds of dynamite-_

 _-A figure manifests amidst the magical residue, indistinct through the red, green and blue clouds that now coat the basement we used as our workshop._

…

 _It...it_ worked _...I can_ feel _the connection between us, somewhat similar to my one with Irappu but more..._ alive _._

Personal _._

" _Huh. Well how about that, Horatius. Did it work or did it_ work _-"_

 _A sudden_ SNAP-HISS _noise silences Kischur as an intolerably bright bar of light springs to life, shifting patterns of color in the shape of a sword clearly visible even through the slowly dissipating wisps of smoke and dust._

" _Ki...Ki vagy te?"_

 _The voice, a distinctly female one, sends shivers down my spine. Husky, with a Eurasian lilt to it...but the unmistakable hint of femininity and softness that's exclusive to the fairer sex is unmistakable._

 _The smoke clears and I feel my eyes widen as I_ recognize _this person._

 _Crimson eyes that focus on me with single-minded intensity, dusky skin adorned with lines of power and surprisingly soft and beautiful features, despite her chilling gaze._

 _A simple piece of white, embroidered cloth with black and red trimming that covers her chest and groin, two extensions flaring out and covering her thighs like a skirt._

 _A metal choker and diadem encrusted with red, green and blue gemstones that shimmer in the reflected light, creating an odd light flare that forces me to squint._

 _But it's the weapon and veil that I recognize the most._

 _Modeled similarly to a modern day wedding adornment, the veil drops to her knees and softly twists and turns with even the most minute of breezes...or it could thrash about wildly as it's wearer rides her horse into phalanxes of_ Palatini, _slaughtering them and staining the snow-white cloth with the ash of their disintegrated corpses._

 _And that blade...the_ Photon Ray _._

 _A relic of the God Mars, wielded by the progeny of the being that wreaked untold havoc on the planet more than ten millennia ago, mechanical in nature rather than esoteric...but none the less deadly for it._

 _Several hundred-if not_ thousand- _Roman soldiers could attest to that fact._

 _Personally._

 _Attila the Hun, in the flesh._

 _The irony of the King who once came close to bringing my homeland to it's knees being the one who answered my call is practically_ palpable _._

" _Ismét megkérdezem. Ki vagy te? Hol...Hol vagyok?"_

 _Her voice rapidly losing it's aggressiveness and sounding more than a little bewildered, she lowers the glowing weapon a fraction and fixes the two of us with a mildly puzzled glare._

…

 _Apparently that signaled Kischur that it's alright to come out from behind me, now that she's no longer ready to stab anything._

 _The big damn chicken…_

 _I take a steadying breath and calmly walk forward, barely unable to contain my rising excitement._

Finally _._

 _I come to a stop a meter away from Attila, the Photon Ray now mostly pointed at the ground...and extend my hand._

" _Helló, Attila. A nevem Horatio."_

* * *

Horatius

I wake up to the feeling of reclining on something soft and...nice smelling.

Like crushed herbs and a burning campfire…

"You are awake, Master?"

Letting my eyes slowly open I find Altera staring down at me with her usual nearly imperceptible smile, tribal cloths exchanged in favor of a simple white dress that goes down to her knees, upper thighs when sitting.

...Something I enjoy, seeing as that something soft I'm reclining on is her legs.

"Yeah, I'm up. How long was I asleep?"

"Only a few hours. You dozed off while reading."

I glance down at my chest and find a text labeled, _Geography of the Underworld_ splayed out in a spread of paper.

"...So it would seem."

I let my head fall back and heave an exhausted sigh, smiling in contentment as my first lifelong companion gently runs her fingers across my scalp and hair, quietly asking, "What were you dreaming of? You were smiling the whole time."

Chuckling, I gently brush her arm with my hand, enjoying the quiet moment of companionship.

"...It was one I'll never get tired of revisiting. When you and I first met."

Nothing more needs to be said.

...Unfortunately, there's still a daunting list of things that I need to take care of. Regretfully sighing I swing my legs off to the side and stand up, stretching out my back and neck while Altera gracefully rises to her feet.

"So where are the other two?"

"Scáthach is inquiring what time breakfast is served."

A contemplative expression crosses her features.

"I'm not sure where the Queen of Heroes is."

A sigh I have no control over escapes my throat as I mutter, "Well, let's just hope she's not off conquering the universe or something along those lines...And you _know_ I get all awkward when you call me 'Master' when it's just the two of us."

She adorably blushes and quietly murmurs, "Ah, my mistake...Horatius. It's a habit I'm not sure I'll ever grow out of. I was used to being a tool for so long...it feels strange to call you anything other than 'Master'."

"Well, we have no shortage of time to fix it. Although you'd think after a century or so of practice it'd be easier..."

Displaying a rare bit of embarrassment she demurely replies, "I will try, Ma-Horatius."

"And trying is half the battle."

"Mmm...Horatius?"

"Yes?"

"What are we going to do about being stranded here?"

My open palm meets my face and I wryly reply, "No idea. The Second Magic is _definitely_ not my area of expertise. Fucking Vampire...I hope we aren't lost in another world until the end of time just because he pulled the comedic equivalent of a putting a sticky note that says 'kick me' on my back..."

"Very true. If only you hadn't lost the jewel the Wizard Marshall gave us we wouldn't be in this predicament."

I blankly stare at her, an action she reciprocates...until I break out chuckling at her words.

"You've been spending too much time with the Queen of Ulster, Altera. Her brand of awful humor is rubbing off on you."

"Oh? She says I'm learning the basics of humor quite well..."

I gather her lithe frame in my arms, the Heroic Spirit leaning into me, and plant a kiss on her head before amusedly saying, "Well, it's a start. Give me a moment to wash my face and we'll see what Scáthach's found in the way of food."

* * *

"Alright, here's the rundown of where we stand."

Altera, Scáthach, Gilgamesh and I had convened in one of the meeting rooms the hotel we're staying at has to offer, a simple room with a table that could comfortably seat eight with a few couches set up alongside the walls and a projector that I _would_ be using if it wasn't for the minor inconvenience of not having a single electronic device to my name.

While I'm not like most Magus who deride the use of modern tech, I hadn't really bothered to bring anything with me when I figured it would be more of an extermination mission than it would be an extended 'vacation'. Thus, I'd been relegated to using the whiteboard and markers like some kind of techno-barbarian.

"Well, long story short, we seem to have been transported to a world where every single myth, legend and ghost story is real. Different realms, different Gods, different Magics...it's a melting pot of epic proportions."

"And now the question becomes sorting out which one is actually our foe."

I glance up at Scáthach, the warrior queen seated on one of the table's chairs and possessively cradling Altera on her lap, her usual attire substituted for a simple pair of jeans and dark red t-shirt.

"Aye, that's the rub. And, unfortunately, there's quite the list of potential troublemakers."

"You worry too much, Gladiator. It matters not what strength our foes possess, they will bow to our might all the same."

I flick my eyes over to where Gilgamesh is sprawled across one of the couches, gently swirling a glass of wine while several half-drunk bottles litter the floor next to her, her golden hair cascading over the edges like someone spilled a silk spool across the upholstery.

She's forgone her armor in favor of a simple white dress that looks like the precursor to a Toga...evidently unconcerned with the fact that she's flashing us with the way she's laid out.

Interesting fact, the Queen of Uruk apparently doesn't believe in the concept of underwear, but does in shaving.

Scáthach doesn't, while Altera is just naturally smooth-skinned.

…

Whatever, I'm getting off topic here.

"Quick overview then. The Underworld is where we're currently located, a realm that's often thought of as Hell. But instead of burning pits of lava and general unpleasantness, it's a world fairly similar to Earth, with architecture and geography not _too_ far removed from it's more 'mundane' counterpart. The residents, mainly Devils and Fallen Angels alongside like a bajillion other species, command powers that range from the mildly supernatural to completely batshit insane. And I say that as someone who's been around the proverbial block quite a few times. Thankfully they seem to be more or less on the level, borrowing much of their culture and power from Humans. Most recently, they seem to have reached some sort of peace accord with other major Supernatural powers."

I pause before letting out an exhausted sigh.

"...That's the _heavily_ abridged version though. Three days isn't really enough to do more than scratch the surface of what's recorded in some of the public libraries. Anything on your end?"

Scáthach shrugs and explains, "I looked up the term 'Longinus' and it's indeed named after the very same spear that killed Yahweh's favored son. But there's more to it. There are several things called 'Sacred Gears' and of the hundreds of varieties, the most powerful are referred to as 'Longinus'. Sacred Gears-and by extension Longinus-seem to operate similarly to Mystic Codes and Noble Phantasms. Powers, techniques and abilities that are exclusive to each Gear and are intrinsically tied with their host, activated by both the user's will and strength. The Longinus are said to be named such since they are capable of killing gods."

...Huh. Well isn't _that_ interesting?

Not done, she continues with, "One of the Longinus I found quite interesting, one called the Sephiroth Graal. Or, more accurately, the Holy Grail."

That causes me to snort in amusement.

Seems the Holy Grail is a constant no matter _what_ universe you end up in…

"Apparently this Longinus is capable of connecting to the very root of life itself, examining and communicating at will, along with a host of other powers. If we were to track down this user, we may be able to convince them to provide us with a list of potentially dangerous and active creatures."

I consider that before shrugging.

"Definitely an option, but doing so might draw attention to us when we don't necessarily need it. We'll table it for now. Altera? What have you got?"

The dark-skinned woman appears thoughtful for a moment, Scáthach leaning her head forward to rest on the her friend's shoulder before replying, "I watched most of the news reports on many different channels. They all seem to be saying the same thing. Something called an 'Old Satan Faction', alongside a 'Khaos Brigade' and 'Hero Faction' attacked the Devils and their allies using a Sacred Gear Longinus called Annihilation Maker to spearhead the assault. We intervened and allowed the Devils and their allies to crush the other attacks since the 'Jabberwocky' was dead. No one seems to know who the three of us are, there were no clear pictures or videos, and there was no mention of you at all, Master. Other than that there was little useful information pertaining to our mission."

"Alright, that's not bad news at all. Chances are good we won't have local law enforcement-or their equivalent-kicking down our door anytime soon."

Scarcely able to believe I'm about to ask this I turn to the Queen of Heroes and inquire, "Well? I don't suppose you found anything useful, Golden Queen?"

Distractedly swirling the glass of alcohol she replies, "I discovered disappointment. While made with a variety of fruits that simply did not exist in my world, the taste is decidedly... _average_."

I try to think of a diplomatic way to put this.

"That's...interesting?"

To my surprise the Queen just scoffs before idly replying, "You need not be so morose, Gladiator. I did some investigation of my own. It just so happened that I did so while finding a source of entertainment, as fleeting as it was."

Balancing her glass on a single finger, the wine within gently sloshing as she makes it eddy back and forth, Gilgamesh explains, "I met a rather ancient fellow at one of the wineries I visited, one who has been alive for quite some time and held no shortage of interesting stories to be told...a pity his life experience didn't transfer over to his knowledge of wines."

She stops spinning the glass and instead meets my gaze.

"There is a realm between the realms, a place this universe's denizens refer to as, 'The Dimensional Gap'. The way the gentleman explained it to me, it is a chaotic place that connects to a great many other worlds, quite potentially our own."

I feel my mood instantly brighten at that.

"Ah, so there _might_ be a road we can follow home. That's a pretty damn good find, Queen of Heroes."

A haughty smirk is my only reply and her voice is nothing if not smug as she replies, "But of course. Albeit, there is a caveat to this tale, one that _perhaps_ may pose a suitable challenge..."

I notice Scáthach eagerly perk up at that.

"Legend and myth has it that the Dimensional Gap is guarded by two beings of immeasurable power, ones that do not hail from this world. Great Red, a Dragon that draws it's strength from the hopes and dreams of uncountable living creatures...and the Ouroboros, yet another Dragon that is lent it's power by the void itself, fed by the universes that collapse after time immemorial has passed and they die a true death. Quite interesting foes, wouldn't you agree?"

…

"Abjectly terrifying is the word I would use, but then again I'm no Heroic Spirit..."

The Queen of Heroes snorts at that and reclines yet again onto the couch while I'm lost in thought.

Huh...I wonder if this Great Red or Ouroboros are the creatures that caused that black warning. It certainly fits the criteria, especially that bit where they apparently aren't from this world…

Well, for now let's just put them on the 'maybe' list.

I turn my attention back to Altera and Scáthach, asking, "So do you two have anything else to add?"

Scáthach shrugs indifferently while Altera quietly replies, "None, Master."

"Alright, let's take one more day to look around for info, specifically on whatever we can find about this Dimensional Gap thing. We'll figure out what to do after that."

They both nod and I'm about to haul my lazy ass out of the room and get back to reading-

-When all of the sudden the Queen of Heroes starts _laughing_.

And not some kind of condescending, arrogant laugh.

It's the laugh of someone caught off guard by such a spontaneous bit of hilarity that all they can do is break down in unrestrained mirth, the laugh of a child seeing such a novel bit of amusement that they don't know how else to react.

...It sure as Hell catches _me_ off guard, unable to stop the small smile that crosses my face as the Queen of Heroes starts coughing, obviously having trouble getting enough air.

Must be that Divine level of charisma.

...Makes me wonder which memory of mine she just ran across.

Scáthach shakes her head in bemusement and says, "You'll have to explain what has you in such good humor, Queen of Heroes. You appear one step shy of, as Horatius puts it, 'throwing up a lung'."

Taking a shuddering breath Gilgamesh manages to _mostly_ wheeze out, "T-they actually did it! What else can I do but laugh, Guardian? They did it and so much faster than I, their custodian, had possibly ever _imagined!_ Ha!"

Another bewildered glance between the three of us.

"Who did what?"

Finally seeming to get some measure of control over herself the Golden Queen amusedly replies, "Humanity. They have achieved the ability to travel among the stars, one short step away from achieving Çatalhöyük's fondest wish. A trait that not even the _Gods_ had been capable of. The Gods! Beings of divine providence and who's very whims could shape the face of the planet! Humanity, once no more than slaves to the whim of Divine Spirits, now surpass the very powers who once lorded over them! And in no more than four-and-a-half thousand years after my death, after _I_ paved the way for their ascension! What more can I do but laugh in both joy and amusement?"

...Yeah, this is getting kinda weird.

"Queen of Heroes, if you don't mind me asking...why are you so, well... _different_ than the King of Heroes? Aren't you technically the same person?"

Instead of being offended she seems to find my question priceless, gleefully staring at me and playfully admonishing, "Come now, Gladiator. I've seen your memories and you have all the answers at your disposal, you need only put them together."

I decide to take her word for it and lean back in my seat, running through what I do know of the Holy Grail, mostly pieced together through Kischur's occasional insights and my own limited understanding of the Grail's founding.

...For starters this Gilgamesh is more...well, basically she's not an asshole, from what little I've seen. Imperious and occasionally arrogant, sure, but she seems completely content in cracking jokes and helping us out, the complete opposite of what her male counterpart would have likely done.

In brief, she really _does_ seem like someone who would have once ruled the world, and brought Uruk and her kingdom to a point of incredible prosperity.

...So what's the difference?

I mean, the Grail was corrupted, sure...but Heroic Spirits wouldn't be instinctively evil unless they were influenced in some-

Oh...ooohhhhh.

Gilgamesh must have seen the moment of revelation on my face as she smirks and graciously announces, "Precisely. Unless your memories of the specifics of this 'Holy Grail' of yours are irrevocably incorrect...it's actually quite simple to understand why my counterpart was such a pathetic imitation."

Ouch. I can only imagine what it would be like to hear your own clone call you a 'pathetic imitation'.

"This Grail of yours, in order to facilitate the summoning of something as powerful as a Heroic Spirit, cut many corners and made many concessions in the process. Classes, Command Seals, a mandatory fifty year break in between wars...but it's the processes designed to help the _Spirit_ that caused the most damage. First, the information 'provided' to the Spirit."

She sneers, obviously unimpressed.

"What a _joke_. A uniform, impartial, unfeeling covering of the events that define 'modern' society. And a diatribe that was created by _Magi_ , at that. Do you think they had a positive outlook on the rise of technology, of the decline of Mystery? _Preposterous!_ Small wonder my counterpart was summoned with such a dim, materialistic and antagonistic attitude towards the world. And those ten years in which he wandered? No doubt he only found what he _expected_ to see."

She chuckles and takes a sip of wine.

"Only a man could be so shortsighted and emotional as to ignore their duty. Or perhaps he was just offended at being incarnated as something as limiting as an _Archer_. Honestly! Me! A _Bow Wielder!_ "

She lets out a hearty laugh while I just try not to feel offended at her slight towards creatures with an XY chromosome.

Then again, in her universe Ishtar would have been a man...so I can see where that bias comes from.

"But _you_ , Gladiator...you provided something _very_ different."

Her crimson gaze becomes mildly uncomfortable in it's intensity, not helped at _all_ by the friendly grin she's wearing.

"You have provided _context._ Context that spans _thousands_ of years. From the invasion of Hannibal to the striking of the Pontifex Maximus, from the building of the Great Wall to the crucifixion of Yahweh's prophet, from the burning of Jerusalem to the rebellion of the Goths. The building of Woodhenge and the beginning of Fimbulwinter, the First Crusade to the campaign of Genghis Khan. The signing of the Magna Carta and the Black Plague, Johann Gutenberg's inventions to Vasco Da Gama's sailing to India. The funding of the VOC and the settlement of the 'New World'. The writings of Isaac Newton and countless others, all the way to the creation of an artificial sun weapon that rivaled that of the _Gods_ and so _many_ others. You. Were. _There_."

She stands up, regally strides on bare feet to no more than half-a-meter in front of me...and _pokes_ me in the chest with one perfectly formed and manicured fingernail, a spirited smile upon her face.

"You saw the results of these history defining moments, saw the people who made them and talked to the commoners who were affected by them. You saw that for every villain, worthless plebeian, cowardly warrior and unintelligent fool there was one Hero, hardworking farmer, brave sentinel and genius inventor. You saw _progress_. You saw it's inevitable, unstoppable march..."

I feel more than a _little_ nervous and confused as she suddenly leans forward and places a _kiss on my forehead_ , leaning back with a soft look to her features.

"But most of all, you have confirmed to me that my rule wasn't for naught, that it had _meaning._ My life's purpose wasn't betrayed by the people I led and governed. Rather, Humanity has _exceeded_ my wildest expectations. _That_ is a boon I had never been so optimistic as to expect."

She straightens her back and her peaceful expression is instead replaced by a proud one.

"My garden no longer requires one to cull and plant...it merely needs one to guard against the weeds and pests."

With a bow of head that somehow manages to seamlessly mix honesty, playfulness and mockery she delightfully announces, "To that end, I would be most pleased if you were to aid me in _my_ quest."

I don't bother hiding my eye roll, now understanding that minor digs and jokes won't end up with me impaled on the end of a Noble Phantasm (probably) while Altera and Scáthach just smile in their own unique ways, the Hunnic King only bearing a slight upturning of her lips while the Queen of Ulster gives a throaty chuckle, happily replying, "But of _course_ we would be delighted to join _your_ crusade, Queen of Heroes. Welcome to our lovely _flokkr_."

With an unnervingly intense gaze and oddly excited smirk Gilgamesh huskily retorts, "The honor is _mine_ , Lord of Spirits."

…

Is it hot in here, or is that just me?

I don't get the chance to ask that question as Gilgamesh proudly manifests a Gate of Babylon, what looks like rather large finger or knucklebones falling out of them into her waiting grasp.

Decorated with ancient hieroglyphics depicting horses, sheep, goats and camels the world's oldest Queen regally announces, "Then as an _aliat-_ as the Gladiator would put it-allow me to yet again contribute to the cause and provide guidance."

She casts the bones onto the meeting table with a loud clatter, her lips curving upwards as she graciously informs us, "The knucklebones of a Dragon, decorated in the finest of paints and inscribed with Runes likely forgotten to time. These are no charlatans tricks, they will shed light on the path we should take."

"...Can they show the winning lotto numbers?"

Three pairs of eyes swivel towards mine, Altera and Scáthach looking exasperated while Gilgamesh can't seem to decide whether she should laugh or be offended.

"...You wish for my treasure, which can interpret and translate the very forces of _fate itself_ , to impart to you the winning conditions of a gambling competition?"

I shrug.

"How do you think I paid for this hotel? Hypnotizing doesn't seem to work all that great on Devils, I had to think on my feet and use a bit of Structural Analysis and Gradation Air to forge some bills. Although with no equivalent of Alaya or Gaia in this world, never mind all the ambient mana, I don't think they'll be going anywhere anytime soon. But that opens up a new problem. The IRS. Those people are like mundane Counter Guardians, just slightly more lethal and terrifying."

Gilgamesh doesn't seem able to figure out whether I'm being serious or not and instead turns to the fortune telling devices, me following suit.

Huh, now _that's_ interesting. The convex Horse is pointed towards Scáthach while the convex Sheep is directed towards the room's whiteboard where I'd written down most of the species who inhabit these worlds...at least until I'd realized there was something along the lines of hundreds and had quickly given up.

...But it's pointing towards my clearly labeled writing of 'Vampire'.

How about that?

The other two, the concave Goat and Camel, had fallen onto an open phone book when Altera had been debating whether to order takeout or not.

...The sign for great fortune. I've got no complaints, and even better…

"Well look at this, Queen of Heroes...it seems your fortune telling device took my side after all."

"Don't be ridiculous, Gladiator. The stream of fate wouldn't deign itself to answer your-"

Her jaw abruptly snaps shut and her eyes widen an almost imperceptible fraction as she notices what the Goat and Camel are pointing to.

Specifically, a telephone number that reads (666-195-4567).

Numbers that, with a little rearranging, could be the winning lotto ticket.

...I pretend not to notice the Queen of Heroes' narrowed eyes or downturned lips, only relaxing once she heaves a disgruntled sigh and dispels the bones with a wave of her hand, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like, 'Enkidu all over again...'.

I grin like a loon and openly suggest, "Ok, they were pointing towards 'Vampire' and Scáthach spent a lot of time researching Longinus, more specifically that one Grail type that could give us a hint. Taking into account the reading for 'Great Fortune' I think it's safe to assume we can head on out tomorrow for the Vampire's homeland."

Altera cocks her head and asks, "Master, we do not know where these Vampires are located, nor of how to leave this realm in the first place. How are we to do so without further study?"

I give the Queen of Heroes a winning smile, the golden-haired Woman merely crossing her arms and shooting me an irritated scowl as I happily reply, "We'll leave it up to fate, obviously. Especially since she seems to have taken a shine to me."

Scáthach laughs, gleefully saying, "Trying to rile up the Queen of Heroes? Horatius, I never knew you had it in you..."

* * *

Tobio Ikuse

"Ugh, remind me again why we have to go all the way to some hotel in the middle of this _huge_ freaking city?! Tokyo was never this bad!"

I have to hold back my audible sigh as Sae continues to grumble about our newest change in plans, unwilling to actually abandon the assignment but still wanting to vent about it.

And, of course, that means I'm the only one around to listen to her.

"Come on, Sae...Azazel-sama wouldn't send us on some wild goose chase unless it was important."

She gives me a deadpan expression.

"He _totally_ would."

"...Yeah, I suppose he _has_ done that in the past..."

Jin just gives a small bark of confirmation, my ever steadfast partner in his miniaturized form so as to avoid worrying the local population.

Most wouldn't be much at ease if they saw his far larger, more intimidating form stalking down the streets…

"See, Tobio?! Even Jin-kun agrees! And I bet Leo would if I could bring him out without freaking everyone out..."

"Ok, ok...I see your point."

Years of working alongside my oldest friend-who just recently became my girlfriend after an embarrassing set of events involving the rest of Slash Dog, the Grigori and Grauzauberer-has conditioned me to just roll with the punches.

It's certainly helped keep me sane over the years.

"...Anyway, why is our meeting place in a _hotel_ of all places? Shouldn't it be, I dunno, some kind of back alley or something? With lots of smoke, card games and gruff characters?"

"Even spies need a soft bed once in a while. And who would look for a spy in the most obvious of places, in broad daylight? Well, whatever passes for daylight down here, at least."

Sae falls silent at that but pouts regardless, resigned to our mission.

...She has a point though. The Devil capital city, Lilith, _is_ rather large. And matters aren't helped by the Marriott hotel we're meeting at being close to the epicenter of the place.

At least the city isn't fully occupied right now, the Bandersnatch attack caused most to evacuate and only now are the buildings being repopulated with their prior residents.

"Well...we're here. Think we'll find anything useful from this person?"

"Who knows? Those three unknown people certainly didn't leave much behind in the way of evidence."

Sae shifts uncomfortably and hesitantly asks, "You...you don't think they're like the Four Fiends, do you?"

I tamp down on the brief flash of anger that arises at the memories of that incident, instead sighing and reassuring her with, "I don't think so, Sae. And besides, even if they are Avatar-type Sacred Gears, they might be just like us."

She chuckles and intertwines her fingers with my own.

"We don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to Avatar-type Sacred Gear users, Tobio."

"True, but people with ill intentions likely wouldn't have bothered to interfere against the Jabberwocky in the first place."

She nods in acceptance before we put on our business faces, walking past the hotel's front doors and ignoring the receptionist's brief glance before she goes back to what she was doing.

Another minute of walking has us strolling into a common room of sorts, a large TV still displaying footage of the Bandersnatch's assault and the subsequent intervention by those mysterious warriors.

They certainly made an entrance…

"Oi, Slash Dog! Over here!"

Both Sae and I wince as our codename is practically shouted across half of the room, a pale faced man with effeminate features seated at a table not too far away.

Ok, I get that there's only one other person in the room, a tanned male with dark curly hair, but did he _really_ need to announce our presence like that?

Sae no doubt agrees as she annoyedly pulls out a seat and hisses, "What the Hell kind of underground cop _shouts_ out his confidants identities like that?! Are you insane?!"

The man, who I'm assuming is a Vampire or possibly Dhampire-if the pointed ears and sharpened fangs are any indicators-just smirks and idly replies, "The kind that's _good_ at what they do. And don't worry about tall dark and handsome over there, he's clueless."

To my embarrassment the man hears that and shoots back, "While I'm flattered, I have to decline your interest, being an _almost_ married man. And there _has_ to be a more polite way of saying that I'm new around these parts, other than implying I'm out of my depth."

Our contact just chuckles and more cautiously says, "See? No problem, he's been reading a book on Devil Culture and has almost no Magical signature whatsoever, probably just a Magician visiting the city for the first time on a pilgrimage or something."

...I want to say that's a little bit of an optimistic assumption to make...but I'm no spy.

Although it's interesting that the man spoke Japanese, even if it was with a heavy accent...

Instead I ask, "Our mutual benefactor wants to know if you have any information on our newest guests, they're our primary focus right now. So much so that they more or less kicked me out of the house to track down leads..."

The man snorts and replies, "You kidding me? I'm no miracle worker, Slash Dog. Three days to gather any sort of meaningful info is too much to ask when there's practically nothing to go on. You're better off getting in touch with others if you want to know about them...instead, I've got a different brand of unpleasantness to tell you about."

His face loses most of it's joviality and his words are now whispered.

"The Tepes and Carmilla Vampire factions are now entering a state of Civil War. On it's own, that wouldn't be too bad...but the Tepes faction faction was recently visited by someone we weren't expecting. Rizevim Lucifer."

…

What?

My shock must have shown on my face because the informant grimly nods, elaborating with, "I almost missed him but he must have been in a hurry, maybe it has to do with how quickly Bandersnatch was dealt with, I don't know. But he's been meeting with Marius Tepes behind closed doors...and I think it has to do with the Sephiroth Graal holder that they're now boasting about, one Valerie Tepes."

…

Double what?

"And you're _certain_ of this?"

"As certain as can be. I dunno what your Grigori masters want to do about this, but it's better that it get done as soon as possible. I have to get back, security is extra tight right now for obvious reasons and I can't be missed."

I barely have the presence of mind to nod distractedly, the man quickly leaving without a backward glance as I digest this latest bit of news.

...Vali is _not_ going to be happy about this.

Or maybe he will be, it's hard to predict what that battle-loving maniac will do sometimes.

Regardless, that leaves us in something of a tight spot.

" _We have to do something about this immediately_. That's what you're going to say, right?"

I sheepishly grin at Sae, resignation plainly etched across her beautiful features.

"Well, this _is_ rather serious. Serious enough that the three unknown warriors can wait. Sae, try to track down Azazel-sama and Lucifer-sama before they leave and tell them about what's happening. I'm going to depart for Romania immediately."

"No way."

"...Huh?"

She immediately scowls and I shrink back in my seat a little, Jin running behind my ankles and curling up into a ball.

"You think I'm just going to let you go and do this all on your _own?_ Forget it, Tobio. I'm coming with you."

"But our opponent is a _Super Devil_ -"

"Who can cancel the effects of Sacred Gears, so you're not going to be of much more use in a fight against that Lucifer than I will, remember? I'll send Brave Leo to track down our boss while we head out, got it?"

...I know a losing battle when I see it.

Sometimes.

Ignoring me, Sae manifests her new Sacred Gear, Brave Leo. A product of Grigori research and a replacement for her previous Leo after Jin and I destroyed it, it was built specifically for Sae's use and has many of the same characteristics as her old one...but instead of pitch black fur it has pure white, a change I approve of, it providing a nice contrast to Jin and I.

Her Avatar jumping out of the manifested Magic Circle, it's appearance shrunken much like Jin's and faithfully resting on it's paws, begins waiting for Sae's orders.

Quickly scribbling on a piece of paper Sae hands it to the beast and says, "Leo, take this to Azazel-sama and then return as quickly as you can, alright?"

The miniature lion nods and disappears once more into a Magic Circle, leaving just the three of us to begin our task.

"Ok, let's swing by Grigori headquarters and-"

"Um, excuse me? Sorry to interrupt, but could you listen to a request of mine?"

Both Sae and I look around in surprise at the sudden question.

The man who had been speaking to our informant scratches the side of his cheek in a sheepish manner before saying, "Sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear you might be planning on heading over to meet with the Vampires. This is probably gonna sound a little strange, but do you think I could come along with you?"

We're both instantly suspicious, Sae being the one to vocalize it with an incredulous, "Uh, ok, just _who_ the Hell are you?"

"Oh, my apologies! My name is Horatio, I'm a traveling Mage on something of a pilgrimage. I've been meaning to travel to Romania and observe Vampires and their powers for quite some time now, but could never quite find the opportunity to do so. If you're not adverse to it, may I accompany you? I'd be more than happy to pay and I'm certainly no traveling slouch, if that's a concern of yours."

...We have a great _many_ concerns, but none of them are those.

Sae merely scoffs and retorts, "Look, since you were _clearly_ listening in on us-"

"To be fair, you weren't exactly being quiet. Or subtle."

"-you should know Romania might not exactly be the _safest_ of places to visit."

The mystery man only shrugs and asks, "Why exactly would it be unsafe? I'm not going there to look for trouble, just a bit of observation and friendly conversation."

...It's taking a great deal of self-control not to sigh right now.

"Perhaps you don't know this, Horatio-san, but Vampires tend to be-"

"Complete assholes, yeah?"

…

The look on his face after he utters those words is interesting.

He looks _surprised_ , like he can't believe he just said that out loud. Which is more than a little strange, because it's no great secret that Vampires tend to look down on other species. Why would he so alarmed at having blurted that?

I glance down at Jin, curious what his reaction is-

-and just like that my decision is made.

"Ok, look here Mr. Mage-san, we can't just-"

"Actually, we would be happy to have you along. As long as you don't mind us attending to the occasional bit of private business, you're welcome to join."

Sae looks at me like I'm crazy while Horatio-san just grins and excitedly replies, "Conditions accepted! I appreciate this, Mr. and Mrs…?"

"Ikuse Tobio. And this is my girlfriend, Toujou Sae."

"Nice to meet you, Ikuse and Toujou-san. Meet you at the front door in an hour?"

"That's fine."

"Excellent! See you then!"

With that he purposefully strides off...while I try to ignore the heated glare Sae is sending my way.

"Tobio- _kun~?_ Can you kindly explain _why you did that?"_

...Ooh crap, I know that tone of voice.

Swallowing thickly I quickly explain, "Well there was a number of things, really...but mostly it was Jin's reaction. The entire time he wasn't growling, sleeping, or any of that. He was just watching over the guy's shoulder. _Intently_. Like there was something there. Something powerful."

Sae appears to consider that for a moment-

-before paling and hesitantly asking, "Y-you don't think he's..."

"The one we're looking for? All we know is that those three warriors were very powerful and disappeared without a trace after the battle was done. They had to go _somewhere_. And Lilith is the closest nearby inhabited city."

"Yeah...but, I mean, what are the odds we _just so happened_ to run into the _very person_ we were looking for? Who _willingly_ wants to come with us?"

A nostalgic smile crosses my face.

"No less than the odds of you and me meeting after so long when I thought you were dead. No less than anything else that happened during our introduction to the Supernatural world. No less than me managing to save you..."

She falls silent a that...before gently kissing me on the cheek and cutely muttering, "Well when you put it like _that_..."

Jin just gives a confirming bark, causing me to smile.

"Either Horatio-san is the man we're looking for or he's something else entirely, we'll find out in the end."

* * *

Horatius

 _"You can be rather daft sometimes, Horatius."_

I pout at Scáthach's words and retort, "Now just what do you mean by that?"

" _Come now, that slip about Dead Apostles being rather unpleasant company? We're fortunate that Vampires also seem to be rather impolite in this universe, or we would have raised more of their suspicions than we no doubt already_ have. _"_

"Ahh, now you're just being pessimistic. We're in _great_ shape!"

" _Only by dint of great luck, Master. Are you not the one that often advises children to not approach strangers so casually? An action you just engaged in?"_

"Oh c'mon, not you too, Altera..."

" _They are most_ certainly _justified in their exasperation, Gladiator._ _Your excuse of being a traveling Mage on a pilgrimage was_ laughable _. What if such actions were completely unheard of or not practiced in the slightest? You would have looked foolish, which in turn reflects upon me. And I do not appreciate appearing_ foolish _."_

I heave an exasperated sigh at Gilgamesh also joining in on the fun and don't bother justifying my actions...instead I smirk and reply, "It's fine, you three. And besides...we had fortune on our side, remember?"

Only a brief moment of silence greets me before two disgusted sighs echo throughout my head, a vague feeling of quiet resignation emanating from Altera as opposed to the vocal exhalations of the other two.

Nice to see I haven't lost my touch in annoying people over the years.

"Anyway, now that we have an hour before heading out, I think I'm going to swing by the supermarket we passed earlier."

" _What_ possible _reason could you have to visit such a plebeian location mere hours before we embark on the next stage of our quest?"_

I grin at the Queen of Hero's question.

"Well, obviously I'm going to buy a lotto ticket."

…

I can practically _hear_ the Golden Queen grinding her teeth together.

…

You know, I think Kischur was right about Gilgamesh being a fun addition to our team.

* * *

 **Can I just say the response to this story has been totally AWESOME?  
**

 **Well over a hundred follows and favorites just for one chapter, that's a pretty darn good opener by my standards.**

 **Anyway next chapter Rizevim, Marius and the Evil Dragons are in for a surprise, and that surprise comes in the form of excessive firepower. And a dude with a Dog that's also a sword.**

 **...Man I wish Tobio had been the protagonist of DxD instead of Issei...**

 **Hoo boy I am just _giddy_ over this coming bit :D**

 **Other than that feel free to drop a review or PM with your thoughts or feelings on things as they are, til next chapter!**

 **adislt: It's a bit after (or in between, the timeline of LN's is always a nightmare to suss out) vol 12 and 13, after Issei comes back from the shortest character death ever.**

 **AceBlazer007 - Harudere: Appreciate your kind words! I blame my grammar on reading books like _Lord of the Rings,_ _Starship Troopers_ and _Old Man's War_ during my freshman year of High School. I kinda just picked up on writing and different ways of doing so from those, at least to an extent.  
**

 **prototype gear: Appreciate your insight and suggestions, definitely ones that I agree with myself. But I figure over the centuries Zelretch has mellowed out a little, typically only reverting to his ass-kicking self when the situation calls for it. Personally I think Zelretch drunk himself into oblivion when thinking of the Kaleidosticks.**

 **"H-hey, you know what would be _awesome?_ If...if my walking stick could _talk._ "**

 **Years of regret.**

 **Guest: You nailed it. And I can't believe I forgot to specify that in the AN of the last chapter XD**

 **Kinunatza The Eternal: Come next chapter, that question will be answered a bit more definitively :D**

 **Gabriel790: It could be one among others, who can say? Well, I mean I can, I'm writing it...awkward silence ensues.**

 **: My Spanish is a little shaky but currently these are the only Servants and OC's I'm adding to the DxD universe. It will be them interacting with the DxD cast and next chap will delve further in to the consequences of the actions they'll be taking.**

 **Warlord of Chaos: Next chap will showcase that 'trouble' full stop, stay tuned :D**

 **Fateburn: The relationship between Horatius and his previous two companions, as well as with Gilgamesh, are events that I'll be exploring bit by bit each chapter, such as the flashback of him meeting Altera in this one. Can't have such interesting personalities and not do anything fun with them!**


	3. Supernatural Heist

Ch 3: Supernatural Heist

Marius Tepes

"Well how do you dooooo, Marius~! It's just been waaaay too long since we last met, right?"

This Devil's way of speaking will _never_ cease to annoy. A small price to pay for the heaps of research and techniques he's bequeathed unto me, a small price that's allowed me to embark on the steps that will give me the power of a _God_.

The power that will crown me as the ruler of the Vampires for all of eternity!

Thus, I merely offer a cordial smile and reply, "What brings you here so suddenly, Lucifer? I was under the impression you were not to visit for a few more weeks."

"Welllll some stuff happened with the whole, 'terrorize the lousy Devils who don't act like Devils' plan and it sorta fell through after some _total_ fun nazis crashed the party unexpectedly and I figured it was time to step up the timetable on this little awesome scheme of ours. What do you say, Marius old buddy? Can you start things a little early?"

...The assault on the Underworld failed?

"I can, but what do you _mean_ the attack 'fell through'? What with the amount of effort and time that went into it I would have thought it was infallible?"

"Yeeeaaaah that's what I thought to, but, oh well! Life surprises~!"

...No matter, with Lucifer at my side any among the Tepes or Carmilla factions that would deny me my right will fall.

 _Especially_ with the two Evil Dragons standing guard outside the castle. Crom Cruach and Grendel won't fall so easily. Although…

"Lucifer? Who is this little... _girl_ , standing by your side?"

The Devil chuckles and playfully says, "Lilith, say hello to Mr. Marius, he's a friend of mine."

Barely passing Lucifer's legs in height, clad in a dress more akin to our fashion and with odd, black eyes the girl monotonely says, "Hello, Mr. Marius."

"Good girl," Lucifer says with a snicker, handing the girl a piece of candy that she proceeds to devour with unnatural gusto.

"You don't need to worry about _anyone_ interrupting us, buddy old pal! I may have given her my dear old mother's name...but feel free to say hello to my very own personal Ouroboros Dragon!"

* * *

" _So, Attila, how are you enjoying New York so far?"_

" _It is perfectly acceptable, Master."_

 _I resist the urge to frown at her monotone words, frustrated at the lack of progress we've had despite working together for almost two decades at this point._

 _Oh, she's perfectly_ respectful _...but despite my constant efforts at convincing her that she can afford to have_ some _level of independence and freedom...she only thinks of herself as a tool, one without hobbies or opinions._

 _It_ hurts _, to see someone so convinced they're just an_ extension _. Something to be used when convenient and ignored until needed again._

 _Not that I have any intention of giving up._

 _Regardless, I can't help but chuckle at the looks she gets from the many passerby. While she's dressed in the fashion of 1920's United States, what with a pleated skirt, blouse and vest...her skin tone and eyes are most_ definitely _not the norm. There's an entertaining mix of racist, flabbergasted, curious and even a few lustful reactions from the crowds of America's most populous city._

" _Well we have some time off while Kischur is doing who knows what, anything you feel like seeing or doing? I hear the Statue of Liberty is quite the sight to see."_

 _A stoic nod._

" _If you wish to witness it, I would be happy to travel along, Master."_

…

 _Well, it's a start…_

 _I begin to easily stroll towards the pier-_

 _-and notice Attila briefly hesitate, her gaze traveling to a nearby poster that I instantly latch onto._

Roscoe and the Flying Dutchboys.

 _Well I'll be, that's one of the few remaining Vaudeville productions left, films have largely been taking over since they added voices…_

" _You interested in seeing that, Attila?"_

" _Oh, no that's fine, Master. You said you wished too-"_

" _I changed my mind,_ this _seems more entertaining."_

 _The briefly perplexed look she wears causes me to grin._

 _No_ way _am I letting an opportunity like this pass me by._

* * *

 _The light's flicker on and the audience, a surprisingly large one, applauds with no shortage of enthusiasm as Roscoe and his Dutchboys bow, the crowd beginning to file out while they converse about the show._

" _So, Attila, what'd you think? Was it to your liking?"_

 _Her crimson eyes seem to be more expressive than usual as she nods, what looks to be the beginnings of a smile upon her lips._

" _It was...I did not see many shows such as this when I was alive, if any."_

" _Well I think we can say this night was a resounding success then. If you want to, we can go see more productions like this in the future whenever we have a break."_

 _I don't miss the way she seems to leap at that offer-_

 _-before quickly reverting to her usual stoicism and hastily replying, "I would not wish to impose, Master. You already sacrificed one night to indulge your weapon's interest..."_

 _Heh, nice try, Whip of God._

 _But now I_ know _what you enjoy and by whatever Gods are still hanging around the globe I'm going to make sure you come to have a sense of self-worth._

" _Well then, why don't we swing by an ice cream parlor before heading back to the apartment? I think a little bit of dessert before turning in for the night can't go...awry...Attila?"_

 _An odd look of intensity on her face as she stares at the stage, uncharacteristically ignoring me, the Hunnic King takes a slow, hesitant step in it's direction._

 _And then another._

 _I remain silent, not daring to interrupt her concentration, the only other people in the room being a few stragglers and janitors who also start to stare at the curious women with exotic features as she, in a trance-like state, ascends the platform's steps._

 _Seeing her stand tall in the middle of the stage I find myself waiting with bated breath, completely clueless as to where this will go._

 _And then she sings._

"There's a saying old, says that love is blind. Still we're often told, 'seek and ye shall find'. So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind..."

 _Her voice...it's_ enthralling _._

"Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet. He's the big affair I cannot forget. Only man I ever think of with regret..."

 _I'll be damned...that's 'Someone to Watch Over Me'...her voice is a bit huskier and deeper than the original, with a far more pronounced accent...and I think it's_ beautiful _._

 _I don't know how long she sings, of how long I was standing there, enraptured...what I_ do _know is that once it ended it was like waking up from a dream, reality seeming to crash down with all the subtlety of a derailed train._

 _And we all begin to applaud._

 _Attila jerks slightly-almost as if she's surprised to still see us there-and quickly ducks her head before walking back to me, several of the others complimenting her on her skill as she does so._

" _No offense to Miss Fitzgerald...but I think I liked your rendition better."_

 _She just gives a quick nod, head still lowered as if in embarrassment and I can't help but ask, "Was that your first time singing? It was incredible."_

" _...I heard several of my soldiers and some of the women sing, on occasion. But, yes...this was my first attempt. My apologies for doing something so unneeded, Master."_

 _Wordlessly I reach into my coat's pocket and withdraw one of Kischur's many Mystic Codes, a cylindrical rod that can erase memories as needed._

" _Everyone, may I have your attention?"_

 _All eyes turn towards me and with a quick pulse of Prana the Code seems to brighten momentarily...and then confused looks dominate the theater, a few of the patrons shrugging before leaving the premises, the cleaning staff getting back to what they were doing without further comment all while Attila offers a mildly perplexed expression at my actions._

" _You said that was your first time singing, and, well..."_

 _I sheepishly scratch my cheek, not sure how to properly explain this as we leave the auditorium._

" _It's a bit childish and greedy, but I want your first performance to be something special, just for me and me alone."_

 _Attila meets my gaze, a blank look dominating her features...before she smiles slightly, a far more pronounced curve of her lips than any I've seen before._

" _I see. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Master."_

 _Breathing an internal sigh of relief I look back at the Heroic Spirit-_

 _-and in a brief moment of inspiration I gently take her hand in my own, marveling at the softness of her skin and lightness of her grip, despite knowing perfectly well she could bend steel in a heartbeat if she so wished._

" _Master?"_

 _Feeling a bit shy myself-a rare emotion for someone as old as me-I put on my best smile and ask, "How does that Ice Cream parlor sound? A great way to end a great night, don't you think?"_

 _She seems to consider this, staring at her fingers that are now intertwined with my own...and then she_ blushes _of all things, quietly replying, "Altera..."_

" _Altera?"_

 _This time she more confidently nods, a far more noticeable smile adorning her beautiful features as she does so._

" _Yes, my name. Altera. I like it more than Attila."_

 _...Two decades was_ worth it _, just for this alone._

" _Hello, Altera. A nevem Horatius."_

* * *

Horatius

A blink.

Then a second one.

And then I'm waking up from my recently imposed Dymaxion sleep cycle, a habit I developed when on 'assignments' for Kischur.

Steady sleep can be something of a rarity, surprise surprise…

" _Oh, you're awake. Good morning, Horatius. Did you sleep well?"_

I smirk at Scáthach's tone and jovially reply, "Why yes, I did."

" _Oh, well that's good for_ you _, now isn't it. I mean, since you actually_ can _fall asleep, what with being able to have a physical body and all..."_

"Whoah, someone woke up on the wrong side of the astralized bed this morning."

The Queen of Ulster just grumbles under her 'breath' and I chuckle before heading to the bathroom.

If there's one thing Scáthach enjoys, it's being able to physically sleep. Unsurprisingly, peaceful rest was hard to come by in the Land of Shadows-what with the dead being rather restless and all-and upon gaining a physical body after she had been freed from it...she had promptly taken a thirty hour snooze.

" _I just find it rather_ annoying _that we have to_ _remain this way. We are not even sharing a room with those two..."_

"C'mon now, you saw Mr. Ikuse's 'dog'. It was _totally_ sensing you when we first met. Not to mention it's _you_ three who are all over the news, not me. It's just safer to fly under the radar for the moment."

" _Master is correct,_ _Scáthach._ _Hounds are very perceptive creatures, the Romans made ample use of them during my sieges to sniff out ambushes and other such attacks."_

I can practically _hear_ Scáthach's eyeballs rolling as she dryly replies, _"Thank you,_ _Sister_ _. But you_ do _know I was merely bothering Horatius so that he feels bad about this and then attempts to make it up to me later, correct?"_

A note of confusion now in her tone the white-haired woman replies, _"Yes, but...I was also playing a part. Weren't you the one who said I was the '_ _straight man_ _' a few years ago?"_

" _...I did?"_

"She did?"

" _Yes, I believe it was nine years ago when_ _we_ _went with the Kaleidoscope to the 'WSWA' Convention. You got drunk rather quickly, Master, but the Vampire and_ _Scáthach_ _were still quite sober, even after the spirits competition. Rather amusingly, many were calling_ _Scáthach_ _a 'Spirit Hero' on account of the many drinks she handled with no difficulty. Unfortunately,_ _you and the Vampire were annoyed and he brought out something called 'Everclear' for you two to drink."_

My mind screeches to a halt.

"Sorry, you _did_ just say 'Everclear', right?"

" _I did."_

…

"Jesus, Scáthach! You and Kischur basically drank fucking JET FUEL."

" _It was most_ certainly _potent, after two bottles you both were behaving very strangely and randomly. Although you did agree that I was something called a 'straight man' and that I should keep doing what I was doing_ _and that was why you loved me_ _. It was a confusing statement, but I heeded your advice nonetheless."_

I'm just trying to process the fact that Scáthach and Kischur had _two_ of those bottles on hand and actually _finished_ them.

Scáthach sounds rather bewildered herself as she says, _"Goodness, I don't remember any of that...erm, Altera? Did I say anything else at that time?"_

There's a _loud_ silence and then the Whip of God somewhat awkwardly replies, _"Yes, you did. Perhaps you can ask me later...in private, perhaps? Some of the phrases that left you were...explicit? Even the Vampire was complaining about his 'virgin ears'."_

I just heave a sigh and decide to head down to breakfast before this conversation derails any faster than it already has.

The adventures of a drunken Scáthach and Kaleidoscope sounds like the kind of world ending antics Richard Wagner would have sprouted an erection over…

" _Lord of Spirits, you will have to drink with me over a glass of this 'Everclear'. It sounds truly potent, a test most worthy of the Queen!"_

Gilgamesh joins our dialogue for the first time and I resist the urge to slam my palm into my face.

"Queen of Heroes? While I respect your courage and...fortitude, I guess? You _do_ realize those two were basically drinking an IED in liquid form, right?"

An imperious chuckle.

" _And what better way to ascertain the true Queen among us? Come, Whip of God! You will join us and we shall have a banquet of Queens!"_

" _...Ok. That_ does _sound like fun..."_

…

Three of the strongest Heroic Spirits in existence, all of them _bibitur_ up to the eyeballs?

…

Fuck it, everyone says the world is going to end with a whimper, let's see it end with a drunken cackle instead.

* * *

"Good morning, you two!"

Both Sei and Tobio jump as I clap them on the shoulders, evidently not having heard me sneak up behind them.

"Horatio-san! We didn't know you were awake..."

"Well, now you do!"

With that I grab a bowl of cereal and flop myself into a chair opposite of them, pleasantly asking, "So what are you two going to be up to today?"

Tobio shrugs before idly replying, "Probably just finishing up some business outside of the Vampire's territory for now, tomorrow we'll see, depending on how today goes. You?"

"Eh, I think I'll just wander around for now, get acquainted with the locals and be back before it gets dark. No telling if any Vampires are gonna be out and patrolling after all..."

They both give me weird looks at that and I realize that _might_ have been more Dead Apostle behavior than it was 'Vampire'.

Regardless, they shrug and push back their chairs before Tobio politely says, "In that case we'll be on our way, we have a busy day ahead of us. Until later, Horatio-san."

"Alrighty, see you two later. Remember to use protection if you happen to get bored!"

They both stumble and turn red before hurrying out, my question obviously making them feel a little less that comfortable.

I spend a minute idly crunching on whatever brand of cereal I grabbed before quietly asking, "Well? Did the _Ljud_ Runes take?"

" _They did."_

I breathe an internal sigh of relief, glad that my act of grabbing their shoulders and imparting the Runes had gone unnoticed.

"Well, let's listen in then, shall we?"

I give a quick application of the very same Rune to my own ear, a brief moment of silence ensuring before-

 _[-ally told you that guy is suspicious! Jin and Leo think there's something off and he keeps saying all those weird things that are correct but also_ not _correct!]_

 _[I know that, Sei, but right now Horatio-san isn't our concern. Whether he's the wielder of those three or not...we can't worry about that right now._ _Rizevim and Marius working together doesn't bode well for_ anyone _, especially since the Bandersnatch being defeated probably threw off whatever timetable they had been working with._ _We'll check in with Azazel's contacts around the city and see what they have to say, we might get more details about Valerie Tepes and her condition.]_

 _[Hopefully those bastards don't do anything to her...you_ know _they'd probably love to extract the Sephiroth Graal given the first opportunity.]_

 _[Yeah...we know a thing or two about people taking advantage of_ _Sacred Gear users, don't we?]_

They fall silent and I dispel the Rune's effects, contemplating our next course of action after hearing this new bit of info.

" _Well it's certainly a good thing fortune_ was _on our side, because your attempt at deception didn't last more than a_ day. _"_

I let my head slam onto the table before me and heave out a long, suffering sigh.

"You three just _cannot_ let that go, can you?"

Gilgamesh's dry response is, _"It was a truly inspiring moment of failed acting, almost comedic in it's tragedy."_

"Well _that's_ probably the nicest way you can say I'm an idiot. Thank you."

" _Oh it was my pleasure. On a different note, Gladiator,_ _what do you intend to do about this newest development? Indulge my curiosity."_

I grab a few pastries on my way out of the breakfast area and thoughtfully reply, "Well with this new bit about these Rizevim and Marius persons-I think they were talking about them yesterday as well-I think we can safely say they're _not_ nice people. They also mentioned an Azazel they seemingly work for, the guy in charge of one of the factions that just joined the peace accords. Not to mention this Valerie Tepes is apparently the holder of that Grail imitation Scáthach was talking about. I think our path is clear. Get in, find this Valerie, have her locate potential threats for us, take things from there."

I close the door to my apartment room behind me, already tossing the pastries to a newly materialized Altera as Gilgamesh contemplatively wonders, _"I find it interesting that you would take such a direct course of action, given your desire to stay out of the public's eye for the past few days. Does the idea of an evildoer really aggravate you so?"_

A humorless smile makes it's way onto my face.

"Let's just say me and Kischur happen to agree on a few subjects, and that my time of wandering the globe has left me with a...bit of a short temper when it comes to certain types of people."

The Queen of Heroes doesn't reply aside from a pensive hum, Scáthach manifesting and quickly kneeling down before tracing out one of her many Runes.

" _Kompass_."

Upon her muttered command the Rune flares to life, twisting skeins of energy quite similar in design to a more mundane compass appearing in midair-

-where they snap with alarming speed to a single direction south southwest.

...Strange. The _Kompass_ Rune points towards wellsprings of raw Mana, but the only kinds of things that create _this_ sort of reaction are high-ranked Apostle Ancestors or extremely old and powerful Phantasmal Beasts.

Scáthach repeats the process one more time, just to be sure, but the result is the same.

"Well that settles it then. Were headed in that direction. Scáthach, about how far away was it?"

"Forty kilometers, give or take."

"Seems reasonable for a community of Supernaturals living outside the boundary of normal society. Alright, we'll head there now and get things started."

Finishing up the last of the danish treats in record time Altera nods before dematerializing, Scáthach grinning maniacally at the prospect of a fight while Gilgamesh asks, _And just what happens to be your plan for this 'rescue', Gladiator?"_

"Who said anything about a plan? We're just gonna knock on the front door, ask for this Marius Tepes or Rizevim guy and take things from there. It's not like we know anything about our targets or what they're capable of, so why bother strategizing?"

My only reply is the mental equivalent of a shake of the head, the Golden Queen nonetheless falling silent.

Sorry, Queen of Heroes...but we've been doing this for awhile and quite frankly we prefer to wing it.

Improvise, adapt and overcome.

…

Also bring along a healthy amount of bullshit.

* * *

"Ok, looks like we're here. Any last minute thoughts or ideas?"

I glance behind me at the three now physical Heroic Spirits reveals no dissenting opinions, prompting me to shrug.

"All right, here we go then."

With that said I jump down from the Vimana Gilgamesh had provided for us and start walking at a brisk pace towards the massive medieval castle that keeps giving off those gigantic Prana readings, calming myself and entering into a relaxed state of mind.

Heists are always nerve wracking...but undoubtedly the most fun way there is to screw someone over.

I will say though, I never expected to see a town of _Vampires_ coexisting just fine, complete with modern amenities and all.

That many Dead Apostles in one condensed area would have been utter bedlam.

"Oprire! Menționați-vă numele și scopul!"

I snap myself out of my thoughts as I realize I'd already meandered up to within shouting distance of the main gates, two guards adorned in 15th century Equestrian Plate Armor (sans the horses, for whatever reason) shooting me challenging gazes and speaking in what I'm assuming is Romanian.

A language that at one point I learned...and then forgot after four decades of having never used it.

"Hello there! Sorry for the sudden interruption, but you wouldn't happen to have a Marius Tepes and Rizevim on hand, would you?"

I don't miss the way they minutely flinch at my question, their next words coming out in heavily accented English.

"You have no stated business with these individuals! And you have yet to introduce your three concubines!"

...Concubines? How the Hell did he-

There's a brief flash of gold, the distinct _CRACK_ of a projectile being launched at excessive speeds and then the front of the castle _explodes_ , dust, brick and mortar being launched in every direction feasible and stunning the two guards, their expressions rapidly paling.

"...Itchy trigger finger much, Queen of Heroes?"

Her expression is thoroughly dismissive as she scoffs, "Me? A _concubine?_ The fool is lucky I find that statement as hilariously incorrect as it is insulting."

Her crimson eyes narrow as she silkily advises, "Now run along, _children_ , and bring to me the aforementioned persons. Or you may just find my magnanimity run dry..."

Both of them scramble inside the newly expanded entrance with a fair bit of panicked haste, causing the Golden Queen to smirk before turning towards me.

"Well, Gladiator? Why are you still dawdling here?"

I raise an eyebrow.

"Am I supposed to be somewhere else?"

"Yes, you _dolt_. We shall distract and engage our foes, you shall infiltrate the palace and retrieve this Grail woman."

"...While I appreciate your faith in my sneaking skills, I can't actually do that. I don't know any sort of concealing Magecraft beyond noise-cancelling and some other basic stuff, nowhere near enough to infiltrate a castle of flippin' _Vampires_."

With a regal grin she manifests a Gate of Babylon and retorts, "Then it is most fortuitous that my treasury holds an answer. Take this gift, Gladiator. It will hide you for the duration of a few minutes."

She tosses me some incredibly fine-spun cloak of what looks like liquid silk that I catch with one hand-

-and smirk as said hand disappears entirely beneath it's folds, a see through effect transpiring from where it used to be.

"Why thank you _very_ much, Queen of Uruk. I'll be on my way then."

She merely gives me a dismissive nod while Altera and Scáthach shoot me a look of understanding and excitement, respectively.

Leaving things at that I jog towards the entrance-

-and promptly throw the cloak over myself and dodge to the side, my not-all-that-impressive skills at sensing Prana painting me a plenty clear picture of the approaching threat.

Stilling my breath I stare at the entrance and wait for whatever is approaching to show itself...and have to hide my exhalation of surprise once I see the revealed figures.

The first is a grey-haired man who seems to be in his 40's, a permanent sneer and look of irreverent laziness etched onto his features.

The other two are...different.

One is a bipedal, dragon-lizard _thing_ that somehow perfectly conveys Human glee and violence despite the vastly different facial construction, malice rolling off of it in almost tangible waves.

The last is even more massive than the humanoid lizard creature, a towering Western Dragon with jet-black scales and twelve bronze-gold stripes adoring it's skull, patience evident in it's ancient gaze as it stares at my companions evenly.

…

Now that's an eclectically lethal mix.

I briefly cast a worried glance at my three companions-

-before reality reasserts itself and I swiftly sneak into the castle before they can sense me.

If there's any team capable of handling themselves, it's those three. I have a job of my own to do.

* * *

Scáthach

Well, it seems Horatius made it inside with little difficulty. The Queen's vault of oddities is quite useful indeed…

"Well I am just _flattered!_ Just whatever did I _do_ to attract the attention of three lovely young ladies such as yourselves? And in such a hurry, too! You gotta remember, these good looks don't tell the real story, I'm an old man and I can't be running ragged across big ol' castles, now can I?"

Oh lovely, a comedian.

If it wasn't for the obvious signs of power emanating from the man I'd have mistake him for a slightly touched in the head geezer…

"Less than a minute and I find your attempts at playing the jester tiresome. Save us both time and air by holding your tongue, mongrel."

If the momentary furrowing of the grey-haired fellow's brow is any indicator he's not used to encountering someone that quick to shoot down his happy-go-lucky act.

Still, he rallies himself rather quickly and offers an unapologetic smile, his tone suggesting he's talking to a rather slow child.

"Aww, kids these days are _so_ quick to get all offended and everything! But it's ok, Papa Rizevim understands that you _clearly_ don't have a clue who I am, or you wouldn't be acting quite so much like a cheeky little brat~!"

Excellent, if we can keep the madman monologuing for as long as possible that will allow Horatius time aplenty to-

-apparently not do anything as several of the Golden Queen's gates manifest and launch a flurry of Noble Phantasms at the trio opposite us, a shockwave of dust and masonry marking her displeasure as the treasures impact and it takes no small amount of effort on my part not to sigh.

" _Gilgamesh, darling?"_

" _Desist with the cute nicknames, Witch of Dun Scaith."_

" _While I understand your dislike of that man and his aggravating words, it would have been far more efficient to have him ramble as long as he was willing, affording Horatius time to find our quarry with as little strain as possible."_

I cast a significant glance at the slowly clearing debris cloud, revealing that the front of the castle was largely destroyed in the attack.

" _And was it not somewhat dangerous to cause such widespread destruction while he was still inside?"_

" _Have faith, Lord of Spirits. I know_ exactly _where my treasures are and can keep track of them with ease. The Gladiator was well away from my assault. And what is there to worry about? Does he not have access to a functionally unlimited wellspring of power?"_

I trade a worried glance with my Sister of battle, the same thought no doubt running through our heads.

Does the Queen of Heroes not understand the limits Horatius has?

Unfortunately we're not afforded the time to explain, our three targets slowly drifting into view as a gust of wind clears out the leftover dust.

The two Dragons are entirely unmarred, the Phantasms evidently not having enough of a punch to them while the grey-haired man has several bat-like wings sprouting from his back that grabbed the weapons mid-air, stopping them cold.

Ahh, so he's a Devil.

And he looks less than happy, his fake good cheer being replaced by an ugly facsimile of joy.

"Ooh, I recognize this power! So _you_ three are the cunts that threw a big ol' spanner in my super duper plan~! Well that's just _great!_ Grendel, Crom Cruach and I can now get in a little practice at mischief and mayhem and unthinking violence before we go take a little field trip in another world, doesn't that sound _fun?_ "

Altera and I share yet another significant glance.

Another world? Either this man has severe delusions of grandeur...or he's a potential instigator of the black warning the Kaleidoscope told us about.

Just to confirm, Altera tilts her head in that adorable manner of hers and asks, "What do you mean by 'another world'?"

Unfortunately the irritating man just wags a finger and condescendingly replies, "Ah ah ah~! I already gave you a hint you don't really need in the first place! I mean, after all..."

Twelve wings burst from his back and the already heavy amount of Prana-or at least it's equivalent-in the air intensifies even further.

"Dead girls tell no tales~!"

A moment of silence passes between us-

-and then Gilgamesh openly laughs, her condescending tone outstripping the Devil's in it's haughtiness.

"Very well, _Little Man_ , let us see how you and your pets stand up against Demigods. Personally, I expect little from one as talkative as you. Mutts that bark the loudest often have the weakest bite..."

The Devil openly scowls while the bipedal Dragon furiously snarls and, somewhat unexpectedly, speaks.

" **We'll see how loud** _ **you**_ **bark when your legs are in my stomach,** _ **Wench!"**_

A Gate of Babylon manifests and disgorges another Vimana, the three of us lightly leaping atop it as the Golden Queen offers a _truly_ impressive smirk and retorts, "Then feel free to display your prowess, mongrels...offer us a bit of amusement less deadening than your words have been."

With a burst of acceleration the aircraft takes off, me and Altera not bothered in the slightest as the rather violent Dragon roars in anger, the three of them rapidly chasing us in a mixture of flight and leonine bounds.

"You seem to have a talent for riling up others, Golden Queen."

A sudden roll that causes the world to tilt brings us out of the way of a beam of some kind of condensed Prana fired by the Devil, Gilgamesh all the while unconcernedly explaining, "I had no shortage of practice when conversing with the Gods. And you may now rest easy, Lord of Spirits. Am I not bringing the battle away from our precious 'Master'?"

I would prefer to explain why the three of us fighting at our full strength can take a noticeable toll on Horatius, if he isn't in a position where he can negate the effects such large amounts of Prana traveling through his Circuits...but the time for that has passed.

Now we just merely need to finish things as quickly as possible.

An anticipatory smirk crawls onto my face.

And have a little _fun_ while we're at it.

* * *

Horatius

Left, right, right, up, left, down, down...hit a dead end, curse whoever designed this damn _monster_ of architecture and then backtrack.

Not for the first time in my life-in fact I just bemoaned this not more than a minute ago-I wish I was better at sensing the emanations of Prana and other such forms of mystic energy.

I might not be so laughably _lost_ then!

The sound of tense voices has me instinctively pressing up against a nearby wall, despite the fact that this cloak Gilgamesh lent me has been doing a pretty bang-up job so far. Straining my ears I start to make out individual words-

-and inwardly sigh in disappointment.

Still more Romanian being spoken.

Thankfully I can watch the group of four-all of them clad in those ornate suits of armor-argue in person and their repeated points down a nearby hall alongside the words, 'Marius' and 'ritual'.

…

I'm assuming the word 'ritual' sounds the same in Romanian as it does in English, and not 'bathroom' or something along those lines.

Still, it's the best lead I've got so far.

Quickly sidling past the arguing group I descend the stairs four at a time, eventually running up to an ornately carved door that I can sense is hiding several Prana signatures, despite my lackluster skill in the area.

This must be it.

A quick examination of the door itself doesn't give me much in the way of details other than it's heavily warded with a variety of spells that _look_ similar to Bounded Fields...but aren't.

That's more Scáthach and Gilgamesh's field of expertise.

As if on cue, I feel more energy pulse through my Circuits as the three Spirits outside no doubt begin to battle.

No time to be subtle then, I need to finish my side of things before I have to start fully supporting those three _and_ powering my own Magecraft.

 _Take sulfuric and nitric acid, made from the base of oleum and azeotropic-_

 _-combine with an ester, cool mixture of glycerol with cold water-_

 _-pack into absorbents and antacids, cover with cardboard-_

 _-blasting cap attached to thirty centimeters of fuse-_

 _-the AECI factory, boxes upon boxes of explosives-_

If there's one area of Magecraft I can happily say I'm _pretty_ damn good at...it's Gradation Air.

In between wandering the globe for two millennia and change, as well as bearing witness to every single technological advance since my time...I can create pretty much anything less 'complicated' than electronics and Mystery (those things are bloody nightmares...so many damn individual parts and concepts).

And the best part is that it's _cheap_. Most Magi attempt to recreate Mystery using Gradation Air, an expensive and exacting process that requires so much prerequisite knowledge that it'd be easier to just obtain the damn thing in the first place.

Creating something as 'mundane' as a bundle of dynamite is easy if you have an understanding of chemistry and understanding of where said objects come from.

Thus, twenty-four individual sticks of the explosive manifest in front of me and I rapidly place them against the door, the fuses tied together and rapidly being lit with a quick application of fire Magecraft.

I hurry around the corner and rip off the cloak, shoving it into my shirt and hoping that it doesn't get damaged in the ensuing melee.

Stealth isn't gonna last me long here...and I doubt the Queen of Heroes would be all that enthused to learn I busted one of her treasures when I didn't really have to.

3...2...1-

 _BOOM!_

The floor beneath me seems to _jump_ but I don't pay it any mind, sprinting towards the newly created opening even as a wave of dust and ash billows outwards.

For my next trick…

 _Magnesium created from the embers of a dying star, mined from the Earth's crust-_

 _-potassium nitrate, harvested from bat poop, used to oxidize-_

 _-aluminum and cast steel, perforations made to allow for escaped sound-_

 _-The BAE Systems sponsored factory in the United Kingdom, assembly lines of weaponry-_

Knowledge flowing through my brain and a quick pulse of Prana has two stun grenades materialize in my hands, a rapid flick of my wrists pulling out the pins and chucking them through the entryway.

Ok, moment of truth here…

Clapping my hands over my ears and opening my mouth I feel the grenades detonate, a sort of physical 'slap to my everything' sensation that hopefully keeps whoevers inside the room off balance for just a few precious seconds.

And then I apply Reinforcement to _every_ part of my body, a process most Magi would no doubt consider to be the height of hubris.

Reinforce the brain to improve cognitive processing ability? You're more likely to give yourself an aneurysm all across your skull, or cause said organ to lethally swell in response to the stress.

Enhance your nervous system to increase reaction time and responsiveness? Hope you have a feeding tube ready, because odds are fair you're going to rip apart the very nerves you're trying to improve.

Upgrade your lungs and heart to increase stamina? More likely than not you just collapsed those organs and are now asphyxiating, either due to a lack of air or a lack of blood (which is kinda the same thing, but whatever).

But I can make it work.

While my physical body is still very much that of a Humans, my merging with Irappu changed it in a very fundamental way, a reformation that I was intrinsically tied to.

I _know_ my body, and can thus cheat a little bit.

Time seems to slow down _just_ a bit, details become sharper, my senses pick up more information than before and once I clear the dust cloud of the destroyed entryway, I take in everything at a glance.

A real esoteric looking room, candles and tomes decorating the walls while some sort of sacrificial altar resides in the middle of it, a young woman laid atop of it while surrounded by a Magic Circle.

Nine other figures spaced equidistant around it, one of them clad in some sort of medieval nobles outfit while the other eight have the same suits of armor I've seen others around here wear...and all of them are shakily getting to their feet, shaking heads in an obvious attempt to fight off disorientation.

All the time in the world.

 _Tempered steel forged in the_ fucina's _of the Vatican, masterfully tempered by_ fabbros _-_

 _-Rites of Providence made incarnate, a shield against the Heretic-_

 _-Evil falls before their might, the soul granted no sanctuary-_

Six individual Black Keys manifest in my fingers, one of the few _true_ Mysteries I can form with Gradation Air.

Several centuries ago, when I had been aimless and seeking companionship, I'd run across several Dead Apostles both by choice and by accident. After more than a few close calls I'd realized I would need some kind of reliable insurance against them, given my limited repertoire of Magecraft.

A relatively 'open minded' sect of the Church had been _happy_ to trade my knowledge on these Apostles in exchange for the 'blueprints' of a Black Key, both parties going their separate ways afterwards in a rare display of an upheld bargain.

Let's see how these do against this universe's version of a Vampire, shall we?

I windmill my arms downwards, six keys being released with an audible buzz noise as I throw them with all I've got-

-and they neatly perforate two of the guards despite their masterfully crafted armor, knocking them away in uncoordinated tumbles due to the transferred force that would have toppled a charging Bull.

Two more Vampires are skewered by three Keys apiece but by then the rest are back on their feet, the nicely dressed Vampire shouting, "Omoara-l!" as they charge.

Crap...even with sped up reactions they're _fast_.

Well, 2000 years of on and off fighting against a variety of foes gives you an interesting repertoire of strategies to work with.

The first guard comes in with a horizontal swing of his broadsword, clearly aiming to knock my head off my shoulders-

-and I dart beneath the blow, slamming my hip into his and latching onto the underside of his helm with my fingers, an improvised hangman's throw-

-that cleanly separates the vertebrae in his neck with an audible _pop_ as I yank him over my shoulder and into the ground, his body limply bouncing once before twitching into stillness.

Funny thing about armor, it doesn't keep your limbs from stretching in ways they're not _meant_ to be stretched.

All the same, that move leaves me in an awkward crouched position as one of the Vampires sends his claymore tearing for my spine, taking advantage of my 'vulnerability'.

 _My shield, interlocked pieces of_ _fir and leather-_

 _-An Umbo made of iron, handy for pummeling-_

 _-The coat of arms, that of the She-Wolf, my symbol of the games-_

An unadorned _Scutum_ manifests, draped across my back as it absorbs the blow from the Vampire's blade, the shock enough to break my back if I hadn't reinforced my body.

As things stand, all it really does is splinter the shield and jar my teeth.

Kicking off the ground I leap towards the 3rd Vampire, the creature momentarily flinching in surprise at my speed and durability from what _should_ have been a crippling blow.

That moment costs him.

The crook of my right arm wraps around his helm, left hand grasping my right wrist in a figure-four headlock-

-that twists his head a good 135 degrees as I yank on my arm, a wet _crack_ signifying his broken neck and his body goes limp.

Not letting go of the corpse I whirl it around in a macabre facsimile of a waltz, the 4th and last attacking Vampire running his buddy through with a spear instead of me. We have time to briefly gaze at one another, faceless helm to my lightly smiling one…

 _Stainless steel, six kilograms and 55 centimeters-_

 _-15.7 mm, 58 g, three loadings of cordite-_

 _-The symbol of the She-Wolf, patterned in gold along the handle-_

 _-Custom made, the exchange of one favor for another-_

In a subdued flash of light an enormous Pfeifer-Zeliska .600 Nitro Express manifests in my hand, aimed directly at the Vampires helmed face. A weapon that I _personally_ bought and helped make, just like my shield.

A quick squeeze of the trigger-

-and the shock of the firing hits me like a punch to the mouth, the enclosed space we're in creating one _Hell_ of an acoustics chamber.

The Vampire doesn't stand a chance, the bullet piercing his helm and exiting out the back, causing his noggin to jerk back and forth like a bobble-head as a variety of fluids and skull bits exit the gaping holes in his armor as a fine mist.

 _Very_ dead _._

Thank Aurelius my wrist was reinforced or firing _this_ monster would have broken it no problem.

The last remaining guard-the one who'd gotten his sword blocked by my shield-is evidently too shocked at the sudden turnaround to do much of anything-

-and pays for it as I let go of the corpse and send three Black keys digging into his chest, a pained wheeze escaping him at the sudden blow.

Eight down, one to go.

The Noble looking fellow backs away from me in a panic, jabbering something in Romanian that _sounds_ like it has to do with the Grail...but doesn't really tell me much since I only catch like one in every eight words.

So instead I manifest six Black Keys and nail him to the wall with them, a gurgle emanating from his throat at the action.

Not wasting any more time I throw one Key apiece into the Vampires that I disposed of through more 'mundane' means. If they're anything like the Apostles back home they'll be up and at em' in no time with wounds those plebeian.

" _The Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a blazing fire from the midst of a bush; and he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not consumed._ Cremation Rite _."_

Crossing myself I finish the incantation and with a blaze of white fire the Vampires disappear, burnt to ash so swiftly that I doubt they even had time to comprehend that things were getting rather warm.

...All clear.

I let out a sigh-

-and immediately wince as I feel my body heat up, the demands of keeping the three Heroic Spirits fighting at peak performance making itself known.

Judging by the intense concentration I'm sensing through our empathetic link, they're in the thick of things full stop.

Time to leave.

Jogging over to the woman on the altar I take a moment to examine her, somewhat thrown off by her...attitude?

She's quite beautiful, no doubt about that. Pale, smooth skin with honey-colored hair and red eyes...but there's something about her vacant gaze, despite the pitched conflict that had just occurred around her, that makes me wonder if she's all... _there_.

"Oh, hello...may I ask who you are?"

I do a double-take as I realize she just spoke to me in _Japanese_ of all languages but quickly reply with, "My name's Horatius. You're Valerie Tepes, I'm assuming?"

"Hmm...I _think_ that's who I am..."

…

Well _that's_ not worrying in the slightest.

I don't have time to ponder her slightly crazy attitude as she looks over my shoulder with a friendly expression and says something in...Hebrew? No, it sounds _older_ than that….crap, I should probably start brushing up on my languages if this is gonna be a regular occurrence.

Thankfully she seems to snap out of her brief moment of... _whatever_ and cheerily says, "Well it's very pleasant to meet you, Horatius-san. Samuel-kun says that I can trust you and that you'll bring me to see Gasper-kun after all this time. Samuel-kun is rarely ever wrong, he's a _very_ good Prophet!"

...I think I'll hold off on my myriad of questions for now in favor of getting the Hell out of here.

"That's nice to hear, Miss Valerie. Here, jump on my back and don't let go, I'm going to be moving fast."

Without complaint she locks her arms together around the front of my throat with surprising strength...and then I kick myself for forgetting that of _course_ she's stronger than she looks, she's a Vampire, _stultus_!

"Horatius-san, do you have a fever? You seem quite hot..."

Crap, I must be channeling more Prana than I realized if the scatterbrained girl is concerned about my health…

"I'm fine, now hold tight."

And like that I'm off and sprinting through the fortress, retracing my steps as best I can and tilting forward at the waist so I don't end up counterbalanced by having the Tepes girl cling to me.

…

Not that there's much to counter though, she barely weighs 47 kilos, if that.

I'm briefly startled out of my thoughts as I hear said girl mumble for a second, her voice blissfully cheerful as she advises, "Horatius-san, Samuel-kun says you should watch out on our right."

"What do you-"

A burst of Romanian that I feel safe in assuming translates to 'there they are!' sounds out exactly where the Vampire hanging off of me said it would, four more armored soldiers running full tilt in my direction.

Great.

 _Sheet metal construction, solid pieces fit together at an assembly line-_

 _-belt fed, NATO cartridges being the common choice-_

 _-Modeled after the Dreyse Needle Gun, a locking bolt firing mechanism-_

 _-Rambo looked like he had fun with it, why not me?_

An M60 comfortably lands in my outstretched hand, 200 rounds manifesting with it and without bothering to aim much I unload down the hallway, one of the guards folding over as the rounds _slam_ into him while the other three duck around a nearby corner, the roar borderline deafening if I wasn't reinforcing my eardrums.

Regeneration or not, I know of _very_ few beings who think being shot to pieces is _fun_. Hell, even Kischur prefers to not get perforated if he can avoid it and he was turned by _Crimson fucking Moon_.

My delaying tactic in full effect I create another stick of dynamite before chucking it at a nearby wall, giving up on sneaking through given the racket I'm making.

With a loud _bang_ that momentarily outdoes the machine gun a portion of the wall crumbles away, providing a convenient route outside of the castle.

Casting away the gun and whipping another couple stun grenades around the corner where the Vampires are hidden I leap out the improvised window, falling at least ten meters and landing hard on reinforced limbs.

" _Altera,_ _Scáthach,_ _Gilgamesh! I'm all clear on my end, let's get out of here!"_

…

My mental shout goes unheeded, only vague impressions of a hard fought battle and the ever increasing draw of Prana through my rapidly heating Circuits being my reply.

...Shit.

I trace back the connection and glance at where the three of them _should_ be at-

-and find myself instinctively paling.

An enormous ball of _something_ that looks and feels like raw Prana dominates the skyline, even from kilometers away.

What the hell are they _fighting_ against?!

No sooner do I think that the ball descends, a massive Gate of Babylon forming to meet it-

-and what I recognize as the _Pushpaka Vimana_ , an oversized version of the more fighter jet sized one as large as a small city, clashing against the ball head on, panes of green energy forming a makeshift shield and after that I can't see a damn _thing_ since the glare intolerably bright.

Dammit, if only I could take a moment to properly cool my body down and provide them with a workable amount of energy to keep fighting…

After the light dies down I hurriedly glance back...and find the monstrous aircraft listing badly, the front half of it practically melted down to component slag.

 _Jesus_.

" _Hey, one of you three fucking_ answer _me-"_

My mental message cuts short as I see a single light detach itself from the dying ship, a glowing star that arches overhead...and then streaks downwards with increasing speed.

…

Much like a modern day ICBM would.

...

Ohhhh _SHIT_.

* * *

Scáthach

(A few minutes earlier)

Had someone told me before we traveled to this realm that Altera, the oldest Queen of the world and myself would be fighting against a Devil incarnate, aided by two Dragons (one of whom was supposed to have only existed in an old tale that came 500 years after my time and the other a _God_ of all beings…), well…

It would not necessarily have been the _strangest_ thing to happen to us, but it's close.

" _On your_ _back_ _, Sister."_

My non-verbal warning to Altera is promptly heeded as she leaps backwards, her veil briefly brushing up against mine as we seamlessly rotate around each other's bodies-

-and the sudden shift in momentum brings our weapons into the path of each Dragon's talons, my spear meeting Grendel's wild swing and Altera's Photon Ray impacting Crom's accurate blow.

And it _stings_.

If I remember the legend correctly, Grendel had some sort of enchantment that protected his skin from weapons, an effect that still seems quite relevant, given the way my Gáe Bolg bounces off it's hide and nearly jars my shoulder from it's socket.

...When was the last time I had this much _fun?_

" **Hahaha! Something the matter, girlie? Your little stick doesn't seem to be working too well!"**

A smirk makes it's way onto my lips as the Dragon makes another horizontal sweep of it's talons, a lazy move that lacks proper technique. Thus, it's a simple matter to lightly jump upwards, alighting gracefully upon the creature's arm before sprinting towards it's head, Primal Runes adorning my armor flaring to life as I transfer Prana to them.

I take a moment to savor the flummoxed expression the Dragon wears-

-before swinging my leg in a flying back kick that Horatius taught me, the point of my heel impacting right at the base of it's jawline with a _most_ satisfying _CRACK!_

A swift shoulder roll as I land on the ground diffuses what little impact there was to be had, a mild ache in my leg _well_ worth the sight of the creature staggering back and forth, the lower portion of it's jaw hanging loose and flopping about.

" **Y-you...that...ha...haha...hahaha! Ooohhh! It hurts so goooood~! Give me moooore!"**

…

Oh lovely, it _enjoys_ pain.

All the same, it's rambling allows me a few precious seconds to observe how my companions are faring.

Altera has her teeth gritted in a rare display of effort, her weapon and muscles straining against the massive paw of Cruach, the Dragon doing it's best to crush her into the ground...which neither seems to have noticed is rapidly giving way beneath their feet.

An understandable position though. While Cruach may lack in any sort of enchantments, it's scales are frightfully durable and it fights like a stalking tiger, quick and powerful with it's blows.

Gilgamesh and the Devil's battle is easily the most destructive.

Golden portals fling numerous weapons in wave upon wave of destruction, each Phantasm being met by some form of condensed Prana created by the Devil, dozens of explosions rearranging the landscape around them every second.

And through it all the Queen is striding forward, poleaxes and other such heavy weapons dropping into her hands as she bashes aside her opponents wings, the bat-like appendages writhing and striking like snakes...with the power of a Dragon behind them.

Yet for every shattered weapon a new one drops into her palm near instantaneously, her advance never halting nor diverting in the slightest.

All in all, easily one of the most entertaining bouts I've had in a _long_ time!

But there is one caveat, one that worries me.

Horatius has yet to contact us, meaning he is still in the process of finding the Graal wielder...and all the while is no doubt straining his Circuits to keep us properly supplied. Were he in a position where he could simply sit still and regulate his body's temperature, I would hold no concern...but this not such a scenario.

We need to conclude this as swiftly as possible, or create an opening to escape and delay the battle further.

" _Gilgamesh, dearest?"_

" _I believe I told you to cease with the nicknames, Lord of Spirits..."_

Her voice is terse and to the point, an indication that her battle is quite the intensive one.

" _You wouldn't happen to have a weapon among your treasures that can slay Dragons, would you?"_

She makes no reply but a Gate of Babylon nonetheless drops some sort of unadorned spear into my hand, the weapon appearing more like a fisherman's choice of pole than it does a wyrm-slayer.

" _The Reed Spear, used to kill Kur. That should suffice for one of your skill."_

" _Thank you very much, darling~!"_

A grunt is her only response as I contact my dearest sister, inquiring, _"Switch foes, Sister?"_

A primal heave of her arms shoves aside Cruach's claw, allowing her a chance to run back towards me and reply, _"Of course."_

Ever the taciturn one, that girl…

" **Going somewhere? I hope not, because you hurt me rea-URK!"**

Caught off guard by Altera leaping into the air and simply slamming her legs into the back of it's skull Grendel stumbles forward, affording me an opportunity to sprint past it towards the Western Dragon.

One of it's reptilian eyes locks onto the spear-

-and it suddenly jerks it's head forward, black flames spewing forth from it's mouth and I barely manage to whirl to the side and avoid the stream-

-only to throw myself into a hasty backflip as it's tail slams into the ground where I had been, crushing solid rock into a fine powder.

Hmm...it's obviously aware of the spear's threat. How should I-

" _Charge forward, Lord of Spirits. I will restrain it."_

Momentarily surprised at Gilgamesh's intervention I nonetheless shrug and reply, _"If you say so."_

Crouching low and kicking off fast enough that the world seems to _blur_ for a moment Cruach raises it's tail to once again strike-

-and with a metallic rattle chains sprout from several golden portals, constricting and entrapping the beast as it gives a roar of surprise.

Ah, that would be the Chains of Heaven at work then?

Not one to waste such a perfect opportunity I leap into the air, aim the spear directly at it's scaled forehead-

-and with a deafening shriek of strained metal Cruach manages to snap a few of the chains just as I launch the weapon, the spear headed towards it's chest instead of skull.

Well that is mildly unfortunate.

Nonetheless, the weapon still pierces through it's scales as if they were paper, embedding itself deep into the Dragon's chest cavity and causing it to let loose a pained roar, the rest of the chains being shattered in short order due to it's fury, despite their strength and supposed durability against deified beings.

Goodness, what a hardy creature…

" _Altera? Could you be so kind as to switch opponents one more time?"_

" _Mmm..."_

With that simple acknowledgement I roll backwards to avoid an enraged slap of the Dragon's talons, summoning a single Gáe Bolg as I rise to my feet, the King of Combat rushing to meet Cruach's frenzied charge.

" **Ohh? Did you miss me? Well come on then! Let's hurt each other some more, girlie!"**

I ignore the disturbing creature's ramblings and instead assume an _Ochs_ stance, spear directed at the creatures heart.

" _Gáe.."_

While the creatures skin may be warded, does that protection extend to a technique designed to warp causality itself?

We'll see.

" _Bolg!"_

A crimson lance of energy fires towards Grendel, the universe seeming to shift as it does-

-and the Dragon stops in it's tracks, an expression of confusion adorning it's hideous features...as a small trickle of blood leaks from it's throat.

" **He...heehee...HAHAHA! My heart! You stabbed my heart! Yes, c'mon! MORE!"**

It's with no small amount of exasperation that I leap backwards from the demented Dragon's grasp, a frown I little control over appearing on my lips.

This is turning into quite the prolonged engagement...something we can ill afford right now.

A thought I have no time to address as both Altera and Gilgamesh come sliding to a halt next to me, their respective opponents closing in with snarls on their faces.

" _We had best be ending this quickly, or fleeing should we be unable to do so. We have been fighting at no small amount of strength for quite some time now."_

The Golden Queen fixes me with an incredulous gaze, her expression clear despite the full helm she's wearing.

" _You would have us flee?! If that is a joke, it is one made in poor taste!"_

" _It is no joke, Queen of Uruk. Horatius has yet to contact us, something that worries me. We should-"_

"Heh, I'll give you pretty little ladies credit, you sure know how to put up a fight~! But time's a wasting and nobody lives forever! Toodles!"

As soon as the grandstanding Devil finishes his speech and prompts all three of us to roll our eyes-

-a truly _massive_ ball of something that feels like corrupted Prana gathers above his head, twelve bat-like wings ensconcing it as it continues to grow in a mind-bogglingly fast rate.

Stars above...it's the size of the castle we just left…

"Here, catch~!"

He launches the ball of oscillating Prana, the two Dragons jumping back to no doubt avoid the fallout-

" _On my command manifest the strongest shields that you are able."_

I don't have time to question the Queen of Heroes words as her eyes narrow in concentration, a _gargantuan_ Gate of Babylon opening above us, disgorging some sort of colossal airship that snaps a green barrier into place to deflect the sphere, an ear-rending _shriek_ emanating from the two clashing energies-

-and then the shields break, the ball of crackling energy tearing into the ship and destroying almost half of it before expending itself, ash and molten fragments of metal raining down upon the landscape.

" _NOW!"_

A faint _whoosh_ reaches my ears as a single light contrail is launched from the dying aircraft above us, the projectile looping through the air in a graceful motion-

-before it heads directly towards where we stand, an action quite similar to those of the 'ICBMs' Horatius has occasionally mentioned.

...Ahh. I see.

" _Queen of Gold, what possessed you to think dropping the equivalent of this era's atomic weaponry directly on top of us was a_ good _idea?"_

" _You requested a quick end to the fight. This will ensure it. Shields,_ now. _"_

I don't bother questioning her sanity further, instead kneeling on the ground and hastily inscribing as many _S_ _kjold_ and _R_ _eduksjon_ Runes as I can, given the scant few seconds I have to work with.

The Queen of Heroes herself summons four discus shaped shields that layer themselves directly above us, Altera raising the Photon Ray so that it's perfectly vertical from her chest-

-and the three individual segments that make up the blade spring to life, whirling to create a tri-colored shield that ensconces us at a perfect 30 degree angle.

With no time left to continue creating Runes I spare a final glance at our adversaries-

-and smirk as I see them hidden behind several layers of some kind of Magic Circle construct, obviously having seen our preparations and scrambled to do the same.

And then the sky goes white.

* * *

A horrendous noise assails my ears, the temperature rises so sharply that were we not anything but Heroic Spirits we would be blackened clumps of flesh, a force far stronger than that of the Dragons smashes me backwards- _despite_ our protections-and quite honestly I think the Queen of Heroes might have, as Horatius would put it, 'a screw loose'.

But as quickly as it came it passes, the weapon of Old India not _entirely_ the same as it's modern counterpart.

No significant radiation or other harmful effects, for one thing.

I can't help but raise an eyebrow as I see Gilgamesh's four shields fall uselessly to the ground, their surfaces slagged and distorted from the heat.

That was perhaps a _bit_ closer than I thought…

" _See, Lord of Spirits? We yet live without so much as a burnt strand of hair."_

" _A feat I would_ _most happily_ not _recreate in the future. What of our foes?"_

As the ash and smoke mostly clears, revealing a gargantuan crater with burning rock and stone...I bite back on a sigh.

The three still live.

Wounded, obviously...but _very_ much alive.

The two Dragons are _glowing_ , the heat of the explosion obviously testing their scales durability to the limits while the Devil is slowly rising to his feet, skin sunburnt and his elegant robes mostly burnt away, unthinking hatred present in his eyes.

" _Hmph, the worms still live? Allow me to-"_

" _Altera,_ _Scáthach,_ _Gilgamesh! Can any of you hear me?!"_

 _..._ About time he finally contacted us!

" _Yes, Master. We are here. Have you accomplished your task?"_

" _Yeah, I'm all set on my end, just laying low outside the castle for the moment, trying to catch my breath."_

 _That_ causes me to scowl. Horatius saying he's out of breath is his way of saying that he's exhausted.

" _Altera, Gilgamesh, we're leaving."_

The Queen of Uruk scowls behind her helm and physically speaks aloud with, "We have our enemies before us in a weakened state and you would have us retreat?! Let us spend the time and effort necessary to end them while we can!"

I feel a _bit_ of anger at her words and harshly reply, "It would not be _your_ effort, Gilgamesh, but that of our companion who is relying on us to see him away safely. _We're leaving._ "

Stubbornness is evidently a trait both versions of the Golden Hero share as she growls and opens her mouth-

"We do not know if those three are the only ones of power nearby. And they might not fall as easily as you seem to think, Queen of Heroes. Please, let us retreat. I do not wish for a hasty decision to lead to the injury of our Master."

My sister's simple-yet emotional-words seem to mollify the oldest Queen, only a half-hearted mutter of, "You mean _your_ Master..." being her reply before a smaller Vimana appears in a blaze of golden light.

"Very well then, let us depart. Your pleas have... _convinced_ me."

We smoothly leap onto the awaiting aircraft, all the while I calmly say, "See? I knew you weren't a cold-hearted Bitch."

The legitimately offended look I receive from the Queen is summarily ignored as I glance back at our three prior foes, now fully regaining their bearings and glaring at us as we speed away.

Sorry, gentlemen...but our fight will have to wait for another day.

* * *

Rizevim

Those...those...

 _THOSE ARROGANT LITTLE SLUTS!_

How DARE they simply _run_ , after everything they've done! After everything they've ruined!

 _PAIN..._

So many years since I've been _hurt_.

The sensation of stabbing ice from burns, the glass in flesh feeling from a broken arm.

Killing those three isn't enough...no, I'll make an _example_ out of them!

 _NOBODY_ insults a Lucifer and merely _survives_.

"Are you ok?"

I glance up in surprise, startled from my thoughts at the sudden appearance of Lilith.

"Where were you this entire time?!"

"In town. I wanted to buy sweets but had no money..."

Oh, how _u_ _nfortunate._

"I returned to the castle like you said too, but the Vampire was dead and the Sacred Gear user was missing. So I went to find you and ask what I should do."

...

 _What?_

Grendel and Crom Cruach both immediately swing their heads at the imitation Ouroboros, mirroring my own action.

"Missing?! Where is she?!"

A single finger points over the horizon.

Precisely where those three Bitches had flown.

...

...No...no no no _no no_ _NO!_

"Lilith, cutie pie?"

Her expression remain blank.

"Yes?"

"I want you to find the ones who took the Vampire Girl with the Sacred Gear. Bring the Gear user back to me alive."

My fingers spastically twitch.

 ** _"AND BRING ME THE HEADS OF THE REST!"_**

* * *

Horatius

Man...cold air has never felt so great.

Seated atop the front of the Vimana as it cuts through the skies is a great way to cool down after the dangerously high temperatures my body had reached during this little heist of ours...but it all worked out in the end!

...Seemingly?

Altera and Scáthach are perfectly normal, the Hunnic King silently fussing over me with a mildly furrowed brow while the Queen of Ulster curiously stares at the Vampire girl I picked up, said bloodsucker idly humming to herself and staring peacefully at the rapidly passing scenery.

It's Gilgamesh who's behaving...strangely?

She seems oddly _subdued_ , staring at nothing with a distant look as the aircraft appears to pilot itself automatically.

Odd.

"Hey, Altera, did something happen between Gilgamesh and you two?"

My first companion seems momentarily thoughtful before lightly shrugging and replying, "Perhaps she is thinking about her new family?"

I can't help but snort in amusement, chuckling as I respond with, "What, is she experiencing a bit of homesickness?"

I'm caught off guard by the frown she sends my way, her tone mildly admonishing as she says, "She is more Human than you and my sister give her credit for."

…

I'm about to inquire further about what _that_ means when the sound of booted heels draws my attention, Scáthach leading Valerie over with a perplexed expression adorning her features.

"Horatius-san?"

"Yes, Miss Valerie?"

With an expression like that of a 3-year old imparting their deepest, darkest secrets she says, "Samuel-kun says that in the next five seconds you should jump from the aircraft, otherwise it will be destroyed by the Ouroboros Dragon chasing you."

…

Time seems to stop.

I would _like_ to laugh...but this 'Samuel-kun's predictions have thus far been frighteningly accurate.

And did she say OUROBOROS DRAGON?!

"EVERYONE JUMP, _NOW!"_

Suiting actions to words I grab Valerie and leap off of the Vimana, a drop of at least 300 meters to look forward to-

-until to my intense relief Scáthach nosedives directly below us, casting a _Vind_ rune that slows our descent to something less than terminal, Altera and-to my pleasant surprise-Gilgramesh dropping next to us as well.

I'd been worried she'd have been to distracted-or alternatively, too prideful-to make the leap on such a short notice.

And not a moment too soon, either.

Some _massive_ black snake thing darts out seemingly _nowhere_ and in a single clean bite destroys the Vimana, only the two wings continuing on their journey while the main body stays behind in that nasty looking maw.

Gilgamesh makes a brief 'tch' noise in annoyance and frankly I can't really blame her.

Today _has_ been a little rough on her treasury…

A jolt runs through my legs as we land on broken ground, smack dab in the middle of nowhere which, quite honestly, is probably for the best if things are gonna get as destructive as I think they are.

What I'm _not_ prepared for is the sudden rush of dizziness that hits me as I set the Vampire aside, a bit of cold sweat coating my brow and breath coming out in ragged clouds of steam.

Shit, I'm still not in the best of conditions... _especially_ if we're going to be going up against one of the beings that was our end game…

"Master, are you-"

"I'm, fine, Altera. Well, not _really,_ but it's not like we have a choice here..."

Her lovely crimson eyes briefly narrow in concern...but she seems to recognize that we aren't going to be able to pick this battle.

Instead all four of us, Valerie still absentmindedly staring at the sky, turn to where we can feel a truly _monstrous_ presence approaching.

…

And I don't think I'm the only one that raises an eyebrow as instead of the gargantuan black snake thing that destroyed the Vimana...a little girl dressed in some sort of Victorian outfit calmly walks towards us, expression blank and not displaying anything remotely resembling an emotion.

...Odd.

She stops about twenty meters away from us, no one saying a word...until she tilts her head and matter-of-factly states, "Rizevim was angry. He says he wants you dead and the Vampire back."

And just like that shadows seem to spring to life around her, serpentine shapes with lethal looking fangs writhing in a mad dance as the Prana emanating from her seems to _soar_.

" **I need you to die now. Sorry."**

...She doesn't _sound_ particularly sorry!

With a resigned sigh Scáthach turns to Gilgamesh and dryly asks, "I don't suppose you have any more nukes, do you?"

* * *

 **Boom, 3rd chapter completed!  
**

 **I suppose I should head off any suggestions or comments on the 'process' behind the Gradation Air creation process now. Yes, I'm aware the process of making things was heavily abbreviated and even somewhat out of order (mainly the making of the explosives) but it was mainly meant to cover the core aspects of each item. I feel safe in assuming no-one really felt like reading a copy pasted article on the intricacies of creating nitroglycerin XD**

 **Also while there was a little bit of play into how the Heroic Spirits stack up against the DxD universes bad guys, it was a short bout with no real conclusion or extensive use of Noble Phantasms.**

 **...**

 **Also because they now have to deal with the Ouroboros Dragon out to kill them.**

 **Stay tuned for next chapter where Horatius and Irappu show what they can do given the right conditions!**

 **And many thanks for all of the reviews and follows/favorites!**

 **CherokiiTV: Technically only one OC (Horatius), the rest are all canon nasuverse and DxD characters :D my verbal nitpicking aside, glad you're enjoying the story!**

 **Kshail: The year of the lootbox/microtransaction takes a heavy toll, none more so on creatures of avarice. EA may as well be the Devil of Devils...**

 **Kinunatzs The Eternal: It wouldn't really make a difference if DxD _was_ fictional in the Nasuverse one, since they're essentially trapped at the moment. And they definitely didn't read a bunch of Light Novels as research before making the jump, lol. And the 'advance knowledge' is going to be a fun bit of interaction that I'm planning on having turn around and bite everyone in the ass :D**

 **FateBurn: It's not a totally successful heist yet (the fat lady hasn't sung), but it's been a real run-and-gun battle so far, hope you're enjoying!**

 **123: More on the Servant later, there's a bit of a surprise worked into that :D glad you like my characterization of Gil, it's always a balancing act between making her likable and retaining her authority and imperiousness.**

 **piddle: See 123's above reply, there's a twist I'm working on in regards to that request!**

 **Guest: You more or less nailed it, having expectations about something that is a bit above and beyond said expectations is playing with fire. And not to mention these Heroic Spirits have been alive for decades and counting, you pick up and learn some interesting things over that expanse of time.**

 **Dxhologram: Hopefully this chapter and the next provide a decent insight into what he's both capable of and limited by. And the DxD being fictional will play a decently important role, but there'll be a fair amount of cheek and humor to it.**

 **Kinunatzs: See previous responses about the whole 'fictional' stuff, but it'd be hilarious to see the Angels get all excited about having a potential Yahweh return to them...and realizing Nasuverse God's are generally kinda shit 'people', not the loving father they all remember XD**

 **fire99: See previous comment about the possibility of Yahweh making the jump. Although if Nasuverse Yahweh is as omnipotent and all-powerful as supposedly it is...then it obviously hasn't bothered to visit DxD in the first place.**

 **Ouch. Sorry Angels, but daddy no longer loves you.**

 **superpiece: A number of things, really. He kinda came together out of an amalgamation of both plot convenience and original ideas. I wanted to do something with the concept of a person who has spent their entire life exploring and is defined by that, as well as giving weight to their experience. I also wanted someone who could relate to some of the older Heroic Spirits on a personal level, as someone who had been alive during the times when they walked the Earth.**

 **There's alot more to it, obviously, but then I'd be writing a LOT in what is mostly just an AN. Happy to hear you're liking him so far!**

* * *

 **And thanks to all others who reviewed! Even though I didn't reply, I appreciate your words (letters?) and am looking forward to more feedback!  
**


	4. The World Spirit

Ch 4: The World Spirit

Horatius

I thought things had been bad when it had just been some pint-sized girl sending gargantuan snakes made of some kind of solid shadows after us but oh how the universe just _loves_ to prove me wrong.

A prepubescent form had been substituted with some kind of 100 meter long _monstrosity_ , a pitch-black snake with interlocked scales and two massive wings sprouting from it's back.

Oh, and did I mention that it's hide can tank A-rank Phantasms with barely a _scratch?_

Because the Queen of Heroes has been firing those suckers off like there's no tomorrow...with little effect to show for it. And matters aren't helped by the fact that this giant fekkin' lizard can apparently tell which Phantasms are actually capable of hurting it, several weapons and tools being either dodged with sinious contortions or knocked aside by those summoned snakes. So much for being able to smack it dead with anti-Dragon weaponry...

Not to mention Altera and Scáthach have had their hands full keeping the shadowy serpents from taking a bite out of anything important, a constant stream of whipping shadows traveling almost as fast as the eye can see and hitting like a damn truck.

And they're coming from fucking _everywhere_. While they seem to originate from the Snake's main body, they aren't static or linear in their motions, surrounding the three Spirits from all sides and not granting them the slightest leeway.

And their numbers are _increasing_.

Pretty soon Gilgamesh has to divert the Babylon Gates away from bombarding the creature in favor of keeping the grunts at bay, freeing up the Ouroboros to...lean back?

And then I blanche as I remember what Dragon's are famous for.

" _Heads up, that things about to shoot something out of it's mouth!"_

Lo and behold my words come true, an absolute _torrent_ of indigo colored flames spewing from the serpent's maw, the few errant flames that touch solid rock burning through the material like it's not even _there_.

Recognizing the danger Scáthach summons a new Gáe Bolg to her her hands, the freshly created spear glowing a verdant green as Runic formations light up along it's length.

Facing the oncoming deluge of fire she expertly spins the spear once, letting it rapidly rotate in midair-

-and a small scale tornado bursts out of it, ripping apart the landscape as it meets the flames head on, the two elements warring for dominance.

For a split second I'm worried that the Ouroboros Dragon is going to come out on top, the storm of dark purple fire seeming to _feed_ on the supplied air-

-and then it begins to die down, it's consumption of fresh oxygen not enough to outpace the Queen of Ulster's counter.

It's a short lived victory.

Scáthach immediately has to go back to parrying the small scale shadow snakes, the whirling maelstrom of semi-solid avatars yet _again_ seeming to grow in number, their assault briefly overwhelming even Altera's flawless swordplay and Gilgamesh's thunderous volleys of Phantasms until the crimson-haired woman's spear work joins them.

And already the Dragon is sucking down a lungful of breath, no doubt about to unleash an even _bigger_ wave.

…

Shit, it may only be a fraction of it...but I've sensed this kind of power before. The kind of energy and presence that makes you feel _very_ small and _very_ inconsequential.

 _That_ first meeting hadn't gone particularly smoothly either...just for entirely different reasons.

* * *

 _You know, even after a century of messing around with Irappu's repertoire of abilities...I still find all sorts of interesting twists and turns, left right and center._

 _Take this newest development, for example._

 _Through it's connection with Gaia-and when I merge my body with it's own-I can actually travel between the various planes of existence that are tied with said planet itself!_

 _The world is already a massive place-Hell, I haven't even explored all of the newly annexed Creta et Cyrenae yet-and it's about to get much,_ much _bigger._

…

 _But this is rather...strange._

 _I can sense all of the realms quite vividly, one of them a land of death and shadows, one a sanctuary for all manner of Phantasmal Beasts and_ many _more._

 _But this one is...empty?_

 _No...more like it's_ compressed _, kept from expanding by some manner of imprisonment or restriction._

 _How curious._

 _So, like any curious person with an unquenchable thirst to see new things...I 'move' towards it._

 _...And this_ familiarity.

 _Granted, Irappu feels familiar with a great many things...but this is more..._ personal?

 _That implies whatever is in here is_ old.

 _Approaching the 'border' of this particular realm I'm honestly surprised at how easily I slip in. I'd figured that those protections and such would limit my movement or ability to access it._

 _I guess whoever designed this space was more concerned with keeping things_ in _than they were_ out _._

…

 _Blackness._

 _Ok, so there wasn't anything to 'see' in the first place, but all I can comprehend upon entering this territory is just how_ dark _it is...like something as mundane as_ vision _doesn't matter._

 _I go through Irappu's memories, trying to see if anything resembles this sensation...and come up with nothing._

…

 _At times like these I wish I could just_ ask _the thing a question directly._

 _Unfortunately, conversation is something of a difficult action to engage in with a being that's more a behavior than it is a sentient._

 _And then I sense it._

 _The thinnest tendril of independent-_ intelligent _-thought, gently brushing up against the edges of my consciousness like a curious dog._

 _Finally! I thought I was going to have ended up wasting my time in her-_

 **PAIN.**

 _Pain like no other form of pain I've ever experienced._

 _And I was raised in the Gladiatorial pits. I_ know _a thing or two about pain._

 _It's not a physical hurt, I would know how to deal with that...it's like something is ripping apart my very_ soul _, examining it bit by bit as they vivisect my entire life._

 _And all I can do is helplessly 'float', unable to move, barely able to even_ think _-_

 _-and then it_ talks _._

 _Not in words, no...in song._

 _And it's...confusing, to say the least._

 _My Human mind can only comprehend the music as a haunting elegy, of a pure voice singing a melancholy tune with a chorus of whale song to cap off the auditory beauty._

 _But through Irappu…_

 _I hear_ words _._

" _ **I...do not know what you are.** **I have borne witness to many forms of life, created** **countless** **more...and you are**_ **new** _ **."**_

 _The pressure largely abates-merely being uncomfortable instead of crippling-and I find my tongue long enough to shakily reply, "W-well it's nice to meet you too, Mysterious Beautiful Voice. My name's Horatius, may I have the pleasure of knowing yours?"_

 _A brief silence and I abruptly realize that being irreverent with the being that could crush me like a discarded loaf of bread_ might _not have been a good idea-_

" _ **That...does not explain what you are..."**_

 _There's a hint of confusion in the voice's tone, of uncertainty and bewilderment._

 _Thankfully no anger or impatience._

" _Ah, my apologies. Well, I'm Human. I, uh...hope that isn't a problem?"_

 _I hold my breath, praying this thing doesn't have a grudge against my kind-_

" _ **You are not Human. I know what a Human is. You are not one. If you were, I would have erased you."**_

…

 _...I got a lucky break?_

" _Well, I'm not entirely sure what to tell you then. I mean, I_ suppose _I'm indirectly immortal...but this body is still mostly Human. Trust me, I have to pee with it."_

…

 _Maybe leading with my less 'refined' sense of Gladiator humor wasn't the_ best _of_ _ideas…_

 _Thankfully the being doesn't comment, instead once more falling silent for quite a period of time._

" _ **...How do you carry a facet of what once was me within you? A Human would not have been able to survive such a melding..."**_

" _Well...I'm not sure what to tell you other than I_ did _survive this 'melding'. Irappu is a part of me now."_

" _ **...Irappu?"**_

" _The name of what I'm assuming is the 'facet' you were referencing."_

 _More silence._

" _ **...That...should not be possible. A Human cannot be one with me...I would not allow it. Again, I ask...what are you?"**_

 _Heaving a sigh I perform the mental equivalent of running a hand through my hair, asking, "Look, not to sound rude or anything...but can we get some light in here? It's disorienting talking to, well...what seems like nothing."_

" _ **...Light? I have not seen light in a long time...not since my banishment..."**_

 _Sympathy wars with caution as I 'frown' at that admission._

 _What being is this that it was, 'banished'?_

 _...The sympathy comes more from me just not approving of any kind of imprisonment in general. I've been there before and hated every second of it._

 _And make no mistake, this place IS a prison. Just a highly unusual one._

" _Well, since you and I are more or less in some kind of shared-mental-plane-of-not-existence...I think I can redecorate a bit. Just give me and Irappu a moment here..."_

 _Delving into my memories I cast around for a good setting, examining all of the places Irappu has seen...and keeping in mind the fact that this voice apparently hasn't seen light in quite some time._

" _Ok, here we go."_

 _Concentrating as hard as I can I bring forth the image held within my head,_ willing _it to become true._

 _Within seconds the utter blankness and oppressiveness of the space begins to fade, noise and images forcing their way into 'reality' at the behest of mine and Irappu's power._

 _In under a minute the landscape is complete._

 _I sit cross legged in my Human body atop a grassy knoll, flanked on either side by small copses of redbud trees._

 _No more than two meters down the gentle slope grass and dirt give way to a small sandbar, warmed by the overhead sun of white and yellow._

 _After the sand is an infinite body of water, stretching as far as the eye can see._

 _But not any body of water...no,_ this _particular construct of nature lacks any kind of waves or undulations, as mirror bright and smooth as any glass of the same make, perfectly reflecting the drifting altocumulus clouds overhead and creating an eye-catching sight._

 _Not an actual place that_ exists _, granted...but a scene that I had constructed from Irappu's scattered memories and my own inclinations, a genuinely unique landscape that belongs only to me._

…

" _ **...You are truly not Human. No Human could have made this..."**_

" _Sure they could have. Ever heard of Reality Marble's before?"_

 _There's no answer and for a moment I think that the voice outright_ left _._

 _A notion disabused as the surface of the liquid ripples, permitting a form to rise from it-_

 _-and my thought process stops DEAD._

 _I...I_ know _her...or, more specifically, I've_ heard of _her._

 _And can I just say it's an interesting thing, to have your blood both run cold in terror while simultaneously boiling over in lust?_

 _And I say this as no stranger to either beauty or sex, my time as a Gladiator and a century of travel affording me plenty of time to acclimate to both._

 _Skin the color of purest ivory, unblemished by anything so mundane as_ lines _or_ wrinkles _._

 _A delicate, sad face, as if she has been beaten down by the world just a time too many._

 _Elfin ears, delicate points that look as if they could be snapped off by a strong breeze._

 _Light-blue hair of varying shades, some strands done up in immaculate braids while others fall loose in cascading waves that remind me of, well...waves._

 _A dark green and blue shawl that covers her shoulders and arms...and little else, leaving her stomach exposed and perfect breasts visible to the world if it were not for her crossed arms._

 _Enticingly long legs covered only in leggings of the same material as her shawl, stopping at mid-thigh where they taper off into bars that look strikingly like oversized Magic Circuits, ethereal glow and all._

 _Lastly is her groin, covered only by some kind of form-fitting loincloth that seems like it was tailor-made to entice Men...maybe Women, too._

…

 _Lastly, as in that is the last of her_ Human _features._

 _Most eye-catching is her horns. Massive, jade constructs that sprout from behind her ears, shaped like two Omega symbols joined at the base, the undersides coated in some kind of blue and golden plating, the appendages reaching down to her thighs._

 _The tail, spouting from the base of her spine and calmly coiled around her legs._

 _The chains made of darkened metal that bind her legs and arms together, a sight that both angers me-that someone would_ dare _restrain a being this beautiful-and, quite frankly...makes me_ afraid. _A keen and constant reminder of just who-_ what _-I am dealing with._

 _...The eyes. Vibrant, pinkish red orbs with x-shaped pupils of pure white...that are tinged with wariness upon seeing my form._

 _Which is morbidly hilarious, actually._

 _She could snuff me out with barely a thought in here...and she's_ afraid _._

 _But, if any of the other features hadn't clued me in...the insignia etched into her navel would have, a hieroglyphic that had been one of the few recorded in a text I acquired some fifty years prior._

 _A book that listed the most dangerous beings in the known world, the likes of which included monstrosities such as the White Giant and emissary from Mercury._

 _Four jagged wings spread out like a sideways diamond, with a single ridged line trailing to just above her pubis._

 _The symbol of the Sumerian Mother Goddess._

…

 _I've never pretended to be a particularly_ smart _person._

 _Sure, I can be studious and one Hell of a quick learner...but as my fellow slaves often liked to tell me-with no shortage of exasperation-I can be extraordinarily_ stupid _about things most would consider common-fucking-sense._

 _So, when confronted with a Primordial Deity that has me trapped in her territory, that could erase me with but a thought...I_ don't _mind my manners._

 _Instead, I smile._

" _Hello there, Tiamat. I guess you have a point, I'm only_ mostly _Human...but don't let that fool you, I'm Human in the most important of ways!"_

* * *

 _Looking back on this moment, of the decisions I made when conversing with the Goddess of all Life...I don't know._

 _I don't regret it-it made me who I am today-but I certainly_ lament _it._

 _Lament, because the both of us made inexcusable mistakes that soured what could have been...more._

 _But to regret would be to have never met her at all-_

* * *

Dammit now is _not_ the time to be mooning over a centuries old heartbreak! Get it together, _Barcala!_

Violently shaking my head clears it, logic and pragmatism taking over as I throw myself onto the ground in a cross-legged position, muttering, _"Frozen Domain...",_ as I do so.

If I can let those three cut loose with their stronger Phantasms we should still be ok-

" _Master!"_

The rare sound of Altera _panicked_ echoes through my head and I have time to realize the ground beneath me is shaking-

-before a tanned blur _slams_ into me, crushing the air from my lungs and _barely_ getting me out of the way of an elephant sized snake that had burst out from where I'd been sitting a split-second ago.

" _Thanks, Altera."_

She doesn't have a chance to reply, more serpents winding towards us and she has to switch over to full-time defense.

Fuck, at this rate of attrition I'm going to collapse from heat exhaustion and then we're _really_ screwed.

Time to go for broke.

" _What, are you all waiting for an engraved invitation? Cut loose with the heavy shit already!"_

Scáthach's worried voice immediately comes back with, _"Horatius, you're in no condition to-"_

" _Being dead is kinda worse than whatever it is you're about to suggest! Queen of Heroes! Quit holding back, bust out Ea and tear that_ thing _to shreds!"_

It's a measure of how serious the situation is that, instead of berating me for so flippantly suggesting that she use her most emotionally invested treasure, she merely manifests a Gate and rips the spiral 'sword' from it's confines.

" _You had best not fall apart at the seams because of this, Gladiator!"_

I'm about to shoot back with a no doubt witty reply when the already intense draw on my Magic Circuits kicks it up a notch, coinciding with the segments of Ea beginning to rotate in counter-clockwise directions, red streamers of primordial energy running down it's length and a high-pitched keening noise heralding it's imminent attack.

Let's see this thing survive a hit from a weapon made to just generally screw with the laws of reality.

The Golden Queen bends her knees, cocking her arm behind her head-

" **Enuma-"**

-the air begins to shiver, released waves of reality ripping energy playing havoc-

" **Eli-"**

 _CRUNCH!_

…

Ea-still whirring and spitting raw power-slips from suddenly numb fingers, a no doubt shocked look on Gilgamesh's regal features beneath her helm...an expression mirrored by the rest of us.

Directly behind her-floating in the middle of _nothing_ -is a void, doubtlessly caused by the Ouroboros Dragon.

And from it emanates yet another shadowed snake...it's maw having punched _through_ Gilgamesh's armor and practically cutting her in half, teeth embedded in her ribcage and flanks, blood pouring in arterial gouts from the wounds.

…

...How the _fuck-_

A roar of triumph snaps us out of our shock, the Dragon sending a veritable _tidal_ wave of snakes at the trapped Queen.

Time slows.

Altera flinches-no doubt conflicted by her desire to keep me safe and also save Gilgamesh-while Scáthach sprints towards her comrade in a blur of speed...that just isn't fast enough. Even worse is through our shared connection I can feel the Queen of Heroes hazily try to astralize...and fail, the snake doing _something_ to keep her anchored.

...This is going to hurt.

I'm no typical Magus, the most 'research' I ever did was when I was trying to figure out a way to extend my life. After that I had more or less just learned stuff during my travels, taking things as they came.

...Except for one _very_ specific branch of Magecraft that had been practiced by a native tribe of African hunter-gatherers, what their shamans had called _Knip_.

Or, in more modern terms...teleportation.

…

That said, I'll be the first to admit I _suck_ at it. I'm no Sumire the Water Demon, that tipsy Bitch. My version is limited to an almost _hilarious_ degree.

I have to actually be able to _see_ where I'm going, otherwise odds are good I'll accidentally mix my body's cells with that of a rock or something upon making the jump...not a fun time.

Additionally, it takes a _shit_ ton of Prana in a very quick burst to pull off, something that's kinda difficult for me and my stunted output. Kischur had hypothesized that the sizable amount of energy had to be used in order to push away the air around me when I make the 'jump' lest strange things happen when the air tries to combine with the makeup of my person.

...And it's disorienting as FUCK.

I lock eyes on Gilgamesh, then on the patch of rock about thirty meters beyond her...and queue my jumps.

My body _burns_ , the excess Mana causing my already stressed system to shriek in agony-

-there's a stomach twisting _wrench_ as I make the first leap, hand landing on the Golden Queen's shoulder pauldron-

-and then a pain even worse than the last hits me, fire racing up my veins and my gut feeling like someone just tried to rearrange my intestines.

…

I promptly retch steaming blood onto Gilgamesh's shoes, my face _numb_ , that staticy feeling like when a limb falls asleep spreading outwards from my nose and frankly my eyes are having trouble...focusing?

Shit.

…

Oh well, it _worked_.

And the look on the Ouroboros' face is _priceless_.

An expression of feline bewilderment as it's reptilian eyes flick between the thirty meter gap where Gilgamesh _had_ been and where we are now, evidently confused as Hell as to how the _fuck_ I just pulled that off.

...Well, it's in luck, because I don't think I'll be doing _that_ stunt anytime soon.

" _Master, behind you!"_

I'm too far gone to do anything other than dumbly stare over my shoulder as several of those portals manifest, enraged shadow serpents darting right for my head-

-before dissipating en masse as Altera and Scáthach arrive on scene, weapons flashing in blurring arcs and batting the attackers aside.

Oh, good.

Shakily bending over-and promptly barfing, because shifts in balance are a _bad_ idea when you're suffering from fever and nausea-I check on Gilgamesh only to find her with some kind of flask in hand, shakily trying to undo the stopper as her helmet dematerializes into motes of golden light.

SHIT she's pale, way paler than is likely healthy.

Oh, right...blood loss.

…

I am _really_ not at my best right now…

Still, I have enough presence of mind to undo the cap of whatever it is she's trying to drink and hand it back to her, stumbling to my feet and trying to clear my head as best I can.

…

Yeah, at this pace we're _fucked_. The addition of those odd void gates that can shoot out the avatar snakes at any degree or angle adds a layer of complexity to an already pitched defense...and said defense is down an extra pair of helping hands.

" _Well, nothing for it...Hold tight you two, me and Irappu will have to take this."_

" _Horatius, I don't think you'll be able to kill it using those kinds of methods. Anything powerful enough to menace it would cause irreparable damage to the planet itself, and we have no way to successfully leave it..."_

…

Dammit, Scáthach is right. Without the jewel Kischur gave us to head back home, any potential planet-cracking is just as detrimental to us as it is to the Ouroboros.

Of all the rotten fucking luck…

" **Enuma..."**

HUH?!

" **Elish!"**

A cyclone of red, white and black streamers flies past my shoulder, reality seeming to _twist_ in it's wake-

-and hits the Ouroboros dead in the face, bringing an abrupt halt to the pitched melee as the snakes freeze alongside their originator, slitted eyes as large as a car wide in shock at the sudden assault.

...Huh?

I whirl around- _don't_ barf, idiot-and find a miniature version, maybe thirteen or fourteen years old, of the Queen of Heroes lowering a now comically large (at least in her hands) Ea, the Sword of Rapture quieting down as it's wielder harshly pants, a _pissed_ glare leveled at the frozen Ouroboros.

"Stupid...Dragons..."

Her voice still has it's regality...but the tone and pitch is higher, her words a little less formal.

In a word, cute.

"Holy _shit_ I'm glad you're still alive!"

Puffing up her chest in pride at my words-a more honest version of the preening her older self would react with-she replies, "But of course I yet live, Gladiator! The Elixir of Youth guarantees I won't die easy, after all. If you need be glad of something, be thankful that my treasure still contained it's energy and that I could properly harness it!"

Inspiring words that are only slightly marred by her still uncomfortably pallid face and the cold sweat adorning her brow.

"And on that subject..."

I belatedly realize there's still an angry primordial beast after us and carefully turn around, Altera and Scáthach wisely having not moved their gazes in the slightest.

...But I can tell through our connection that they're relieved and frankly I don't blame them.

The three of us have always been excited (at least privately) about the idea of another companion that'll stay with us the rest of our likely immortal days.

To lose one so soon after joining our merry gang would have been...disheartening.

A low pitched, keening moan snaps me out of my ruminations for real this time and I don't bother hiding my smirk at the sight of the Ouroboros Dragon falling apart at the seams, flesh and scales sloughing off it's frame and significant portions of it's body simply unraveling, the effects of _Enuma Elish_ really doing a number on it.

Well how about that? Killing it wasn't so hard after al-

" **KKKKKHHHHHHAAAAAAA!"**

The colossal _scream_ that emanates from the Dragon's throat leaves me gasping for air and clutching my heart, the burst of sound so fucking _loud_ that it nearly stopped my bodily functions entirely.

What the Hell was that? A death knell?

…

I _really_ need to stop tempting fate.

Instead of dissipating the Dragon's power seems to _multiply_ , furious obsidian eyes locked on our position as space itself seems to warp around it's frame-

-just like a _Reality Marble_.

" _Shit! We gotta get out of-"_

The encroaching wave of reality hits and everything goes dark.

* * *

The first thing I notice is the _cold_.

Considering my body's fucked up, overheated condition you would think a little bit of chill is just what the doctor ordered.

Ice forming on the tips of my fingers after no more than a second or two of exposure is decidedly _not_ the kind of frostiness I need right now.

The second is that I can barely fucking _breathe_.

What little atmosphere there is is so damn thin and cold that an lungful feels more like I'm breathing through a freakin' straw.

Thankfully Scáthachand Gilgamesh have me covered, the spear-wielder rapidly inscribing a _Värme_ rune on the ground that keeps me from resembling a Human popsicle while the Golden Queen summons up some kind of contraption that looks for all the world like an air filter combined with windmill, a light hiss emanating from it and suddenly I can breathe far easier.

" _Thanks, you two."_

Two nods are my only reply as we proceed to take stock of where we are, the sudden ride catching us off guard.

…

Where the Hell are we?

All I can see is a blasted landscape, ugly gouges and scars dotting the cracked stone that makes up the majority of the terrain.

I cast my gaze skyward-

-and feel my face go pale, despite the heat still coursing through my body.

The stars...they're _different_.

The Big Dipper, Orion, Aquila...they're _gone._

And in their place is an unfamiliar smattering of lights, twinkling without a care in the universe.

…

With an enormous, serpentine Dragon wheeling through the sky, no worse for wear.

" _What?! Impossible! Ea hit it, I_ know _it did!"_

The pint-sized Golden Queen's shocked exclamation is, quite frankly, in line with my own questions.

An Anti-World Phantasm isn't something you can just _brush_ _off_ , how did-

-ah shit...I think I figured it out.

" _You definitely hit it, Queen of Heroes. But I think you only destroyed_ one _world."_

I sense the question before it's vocalized and quickly add, _"Remember that bit of lore about how the Ouroboros devours universes that are either dead or dying? Ea destroyed one or more of them, certainly...but not all of them. It must be able to use those as some kind of power source in order to keep functioning."_

A scowl dominates the teenagers face while grim expressions appear on Scáthach and Altera's features.

I'm already on my last legs...any further usages of those three's more powerful techniques will almost certainly kill me.

…

It's a good thing the Ouroboros brought us to an entirely different world altogether, otherwise we would be 100% screwed.

" _Astralize, you three. Me and Irappu will handle the rest of this."_

Altera worriedly interjects with, _"Master, you are already weakened. Using Irappu's powers-"_

" _Is our only option left. It'll be fine, Altera. Trust me."_

A well meaning lie...but what am I supposed to say?

A distant roar-oddly subdued due to the lack of any significant amount of air to use as a medium-echoes as the Ouroboros finally spots us, it's sinuous body contorting as it dives downward, indigo flames trailing from it's flanks from the open maw that could swallow a building whole.

" **Castles Crumble, Empires Fall."**

Irappu rouses itself-alien in thought, yet comforting in familiarity-it's power flooding my own as the three Spirits astralize.

" **Villages Wither, Nations Bicker."**

Knowledge unfurls itself in my brain, millennia of experience meeting millennia of usage.

" **Travel The World And Drown It All..."**

The Ouroboros accelerates, serpentine body mere moments away from crushing my own-

" **Death Comes For All!"**

My Aria completes itself as my perception _shifts_ -

* * *

Gilgamesh

...This Gladiator just keeps surprising.

" _You neglected to mention he posses the ability to_ teleport _, Lord of Shadows. And of this...incarnation."_

The King of Ulster-well, _Queen_ now, I suppose-distractedly replies, _"He has done so before, Queen of Heroes...and the teleportation is limited. Have you not seen his memories?"_

I pout-no, Queens do not _pout_ , I _frown_ -curtly replying, _"There are centuries, if not millennia, of memories. Even one as exceptional as I can not comprehend them all at a glance!"_

" _Peace, Golden Queen..._ watch _."_

Heaving out a sigh-the action not nearly so satisfying when astralized, what with lacking lungs-I turn my regal attention to the action happening around us.

…

Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say the _lack_ of action.

After his body had dissipated in an act quite similar to our own astralized forms nothing of note has happened, the stupid Snake-God-Dragon thing warily glancing around in confusion.

…

Wait, wasn't it my older self that didn't like Dragons, Gods and Snakes? But I'm also her and I remember what it was like to be her...even though I'm a younger me?

Ugh, I should have figured out how that stupid Elixir worked _before_ I died...stupid Ereshkigal wouldn't just be nice for _once_ and tell me...

" _He's starting..."_

The normally calm Whip of God's mildly apprehensive tone catches me off guard, impatience and curiosity aggravating me in equal parts.

" _Starting_ what _, Scourge of God!?"_

" _Look at the ground."_

...Huh? What's so special about the...ground…

…

Oh.

Wow.

* * *

Horatius

Alright…

Let's do this, Irappu.

I ignore the burning and searing 'pain' that came with understanding and accepting this world as my own, a feat that would have been impossible were it not for Irappu's consciousness supplementing my own...and start my counter attack.

It starts off as a slight rumble, the Ouroboros curiously glancing downwards as it abandons it's search for my now incorporeal body, merged with Irappu's-

-and let's loose a surprised screech that I don't actually _hear_ so much as _see_ , the noise of two tectonic plates suddenly grinding to life after who knows how long inactivity creating a noise that sounds like the universe starting up a chainsaw.

A gaping maw twenty kilometers across and eighty thousand deep appears in the blink of an eye, the raw _violence_ and force of the action creating a shockwave of displaced air that tumbles the Dragon, causing it to fall deeper inside the unimaginably wide chasm-

-and then I 'flex'.

Two continent sized plates _SLAM_ together and had I just pulled that maneuver on Earth, well...the resulting shockwave probably would have wiped out a good chunk of all life, tidal waves and all sorts of other earthquake inspired disasters doing their thing, on a scale never before known.

This…

 _This_ is Irappu's true power.

As a Transcendent Being, Irappu would use natural disasters to carry out Gaia's will as best it could, all according to it's 'programming'. What I'd discovered when first merging with the Transcendent was that it had been _limiting_ itself.

Which makes perfect sense, really. It was often just wiping out Human settlements or things like that, stuff that a sizable flood or tornado could take care of.

Using the very crust of the planet to physically 'relocate' settlements would be a bit overkill, not to mention potentially harmful to Gaia.

 _Especially_ when you consider that as an extension of the planet's will, Irappu's actions have a conceptual tinge to them, destruction and injuries caused by it not healing or being repaired as easily as it's more mundane counterparts.

But the potential was _there_.

Complete and absolute control over the planet itself, using the very makeup of it's existence as extensions of my body.

Crushing the Ouroboros had been the physical equivalent of bench-pressing a particularly heavy set of weights.

...And I'm not limited to using these powers _just_ on Gaia.

Whether it's due to my Origin as 'Wanderer' or just some trick of the mind...I can _feel_ this planet's makeup as if it was my very own. The iron and nickle core, now surrounded by a solidified stream of what once was flowing magma as my heart.

The still, thin and nearly motionless air as the breath in my lungs.

Stagnated tectonic plates, no longer carried to and fore by the shifting eddies of the Planet as my arms and legs.

…

And that's just the _physical_ aspects.

" _Horatius, it's shifting planes again!"_

I snap out of my reverie as Scáthach shouts a warning, the entombed Ouroboros emitting that strange effect so similar to a Reality Marble manifesting-

* * *

-And then I'm somewhere else, mind _straining_ to understand the new phenomena, a migraine that would have left me comatose in a moment if it wasn't for my Transcendent partner.

Another iron and nickel core, about a third again as large as Earth's-

-far more violent planetary rotation, the two nearby suns and three large moons creating a chaotic magnetic field and consistently storm-locked land awash with lightning-

…

Oh this Dragon is in for a _surprise_.

I 'glance' upwards as the now revived beast effortlessly soars through the skies-keeping away from ground level, smartly-furiously roaring and darting it's eyes every which way in an attempt to find me.

…

An endurance challenge, then?

All right.

Let's see if I can kill you enough times before I run out of steam.

* * *

Gilgamesh

…

" _Impossible_."

" _The sights before us suggests otherwise, Queen of Heroes."_

Those words would be infuriating if it weren't for the obvious worry evident in the Lord of Spirit's tone.

" _For what_ possible _reason could you be anxious, Scáthach!? The Gladiator evidently has the ability to_ control the very mantle _of the_ world! _Have you any idea of how_ unusual _that is?! The only beings that could possibly replicate such feats are the Ultimate Ones and a few select artifacts. Ea being one of them! My most valuable and unique treasure!"_

...I'm not angry because I'm no longer special. No, that would be petty, and beneath the Queen.

"Think _, Gilgamesh. Irappu-the being that is allowing Horatius to perform these feats-was originally an agent of Gaia. We are no longer_ on _Gaia. And yet he uses these powers without limit. Does that not strike you as strange?"_

…

" _Stars above..."_

" _Exactly."_

" _How is he_ doing _that?!"_

Using a Spirit of Gaia's own making on an entirely different world simply should _not_ be possible!

" _It's likely a combination of 'teamwork' between him and Irappu, his Origin and his own mind. But, much like the teleportation...there are limits. Understanding and taking control of these disparate elements is no doubt taxing in the extreme. We'll have to hope that this Ouroboros Dragon expires before the strain becomes too much...otherwise he'll revert to his normal body, even worse off than he was before."_

The conversation comes to a halt as all of the sudden the sky _burns_.

Thunderous noise that could put Gugulana's roars to shame echo across the sky as the stormclouds overhead seem to shiver-

-and then lightning converges on the accursed Dragon in jagged lines of power, thick bars of energy hitting the Serpent in intervals near impossible to count, they arrive so fast.

It doesn't even have time to scream as it's cracked and flaking corpse plummets like a stone, ash and smoke trailing from it's vaporized entrails.

...A most gratifying sight.

" _Clever...with such a chaotic magnetic field, creating highly charged locations at will makes for an easy usage of lightning..."_

Most of what the King-no, _Queen_ -of Dunscaith says is beyond my understanding, which is annoying, but the results are spectacular in their own right.

So it is all the more vexing when yet _another_ wave of terra altering power encapsulates us, another stage which I will be forced to be _observe_.

Observation…

Neither myself nor my older iteration are used to being a bystander, to being _helpless_. Once had been enough, to see Enkidu waste away-

-no! That had not been _me_ , but my future self.

…

Perhaps I should have experimented with the Elixir prior to using it, just to avoid confusion such as this.

* * *

Horatius

A frozen asteroid the size of Saturn that had been easy enough to exploit, a small planetoid orbiting it as it pinwheeled across the stars...a brief flexing of it's gravity and rotation had the two collide with the Ouroboros full on, a swift death that moved us on to the next world.

That one had been more difficult to work with.

A young world, still in the throes of it's creation with a cauldron of erupting volcanoes and boiling oceans. Ripping apart the soft mantle to let gouts of magma spill out into the air, fighting to get currents of air strong enough to carry said magma into the Ouroboros at speeds fast enough to actually damage it had been...taxing.

And then we were onto the next world, afforded no rest or respite as the Ouroboros called forth yet _another_ realm to extend it's life.

I'm already on my last legs.

I've used Irappu's power on other planes of existence before, sure...but never so many and so _fast_.

I don't have a brain or nerve endings to actually feel the pain with...but my mind is slowing down bit by bit, a _compression_ of my thoughts that makes each successive jump harder and harder to comprehend, like a muscle so damaged that no force of will can make it move.

" _Horatius! This isn't working, you need to come up with some kind of-"_

" _Alternate plan, I know! I'm open to ideas!"_

There's a moment of frustrated silence from Scáthach, only broken by Altera's uncharacteristically intense words of, _"Master, the Ouroboros was slower to transition to a new world when you encapsulated it in the molten rock. During the other deaths it was swift to affect a change...not so with the other. Perhaps it is unable to make use of it's power when under constant siege?"_

That...sort of makes sense. Irappu's 'attacks' are a kind of conceptual weapon, granted the power of permanency by grace of Gaia itself. Aside from the time I had trapped it in the lava sphere, most of the other death's had been relatively 'quick' and hadn't lasted for long. The lightning strike, while powerful, had no constant aftereffect...same with the moonlet and earthquake.

But the magma...that had been a _continuous_ barrage of both heat and pressure…was it unable to activate it's Reality Marble power because it had been repeatedly 'dying' too quickly to act?

Could I find a way to replicate replicate that and actually _win_ this?

I examine my surroundings as the transfer to the newest world is complete…

And smirk.

Well...at least the incorporeal equivalent of a smirk.

This new world is a dead, rocky one, sure...but above it is a planetary ring.

Uncountable bits and pieces of rock and ice, feeling like a flock of birds circling overhead through Irappu's perceptions.

 _Perfect_.

" _Great observation, Altera! We've got a way out of this!"_

Gilgamesh's now unfamiliar voice rings out, her voice bewildered as she asks, _"What?! How?!"_

I stretch my senses towards the gently circling ring overhead, preparing to gamble everything on this one move-

" _I'm going to bring the fucking sky down on it's head."_

And then I _pull_.

Forcing every last bit of concentration I can afford into my connection with Irappu, the sky...begins to _shift_.

The Ouroboros Dragon evidently caught onto the fact that I wasn't physically present, instead lazily floating across the sky, obviously daring me to try and match it in strength.

Which makes it a nice, easy target that doesn't have a _clue_ what's coming it's way.

The first hint it gets that things are about to go sideways is a minor brightening of the landscape, an ethereal glow that causes the serpent to turn it's head-

-and slitted eyes of obsidian widen as it see's the _entire horizon_ catch on fire.

Millions, billions...likely _trillions_ of space-borne particles coming shrieking out of orbit, the majority catching fire and burning up in the atmosphere as they answer my call...a subtle twist of the planet's gravitational pull affecting _only_ the orbital ring and leaving everything else intact.

That step completed, I turn my attention to something equally as difficult. Tearing into this thing with only the approaching meteor storm won't do the trick...I need to make sure it _keeps_ going, doesn't die out...a planetwide hurricane (or at least a rocky world with no ocean's equivalent) fits the bill.

Performing the planet scale equivalent of filling my lungs with as much air as I can and then blowing, marauding gusts kick up across the surface in visible swathes of destruction, stone torn from it's foundation and added to the slowly growing tornado that could dwarf North America in size.

And then the previously orbiting debris hit.

It's the flash of light that's first noticeable, a glow of such powerful intensity that even their re-entry looked like a flickering candle in comparison.

Then the _noise_.

A simple _roar_ , of such magnitude that were anyone else alive on this rock they could hear it from across the globe...at least before their eardrums ruptured.

The Ouroboros vanishes from my perception, body completely destroyed by the equivalent of hundreds of nukes slamming into it at several times the speed of sound...and then I _squeeze_.

The continent sized storm I'd created compresses in on itself, constantly fighting the released energy from the meteor strikes in order to stay active...and it does so, creating a rotating funnel of heat and pressure that will ideally wear away at the Dragon's ability to sustain itself, killing it before it can make another universe shift.

If I had teeth to grit, they'd be causing my head to ache. C'mon you _barosus_ fool...we're _this close_ to making it out alive, last push!

The firestorm grows more and more violent, _melting_ it's way through the planet and setting what little atmosphere there is on fire, a growing tidal wave of energy emanating from where the Ouroboros _had_ been as it no doubt tries to fight it's way out of the storm...and I don't give it an inch.

Fucking _die_ already you cheating lizard!

The universe seems to tilt on it's axis-

* * *

-and my senses kindly inform me we're back on the planet of origin where we'd started, the rocky and snow covered landscape a comforting 'sight'.

I don't waste a moment in dropping the connection between me and Irappu, feeling my old flesh and blood remake itself-

-and I immediately collapse, a migraine that could kill an Apostle Ancestor tearing through my skull and the already overheated Circuits seemingly upping their game by a couple dozen degrees.

The patch of snow my cheek finds goes up in a gout of steam and trickling water, something warm, sticky and _hot_ leaking out of my nose.

Oh...heh, it's blood.

Well...I guess that makes sense. What with my brain and raises body temperature, I guess my nasal blood vessels practically _melted_.

Sure would explain that itching agony right between my eyes…

Something bumps into my shoulder and through hazy, bleary eyes I see... Scáthach? It's hard to tell…

Well...if she can still materialize then there's a chance I might make it out of here alive.

Hehe...rhyming.

A brief roll of my eyes shows what _looks_ like the Ouroboros Dragon pitifully thrashing in the background, it's hard to tell.

Well, we haven't been eaten yet...I guess I did it.

Two hands place themselves on my cheeks-a sensation that seems alarmingly distant-and what _feels_ like Scáthach's lips place themselves on my own, _something_ nice and cool transferring into me…

…

Fuck, I wish I was more lucid right now. Kissing Scáthach is _always_ fun.

…

I think I'm passing out now.

Fingers crossed I don't actually die, I don't feel like getting an up close and personal tour of Avernus...

* * *

Tobio

You know, both Sei and I had a bad feeling about this assignment before we had even started on it.

What with the sudden reappearance of Rizevim Lucifer, the involvement of a Longinus wielder, Horatio-san's sudden addition to our group...too many odd coincidences had been adding up for our liking and it was with no small amount of caution that we left the hotel to begin scouting out the area, seeing if there were any overt clues we might be able to find and getting a feel for the land.

So imagine our equal parts surprise and resignation when the horizon had lit up with golden light and released Demonic energy.

Golden light eerily similar to what had killed the Jabberwocky.

Looks like Sei's suspicions of Horatio-san being more than he appeared were pretty spot on.

What _had_ caught us _completely_ off guard was the appearance of the Ouroboros Dragon.

We'd heard from Azazel-sama that Ophis' powers had been stolen, but hadn't had a clue where they ended up.

In the hands of Rizevim as an Ophis clone is _definitely_ bad news.

…

It may be bad news...but both me and Sei running _towards_ the light show that had abruptly stopped almost a minute ago certainly counts as a bad _idea_.

"Tobio, can you or Jin-kun sense anything? Me and Leo haven't had any luck..."

My partner just shakes his head as he runs alongside us, prompting me to reply with, "No, nothing. There had been such an intense battle...and it ended just like that? Seems suspicious."

"And we're headed directly towards said suspiciousness. Tobio, sometimes I wonder if we're dumb."

I'm about to reply with something hopefully comforting when Jin barks and picks up his pace, running over a slight hill with his tail wagging up a storm.

"Well, dumb or not, seems like we've picked up on something..."

We fall silent after that, keeping our eyes peeled and senses sharp.

Not that we need to have bothered, since all that greets us as Jin skids to a stop is who I recognize from the hasty briefing as Valerie Tepes...sitting cross legged in the middle of what looks like a warzone, craters and gouges torn out of the landscape as she hums a cheery tune to herself.

...Ok?

Her crimson eyes abruptly turn towards us as we approach, her voice cheerful as she says, "Oh, Ikuse-san and Toujou-san! You're here just like Samuel-kun said you would be!"

I warily eye the Sephiroth Graal wielder-surprised that she's speaking fluent Japanese-and carefully ask, "You know who we are?"

"Certainly! Oh, you should be prepared to help Horatius-san, they're about to come back from fighting the Orouboros Dragon."

...HUH?!

True to her casually uttered words there's a sound that could reasonably pass for an ocean liner being ripped in half at the seams-

-and a gargantuan Dragon smashes into the ground no more than thirty meters away, plaintive wails and growls emanating from it as it weakly rolls back and forth.

…

Sweet _Kami_...that's the Ouroboros Dragon.

And it's _dying_.

Jin can sense the rapidly declining level of power in the now humbled creature and even visually it's rather obvious, what with shadowy smoke and ash rising from the scales and being scattered to the winds, it's very body structure collapsing before our eyes.

…

I don't believe it.

Yes, the imitation Dragon only had somewhere around a quarter or third of the original's power...but this is the _Ouroboros_ Dragon.

With a final, rattling gasp the gargantuan creature goes limp, the rest of it's flesh scattering into the ether with a noise like paper being blown across the street.

…

Right, I've got a job to do.

I can have a mental breakdown later.

Jin suddenly lopes forward with a bark, Leo following in his wake as the two Avatar-type Sacred Gears lock onto something.

And I think I know what- _who_ -it is.

"Sei, set up a teleport back to Grigori headquarters and get Tepes-san ready for the transfer, I'll see what those two found!"

"Ok, be careful!"

Sprinting after the Gears I clear an upturned boulder-

-and witness a rather unusual sight.

Sprinting towards me at a pace that would outstrip most Knight pieces is a woman with dark crimson hair, clad in a bodysuit with bits and pieces of ebony armor protecting her shoulders, arms and legs.

A fairly close match to one of the warriors who took down the Jabberwocky.

…Oh, and she's carrying Horatio-san bridal style, the man clearly unconscious.

A quick glance at Leo and Jin shows them intensely staring at the approaching woman...but not acting aggressive, which puts me at ease.

I don't fancy a fight with someone who took down the Ouroboros.

I slow my pace as we close the distance-

-and I abruptly find Horatio-san shoved into my arms, worry and malevolence written across the woman's face as she practically teleports in front of me.

"I don't have time to explain things, Ikuse. Get him to a medic, doctor or whatever _now_."

More than a little caught off guard by her sudden vehemence Jin and Leo threateningly growl-

-and all three of us are silenced as a crimson spear manifests in her hand, ruby eyes flashing with open fury as she hisses, "That wasn't a _suggestion_. Save him first, we'll answer questions later. _MOVE_."

…

I have no shame in admitting that I turn on my heel and sprint back towards Sei with posthaste, momentarily caught off guard by the woman fading away into nothingness amidst a burst of crimson light.

I've spent enough time among Supernatural females to know that you _don't_ argue with them when they have that open air of violence hanging about.

I've seen what happens to Azazel-sama enough times to be convinced.

Glancing down at Horatio-san I can't help but flinch at the clear signs of abuse he's sporting.

Dried blood streams from his nose while his eyes are sunken into his skull, bruised and sallow to an alarming degree.

And don't even get me _started_ on his body temperature, which feels more like someone dumped a smoldering log into my grasp than it does a Human being.

I guess killing the Ouroboros imitation didn't come cheap…

…

Well, I think we can call this mission a tentative success. We retrieved Valerie Tepes, found the mysterious warriors that showed up out of nowhere _and_ killed the imitation Ouroboros allied with the Old Satan Faction.

All while Sei and I barely even had to lift a finger, not to mention weren't even _there_.

A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I glance down at the unconscious male, muttering, "A lot of people are gonna have a lot of questions for you, friend. Here's hoping you pull through..."

* * *

 **Whew, this update was quite a bit more delayed than the previous ones but I blame school, applying for internships and finding a new place to live (including vetting roomates).  
**

 **But here we are, and we get a look at just what Horatius and Irappu can do when given the freedom to be inventive, as well as some of the limitations they can run into.**

 **I took alot of creative liberties with Lilith/Ophis' powers, mostly drawing on what bits of lore and spoken word are attributed to her throughout the novels, since, well...her actual contributions are mostly just giving people boosts and getting nerfed by Samael.**

 **Lllllaaaaammmeeeee.**

 **I was actually bewildered by a few reviews that somehow interpreted my AN's as an admission that a DxD character would be turned into a Heroic Spirit. While I applaud your imagination, I have NO idea how that would even happen, even considering the absolutely goofy 'rules' that govern both universes (but then that's half the fun).**

 **Besides, the mystery (which didn't even stay mysterious for very long, now that I think about it) 'Heroic Spirit' that'll be included is none other than Tiamat.**

 **Yup, that apocalypse in the making is going to be making an appearance and it's without a doubt going to cause a few cosmic hiccups.**

 **Fun :D**

 **And yes, I know Grand Order suggests that she's lacking a distinct 'personality' but I'm working a different angle here. Besides, Horatius and her first met thousands of years ago, millennia of isolation does strange things to people.**

 **Other than that, next chapter is going to be all about the meeting between the two casts of characters, THAT is going to be mayhem and enjoyment incarnate! Stay tuned!**

 **Oh, and Gil won't be in her younger form for long, but in the interim writing her that way is gonna be a blast.**

 **WARNING! SALTY RANT INCOMING! WARNING! SALTY RANT INCOMING!**

 **So I recently (about a few weeks ago) tried to get back into F/GO after not playing it for about 7-8 months. I'd initially quit because despite using the increased 5* character drop events with 30+ Saint Quartz like 9 or 10 times I only ever got ONE 4* Servant, Tamamo Cat, and nothing else.  
**

 **Oh, but I DID get like 9 5* Craft Essences, so yay for useless junk. The total lack of good deals for micro transactions turned me off as well and I moved onto different games.**

 **So imagine my surprise when I decided to return, go through the updates and find something like 180 SQ in my bank, leftovers from my previous collecting, maintenance gifts and the anniversary gifts or something like that.**

 **SURELY I can get something good out of these, right?**

 **Fuck no.**

 **180 Quartz and 6 enhanced drops later I didn't get a SINGLE 4 or 5 star Servant...and got 7 5* star craft essences.**

 **So either the Drop rate chances are outright lying or I'm the unluckiest son of a bitch when it comes to this game, neither particularly compelling reasons to keep playing.**

 **And out of morbid curiosity I checked to see if any new sorts of deals had been added to the store...nope.**

 **The part that made me legit angry though?**

 **The 'best' deal the store has is for 140 SQ at $80.00**

 **I had 40 more than that so let's just assume that's $100.00 worth of SQ there.**

 **I could have spent $100.00 on this stupid game...and gotten NOTHING I wanted or was barely even useful.**

 **Yes yes, luck plays a role and I'm sure many players just RAKE in the 5* characters...I didn't.**

 **ONE**

 **HUNDRED**

 **DOLLARS**

 **FUCK this game.**

 **...**

 **Actually, if you take into account all my previous rolls as well it's more like $200.00**

 **Double fuck this game.**

 **WHINY 1ST WORLD BABY RANT OVER! WHINY 1ST WORLD BABY RANT OVER!**

 **Kinunatsz The Eternal:** **Yeah, given the opportunity to really put the pedal to the medal the three would have given one Hell of a fight...unfortunately they were handicapped in this scenario but no worries...there's a time I have planned for them to _really_ shine ;]  
**

 **And trust me...alot of people who read the 'wiki' are in for surprises. THAT is a bit I want to cover in excruciating detail.**

 **Sgn: Not sure who Holo is or what Beast is referring to...so I'm gonna play it safe and say 'no'.**

 **Bisaster: Well in terms of raw power...Tiamat definitely fits the bill. And while she isn't a Heroic Spirit, she has a part to play, a rather significant one really. Stay tuned for that, the interaction between those two is one I want to play with extensively :D**

 **Greyjedi449t:** **glad to hear you doing so!**

 **A 'Reincarnated'** **Writer:** **Lilith is out of the running, courtesy of several world-destroying powers in a row, and Rizevim is on the chopping block for certain...he just doesn't know it yet. And while both of those Phantasms have been used so far, it's not the last time we'll see them.**

 **Guest** **1:** **As stated above, no DxD character is becoming a Servant or anything like that.**

 **On a more confused note, is that plot-point so common as to be a cliche? I don't think I've ever read a story that does that.**

 **And quite frankly I think the DxD cast would be more afraid of ORT than they would Primate. I mean, considering most of them are Devil's, Angels, Yokai and all sorts of other goodness they could at least go with the optimistic approach of, 'hey, we're not _technically_ Human, right?'**

 **ORT is just a mess of 'nope' by comparison.**

 **123: See above review :D**

 **fire99: Trust me, as fun as it is writing the interplay between Phantasms and Magic and mcguffins...it's the social interplay that I REALLY want to do, stuff the next chapter is going to cover. Stay tuned!**

 **Temsen: Pfft, lollipops are the way to go. They last longer, giving you more time to run away!**

 **Beast Mode92: Oh brother...I have SO many ideas for stories that I wish I could write...but there's only so much time in the day and I already have three stories I'd like to complete as is...and even once their done I'm frothing at the bit to finish up my old Xenoblade X story and do an Evangelion one...busy times indeed, lol.**

 **Rawrking: Damn son, you could cook a whale with flames those intense.**

 **Guest 2:** **Yup, every chapter is gonna have some sort of flashback or interplay of Horatius' past.**

 **alienvx0: Was really freaking confused as to what you were talking about, then realized that bit slipped past my final editing process (I'd originally done the math and came to the same conclusion). Altered now to be a good 170-180 mph, which if you've ever seen a car go by you at that speed...is REALLY Goddamn fast, real eyeblink level stuff.**

 **PikaMew1288: Evidently it's not _quite_ as easy as that. And if Heracles was able to break out of Enkidu then a giant cosmic Dragon with dominion over several worlds could probably do the same no biggie :D**

 **As always appreciate the reviews and feedback, See you all next chapter!**


	5. Welcome to DxD

Chapter 5: Welcome to DxD

Issei

"Identification?"

For a guard of one of the Grigori's supposedly super-effective, super-secret special ops teams...she sure sounds bored.

But those _boobs_ , man...and that leather bodysuit just completes that femme fatale look!

"Ara Ara, Issei...back from the dead so soon and already eyeing up another woman? Obviously I need to try harder to keep your attention, fufufu~..."

"A-Akeno-san, it's not like that! I was just-"

"Totally eyeing up my tits. You're definitely the Breast Dragon Emperor all right..."

Ddraig releases a plaintive sob from somewhere in the back of my mind and I can only sheepishly scratch the back of my head at the guard's words.

Well, nothing new about being caught in the act.

"Ok, you're all clear to go. Slash Dog will show you to where you're needed."

Buchou-no, it's _Rias_ now-professionally nods and leads us inside the safehouse, located somewhere in Grigori territory.

They hadn't exactly been open with where one of their secret bases was located _exactly_...which makes sense, I guess.

"Ok, is everyone ready?"

" _Hai, Buchou!"_

"Good! Now let's finally meet our idol-I mean, _patients_."

...It's ok, Rias.

I really want to see these _Fate_ characters as well, what hot-blooded male wouldn't?!

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity here!

Sucks to be you, Saji…

"Ah, so you're the ORC, correct?"

I snap out of my thoughts and focus on the soft spoken words, coming from _another_ damn pretty boy, of all people! No matter how much I've come to consider him one of my best friends, one Kiba is enough, thank you!

"Yes, that's us. I am Rias Gremory and this is my Peerage. My Queen, Akeno Himejima. Rooks Rossweisse Magnhild and Koneko Toujou. Knights Kiba Yuuto and Xenovia Quarta. Bishops Gasper Vladi and Asia Argento. And finally my pawn, Issei Hyoudou."

There was an awkward silence.

"...And this is Ophis, the um...Ouroboros Dragon."

The pretty boy with black hair and fair features seems to take this in stride as Ophis stoically stands beside us and nods with a small smile before replying, "It's very nice to meet you, members of the ORC. My name is Tobio Ikuse, although I suppose Slash Dog is appropriate as well. Thank you for arriving so quickly, With Azazel-sama gone I wasn't sure if-"

"E-excuse me!"

My eyes widen as I realize that interruption came from _Gasper_ _-kun_ of all people. Shy, stick-his-head-in-a-bag-and-don't-make-eye-contact Gasper.

"I-is it true that this person rescued someone named Valerie Tepes? Is she here, is she ok?"

Obviously caught off guard by the sudden outburst-Hell, I think we _all_ are-Ikuse-san just shrugs and points to a door down the hallway.

"Knock and ask for a Sae Toujou, she's my girlfriend and will let you in. Bear in mind that Valerie-san is...a bit out of it."

Gasper-kun doesn't seem to hear that and runs off down the hallway, Rias obviously wanting to go after him but unwilling to abandon her current responsibilities.

"While I hate to interrupt such an obviously emotional moment, can I borrow Argento-san for the time being? While Horatio-san doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger _Twilight Healing's_ renowned healing power can only benefit him. We might get some answers that way."

We all exchange a questioning glance.

"Horatio-san?"

"Oh, my apologies. That's the name of the man who is in charge of these 'Spirits' as people are taking to calling them. It's been rather busy the past few days, I haven't really had a chance to sit down and read the material Azazel-sama provided to us."

We nod and fall in step behind Ikuse-san, the pretty boy leading us further into the depths of the Grigori safehouse. After almost a minute of walking we arrive at some plain appearing door, guarded only by a single black-furred dog that looks at Ikuse-san before happily thumping it's tail once.

"Here we are. Once inside...well, don't make any sudden movements. Jin made that mistake and almost got stabbed by a spear when he tried to bite the man on the nose..."

"Why was he trying to bite him on the nose?"

Ikuse-san shrugs as if embarrassed.

"I think he was just trying to wake him up and it got misinterpreted as hostile. I'll be outside if you need anything."

I nervously gulp as Ikuse-san unlock the door, Rias doing the same. We're...we're actually doing this. We get to see the real life versions of people we always thought were fantasy. It's a dream come true!

Rias eagerly power walks inside, me right on her heels...and get our first look at this, 'Horatio-san'.

...While he's no pretty boy, my masculinity still feels threatened. He has Sairaorg-san's build but is noticeably shorter and a tad slimmer, only landing at around 1.75 meters and has a leaner frame. His face has that chiseled handsomeness with tan skin and dark curly hair, a peaceful expression on his features as he rests on a large bed located in the corner of the unadorned room.

I take back what I said about pretty boys. These Fight Club Sons of Bitches are worse and can all just go die.

"Asia, please begin. The sooner he's awake the sooner we can start grillin-er, I mean, _politely asking_ him for information."

"Of course, Rias-sempai."

Asia-chan steps forward to place her hands on the sleeping Douchechad-

-and we all tense as a crimson, barbed spear suddenly appears right next to Rias' neck.

"Now now, easy does it children...while I don't doubt you are only here to help _purely_ out of the goodness of your heart...I think I'll play it safe and keep your precious 'Rias-sempai' here under my careful watch. No hard feelings, right~?"

...Huh?

Standing behind Rias is Scáthach _herself_ , that killer body of hers on full display in that sexy bodysuit, dark-crimson hair hanging loose with a friendly smile on her slim lips and crimson eyes half-closed.

...If only she wasn't _this close_ to killing Rias.

"U-um, Scáthach-san? I think there may be a misunderstanding here..."

Rias does a valiant job of trying to explain away any awkwardness that may have arisen from this encounter...and the bombshell of a lady only narrows her eyes further, friendly smile dropped in an instant.

"Indeed there is, hopefully on my part. I would _like_ to believe you have no malicious intentions and am merely making a fool of myself by threatening you...but I prefer not to take chances around beings of Magic, such as yourself. And besides..."

The spear drifts ever so closer to Rias' jugular, the rest of us summoning weapons in preparation to defend our King as I call the _Boosted Gear_ to my arm.

"I have yet to tell anyone we've met my name. I'm curious to know why _you_ know it."

...Oh.

Crap. We didn't realize how _weird_ it probably sounds for a complete stranger to list off stuff they know about you that should be personal.

Rias keeps her cool though- _damn_ she's so awesome-and merely turns to Asia-chan before calmly telling her, "Asia, begin the healing if you would. I'll be fine."

With a clearly wary expression Asia-chan turns towards Douchepitt regardless, palms splayed outwards as _Twilight Healing_ activates and creates a gentle emerald glow.

A few minutes of nervous tension pass, Scáthach's weapon never shifting a millimeter as her eyes bore into both Asia-chan and Rias.

Thankfully Asia-chan releases a relieved sigh after a few moments and cheerfully says, "Ok, that about does it. He should be waking up in a-"

A hand snakes out from beneath the bedsheets and grabs Asia-chan by the throat in a blurring motion that I barelyeven _register_ , her words dying off in a brief 'gack' noise, the other hand manifesting some kind of knife weapon that streaks towards her eye-

-shit, I'm not gonna make it-

-and the blade is stopped dead by a thin, dark-skinned arm that seemingly came out of nowhere.

"Master, murdering the one who healed your body is not a very polite way of saying thank you."

The room breathes a collective sigh of relief that our resident healer is unharmed...but isn't this first meeting off to kinda a lousy start?

…

But holy _crap_ , Altera is so cuuuute~!

That _almost_ expressionless face, slight downturn to her lips, sexy tribal clothing...ahh, it's enough to make a young man wistfully sigh…

"Ah, sorry about that, blonde Miss. I tend to be jumpy after waking up from unconsciousness. Thanks for the healing, by the way. Or at least, I'm assuming it was you."

Asia-chan massages her throat and still offers a friendly smile, replying, "It was my pleasure, Horatio-san. And don't worry, no lasting harm done."

Ahh, Asia-chan is so nice and innocent…

"Hardly, 'no lasting harm done'! You almost killed my precious servant! What kind of person attacks another immediately after they come back from being unconscious?!"

I glance back towards an understandably angry Rias-wait, where did Scáthach go?!

I whirl around and find the crimson-haired warrior already kneeling at Douchepitt's side alongside Altera, both of them apparently having forgotten us. As expected of a Heroic Spirit…

"To answer that, Miss Redhead, the kind of person where waking up after a particularly strong knock on the head was almost always a hostile situation. Whether it was handlers, slaves or spiders, you learn to punch first and ask questions never."

...That was an odd explanation.

Everyone else seems to agree with my thoughts but doesn't ask further questions.

Douchepitt also proceeds to ignore us and a fuming Rias-hey, that's kinda rude, considering we were the ones who healed you-in favor of turning to the hot ladies at his side.

"How long was I out? Everyone's ok, right?"

"We are. And you were unconscious for 12 hours, Master. Were it not for Mr. Ikuse kindly rushing you back to this location for emergency treatment you might not have made it, there was little we could do given your condition. And the Vampire was...otherwise engaged?"

"She was absentmindedly staring at nothing?"

"Yes, Master."

...I get the distinct impression they've gone from ignoring us to outright forgetting us.

"Well, I actually feel pretty good right now, considering I basically melted myself."

Scáthach suddenly kneels and lays a hand on Douchepitt's own, her tone _worried_ as she whispers, "That's the closest you've come to dying in _centuries,_ Horatius. We honestly didn't know if you were going to make it...don't make light of this."

Oi, this is getting kinda heavy...and what's this lucky bastard, having Scáthach and Altera all worried about him?!

And why did she call him Horatius? Is that his real name or a nickname? I thought it was Horatio...

He seems to soften a bit, gently picking up the badass woman's hand in his own and replying so softly that I almost don't hear it even with enhanced hearing.

"We will not be alone, not again. Besides, how could I leave you hanging like that? You're nothing if not a sound skin."

To my utter shock Scáthach _laughs_ , a husky sound that gives all of us shivers and even kuudere Altera smiles brightly.

...What the Hell does, 'a sound skin' mean?

Then they fall silent for a bit and I would think they're just being pretty chill and enjoying the moment if it wasn't for the way their eyes keep flicking back and forth between us and each other.

...They're probably communicating telepathically or something like that. Damn this Douchepitt! He's in so deep with such sexy beauties and they even seem to reciprocate his lovey-dovey crap! SO NOT COOL!

"Ahem!"

Oh, right...important stuff going on right now. Good thing Rias is focused.

"So should I assume your name is actually Horatius-san, not Horatio?"

Douchepitt seems to finally remember we're in the same room and briefly gazes over all of us...and I have to hide my instinctive shiver of surprise.

His eyes are _dark,_ the iris the same pitch-black as the pupil, making it look like two voids are sweeping over us.

That's _creepy_.

"That's correct, Miss Redhead. And on that subject where is Mr. Ikuse? Seems I owe him my thanks for dragging my half-dead carcass all the way back here. And apologize for using a sort of false name."

"Why were you using a false name to begin with? Aren't you from another universe?"

All eyes turn towards me and I sheepishly scratch the back of my head.

"Er...sorry for the spoiler?"

Douchepitt looks at me with an uncomfortable level of intensity, his voice soft as he muses, "And I wonder how you know _that_..."

Thankfully Rias cuts in and asks, "If you don't mind me asking, Horatius-san, before we answer that question may we know what it is you're trying to accomplish here in the first place? You have my gratitude for rescuing Valerie-san, since she is a dear friend of one of my precious Servants, but it sounds like you caused a great deal of damage to the Tepes faction of Vampires and they want to know just what is going on and who is responsible."

Douchepitt's gaze again hardens when Rias mentions the word 'servants' but he doesn't comment on it, instead shrugging and explaining, "Well since you seem to know we're not from around these parts...we're here to keep something from your universe causing trouble in ours. At the moment our best guess is that it's either the Ouroboros Dragon or Great Red that is the cause of this trouble. And while I thought we'd successfully taken down the Ouroboros..."

His eyes narrow even as us of the ORC mentally freeze at his words.

Wait...he killed Ophis?! But why would there be two Ouroboros Dragons? Ikuse-san didn't say anything about that!

"It seems like we _missed_ a spot..."

The tension in the room ratchets up a notch _again_ as we realize Douchepitt-along with the Heroic Spirits-are glaring at Ophis.

...Uh oh.

We ready for a fight as Ophis steps forward-if she's still lacking most of her power, this could turn nasty-and she merely cocks her head at the trio.

"You are, like me and Stupid, Red..."

...What?

Douchepitt and the two Hero's seem to get what she's asking...but the Spirits are merely wary while Douchepitt seems more curious.

"I'm like you? Strange, I don't _think_ I'm a pedophiles wet dream. Seriously, what's up with the nipple tape and colonial-style bloomers?"

Ophis doesn't react to that aside from blinking once before adding, "You are, an idea...the idea of, destruction."

…

I think I'm missing some context here. An Idea? Of destruction? What the Hell?

Douchepitt seems to take it in stride though, merely quirking one side of his mouth upwards before replying, "Believe it or not, I'm retired from the whole 'destruction' business unless I specifically get called in to help. Mostly I just travel around these days, enjoying my pension. And I'm not _exactly_ an idea, I'm still mostly Human."

...So much of that conversation just went over my head.

Ophis _looks_ like she gets it though...but it's kinda hard to tell. She isn't really the most expressive of people.

"Lilith...she wants to apologize for, attacking you. She doesn't want, to be hurt again."

Lilith? Like the city?

Douchepitt seems just as confused as me until he suddenly snaps his fingers in seeming understanding.

"Ah, so Lilith was the other you?"

"...Yes."

"Mind if I ask what happened to her? If she's able to tell you she wants to apologize it sounds like she's not as dead as I initially thought. Or hoped."

...That seems a little harsh.

"She is back, in the Dimensional Gap. With, the rest of my power."

"The _rest_ of your power?"

Ophis doesn't reply to that, instead entering into a sort of staring contest with the three while the rest of us just kinda stand around awkwardly.

Should...should we say something?

Douchepitt suddenly sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before turning to Scáthach.

"So we went to the trouble of having a pitched, last-ditch battle against the Ouroboros Dragon...only to give the Ouroboros more power than it had before? Did we accidentally inherit your favorite student's luck?"

"I think it more likely we have been spending too much time around Emiya. He seems to draw misfortune the way raw meat draws flies."

...Holy shit, they're talking about the Eroge King like they know him, personally!

"...I thank, you."

The sudden proclamation catches us all off guard, a single eyebrow on Douchepitt and Scáthach's face rise in surprise, Altera not visibly reacting.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around Ophis so openly _thanking_ someone.

"Thanks? For what? Killing-except not really-your evil twin?"

"My power is now, no one else's but my own. Through, Lilith I can begin to regain, it."

"...Does regaining your power also mean you'll learn proper sentence diction?"

"Is there something, wrong with the way I, speak?"

"...Never mind. Regardless, I'd like to ask you a question, Ouroboros."

"Ok."

Douchepitt narrows his eyes.

"You said your power was in the Dimensional Gap and mentioned a 'Stupid Red'. I'm assuming you're talking about Great Red, correct me if I'm wrong, but here's my question. Do either you or Great Red have any intention whatsoever of attacking other worlds? Of leaving this one in favor of another?"

...Well there's a loaded question.

"No. I want, my silence and home, back. Stupid Red just, does stunts all day. Threat only, to self."

Douchepitt and the bombshell ladies glance at each other briefly before the dark-eyed dude sighs, wryly muttering, "Well that's good news and all...but now we're back at the drawing board. And go figure Kischur isn't the only manchild out there..."

Rias apparently can't contain herself at being ignored for so long as she archly asks, "Oh? Just like that, you believe her?"

Douchepitt just gives a smirk that _screams_ , 'I know something you don't'. It kinda makes me want to punch him.

"In my experience, Miss Red, beings such as the Ouroboros here are rather terrible at lying since they've never had to do so before. So yes, I believe her."

As if that was some invisible signal Ophis calmly walks forward-

-and sits herself in Altera's lap.

...What?

"And just _what_ do you think you're doing, Ouroboros?"

Scáthach's hostile response and glare leaves us speechless, Ophis merely settling back further into the tan woman's lap, her reply bland.

"She is quiet, and soothing. I, like her."

...Altera blinks once before resting her arms across the smaller girl's form, crimson eyes not displaying any outward emotion.

I want to sit in Altera's lap, no fair!

Douchepitt just looks at the scene with a blank expression before rubbing his eyes as if exasperated.

"Like picking up a stray fucking cat..."

Akeno just let's loose a familiar giggle as the dude from another universe turns towards Rias, his expression far icier than it was before.

"My turn to ask. And mine is real simple. _How_ did you know we're not from around here?"

Rias opens her mouth-

-and falters, clearly not sure how to proceed.

Not that I have a clue either. I mean, how do you explain to somebody that they're just a fictional universe in this one?

...I guess you just show them wikipedia articles, which Rias does with a noticeable amount of trepidation as she nervously hands Douchepitt her phone with no further comment.

Not replying the dude starts reading it without a single change in expression, the two spirits leaning over his shoulder with similarly blank expressions.

Seconds turn into almost an entire minute of stony silence.

C'mon, say something!

Finally, after almost two minutes of agonizing tension...Douchepitt _sighs_.

"Seriously? _This_ shit again?"

* * *

Michael

Several centuries ago, had one of my brothers or sisters told me that I would be guarding and guiding Heaven in the manner Father used to...I would have laughed, maybe lightly joked that Heaven would fall apart at the seams in less than a week.

Instead it's merely taken hundreds of years, and even with the newly formed peace and introduction of the Brave Saints system...our home is on the decline.

Not our numbers, at least not any more...and thank Father for that. But I was never God and never will be. The most I have ever been able to do is slow the degradation of our ancestral halls, draw out the inevitable collapse of a faith so complex that it still boggles my mind, no mater how long I've tied myself to it and bolstered it's operations. Ensuring that the faithful's souls reach their paradise, as well as maintaining the foundations of such a system, are a task only achievable by God, seeing as it was by his hand such a construct was even possible in the first place.

And the system has sorely missed his presence.

…

And yet...finally, after so _long_...this sorry state of affairs might change.

"Brother...are you sure about this? Sirzechs and Azazel will no doubt be hurt that you have gone behind their backs, maybe even consider it a betrayal...can this not wait a few more days?"

Gabriel's worried tone cause me to sadly smile.

"I fear that to wait will let this chance slip through our fingers, Sister. I will gladly sacrifice my trust, even my friendships, if it means Heaven will survive. I am a child that has just learned to walk attempting to run a marathon, I have been so for hundreds of years. I do not even know enough about Father's system to accurately guess _when_ it mightcollapse. But now? With a chance this potentially perfect right before us? I will take it, regardless of how unlikely it may be."

I had been surprised indeed when Bandersnatch had been so abruptly dealt with after those strange warrior's appearance and subsequent disappearance...even more so when it had been revealed by Sirzechs and Azazel that these warriors hailed from a supposedly fictional universe.

A universe where Gods with the same names-and origins-existed.

...A universe where Father _might still exist._

As foolish as it felt, searches through this unknown universes lore had revealed no details about Yahweh, only vague allusions to a Church somewhat similar to the one I am more familiar with.

And then Azazel has sent word to me that Slash Dog had encountered and housed this strange group of interdimensional travelers before he and Sirzechs confronted Hades.

...How could I let such an opportunity pass by me?

If there's a way to somehow take a God from their world and transfer it to ours...it's unlikely. Unlikely in the _extreme_.

But to once more have Father on the throne...even if it's not the God we knew and loved, we owe it to those who believe in Heaven and our Father of old to at least _try_.

"Very well, Brother...but I wish to come with you. After all, it's not often that one gets to meet those from a different place of existence!"

A small smile graces my lips.

Our home may be on the road of eventual collapse, there may be those who wish naught but for our deaths and destruction...yet nothing has ever seemed to douse Gabriel's enthusiasm for 'field trips'.

"Very well, let us depart immediately. The sooner we can confirm or deny this plan's feasibility, the sooner we can move on."

* * *

Issei

Seeing Douchepitt silently swipe through Rias' phone for the past fifteen minutes has been trying on our nerves, his poker face ironclad and not slipping one bit to reveal whatever it is he's thinking. Thankfully Scáthach has been a bit more talkative, fielding a few of our questions.

"You see, this isn't the first time we've encountered a situation like this before."

We all exchange confused glances.

"What do you mean?"

The spearwoman thoughtfully taps her chin before explaining, "About fifteen or so years ago we were traveling through a world quite similar to our own...except that it was mostly mundane."

Her crimson eyes narrow at us and I nervously gulp. Hey c'mon, what's with the hostility over here?!

"I'll assume you know the finer points of our world, seeing as you have a rather well-informed encyclopedia at your disposal. Regardless, this world had no Supernatural tinge to it. At all. It was governed by the laws of physics and nothing else. It _also_ just so happened to have an anime advertisement for a show called _Fate/Stay Night._ From there things just spiraled out of control and we realized amongst all the parallel worlds out there, some have other universes as works of fiction. In this case, ours."

...Holy _crap._

"So...does that mean somewhere, sometime, a person could be reading about _me?"_

Scáthach snorts at my question, causing her boobs to lightly jiggle.

"About your universe, about it's peculiarities? Most likely. About you specifically? Debatable."

...I feel like I just got kicked in the nuts…

She turns her attention back to Douchepitt before we can keep asking questions.

"Well, Horatius? Any conclusions you can draw? Or are you still a figment of someone's imagination?"

The dude _growls_ , Scáthach grinning impishly at his response.

"Apparently _I'm_ not important enough to rate an entry in here...but fucking _Laurentis_ does?! The only entry that rattlesnake deserves is on a 'most wanted' list!"

He huffs out an aggravated breath even as Scáthach kneels down next to him, her voice a husky purr as she whispers, "Oh boo hoo, Horatius. You know what Kischur said, you're existence is probably just a little _too_ unique and unlikely to be a constant across universes. You're _special_."

And then she kisses him on the cheek.

…

This motherfucker needs to die. Like right now.

And he doesn't even seem to enjoy it! Instead he just _scowls_ at her, the ungrateful prick! Trade places with me, dammit!

"If that's your attempt at consoling me, the cooing and patronizing doesn't really sell it."

The warrior woman just chuckles before he turns his attention back to the phone.

"Well if preliminary 'research' is anything to go by, we're in the 'Unlimited Blade Works' timeline. With about a bazillion minor differences but that's kinda to be expected...can I just say it's weird how an entire universe is named after something Emiya tries real hard to keep under wraps, lest the Association try to Clockwork Orange his ass?"

"Stranger things have happened. Or should I perhaps point out the fact that this 'article' is under the impression that random Human priests and Enforcers are of more import than you?"

Douchepitt smiles before running his hand through her hair in a gesture that's more than a _little_ familiar.

"Ok, now you're _really_ trying to make me feel better."

...I hate this man.

" _You jest and bemoan about your apparent lack of existence, Gladiator...but at least you are not subjected to the shame of a_ mistaken identity."

My eyes widen as golden light coalesces behind Douchepitt-

-and reveals a loli genderbent Gilgamesh.

…

It's...it's everything I ever wanted!

If only it was _my_ back she was resting her arms against, golden hair cascading down Douchepitt's side as she reads over his shoulder.

Douchepitt doesn't react-AGAIN-aside from glancing behind him as he asks, "And what do you mean by that?"

Those cute little features turn into a scowl, her voice an adorable growl and I can tell Rias is trying _very_ hard not to squeal in delight at the sight of child Gil.

"What I _mean_ , Gladiator, is that _I_ am not in these articles! Me! The truest version of myself, not that egotistical sham that was apparently _beaten_ by a second-rate Magus!"

"In your alternate self's defense, Emiya is a bit of a statistical outlier."

"That is _hardly_ an excuse."

I can't keep quiet any longer and blurt out, "Why are you a girl? I mean, I'm not complaining or anything, but isn't Gilgamesh a guy?"

Slitted crimson eyes slowly focus on me and oh shit this was probably _not_ a good idea. Matters aren't helped by that cute pout being replaced with a cold sneer.

"Of _course_ the Dragonling would only tear it's gaze away from ogling the King of Combat and Witch of Dun Scaith to ascertain whether I have tits or not. Honestly, I have seen beasts in mating season with less consistently lustful gazes..."

…

...It's like being back in Kuoh before becoming a Devil. That hateful gaze, condescending tone...all that's missing is a Shinai smacking me in the balls.

"Perhaps a neutering is in order, I can scarcely afford such filth polluting my garden after all~."

A Gate of Babylon appears in the middle of the room-

-and points a spear directly at my crotch.

I prefer the Shinai, I PREFER THE SHINAI!

"Queen of Heroes, let the poor man's junk live. Actually, forget that, what about _you?_ Are you alright?"

I try not to sob in relief as the portal disappears, loli-Gil's attention drawn by Douchepitt.

I try to ignore Scáthach's smirk at my expense.

"Of course I am fine, Gladiator. What possessed you to think otherwise?"

"Because the last time I remember seeing you you were almost cut in half, had to chug an aging potion and then were exhausted after firing off your most powerful Phantasm."

...Geez, that fight between them and this Lilith-chan must have been intense.

"You're concern is appreciated, Gladiator...but as you can see, I'm perfectly alright."

He nods in acceptance in that-

-before slumping forward and tossing Rias' phone back to her, his eyes drooping as he does so.

"While I hate to cut this lovely little first-contact meeting between us short...I'm more than a little under the weather here. Mind if we hold off on the questions until I get some rest?"

We all shift awkwardly, none more so than Rias.

We...didn't really _get_ any worthwhile or interesting information from them, never mind actually _befriend_ them or anything. All we really did was tell the group that we know they're from another universe and that's it.

 _They're_ the ones who got all sorts of info.

...But it'd be kinda rude to ask the obviously exhausted guy to keep talking, right? Not to mention Scáthach would probably get mad again...and Gil-chan almost destroyed my nuts if it wasn't for Douchepitt asking her to stop.

Rias must have come to the same conclusion as she sighs, briefly nodding her head and replying, "Very well, Horatius-san. Hopefully we can continue this conversation later, there is a great deal we wish to know about you and your circumstances."

Scáthach just glares for some reason, her tone uncomfortably neutral as she asks, "Oh? Don't you have every bit of information you could ever want, right at your disposal in that little phone of yours?"

...There's no good way to reply to that so we just make our exit, quietly shuffling out the door.

As we make our way to see Gasper, nodding to Ikuse-san as we pass, the mood is...pretty bad, actually.

"I don't think they liked us very much. Or am I reading too much into this?"

We all consider Kiba-kun's words, Rias visibly crestfallen.

"No, they definitely seemed...cold? Or at least not inclined to be open and truthful with us."

I'm sorry, Rias! If I hadn't opened my mouth about the whole parallel world thing things might have gone better!

"Ara ara, you and Issei seem quite miserable...were your idols not what you expected them to be?"

That's a bit of an understatement…

Rias just sighs and miserably mutters, "They didn't even ask for my _name_..."

Ouch. Yeah, that kinda sucks.

"What about you, Ophis-chan? What did you...think..."

…

Where did Ophis-chan go?

* * *

Horatius

"And just _why_ are you still here, Ouroboros?"

Scáthach's tone suggests she's biting back on a scowl, eyes boring into the rather odd sight that is 'Ophis' as she settles herself deeper into Altera's grasp.

"...She is, quiet. I do not, want to leave..."

…

Yeah I'm not gonna touch this one with a ten-foot pole and just accept that it is what it is.

"Hey, Ouroboros-or Ophis, whichever you prefer-you said earlier you and this Great Red aren't planning on leaving anytime soon. Do you have any idea what _might_ be making such a journey?"

She tilts her head, obviously giving my question a fair bit of thought before monotonely replying, "Lilith says that Rizevim, and Evil Dragons want to go, to a new world. And call, me Ophis."

Not particularly helpful.

"We already knew that, they weren't exactly subtle and practically shouted their plan at us. And while they were certainly powerful-"

Gilgamesh snorts and mutters, "Not _that_ powerful..."

"-they were more along the lines of a red or orange threat, rather than a black one. Something else must have triggered the warning."

Ophis adorably cocks her head in the opposite direction-ok, thinking of the universe devouring concept as cute is dangerous, _stop_ it, idiot-and then explains, "Lilith says that Rizevim, and Evil Dragons want to, free something."

"Free something?"

"Something like, us."

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

Of _course_ that's what we're dealing with here. _Another_ bloody monster comprised more of ideas than it is flesh…

"And I don't suppose you know what or where this thing is?"

She-it, I dunno-shakes her head in the negative.

"Well, it's a good thing we saved that Valerie girl...because it looks like we're going to be asking her to give us a helping hand."

"As I suspected, unfortunately."

I nod at Scáthach's dry tone before letting my head fall back onto the pillow with a dull _thump_.

 _Christ_ I'm tired...while that nun girl did an excellent job healing all the damage that was done to me, evidently she couldn't do anything about the considerable levels of fatigue I built up.

"Gladiator? Are you well?"

I cast an amused-albeit droopy-glance at the Golden Queen, her youthful features scrunched up in mild concern, prompting me to sigh.

"Yeah, I'll be fine once I've gotten some more rest. But before we do that, what's everybody's thoughts on these people 'knowing' who and what we are?"

There's a brief moment of silence before Scáthach coldly smirks.

"Those children seemed to take articles of a few thousand words as gospel, basing our entire existence and personality around things that clearly don't match up with the reality. You saw the way they acted, aside from you they didn't even ask us to introduce ourselves. They _assumed_ they already knew us."

A cold smirk seamlessly turns into an irritated one.

"I suppose we may as well let them wallow in their misinformation, it will only benefit us in the long run if they have a mistaken view."

I merely nod along with her words, Gilgamesh and Altera not having anything else to add.

Scáthach has every reason to be upset with that group for believing they understood her...but that's a mistake I'm not willing to fix for them.

Instead I add, "And that website was horribly misinformed about what it is you two are capable of now. There wasn't even a _hint_ of Amalgam Phantasms, Integrated Magics or any of the other random things we've created over the decades. Not to mention they seem to be under the impression that you're Servants, not Heroic Spirits..."

I trail off, Scáthach asking, "Horatius? Something on your mind?"

"Not really, it's just...the redhead said something about her 'precious servants' and I remembered that Devils have this collection of subordinates they call Peerages..."

The Queen of Heroes seems to clue in to what I'm trying to say and asks, "You disapprove, Gladiator?"

"I just disapprove of the idea in general. A quick summary of a Peerage makes it sound great on paper...but the whole system is ripe for exploitation, what with reviving dead people and making them mildly subservient to the Master's will. It reminds me a little too closely of my own history."

...And hers-

 _Enough_. What's done is done, stop reminiscing over what _never_ will be.

"They did not seem to be enslaved against their will."

Grateful for Altera's distracting words I nod in agreement.

"More likely than not there's both a good side and a bad side to these 'Peerages'...whatever, it's not our business."

Scáthach snorts and advises, "Sleep, Horatius. You're beginning to jump from subject to subject with little distinction between the two."

"You're right. I think I'll do that."

I settle into a relaxed position, let out a slow breath…

"Goddammit."

Four pair of eyes meet mine and I resist the urge to blush in embarrassment.

"The lotto numbers on Red's phone, they began with 71, not 07. I fucked up by one wrong number placement."

Predictably Scáthach remains silent, only rolling her eyes at my explanation while Gilgamesh just smirks.

Blatantly.

"...Wake me up in a few hours or if something exciting happens."

I begin to drift off into slumber, doing my best to ignore the palpable air of smugness around Humanities oldest Queen.

* * *

Scáthach

This 'Ophis' girl blankly returns my glare, not perturbed in the slightest at my obvious desire to boot her out of her spot.

Altera is _mine_ to cuddle, not yours!

Shaking my head in resignation since said cuddle-girl is obviously in no hurry to have the creature leave, I instead turn my attention to the still gleefully smiling Gilgamesh, the now youthful Queen bending over a sleeping Horatius in an evidently good mood.

My nails bite into my palms as a very _cold_ anger settles in my veins.

I purposefully waited for Horatius to fall asleep for a reason.

"Gilgamesh? I need to speak to you about something."

Her crimson eyes, a mirror to my own, turn in my direction as she asks, "Oh? No nickname this time?"

"No. As of now, you don't _deserve_ one."

That catches her off guard, if the single blink is an indicator.

"Just what are you-"

"When we first encountered those three, the Devil was perfectly content to keep running his mouth, to delay the battle for no other reason than he evidently loves the sound of his own voice. _And then you interrupted him_ , forcing us into a battle that culminated in Horatius almost _dying_ because he couldn't keep up with the strain our abilities put him under."

The Queen's expression suggests she hasn't _ever_ had anyone talk to her this way.

"You have no right-"

"I have _every_ right! Not long ago you said that you looked forward to having the three of us aid you in protecting the world. I can't help but wonder if you actually understand the significance of what you offered."

I step forward and get right in the face of the enraged Queen, not backing down one bit.

" _You_ are not the most important member of this group. Nor am I, nor is Altera, nor is Horatius. We are in this _together_ , equal in whatever adventure or trial faces us. I _love_ this life. And I will not have it disrupted or even ended because of the ignorant actions of one _girl_ who thinks herself to be the smartest one in the room."

I let open murder color my tone.

"I did not spend _centuries_ stalking the Land of Shadows as an immortal wraith, consigned to a life of pointless bloodshed, pain and _loneliness_ just so _you_ could ruin it within a week! Make no mistake, Gilgamesh...should you so blatantly endanger Horatius again, for no other reason than to stoke your own ego or act on a passing whim...I _will_ kill you."

…

The silence builds and I ready myself for a fight...only for something entirely unexpected to happen.

I had expected indignant rage, frustrated stubbornness or a cold dismissal from the Queen.

What I _wasn't_ expecting was for something in her eyes to snuff itself out like a candle, her gaze dropping to the side and for her voice to lower itself to a sullen, bitter whisper.

"For all of your vaunted skill with a spear...it's your words that cut and burn all the sharper, Witch of Dun Scaith..."

Without further comment she dematerializes into motes of golden dust, even the slight telepathic connection fading away to almost nothing.

A tired sigh escapes me as I glance over to my sister, a clear expression of disappointment-at least to those familiar with her-adorning her features.

" _You don't approve."_

" _No. That was needlessly cruel of you, sister..."_

My fingers, just recently relaxed enough to hang by my sides, again curl into a fist.

" _She needed to_ understand _. If it poisons my relationship with all of you...it's a price I will gladly pay. I will_ not _return to a glorified prison, not again..."_

The tan-skinned woman's gaze softens slightly.

" _You need not villainize yourself to do so. She is more human than both you and Master seem to think."_

" _..._ _We'll see."_

" _Mmm..."_

…

…

" _Altera?"_

" _Yes, sister?"_

I scowl at the little brat occupying my favored spot.

" _Can you tell that midget to move?"_

" _But she is cuddly..."_

* * *

Horatius

 _Yet another shadowy wraith disappears at the 'blades' of Altera's Photon Ray, scattered by their lethal light._

 _I think this makes nightmare monster number...well...I'm not sure, number 149? Maybe 150?_

" _Master, perhaps we should leave this place? It is neither hospitable nor homely..."_

" _What have I said about the whole, 'Master' deal?"_

 _A contrite lowering of her head._

" _...Horatius, perhaps we should leave this place? It is neither hospitable or homely..."_

 _I resist the urge to chuckle at her literal interpretation of my advice...although I'll freely admit to being exasperated by her constant referring to me as 'Master' instead of Horatius. You would think three decades plus change would have solved that…_

" _Behind you, Master."_

 _Not bothering to look I windmill a Gradiationed Black Key over my shoulder, hearing it collide with a dull_ thunk _and brief gurgle of whatever it was that was no doubt plotting on ways to chew my ass off._

" _Sorry, but there's...something about this place. It's hard to say, when I looking over it with Irappu I felt like there was something-_ someone _-wandering the lands...that's probably not very convincing, is it?"_

 _Predictably, she just shakes her head and easily replies, "If you say so, I will gladly follow, Mas-Horatius."_

 _I slyly grin and wrap an arm around her waste, bending her backwards as I dip her low and playfully whisper, "You know, I don't think you use my name_ nearly _often enough..."_

 _That almost imperceptible blush creeps onto her cheeks, even as those alluring lips dip slightly downwards, the closest she's ever come to a pout._

" _Horatius, now is not really the time for...that sort of thing."_

" _Oh~? Why not?"_

 _Her hand_ blurs _into motion, grabbing the edge of some serrated blade that was headed for my neck with unnerving accuracy and stopping it dead._

" _Because this is a dangerous place and I will need to focus on protecting you."_

 _I shrug, yanking free the Black Keys from the skeletal knight-looking monstrosity that just tried to murder me as Altera lets both the sword and body collapse into nothingness, my tone even._

" _A fair enough point, I guess...and on the subject of dangerous places..."_

 _A symphony of rattling bones and papery wings surrounds us, the noises emanating from several creatures that look like zombified dragons as they drop out of the sky and crawl up from hidden crevasses._

" _Looks like we're going to be busy during the tenure of our stay here."_

 _Altera nods, Photon Ray held loosely in her palm as she surveys the surrounding creatures with a cold gaze._

" _Master, allow me to-"_

CRUNCH!

 _One of the bone creatures collapses amidst a pile of dust and shattered rock,_ something _having impacted it's center of mass with all the gentleness of a runaway locomotive._

 _Backup? Or another enemy?_

 _As the dust settles and a Humanoid figure strolls forward with predatory ease, the remaining skeletal beings chattering nervously, I lean more towards backup._

 _Long, Magenta hair sways lightly in accordance with woman's movements, a veil not too dissimilar to Altera's adorning her head while rune-etched pauldrons of silver smoothly mesh with her movements._

 _Leather vambraces and shin guards adorn her figure, dark-plated sabatons creating a pleasant jingle as she approaches, the unhurried walk of a panther out for a stroll._

 _A dark purple bodysuit that accentuates her Goddess-like form, all topped off by beautiful features with crimson eyes the same shade as Altera's, said eyes briefly locking on us before she returns to glaring at the assembled monsters._

 _A few seconds pass as they eye each other up-_

 _-and then the creatures_ run _, only the echoing rattles of their departure hinting that they were ever there in the first place._

…

 _Well then._

 _I think it's safe to say Altera and I somehow stumbled onto the Land of Shadows. After all, I_ know _this woman...at least by reputation and the briefest of meetings._

 _The Lord of Spirits, Scáthach._

…

 _I SO need to ask her for an autograph._

 _Huh, I wonder if she remembers me...probably not, I only met her in passing when I was traveling through Scotland a few centuries back and I was back on the road within the span of a few days._

" _Perhaps this is not the most polite or welcoming of greetings...but you two seem to be far away from home."_

 _Her voice is a musical alto, the tones imperial in their construction but thankfully not overbearing._

" _No offense taken, but seeing as how we don't technically have a home in the first place...well regardless, it's a pleasure to meet you, Scáthach"_

 _Her eyes widen imperceptibly, tone containing the slightest hints of surprise as she asks, "You know of me?"_

" _In a manner of speaking. We actually briefly met a few hundred years back-"_

" _Ah, I remember you! The journeyman that carried a facet of Gaia within him, what an odd coincidence meeting you_ here _of all places."_

 _I blink dumbly a few times._

" _Wait, you_ remember _me? We had, like, two conversations and that was_ ages _ago!"_

 _A languid shrug._

" _You had quite the fascinating air about you, it left an impression."_

 _Wow. What are the odds?_

 _I quickly shake my head and continue with, "Well moving on regardless, my name is Horatius and my lovely traveling companion goes by Attila."_

 _I stick out an arm for a handshake._

" _It's an honor to properly make your acquaintance after all this time, Lord of Spirits."_

 _She stares at my outstretched hand, bemusement on her fair features before she returns the gesture with a firm shake of her own._

" _Well met then, Horatius. And as for you, Miss Attila..."_

 _The Warrior Queen appraises the tan woman with a keen eye, a small smile appearing on her lips as she excitedly states, "Crimson eyes, the mark of a Demigod...and I can tell with just a glance. You're powerful, aren't you?"_

 _Altera, ever the modest one, humbly nods and leaves it at that._

" _Provided we find the opportunity to do so, we should spar sometime. It has been a long time indeed since I was able to properly cross blades with a worthy adversary that wasn't a battle to the death."_

 _I fully expect Altera to just amicably nod, her usual response...when she instead speaks up with a slightly anticipatory tone._

" _That sounds...interesting. I want to do so as well."_

…

 _Well I'll be damned, that's the quickest she's ever switched to being proactive._

 _I'm about to teasingly point that out-_

 _-and a distant roar sounds throughout the dreary landscape, prompting Scáthach_ _to_ _sigh before wryly stating, "It seems we will have to cut our conversation short for the time being, lest we draw the attention of annoyedly tenacious creatures. Come, you two. Allow me to show you to my home."_

' _Home', as the warrior woman put it, is basically just an unremarkable, slightly larger than average cave that tunnels fairly deeply into the stone around it._

…

 _Well, that and the veritable_ fortress _of Runes spaced around the entrance._

 _Runecraft was never my specialty but I know enough to understand that I don't have a damn_ clue _what some of these combinations are meant to achieve._

 _There's some simple ones, Runes meant to alert the user if there are intruders or those with hostile intent...but some are just_ insane _._

 _I'm pretty sure one specific combination alters perception itself, something about right becoming left and left becoming right, up becoming down and down becoming up._ Sheesh _that would be a nasty trap to spring in the heat of battle…_

" _Is there something bothering you, Horatius?"_

 _I shake my head and turn my attention back to Scáthach, the spear wielder having long kicked off her armor and boots, merely lounging about in just the bodysuit._

 _I'm trying not to stare._

 _So instead I just shrug and reply, "Just marveling at the sheer level of craft on display here. Seriously, I know just enough to understand that most of this should be impossible."_

 _She looks oddly bitter at my words, quietly replying-almost to herself-with, "It was necessary if I wished to be able to have more than an hours worth of peaceful rest...sometimes I do not even receive that."_

 _...Slightly awkward and now I feel bad. And while I hadn't noticed it at first...there's definite bags under her eyes, an odd sign considering her otherwise flawless features…_

 _Not sure what to say next I instead glance around the cave, taking note of the various bits of architecture hewn out of solid rock itself. A few tables and chairs, all covered with animal skins while a smattering of plates and jugs adorn rough cut shelves._

 _Spartan living at it's finest._

" _Your cooking is rather impressive, Scáthach...my own soldiers rarely crafted such excellent tasting foods despite having roughly the same resources."_

 _I almost laugh out loud as Altera successfully breaks the silence, Scáthach evidently sharing my amusement as she watches Altera contentedly chew on bits of dried meat and hardy herbs with a smile._

" _I'm flattered that you think so highly of my meager stores...on a different subject, what exactly are you two doing here in the first place? The Land of Shadows hardly strikes me as the sort of place that attracts pilgrims..."_

" _Well put bluntly, we're travelers of a sort. We like to go to interesting places and meet interesting people."_

 _I don't miss the oddly wistful look on her face, even though her words are amused as she says, "Well apologies in advance about this locale, then. Unless you find all manner of ghosts and spirits wishing to murder you interesting...odds are that you'll be disappointed."_

 _I let a flirtatious smile appear on my face and coyly reply, "Perhaps so, but you make up for it."_

 _She blinks once before softly snorting, her next question being, "How long do you two plan to stay in this desolate land? I certainly don't mind the company..."_

 _Me and Altera trade a brief glance before I shrug and answer her with, "A few days, maybe. We rarely stay in one place for more than that. Why?"_

…

 _The sudden anxiousness-perhaps even outright_ terror _-on the Lord of Spirits face strikes me mute._

" _That...that soon?"_

 _Her voice is hardly more than a whisper, eyes wide and hands suddenly ringing themselves together._

 _Altera's concern clearly matches my own, if the sudden emotion lightly leaking through our empathetic link is any indicator._

 _I open my mouth to quickly assure her that we don't mind staying longer-because_ fuck _my Origin and it's incessant nagging-when she abruptly stands, a slightly unhinged gleam in her panicked eyes._

" _Ah, but where are my manners as a host? Come, let me show you two the bath!"_

 _Before either of us can reply she grabs our arms and hauls us upwards, dragging us towards the back of the cave._

"It was something I said, wasn't it?"

 _Altera doesn't immediately reply but when she does her mental voice is somewhat concerned._

"What should we do, Master?"

"For now, play along."

 _No sooner do I finish that thought than Scáthach leads us through a side tunnel, a few steps in utter darkness giving way to a pale blue-green glow as we travel forward._

 _The bath is mostly just a hollowed out bowel in the ground that looks like it can comfortably hold fourteen or more people, a central rock covered in some kind of moss being the only aesthetic addition aside from a few Runes that lightly pulse, giving off the colored glow._

 _Combined with the steam from the heated water-either through some kind of geothermal vent or Rune-it creates a feverish, almost dreamlike atmosphere._

 _I'm so caught up in examining the room that I entirely miss Scáthach letting go of our limbs and divesting herself of her clothes in one smooth motion._

 _An oversight that's rectified once she grabs Altera in a sudden hug and kisses her full on the lips._

…

 _What?_

 _The King of Combat is just as confused as I am as she doesn't resist, letting Scáthach push her up against my chest and all of the sudden I feel my butt being fondled through my pants with a hand that could likely crush iron without much difficulty._

 _...Double what?_

 _The lord of Spirits breaks off her kiss with a sharp gasp of air, eyes clouded over in some kind emotional upheaval as she suddenly darts forward, nibbling on Altera's neck and causing the Hunnic King to lightly moan._

"Altera, are you all right? Should we stop her?"

 _My companion doesn't reply for a second...and when she does it's with a sense of calm acceptance and concern for the other woman._

"It is fine, Master. She seems...lonely?"

…

 _Yeah, centuries of isolation-provided the legends of her internment here are true-could cause her to act irrationally._

 _Like dragging two largely unknown guests into a Ménage à trois less than an hour after meeting them._

…

 _Well, no sense in complaining. I'll enjoy this with Altera, and then we'll try to figure out a way to help Scáthach. It's the least we can do._

 _With that thought in mind I let my right hand lightly trace Altera's contours, down her taut stomach and lightly brushing aside the soft band of her tribal loincloth-_

 _-and she gives off a soft 'mmm!' as my fingers gently massage her lips, beginning the exciting process of getting her all warmed up._

 _My left hand snakes around her side to explore the Lord of Spirit's body, the woman so wrapped up in playing with my ass and nibbling Altera's neck that she doesn't notice until I roughly grab her breast, fingers digging into the large globe of flesh and playfully kneading her tit and nipple, prompting her to gasp and pull away at the suddenness of the action._

 _We all take a moment to catch our breath-_

* * *

 _…_

Waking up from my dreams is always a confusing process.

 _Especially_ when they're less dreams than they are memories.

"You're awake, Horatius?"

I'm greeted to the sight of two pairs of red eyes gazing down on me and _boy_ does it take a moment to separate my thoughts from the scene I'd just been reminiscing about.

Those following hours had been...intense.

"I am now, what's the emergency?"

I notice the Ouroboros still peaceably sitting on the edge of the bed, apparently unbothered by any of our actions as Scáthach quickly explains, "Two large, well...presences, I suppose we could call them, are headed in our direction. They feel quite different from the ones we've encountered thus far."

"...Should we expect a fight?"

An idle shrug that belies the way her fingers idly caress thin air, obviously ready to materialize her favored weapon at the drop of a hat.

"Hard to say. Thus far there seems to be very little in the way of consistency between which are foes and which are friends in this universe..."

A pointed glance at the Ouroboros just drives home that point.

"Alright, we'll play it nice and easy then, see how things go."

With that I settle into the mattress and lean my back against the wall, gazing at the door with a relaxed air.

" _Well, Queen of Heroes? What're your thoughts on our approaching guests?"_

Silence greets me.

" _...Golden Queen? Gilgamesh?"_

I take a risk.

" _Archer?"_

…

Nothing but perfect silence.

What the Hell, is it something I said?

I'm about to start asking questions in a less than polite manner when there's a soft knock on the front door, prompting me to sigh and decide to put this off until later.

"Doors open, come on in."

With a soft _click_ the handle turns...allowing two ethereally beautiful creatures to walk inside.

They're pristine in the way a China plate is and at least half as durable looking. Seriously, a strong breeze could probably knock these two out.

The male has features that wouldn't look out of place on a woman's face, billowing white robes hiding his figure from view and a look of undisguised amicability present.

The woman...well personally I'd say her chest crosses the line from 'bountiful' to 'that is actually kinda a turn off' but that's just me. Whereas her male counterpart displays nothing but peacefulness and goodwill, she's practically _leaking_ childish enthusiasm and friendliness.

These two must be Angels.

I motion to a pair of nearby chairs and politely offer, "Don't stand up on my account, have a seat."

"Thank you for your hospitality."

The male's voice matches his looks perfectly, a mixture of soft baritones that seem custom designed to set people at ease.

The smile is, to use a rather horrible bit of wordplay, Angelic.

"Perhaps I should introduce us. My name is Michael and, for the time being, I represent Heaven among all of the various factions in the world. This is my Sister, Gabriel, who assists me in my duties."

The woman gives a cheerful wave that causes undulations to her tits that I would normally associate with slapped piles of jello.

How does that even-oh forget it.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you two. Now can I ask why you're here? I'm getting the impression that we've made waves around these parts and that's making me nervous."

It actually isn't, but whatever. Causing chaos goes with the job.

The man nods in acceptance of those words and replies, "You needn't worry about such things, Mr. Horatius. If nothing else, I can assure you Heaven-"

"Wants something from me, obviously."

The two Angels blink in tandem.

"I beg your pardon?"

I resist the urge to smirk.

"You want something from me. I can see it in raw hope you're carrying around like an awkward suitcase. You can get right to the point now, I prefer directness over talking someone's ears blue, if I can get away with it."

Both beings stare blankly at me for a moment before Micahel forms a lightly amused smile.

"I think you and Azazel would get along splendidly, he also has little love for long winded talks..."

"Having never met this 'Azazel' I have no way of knowing if that's a compliment or not. Your request?"

Michael casts a brief glance at the seated Ouroboros before locking his suddenly apprehensive gaze on my own.

"The universe you hail from...I would like to know if we may appropriate a God from it."

…

…

My palm meets my face.

" _Ita me di juvent..."_

* * *

 **I'm one L away from making all the meta in this chapter into metal.**

 **Haha, wordplay!**

 **But yah, ground was covered today. Horatius and co were introduced to the members of the ORC (and lousy first impressions were made. Don't believe everything you read on the internet!), Issei's crotch was threatened, Scathach and Gilgamesh aren't all buddy-buddy with each other, Ophis has taken a liking to Altera, some flashbacks to when Altera and Horatius first met Scathach and** **Michael is trying to recruit another God into taking over his job.**

 **WHEW.**

 **Ordinarily I would have more to say at the end of a chapter...but I'm pretty sleepy right now so I'll just leave a few clarifications and call it a chapter.**

 **The reference to Amalgam Phantasms and Integrated Magics are things I came up with and they'll be showcased in later chapters. Let's just say decades is a pretty long time to mess around with and experiment with Noble Phantasms...and _these_ puppies are the result of that.**

 **Well, on that note review time!**

 **KadoyaOkami: As insane as this sounds (even to me, and I'm the psychopath that came up with it in the first place) Irappu/Horatius are going to have a far more destructive showdown with a foe near the end of the story that makes the Lilith fight look like a playground scuffle. That'll be a right mess.**

 **In Brightest Day: Yeah, did the ten rolls. Seeing as how it 'ups' the chances of getting something good I went with that and was summarily disappointed XD**

 **Regale Rhythm: On the plus side (if you want to call it that) at least her NP would be super powerful.**

 **...**

 **Except as a berserker with no inclination towards art cards I rarely ever had her alive long enough to take advantage of that...**

 **Anyway as strange as this may sound I actually struggle with writing in the 3rd person (although I started a different story awhile back to help practice that) and didn't want to screw around with different styles of writing that I wasn't comfortable with at the time.**

 **AceBlazer007 - Harudere: The salt was so strong in me that I took to the internet to complain and have a minor tantrum. Pure iodine coursed through my veins that day XD**

 **FateBurn: Tiamat flashbacks are coming soon (well maybe not THAT soon, if my current pace of one chapter a month holds steady XD) and her and Horatius' interactions play a big part in the way the finale I have planned meshes out.**

 **prototype gear: I feel like most Nasuverse powers can be considered bullshit (I read some of the wiki articles on F/GO Beasts and other things and was laughing at how absurd some of the stuff was) but, like you, that's what makes me love it.**

 **And I feel like Fate is pretty up front about being crazy and knowing that full well. I mean, one of the first fights in the VN and anime consists of Saber avoiding a causality altering attack because she's LUCKY.**

 **That's D &D cheese factor to the max and it's amazing.**

 **BeguilingLight: Yeah, it's a pain trying to draw any definite conclusions when practically every iteration of the franchise has it's own rules and interpretations...but for me the scary thing about Heroic Spirits wasn't ever that they can go around breaking the sound barrier or any of that other crazy-loco stuff...it was the fact that they could _comprehend_ moving and fighting at those speeds. The average speed for an MLB fastball is something like 91 mph, a little bit more than HALF of my assumed speed of a Heroic Spirit.**

 **I dunno if you've ever felt a fastball whizzing past you at those speeds but DAMN it is quick. Something moving roughly _twice as fast_ , with incredible strength, martial skill, speed of reflexes and all sort of other Supernatural powers...well, 170 mph suddenly sounds a whole lot more terrifying.**

 **My assumed take on it, granted...but I'm trying to balance both what the anime shows and what the VN's say is happening XD**

 **Warlord of Chaos: Yeah, that makes two of us excited for Tiamat :D**

 **I dunno why there aren't more fics (at least that I could find) with her as a focus, or at least as a strong supporting character. While from what I understand from F/GO doesn't exactly give her more personality other than, 'force of nature', the backstory to her character always intrigued me. More on that on the horizon :D**

 **Kinunatsz the Eternal: :_(**

 **PikaMew1288: I dunno, the specifics of Enkidu always confused the Hell out of me, mostly because Heracles COULD break out of them. As a Demigod they wouldn't be able to bring their FULL restraining power...but wouldn't a full God be more powerful than Heracles anyway, and be capable of breaking free?**

 **Bleh, at a certain point I just throw my hands in the air and roll my lucky 8-ball, see what it has to say. Also hopefully this chapter covered your second question :D**

 **Temsen: Azazel is many things, and has a great deal more things...**

 **Self-preservation instincts ain't one of them, lol.**

 **ObsidianUnknown66: Well Issei already almost had his sack destroyed by a pissed Gilgamesh...so the only way from here on out is up, right?**

 **...**

 **Nah, of course he's gonna hit on anything with boobs!**

 **Again, thanks to all the reviews and follows and faves and other f-words, see y'all next chapter!**

 **Also Douchepitt is my original creation, no stealies.**


	6. Know Thy Enemy and Allies

Ch 6: Know thy Enemy and Allies

Horatius

"You want to take a god from our universe and put into yours."

Michael gravely nods.

"And you want that God to be Yahweh, am I right?"

"...Yes."

I resist the urge to sigh and instead ask, "Ok, I'll bite. Where's _your_ Yahweh? On vacation?"

"Father is...dead."

I raise an eyebrow at Gabriel's quiet answer.

"Huh. Guess I shouldn't be surprised..."

Michael bows his head slightly and asks, "I ask of you again, Mr. Horatius-"

"Drop the 'Mr.' part, it's making me nervous."

Blinking once but continuing without pause the Angel continues with, "Horatius, then. I would be grateful beyond measure if you could offer us aid in transferring your universe's version of Yahweh to our own, assuming such a thing is possible."

…

Shit, where do I even start with this?

"Ok, I'm going to humor this request of yours because you at least had the decency to be upfront about it...but why don't you start by explaining what Heaven _is_ and what part your God played in keeping it...I'm assuming functioning, otherwise you wouldn't be here talking to me."

The male Angel nods and states, "Heaven is the resting place of our faithful's souls, as well as the home of us Angels. Father was instrumental in making sure such a realm was even feasible in the first place. Creating such a large and complicated space separate from this world's, running a system that heard the prayers of the faithful and allowed us to act on those same prayers, as well as actually maintaining a stable resting place for the believer's souls...those were the providence of Yahweh."

Scáthach and Altera's disbelief is pretty much in line with my own.

"Wait wait wait...you said Heaven retains people's _souls?"_

The Angel raises an eyebrow and carefully replies, "Yes, those who believe in Heaven and God-and lived decent lives-are admitted past the Pearly Gates. Judging by your reaction such a feat is... _unusual_ to you?"

"A bit more than, 'unusual'. More like damn near _impossible_. These souls, are they conscious while residing in Heaven or are they in a state of 'unfeeling'?"

"Oh, they are very much awake and active. What would the point of a paradise be if one could not interact with their peers, speak with those who they once believed to have been gone forever?"

I instinctively shiver, Gabriel frowning at my reaction.

"You do not approve, Horatius?"

"On a personal level? Not a damn _bit_. But bear in mind that I'm kinda biased on this issue, individual freedom has always been a constant factor in my life, something I fought hard to obtain. The idea of something as immortal as my soul being at the mercy of a higher power is... _unpleasant_."

While they clearly don't agree with my ultimate feelings on the matter, neither tries to convince me or tell me I'm wrong, which I appreciate.

 _Filius Canis_ , their God had dominion over who knows how many people's _souls?_ Back home the soul was one of the most difficult and near inviolable things a person had, the methods to both retain and transfer it hideously complex and finicky to work with. Even my own simple version of, 'look around for an empty container before passing GO and collecting $200' was no easy piece of work.

And these fuckers apparently made a _paradise_ for countless numbers of the things.

...Unfortunately for them, it basically cements what I was already pretty sure was going to be my answer.

"So if God is six feet under, who's keeping things running, for lack of a better term? Although since you're asking for me to send you a gift-wrapped Yahweh, it probably hasn't been smooth sailing, has it?"

Both Angels shake their heads, Michael sighing before explaining, "I have been keeping Heaving in as fine a working condition as I can for several centuries now...but it is a losing battle. I'm a blind man trying to maintain the finest of paintings, with only a sense of touch and others spoken words to guide my hand. Over time, the flaws and shoddy workmanship has begun to mar the overall work."

I lean back and consider his words...already feeling bad about what I _know_ I'm going to have to tell them.

"Ok, I have a short answer and a long answer. Which one do you want?"

Gabriel attempts a cheerful smile despite the obvious nervousness evident in her body language, answering, "How about the short answer then?"

"Alright, short answer it is then. First, I actually don't have any available way to 'transfer' a God from my world to this one. And second, even if I did, I wouldn't want to in the slightest."

My words hit like bullets and while neither Angel faints or anything dramatic like that they're both distressed.

...Makes me feel like an asshole.

"May...may we have the long answer, then?"

Nodding at Michael's completely understandable request I reply, "The truth of the matter is that I know absolutely nothing about how to move from universe to universe, I rely on a friend for that."

"Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg?"

I neutrally glance at Gabriel and quietly state, "You've been reading those articles, haven't you?"

She has the decency to realize I'm not overtly pleased with that statement and look ashamed, apologizing with, "I-I meant no disrespect to you or your friend, Horatius...it's just that with the potential to finally have Father back in Heaven your privacy-"

I wave a hand, muttering, "It's fine, it's fine..."

I need to stop being such a hardass about this. If someone with bizarre powers popped up back home and there were online articles about every facet of them it'd be a bold-faced lie to say I wouldn't even _skim_ the things, just to get a general background.

"Getting back to what I was saying, I don't have a clue how to transfer things over from Universe to Universe... _especially_ not something as complex as a damn _God_. And on that note..."

I take a moment to gather your thoughts.

"Ok, I'm assuming you've read the articles about Gods then?"

They nod.

"Primordial beings of Gaia that fucked around with Humanity for awhile before being kicked to the curb and either disappearing entirely or adopting more simple and limited states?"

"...Not quite as colorfully described as that, but yes...I will confess to being confused as to why Yahweh was not among those recognized, considering there is a Church-"

"We're getting ahead of ourselves, you've got the basics and that's good enough. Back home there three theories pertaining to Yahweh's state of being, since unlike most other Gods there was never any real sightings or believable documentation of it's existence."

I settle into my seat.

"The first theory is that Yahweh never actually existed as a real God, that the Son of God and his apostles-among others-were just a band of particularly imaginative and powerful Magus and Magicians that claimed to receive their strength from a higher power."

I cast a significant glance at the two Angels.

"You can see why this might be a bit of a hiccup."

Before they make any sort of response I plow forward with, "The second is that, like the rest of the Gods, Yahweh reduced itself into a more 'base' form that is less a sentient than it is a behavior...or at least until they sacrifice a great deal of their power. Personally I think this is the more likely option."

I take a moment to breathe, knowing this one might sting a little.

"The third option is that Yahweh is some sort of all-knowing, all-seeing, omnipotent force of power that no Human could ever hope to comprehend. Which is really where we jump from talking about Yahweh to talking about Monad, but no one seems to remember gnosticism, so whatever..."

I sigh, giving the Angels a sympathetic gaze.

"Ideally, the third option is a false one. Because if it isn't, well...this God you profess to love and respect and wish for their return? It knows about your prayers and in it's divine wisdom has decided you aren't worth the _slightest_ _iota_ of attention."

I darkly chuckle.

"And people wonder why atheism ever caught on, even a little."

Michael and Gabriel both seem lost in thought before the female of the duo shakily asks, "You...you said that, were such an exchange possible, you wouldn't want to do so. But two of these options seem impossible regardless of our wants...so why did you say that you had no intention of performing this feat?"

...That's a heavy topic.

"Put bluntly, Gabriel, I think taking a God from my universe and placing it in charge of your faithful's souls would be an utterly irresponsible fucking thing to do."

Their eyes demand I explain that statement.

"The Gods of my universe were _rotten_ beings. There were a few exceptions, sure...but by and large the Gods were manipulative, childish and sociopathic personalities that thought nothing of making Human's their playthings, just to _alleviate their idle hours._ And you want to take one of them and place it on the highest throne you have?"

Gabriel bristles and retorts, "Father would _never_ -"

"Exactly! _Your_ God, not mine! This is something you _need_ to understand! Our Gods were in some respects perfect examples of Humanity, being more cruel, more whimsical, more passionate and more impulsive than we ever could be. Yahweh's religion is responsible for some of the most violent crusades the world has ever seen, Christianity and all of it's other forms and subsets are no cleaner or dirtier than any other system of belief. _And you want to put that God in charge of your believer's souls?_ Madness."

I try to interject as much sincerity into my tone as I can.

"Maybe this is presumptuous of me to assume since I've know you two for all of a few minutes...but you strike me as genuinely well-meaning leaders, asking for help not because it'll lighten your responsibilities, but because you genuinely think someone else can do a better job. I'll tell you now, whatever job you think you're doing? It's a _thousand_ times better than whatever shade of Yahweh could ever hope to do."

...Almost a full minute of awkward silence ensues, my impassioned plea hopefully convincing them to abandon their well-meaning lunacy-

-and both Angels sag, defeat obvious in their postures.

...Christ I feel awful now.

"...Sorry if that last bit was a little harsh...but I really wanted you to understand that nothing good was going to come out of your request, assuming it was even possible in the first place."

I half expect a few cold shoulders, maybe a few please for me to reconsider-

-and have to blink in surprise as Gabriel leans in to kiss me on the forehead, Michael repeating the action as Gabriel steps back.

...What?

A melancholy-but genuine-smile adorning their faces Michael quietly states, "There is no need to apologize, Horatius...if nothing else, your heartfelt words have made us realize that, in hindsight...what we asked for was both hasty and more than a little rude."

I awkwardly cough into my fist.

"Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far-"

Gabriel giggles, a noise that seems like it could make Primate Murder crack a legitimate smile and says, "No need to be so shy, Horatius, there has been no harm done. One method has been debunked, certainly...but it is not the first time we have tried to preserve Heaven and met with failure. And it almost certainly won't be the last, yet we shall continue trying evermore, won't we, Brother?"

Michael regally nods.

"We shall, Sister. On a different note-and one that shames me-we never thanked you for your intervention in defeating the Jabberwocky. You and your companions saved a great many lives that day, so for that we thank you, Horatius."

They friggin' _bow_ to us and just like that I'm immensely uncomfortable.

"Oh for the love of- _stop_ doing that, _please!_ We didn't waste that ugly crime against nature because we were looking for a parade or anything like that...trust me, I'm _used_ to this job being thankless. Not having an angry mob after me is reward enough."

Both Angels share a glance that seems amused for some reason, both giving one final bow that I hastily return as best I can from where I'm sitting, Michael stating, "If at all possible I would like to meet with you again, Horatius. Preferably in a more amicable setting where my manners are not forgotten and we can converse on more pleasant topics. Farewell, and good health."

They gracefully exit and we all sit quietly, lost in thought.

"As a reward for killing the Jabberwocky do you think they'll let me fondle that woman's breasts? There's _no_ way those are real."

Scáthach's comment makes me laugh in sudden mirth.

"I'm fairly certain that's how Angel's fall, Scáthach. It's like babies first cigarette in boob-massage form."

"No one ever died from a tit-fondling, Horatius."

"Debatable. And as much as I enjoy debating the pros and cons of a woman's body, we _really_ should get away from these people as soon as possible."

Scáthach nods in agreement while Altera tilts her head.

"We should?"

"We should. It's pretty clear that we present an unknown factor to these people, but one they _think_ they know due to those stupid articles. I mean those two-no matter how much I think I actually like them-basically came up to us and asked for help taking something from a completely different dimension and putting it into theirs. With no mention of compensation, I might add. And factor in the kids who clearly had no idea how to conduct an interrogation but wanted info anyway...yeah, it's only a matter of time before they stop asking and start demanding. Best be on our way before that."

Altera contritely nods as I haul myself to my feet, stretching out my back and feeling my spine pop.

"Let's go talk to Miss Tepes, get our mystery monster's location and make tracks."

* * *

Exiting the room I notice Tobio sitting off to the side, his dog calmly sitting in his lap.

"Ahh, Horatius-san. I take it you're feeling better?"

"Like new. Thanks for getting me out of there, by the way, I hear you're the one who got my roasted ass to a medic in time."

He offers a humble smile, his voice soft and mildly amused as he glances at Scáthach.

"Think nothing of it. Besides, your companion can be very...persuasive."

Scáthach winks at the young man and cheerily replies, "Nothing personal, in fact you're now on my good list."

"...I'm glad to hear that?"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and instead ask, "I don't suppose you could me tell me where Miss Tepes' room is? I kinda need to ask her something."

I notice the slightly cornered look he has in his eyes and add, "You're welcome to take us there and stick around. I take it you've been tasked with watching us?"

He has the decency to look slightly ashamed, replying, "Unfortunately so, Horatius-san. My boss-"

"Eh, don't worry about it. Lead on."

He nods and without further comment the dog leaps off his lap, trotting down the hallway and marking the path for us.

...I wonder if there's more to that Dog than merely having good senses. It seems...oddly _reduced_ as it is right now.

That matter is promptly put out of sight and mind as Tobio unlocks an unmarked door, leads us inside-

-and I find the schoolchildren staring at me and company with openly surprised looks, all of them scattered around the room as our target sits in the middle of them.

Ahh _Hell_. This'll be awkward.

As if to accentuate my point there's a feminine squeak of surprise, a rustling of cloth-

-and then a short, petite looking girl wearing a dress runs up to us...a paper bag over her head and hiding her features from view.

Yeah, I ain't gonna ask.

"U-um, are you the ones who rescued Valerie?!"

Deciding this'll go smoother if I just be polite I smile and reply, "We are, may I have the honor of having your name...Miss..."

I narrow my eyes and tilt my head to the side.

"Ah, my apologies. May I have the honor of knowing your name, _Mister…_?"

I hide a smirk as a round of surprised looks dominates the room, the effeminate boy making sputtering noises.

"Huh?! You could tell Gasper-kun was a boy?!"

I glance to the source of the surprised shout...and find it came from the brown-haired boy who was looked at Scáthach, Altera and the Queen of Heroes like they were pieces of meat.

...Whatever, now's not the time to get into that. Besides, if they ever get truly annoyed they can always just punt him through a wall or something.

"Sure could. I've seen my fair share of crossdressers over the years, not to mention his Adam's Apple is just noticeable enough to give things away. Regardless, we were happy to help, Mr. Gasper."

Offering a polite nod my gaze switches to the cheerfully humming Valerie, her attention...elsewhere, I guess is the word.

"And while I hate to interrupt your reunion, hopefully I can make this quick and be out of your hair. Mind if I speak with Miss Valerie?"

"Oh, um, sure! I mean, she's still a little out of it, but you can try?"

"No worries, she always seemed lucid enough to use her 'Sacred Gear' and that's all I really need her to do."

…

I resist the urge to sigh as the temperature in the room seems to drop at my words, the kids noticeably stiffening.

"U-um, t-that might be a p-problem?"

"I noticed, your reactions weren't exactly _subtle_."

My eyes roam, resignedly asking, "Well? What's the catch?"

The girl with long white hair wearing a spiffy grey business suit quickly explains, "Valerie-san's Sacred Gear has been...split, for lack of a better term. Sacred Gears reside in a person's soul so it's analogous to missing portions of her very being. And the Sephiroth Graal tends to overwhelm it's users far more quickly than other Gears..."

Pinching the bridge of my nose at yet _another_ set back I grumpily ask, "Ok, and just _how_ long has she been using this Gear of hers to end up like...this?"

"From what we know, she has been using it near constantly for years."

And just like that my mood clears.

"Oh, that's no problem then. A few more minutes won't hurt her, which is all I imagine we'll need."

I expect that to be the end of the conversation-

-and am sorely disappointed as a chestnut-haired girl with twin-tails gasps and resolutely states, "You can't do that to Gasper-kun's friend, she's already been through more enough torment, she doesn't need you adding to it!"

The brown-haired boy again jumps in with, "Yeah, what Irina-chan said! Valerie-san deserves the chance to get better, it's not right to force her to use her powers anymore!"

...Count to ten, Horatius. They're kids, and you're a millennia old dude. Act like it.

Taking a deep breath and keeping my voice level I reply, "Ok, first of all, I'm not _forcing_ her. She was perfectly happy to help me when I was aiding her escape, she'll likely be happy to do so again. Second, if you want to bring 'my right' into this...I'm the one who rescued her from people that would have _forced_ -your words, not mine-her to keep using her Gear. Going by your 'logic' of rights, none of you deserve to so much as _breathe_ the air around her, let alone dictate to me what I can and can't do."

The redhead who's name I never learned gains an ugly expression, scowling as she retorts, "If you're threatening my servants-"

" _Thirdly_ , you seem to be forgetting a very important fact. The only reason we're in your world at _all_ is because something out there wants to destroy _my_ world! And do the goddamned math, if Valerie has been using her fractured Sacred Gear constantly for _years_ and only ended up this far gone...what the Hell do you think a few more minutes of usage is going to do? I'll spare you reaching for your calculators, _nothing_."

I try and largely fail to reign in my annoyance.

"Don't presume to tell me what I can or cannot do, _children_. Because when it comes to the fate of my world versus your misplaced 'morals'...there's no contest. _Step aside."_

As if to accentuate my point Scáthach manifests a Gáe Bolg and twirls it once before it's haft meatily smacks into her palm, an eager smile gracing her features.

" _Whoah, slow down there, beautiful. I know I just basically threatened them but isn't that a bit much? They_ are _still Kids..."_

" _Feh, look at their bodies. Are those the physiques of children? Besides, I'm still rather pissed at how they approached us when it was clear they had information about my past."_

" _...I was referring more to their mental ages, but fair enough. Just try not to stab anyone until it's_ certain _this'll become a fight?"_

" _No promises in combat_ _."_

 _..._ More than I expected.

The rapid mental exchange had barely lasted more than a second and in that second things obviously kicked up a notch.

The kids are readying weapons and the such while Scáthach leisurely strolls forward, predatory smirk plastered across her lips.

Thankfully Altera is content to hang back a bit, the Ouroboros Dragon calmly watching the proceedings with a detached air as she grabs the back of the King of Combat's leg.

"Now now, there's no need for any violence~!"

I try not to blatantly sigh in relief as Valerie cheerily interrupts us, calmly walking forward and standing directly before me.

"Samuel-kun says it would be a good idea to help you this one last time, since this is a matter of dire importance for all of our worlds."

It takes a great deal of effort not to cast a significant glance in the children's direction at her uttering of the ord, 'all of our worlds'.

"Now, allow me to begin."

She closes her blood-red eyes...and the room seems to, for lack of a better term, darken. Almost as if the light was being drawn towards some invisible source...and is it just me or is the temperature dropping?

" _The Beast. What you seek is The Beast. The creature spoken of in Revelations, of it's many heads and fearsome crown. 666, Trihexa. The final_ _point of the Trinity. Void, the absence of anything and everything, the Ouroboros. Dreams, to wish and imagine of infinity, the DxD. Reality, of all it's imperfections and death, the one constant in the universe, the Trihexa. A being equal and opposite to it's kin..."_

…

Well of fucking _course_. First it's a couple Angels asking me to mail-order them Yahweh, now it's the Beast of Revelation kicking down our door.

And 'Reality'? It sounds like this interpretation has some upgrades, back home it was just a manifestation of sin and other shit like that…

And it doesn't escape my notice the way the so far stoic Ouroboros visibly stiffens at the creature's mention.

"Ok, my first and only question is thus. Where is this thing?"

" _It rests, neither awake nor dreaming, locked away at the End of the World. You will find it in that direction."_

She points a finger in some arbitrary line and Scáthach doesn't have to be told to rapidly triangulate exactly where her finger is pointing.

As if some switch was flipped Valerie sags slightly, her eyes opening and rapidly blinking as she glances around the room.

Ok, time to get to work.

I rapidly turn on my heel and stride out of the room, fervently hoping that none of the kids accost me before I can get out of here.

Thankfully they don't and I mentally ask, _"Ok, opinions? I'm pretty sure this is our mark but if anyone thinks otherwise, feel free to speak up_ _or forever hold your peace."_

Scáthach snorts, her voice dry as she replies, _"Is there any question at all? Of course this monstrosity is what we're looking for. After all, what other creature would be locked away in a coma-like state due to...their..."_

She trails off as memories come unbidden to me, of someone I once spent a great deal of time with who was in a… _similar_ situation.

" _My apologies, Horatius...I didn't mean to-"_

" _Don't worry about it, It's fine...Altera, your thoughts?"_

 _I am in agreement with you both. This is without a doubt our prey."_

Well that makes three of us...and one silent absentee.

" _Queen of Heroes, you have an opinion on this?"_

Silence.

I give Scáthach a suspicious glare, the Queen of Ulster innocently shrugging in a most unconvincing manner.

...Fine. Childish methods it is.

" _Hey, Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gilgamesh? Gil-"_

" _WHAT?!"_

Got em'.

" _Did you hear_ _what we were talking about earlier? In regards to-"_

" _Yes, I am aware. And I agree, that is our quarry. Now leave me be."_

…

I'm honestly at a loss for words.

Heaving a despondent sigh I pull open the door to my 'room', pausing only long enough to give a brief nod to Tobio-the poor guy's face clearly says this is _not_ what he usually deals with-before shutting it and collapsing onto the bed.

" _Alright, I'm going to grab a thirty minute nap and then we'll be out of here. Sound good?"_

" _The sooner the better..."_

Altera just nods, dematerializing alongside Scáthach, leaving the Ouroboros Dragon to look around the room...before she decides to seat herself on a nearby chair, staring at me with all the subtlety of a loaded gun.

...How did we end up grabbing her attention again?

* * *

 _The afterglow of an intense sex session with two of the strongest Heroic Spirits had left me understandably drained. In more ways than one._

" _Gods above, woman...how did any man survive more than a single night with you? That was thorough in a way that beggars my powers of description."_

 _The Queen of Ulster has the decency to look mildly embarrassed at her actions, the bombshell of a woman wrapped in several furs and lounging in one of the rough hewn chairs of her fortress-home._

" _Ahh, yes...it seems I owe you two an apology for my sudden..._ aggressiveness _. That was a rather unseemly way to treat two guests."_

 _I can't help but chuckle and cheekily reply, "You know, I was going to say that we could easily stay more than a few days, but you proceeded to jump me and my companion's bones before we could say otherwise. That time frame of just a few days is an incredibly arbitrary thing that we can change at the drop of a hat."_

 _Now she looks_ sheepish _, of all things._

" _Again, I apologize for my actions. I hope I did not cause you two any discomfort?"_

 _I glance down at Altera, the two of us entwined beneath another helping of animal furs, my arms wrapped around her lithe and warm frame, an uncharacteristically languid expression on her noble features._

 _...Well, she_ had _been the 'meat' of the sandwich for most of the night. I'd probably be pretty satisfied too._

" _Trust me, Lord of Spirits...discomfort is about the furthest thing I think either of us are feeling right now."_

 _I can't resist making a joke about this, however._

" _I see legends didn't exaggerate of your skill when handling a weapon with a shaft. Your hands and fingers have godly levels of skill."_

 _She laughs, a full-bodied giggle that seems to raise the mood in the admittedly dreary cave by a fair bit as she leans forward, cheshire grin on her features as the furs gathered around her shoulders slip slightly, displaying a generous portion of her generous cleavage._

" _Oh? And you have had the pleasure of being able to compare various wielder's talents upon this shafted 'weapon'? I no longer feel so special..."_

 _Two can play at this game._

" _You needn't worry, for I am something of a floriculturist and I can say, without a doubt, your flower is one of the most rare and beautiful specimens I have ever encountered."_

 _Her eyes dance with a playful light._

" _Well as something of a connoisseur of weapons with a haft that must be firmly gripped with two hands, I can firmly attest to your own being a well crafted and sculpted piece of art."_

" _You flatter me, surely a Queen such as yourself would have nothing but the finest of weaponry pass through her grasp at one point or another. How can a simple wanderer and his stick hope to compare against the tools of Heroes?"_

" _Ahh, but some Heroes and their sharp, pointy objects lack a certain...charm to them. Such as the ability to hold a woman's attention for more than a few minutes at a time."_

 _We stare at each other for a few seconds, neither so much as blinking-_

 _-and both burst out laughing simultaneously, even Altera wearing a small smile._

" _Well well, Queen of Ulster, I must say it's been awhile since anyone has matched me in a battle of innuendo wits. You have my deepest respect and admiration."_

" _And mine yours. Spirits only know when I last had an opportunity to engage in a bit of playful banter."_

 _We fall into a comfortable silence shortly afterwards, broken only by Altera asking, "Master, may we stay for a while?"_

 _I give the tanned woman a long suffering look-call me_ Horatius _, dammit-while Scáthach giggles in the background._

" _Master? It seems I underestimated you, Horatius. You are into much more erotic play than I first gave you credit for..."_

" _That's not me, that's all her. C'mon, Altera, back me up here!"_

 _She gives me a cute expression before tonelessly agreeing with, "I will back you up, Master."_

 _...I swear, I think she says things like that on_ purpose _._

" _It seems on some matters she is not nearly so..._ flexible _."_

 _This time the slightest upturning of Altera's lips convinces me that yes, I'm being made fun of._

* * *

 _A few weeks in the Land of Shadows tends to leave one with an appreciation for the more colorful parts of life._

 _Such as greens, yellows, reds and other such shades of the rainbow._

 _In here everything is just grey, black, white and shades of concrete diarrhea._

 _No wonder they call it the land of the dead...it_ sucks _here._

" _You seem deep in thought, Horatius."_

" _That is the opposite of true. My current thoughts couldn't be any more shallow and surface-level if they were a kiddie pool in the sky."_

 _Scáthach chuckles._

" _I actually appreciate the context behind that statement now. Your descriptions of the modern world are quite fascinating."_

" _Well you were nothing if not a fast learner. One of these days I'm going to have to to take you to the movies, they're incredible to actually see in person..."_

" _...Yes...one day..."_

 _I don't miss the melancholy in her tone as she repeats my words, prompting me to stare at her sidelong._

 _I've got a plan and method to free her from this lousy place...but I want to hear a few things first._

" _Legends say you departed from our world in order to safeguard it from the Land of Shadows, that after fighting for so long and defeating countless Gods, Demons and other similar creatures you became something of a demigod yourself."_

 _I thoughtfully gaze out at the dead land surrounding us._

" _How much of that is true, and how much is embellishment? How do you feel about this legend personally? One needs only compare Attila the Hun's legend to the reality that is Altera and spot the inconsistencies right away..."_

" _Her tits, for example."_

" _...Yes, Scáthach. Those are indeed an inconsistency."_

 _The moment of levity passes. With a heavy sight the maroon-haired woman begins with, "At the beginning, I truly believed that my assuming the mantle of 'Guardian of the Lands of the Dead' would immortalize me, cast my name among the greatest warriors of all time and guarantee my legend eternal."_

" _Well, you certainly succeeded."_

 _Her smile turns bitter._

" _If what you have told me of the current age is true, then yes, I succeeded. And I would give that fame up in a_ heartbeat _if it freed me from this stagnated_ prison _."_

 _...That admission catches me off guard, to say the least._

 _Crossing her legs and resting her chin on an open palm her voice takes on a faraway lilt._

" _At first I was actually quite welcoming of my duty, no shortage of powerful foes and spirits ensured I never lost my edge, guaranteed that I would have to improve my skill forever more..."_

 _A derisive snort._

" _I overestimated my own strength of character. Perhaps within...what, a century? Maybe two? Regardless, after however long I began to..._ regress _. The lost thrill of combat left me barren, my skills could no longer improve-this land's denizens long having lost all semblance of a challenge-and I began to wonder. Was it all worth it? I gave up every Human and emotional connection I had ever known, all for the pursuit of my craft. A craft that could no longer be honed."_

 _Her cadence becomes slow and melancholic._

" _In some of my less proud moments, I_ allowed _the beasts and wraiths that stalk these plains to attempt escape, desperate for_ any _possible method of freedom from this dead world, uncaring of the consequences of my selfishness."_

 _An ugly sneer mars her beautiful features._

" _I could not even die, this land having long gained a tight hold on my soul. I_ tried _."_

 _A wince I have no control over causes my muscles to twitch, Scáthach noticing my action._

" _Indeed. To answer your question, about how I feel towards me legacy, Horatius? I_ despise _it. I despise it so much that I even tried to take my own life, a cowardly and ignoble action that didn't even have the courtesy of working, leaving me to face my shame for all of eternity. The worst part, of all this? Escaping this realm isn't even_ possible _. I watched all manner of monsters try to break free, eagerly awaiting their results and planning to replicate them...and none succeeded. Even the_ reason _I assumed this mantle was made a joke."_

 _She heaves a long, inflectionless sigh._

"That _is my position, Horatius. Does it live up to your expectations?"_

…

 _Fuck, what do I say to_ that?

 _Well, at least I have a good solution that can maybe turn this mess around._

" _No, but then I was careful not to really_ have _any expectations. I've encountered my fair share of Heroes and Legends, enough that I tend to keep an open mind."_

 _Shit, look no further than the disaster that was my centuries long interaction with Tiamat…_

 _Goddammit, I_ need _to get over that at some point in my life._

" _Regardless, would you be interested if I told you I have a way to free you from your internment here?"_

 _Her body halts all motion in a freeze so complete any passerby-assuming passerby are even a thing in this crappy dump-would mistake her for a statue._

" _You...this isn't a jest? Not yet another cruel twist of fate?"_

" _No. This offer is as real and tangible as I am."_

 _She sags, face still hidden from view and voice completely neutral._

" _...How would you even go about creating a miracle that neither myself nor the olden Gods and Demons of this tomb could?"_

" _Well the actual method itself is pretty straightforward...but you know how I carry a facet of Gaia around with me? Long story short, I can borrow that power and destroy the Land of Shadows in it's entirety. No reforming, no regenerating...gone. Everything and everyone inside of it scattered to whatever after-existence awaits it."_

 _I offer a playful grin._

" _And I think it goes without saying that you've earned that spot on the Throne of Heroes a hundred times over."_

 _She finally faces me and all I see is disbelief and raw hope etched across her features._

" _...You can do this?"_

" _Horatius can indeed do so. He has performed such actions in the past."_

 _Altera kneels next to me from where she silently approached, tone even and I can't really bring myself to care right now._

" _Y-you finally called me by my name!"_

" _I did, Master?"_

…

 _Ok, she's_ definitely _just fucking around with me right now._

 _Introspection is brought to a halt as two hands with impossible strength yank me upright, Scáthach no more than a centimeter away from my face._

" _When can you begin?"_

" _Umm...so you're certain-"_

" _More certain than I've ever been in my life._ WHEN?"

" _Well...right now, really."_

 _She releases me and stares at the dreary sky with an expression I can only describe as serene._

" _Very well, at your leisure."_

" _Whoa ok, slow down a second there...I actually wanted to make a request of you before I begin."_

 _Her face twists and for a moment she looks ready to start yelling and telling me to get on with it before relenting, giving a small huff of irritation before testily asking, "Well? Name your price!"_

 _Altera and I share a glance, a near imperceptible nod passing between us._

" _As you no doubt noticed, Altera is a pure Heroic Spirit, sustained and fed by Prana. I can repeat the ritual for you, if you so wish."_

That _gains her attention._

" _A summoning ritual?"_

" _Yup._ _You interested in creating a legend actually befitting of a warrior like yourself? I tell you now, me and Altera go to a_ lot _of interesting places and meet a ton of unnatural creatures. And then more often than not kill them, but hey. No one ever said travel is safe._ _"_

 _The Lord of Spirits bows her head, obviously lost in thought...until she meets both of our gazes, an uncomplicated smile upon her features as she detaches a necklace from around her neck, simple and roughly etched symbols on it's stone surface._

" _A gift from my mother. If that does not reach me from the Throne, well...I would be most surprised."_

 _I'm about to respond with genuine gratitude, shocked that she so swiftly granted my and Altera's desire when she steps back, eyes closed in contentment._

…

 _We can talk later._

" _ **Castles crumble, Empires fall. Villages wither, Nations bicker. Travel the World and Drown it all, Death comes for all!"**_

 _A_ _nswering my call Irappu rouses itself from it's 'slumber' and we merge, my body disappearing from the Land of Shadow's grasp as a greater power lays claim._

 _Destroying this dead plane of existence is_ easy _._

 _In isolated patches and tunnels molten rock flows, the few remaining lifelines of this tomb-world that I take advantage of._

 _The mantle rips itself to shreds at my behest, gouts of lava spewing into the air-_

 _-and with steady 'breaths' I rouse the still atmosphere into doing as I wish._

 _I had been present for the firebombings of Hamburg, the raging firestorm giving me an idea on how to create a suitably remarkable send off for the Lord of Spirits._

 _Compressing the balls of heat and pressure ever further and further, within a few minutes what had been an avalanche of fire and rock is now a miniature sun no larger than a fingernail, violently struggling for release._

 _Through Irrapu's senses I can sense the denizens of the Shadow Lands frantically trying to wrest control of their imminent doom away from me...but they're far too late and far too weak._

 _A 'snap' of my fingers releases the orb of destruction from it's confinement-_

 _-and one final, echoing laugh from_ _Scáthach_ _marks the passing of the Land of Shadows in the brightest light it would ever see._

* * *

…

...My dreams seem to have been more vivid as of late. Almost eidetic, really...not that I'm complaining about their contents, meeting Scáthach and Altera were definitely the highlights of my life…

I heave out a breath and rise from the bed, stretching and making sure I'm limber...all while ignoring the Ouroboros Dragon still watching me, evidently not having moved a millimeter from where it first sat down.

Is it just going to follow us everywhere we go now? Christ, I hope not…

" _Everyone ready to hit the road?"_

" _Of course! Anything to get away from this glorified interrogation chamber..."_

" _At your ready, Master."_

...Still nothing from Gilgamesh, huh?

Well, we'll tackle that later. For now, we have a potential fortress to escape with guards who may or not be hostile.

A smirk crosses my lips.

Doesn't that sound like fun?

* * *

 **Yikes, around two months since I last updated!**

 **Apologies about that, but I lost track of time and my train of thought and only got back to business as of now.**

 **But we back, baby!**

 **Side notes about this chapter, I took a few liberties in regards to Trihexa's actual powers and legend-not that they were particularly well explored beyond, 'has powerful lazors and regen fast'-and made it similar to Great Red and Ophis in terms of 'existential powers'.**

 **Not too much more to speak of, review time!**

 **Kinunatzs the Eternal: Oh, there wasn't anything wrong with it, it's just that we have different ideas on how to portray the Spirits abilities. And I didn't want to just blow you off so I took the path of least resistance and made a frown face.**

 **I am well versed in communication, hur hur.**

 **Jokes aside, I appreciate that you're sticking around despite having disagreements!**

 **Dxhologram: If you think my few paragraphs of Issei POV was bad, try reading the entire Light Novels (which I sorta forced myself to do) which are largely from his perspective, with that similar train of thought. It's soul rending XD**

 **Other than that hope you enjoyed my interpretations of the deities of Nasuverse, I had to take a few liberties with what little there is too glean from sources available.**

 **Ruberforumfee: I've written lemonade before but I typically don't go out of my way to write it. Mostly because I have to be in the mood to actually write that stuff and I wasn't feeling it at this juncture. I do have one planned out later-actually part of the story-but otherwise that's sorta just it at the moment.**

 **And there are a ton more reviews that I read and take into account, the fact that I'm now getting twenty-plus more reviews each chapter is a bit insane-in-the-membrane (makes it hard to reply to em'), thank you all, readers!**

 **...**

 **Also did anyone else see the new Halloween 2018 trailer? Seriously spooky shit right there!**


	7. The Art of the Deal

Ch 7: The Art of the Deal

Horatius

Without preamble I unlatch the door, swinging it wide as I stroll on out.

Two of what I'm pretty sure are Fallen Angels turn towards me, neutrally polite expressions on their faces as one of them states, "Do you need someth-"

 _WHAM!_

Both of the door handlers crumple like puppets with their strings cut, courtesy of Altera smashing their heads together.

I step over their unconscious forms without breaking stride and silently approach the next entryway, smirking as I go.

I'm just glad it wasn't Mr. Ikuse on guard duty, I would have felt bad about having to knock out the perfectly polite and helpful gentleman. Never mind that I don't think it would have been _quite_ as easy as it was to take out those two, he seems the type that has hidden depths.

I reach for the handle-

 _Click._

-And I'm left hanging there like an idiot, arm outstretched as the door swings away from me...revealing the entirety of the school children gang on the other side, blinking in surprise as they see me standing alone with a pair of knocked out forms in my wake.

…

Shit.

"Oh, good, I was just about to call for a doctor, these two collapsed all of the sudden. Isn't Miss Asia a healer?"

For a split-second I dare to hope that I fooled them and can just quietly sneak away, as they minutely relax at my words-

-and then rationality sinks in, the kids tensing as they come to the obvious conclusion that I'm just talking out of my ass here.

...Yeah, if it didn't work for Han Solo, it ain't gonna work for me.

The leader redhead takes a deep breath, no doubt about to call for help-

-and has the gathered breath in her lungs crushed out of them as I tackle her to the ground, one hand clasping over her mouth and the other jamming a Gradiationed pistol into her skull.

...Of course, that frees up the blond male to manifest a sword from seemingly no where and drive it towards my throat-

-until Scáthach drives the heel of her boot into the side of his head amidst a scattering of crimson light, slamming the swordsman _through_ the opposite wall with a loud _BANG!_

 _Gracias, mi amor._

The brown-haired lust boy and black-haired girl with the big tits both charge forward right after blondy, the former manifesting some kind of crimson gauntlet along his arm while big boobs summons lighting to dance between her fingers-

-and both promptly eat spear, Scáthach twirling a Gáe Bolg in a blindingly fast defensive arc that knocks them clean into next week, professional blows to the head that'll ache something _fierce_ when they wake up.

They'd been so focused on getting to the redhead that they'd ignored Scáthach. _Big_ oopsie daisy right there.

" _Thank you for not killing them."_

" _It took a great deal of willpower, I'll have you know."_

I have no clever response to that admission and instead haul Red to her feet, gun screwed tightly into her temple and shout, "Ok, everyone just _calm down!"_

Thankfully they heed my instructions because sweet _Aurelius_ they have a lot of mystic codes-or at least the equivalent,whatever-primed and at the ready.

Ok, deep breaths, Horatius, we can still get out of this with no one dead or dying…

"Alright, so we _clearly_ got off on the wrong foot here, basically from the word go. But hear me out on this, me and my companions aren't looking for a fight."

Cold glares and chilly silence greet me.

Fuck, tough crowd…

"All we want to do is peacefully exit this building and be on our merry way, not get into-keep channeling mana into those eyes of yours, Mr. Gasper, and I'm going to assume you're being hostile-a fight to the death. Let us walk out of here and everyone lives happily ever after, ok?"

More death glares.

Oh c'mon, I'm trying to meet you all halfway here!

Thankfully they eventually respond, a girl with blue hair and a single green highlight warily asking, "And how do we know you're telling the truth?"

"You mean other than the fact that I haven't let Scáthach here run wild and kill you all? Hard to say."

" _Technically you've never really_ let _me do anything, Horatius."_

" _Shut up, I'm trying to avoid the scenario where we waste a bunch of children."_

" _Such a bleeding heart."_

Finally the situation deescalates, the redhead in my grasp calmly stating, "Do as he says, everyone."

Weapons are finally lowered, prompting me to release a sigh of relief as I quietly whisper, "Thanks, I guess my negotiation skills aren't as good as I remember them being."

I only get a cold glare in response.

...Right, hostage taking and everything.

"Ok, everyone back up the hallway nice and slow, take your guys and gals with you. No funny business."

Grudgingly-and _slowly_ , which is annoying-they gather up their comrades and do as I order, sidling down the corridor, their eyes watching mine even as Scáthach stalks a few paces in front of me, spear held steady and slight smile upon her lips.

Feeling kinda bad about the whole deal I again mutter, "Sorry about all this, I was hoping to get out of her before anyone noticed...but apparently my timing sucks."

Red's tone is frigid as she tightly replies, "Yes, how _unfortunate_. The Queen of Ulster seemed to take no small amount of pleasure in harming my precious servants."

"While I'll freely admit she can be kinda a Bitch sometimes-"

" _Oh, flattery? You shouldn't have, Horatius_ _."_

"-in all fairness you _did_ annoy her when you waltzed in, assuming you knew her life story from just a few online articles of dubious authenticity."

Conversation predictably dies from that point onwards.

...What a mess.

* * *

"Ok, I'm taking Red with me to the entrance, you all go into that room over yonder and stay put until she comes back. If I hear any alarms, I'm wasting her."

Yet _another_ round of glares while the girl I'm using as a bargaining chip scowls, grumbling, "I have a _name_ , you know..."

I ignore her complaints and wait as the rest of her 'Servants' enter the designated room, relieved that things will ideally go according to plan for once-

" _Horatius, something_ _just teleported in next to us_ _!"_

-and goddammit I just _had_ to go and jinx us, didn't I?

I twist the redhead around so that she's facing towards the imminent threat Scáthach warned me about-

-and even my typically stunted ability to sense mana starts to go haywire.

There's _nothing_ but trouble on the other side of where we're headed next.

...Universe, I get that I take a lot of liberties with the 'rules' you set down, but could you maybe cut me some slack once in a while?

The door clicks open, revealing four figures on the other side.

One that could be a relative of my impromptu hostage, all crimson hair, fair skin and sea-green eyes.

A woman with silver-steel hair done up in a braid, a maid uniform worn like a second skin.

One last unfamiliar face, ruggedly handsome with a goatee and black and gold hair, suit worn open like a playboy.

Lastly, Mr. Ikuse himself, blinking in evident surprise at the scene before him.

…

"Hi."

Apparently my attempt at levity is the trigger for utter chaos to commence as the maid and relative start _pouring_ out raw mana, a deluge that has me inwardly cursing.

Does _everything_ in this damn universe have absurd levels of power, or am I just unlucky?

Crimson-tinged spheres of blackness manifest around the redhead and I blanche as oh you have _got_ to be fucking kidding me.

 _Molecular deconstruction?_

Shit, more like molecular _destruction_.

Go figure I would take hostage a potential relative of someone with borderline True Magic shit like that.

...I've got an idea that just might work.

I spin the girl around so that she's facing her-brother, father?-and give a nice, hard _shove_.

That sends her directly on a collision course towards one of those nasty little orbs.

That's the thing about something as indiscriminate as molecular destruction, it tends to have friendly fire issues.

The man pales, dispelling the sphere she was on a collision course with, the maid cancelling whatever it was she was about to do as she yanks my former hostage out of the way-

-which affords me enough time to leap forward, reinforce my leg as far as it can go...and kick the redheaded man square in the nuts, propelling him back through the hallway with a manly squeak of agony.

I slam the door shut-fighting down the guilty feeling of having destroyed a fellow males testicles-and sidestep as Scáthach hurls a Gáe Bolg through the handle, an _Anker_ rune adorning the length of the shaft.

A quick application of reinforcement to the thing has the wall light up with vein-like mana channels, a fortification that would stop a charging rhino with nary a scratch to show.

Which is why I practically jump halfway to the ceiling when there's a god-awful _BANG_ that _splinters_ the entryway.

" _Scáthach, better find us a_ _nother_ _way out of here, me and Altera will hold."_

She doesn't waste time replying, instead astralizing and no doubt going on a rapid search of potential exits, my first companion materializing alongside me, Photon Ray at the ready.

I brace myself for a fight-

-and blink as instead of another blow that'll kick down our impromptu barricade there's a polite knock.

"Hey, you still over there, Mr. Horatius?! Don't suppose you can undo this wild shield of yours, can you? We just wanna talk!"

Ikuse's voice-a far quieter and more sheepish one-adds, "We understand that sounds exactly like a trick, but...we're being honest? The guy who was just speaking was my boss, Azazel. We actually wanted to talk to you regarding the contents of your mission, since we also wish to see it completed."

...That gets my cautious attention.

"Is that so? Well you'll forgive me for being a _little_ careful, since that guy basically tried to erase my entire existence."

The man that isn't Ikuse laughs uproariously.

"Yeah, you'll have to forgive Red over there, he's a total siscon~!"

...Well I suppose I should be flattered that this guy apparently has the same taste in nicknames that I do.

I glance at Altera, the Hunnic King mildly shrugging, obviously awaiting my decision.

"...You were saying something about making a deal?"

"That is correct, Horatius. I apologize that we have to meet again in such a manner, it seems I either forgo courtesy or am unable to properly give it..."

I raise an eyebrow as I recognize Michael's voice joining the conversation, relaxing a fraction more as I dare to hope this might resolve itself without anybody getting stabbed.

"Well what do you say we work on that, eh? One of you slowly walk through that door, hands first, and I'll accept that you're honest about this."

"Deal~!"

I raise an eyebrow at the swift response from who Tobio said is named Azazel, nonetheless removing Scáthach's spear from where it's embedded, removing the reinforcement from the handle-and _only_ the handle-before stepping back, Altera taking up a vanguard position with mildly narrowed eyes.

We aren't kept waiting for more than a second before the knob rattles briefly and the door swings open, the relaxed looking man I first saw calmly strolling forward with his hands raised, lopsided grin adorning his features.

"See? Everybody is friends here...well, except for Red, maybe."

I glance behind him, taking stock of the remaining hallway crew-

-and can't decide whether to laugh or wince as I see the man's balls I squished curled in a fetal position, his now revealed sister and the maid hunched over him.

"D-don't worry, Onii-sama! Asia can fix this, j-just hold on!"

A low groan is his only reply and I figure wincing is a more appropriate action.

Shit, now I feel kinda bad…

Casting my attention towards less depressing subjects I notice Michael and Gabriel staring at the downed man with no small amount of bemusement, alongside a face I don't recognize.

Handsome, with a lackadaisical air that gives off the impression of someone you would have to go _way_ out of your way to dislike. He seems to be on good terms with Ikuse, if the inaudible-yet friendly-conversation they're having seems any indicator.

I send a dull glare at the still smiling Azazel's face, resignedly asking, "Alright, so what's this deal you all seem so eager to get started on?"

* * *

 _"_ _Horatius, this is the best present you could have ever gotten me~!"_

" _Drop it, since we're now apparently on the same 'side' I feel worse about this than I did before."_

" _Unless my_ _understanding of modern nomenclature is woefully off the mark, typically it is a_ woman _who is referred to as a ballbuster..."_

" _Please stop."_

One last chuckle from the Queen of Ulster has me rolling my eyes in exasperation as I bear witness to a morbidly hilarious scene.

Namely, the Asia girl who healed me on her knees before the now named Sirzechs Lucifer...sporting an atomic blush has she repairs his groin with some sort of emerald light, the older man studiously looking anywhere else... _especially_ away from his wife, Grayfia Lucifuge, the maid.

…

She seems like she's trying-and failing-not to smile.

Taking pleasure in your husband's maiming is rather rude, you know…

"So, Horatius!"

I meet Azazel's gaze, the man seemingly oblivious to his supposed allies discomfort...or deliberately trying to draw away attention from it.

"We heard about the Dhampire's vision from Rias and the rest, and how you three are actually here to kill it."

"Technically, we're here to stop it from crossing over from your universe to ours...but yeah, I guess the end result is the same."

He nods in acceptance of my ultimately pointless clarification.

Nice one, me. Way to waste a perfectly good breath of air on a distinction without difference.

"Well long story short, we'd _love_ it if you actually succeeded, so we were gonna offer you some help along the way!"

I take a moment to gaze around the room.

Ikuse and the blonde man-Dulio Gesualdo-are standing guard at the room's entrance, both attentively listening to our discussion.

Michael, Gabriel and Azazel are all seated on a variety of upholstery, a trifecta of deal-pitching no doubt aimed at getting me to accept.

Sirzechs let's loose a sigh of relief as Asia finishes her work, the blonde girl offering a smile and bow to Michael and Gabriel, nod to Dulio-which he returns-before departing, allowing the head Devil and Grayfia to turn their full attention on me.

...Yeah.

And finally there's me, Heroic Spirits astralized and slumped in a chair, legitimately missing the giant spider-crab-bear things.

At least _they_ had the decency to be upfront about the whole 'kill and eat you' thing and then _stay_ dead once I stopped shitting myself and blew them back to the Stone Age.

Chitin age.

Whatever.

"It sounds like you all have some past experience with Trihexa, or at least have a good idea of what it was capable of. Care to fill me in?"

Glances are passed around before Gabriel gravely states, "Yahweh and a few others first battled Trihexa several years before the common era, only managing to seal it away rather than outright defeat it. Even the location of it's imprisonment was not revealed to us, such was father's desire for secrecy."

Azazel makes an airy gesture with his hand, lazily adding, "Which is actually kinda scary stuff, when you think about. Pops and his allies were-and in some cases still are-the strongest beings we know of. For all of them to take this thing on and _only_ be able to halt it's rampage is no laughing matter. Shit, most of us 'in the know' agree that ol' 666 is equal in strength to both the Ouroboros and Dragon of Infinity."

I bite back on an aggrieved sigh at the confirmation of what I already expected.

" _Well doesn't_ this _sound like Mercury levels of shit? And let's not forget the midget Ouroboros we already fought is supposedly only a third as powerful as the original..."_

" _You worry too much, Horatius. We won't go in with half-baked plans again, now that we have an understanding of our foes. Just leave the kill to me and my dear sister!"_

...I'm tempted to ask why she left Gilgamesh out of the equation before deciding this is neither the time nor the place to get into _that_ particular discussion.

…

"Am I the only one freaked out by the fact that the Ouroboros has been staring at me-unblinking, mind you-for the past ten minutes? And for hours prior to that?"

Ophis makes no comment-or even reacts, for that matter-to my observation, the rest of the room shrugging.

"Better you than me."

I give Sirzechs a tired glare, the man obviously enjoying my discomfort.

...I'll let it slide, since I _did_ pop his jingle balls earlier.

"Ok, I'll bite. What kind of aid do you want to offer?"

Dulio and Ikuse offer up a few waves from the entrance, prompting me to raise an eyebrow.

"Me, Gesualdo-san and another who hasn't arrived yet should be able to help you on your journey, Horatius-san. It's a long trek to this 'End of the World' and there are no nearby teleportation sites we can use. The Underworld can be a dangerous place if you're outside of the inhabited areas."

Dulio affably grins, his voice softly accented as he adds, "And while we may not look like much-"

Yeah right, those two couldn't be screaming 'more than meets the eyes' than if they were able to transform into cars.

…

Kischur better not fuck with my action figures while I'm gone.

"-Tobio, myself and our chronically willful associate are rather powerful. I'd like to think we won't hold you back _too_ much."

I think about that for a moment...and shrug.

"No complaints here, if you and your mystery buddy are onboard with this I see no reason to object."

The room seems to relax a fraction at my words, prompting me to ruefully grin.

I guess they really thought we weren't gonna play ball…

"One thing _does_ worry me _,_ though _."_

"Really? Only one?"

Azazel ignores my comment, continuing with his train of thought.

"This is all assuming Trihexa is gonna be breaking out of it's cage, right? So who exactly is picking the lock?"

To my-and no doubt Scáthach's-surprise golden light coalesces in the room, moulding into the form of the Queen of Heroes, still stuck in her younger body.

"The answer to that, Fallen Angel, is quite simple. When we took the Vampire from her prison, we encountered a most unpleasant man, as well as two Dragons of less than desirable temperament."

While I'm happy that she's apparently back in action after her long silence…

" _May I ask why you're sitting in my lap?"_

" _Is that a complaint, Gladiator?_ _In my time m_ _en would fight to the death_ _just for the mere_ opportunity _of my thighs gracing their skin."_

" _Well that's great and all, but I prefer a lady with a bit more mature body. I just feel_ old _when you do this."_

" _...I will overlook you insinuating that I appear as a_ child _only as apology for my reclusiveness these past hours."_

In the time our rapid-fire mental exchange was occurring the rest of the room gained looks of wary curiousness.

"And just who were these three? And how do they tie into what we were talking about?"

Gilgamesh smirks and crosses her legs, leaning back into me as she imperiously addresses the group.

...What am I, some kind of Mystic Armchair?

"They spoke of traveling to another world, of causing destruction there in unmitigated capacity. Seeing as how our quest involves this Trihexa encroaching upon our reality, they are obviously the likely culprits. The Dragons titled themselves Crom Cruach and Grendel-"

"Pardon me for interrupting...but you _did_ say Crom Cruach and Grendel, correct?"

Gilgamesh merely smiles indulgently at Michael's gently asked question, replying, "I most certainly did _,_ Angel. You sound perplexed."

Sirzechs cups his chain, a faint scowl on his face as he muses, "We call them and a few others Evil Dragons, although we had long assumed them either dead or in unbreakable stasis. This is troubling news indeed..."

"Perhaps for you."

I roll my eyes at the Queen's boast.

"Now, where was I? Ah, right. The Devil went by the name Rizevim-"

 _CRACK!_

All heads turn towards the doors, where a young man with silver hair, angular features and striking blue eyes is standing completely still, snarl etched upon his face.

...And judging by the way the massive entryway has splintered and shattered, his grip has quite a bit of force behind it.

"You _saw_ my most... _esteemed_ Grandfather?"

His tone is a low growl, animalistic in nature and cadence.

Oh, swell. Familial troubles.

"But of course. And who might _you_ be?"

I'm about to run damage control over the Queen of Hero's confrontational tone-

-when Ikuse steps in, setting a hand on the young man's shoulder, his tone resigned as he states, "Horatius-san, allow me to introduce my old friend Vali Lucifer. He can be...single-minded."

Vali dully glares at his 'old friend', dryly saying, "That is a rather reserved way of introducing your supposed _old friend_ , Tobio."

Ikuse's smile turns slightly wicked, a bizarre look considering his normally polite and affable persona.

"Oh? And imagine my surprise when I heard that you _betrayed_ Master Azazel, a rather odd action from my _old friend."_

I don't think anyone misses the minute twitch from Vali.

"...I'm on your side again?"

"Of that I have no doubt. After all, what did you use to call yourself when we first met? The White Dragon of Justice, or something along those lines? Wearing a ninja mask and-"

The twitch is _very_ noticeable this time.

"That was a _phase_ , Tobio."

Gilgamesh gives an irritated huff, sharply interrupting with, "This truly is a heartwarming reunion...but to what my point was _originally_ going to be, it is rather presumptuousness of you all to assume that we need something as superfluous as _guards_."

...Well this is going to be awkward, considering I already agreed to this whole deal. And it's not like I can say otherwise. I mean, how the Hell am I supposed to properly argue when the way she's sitting make me look like her favorite Grandpa?

Thankfully someone steps up to bat as Azazel smiles, replying, "It's not meant as an insult to your skills, if that's what you're worried about. But considering how things went when you ended up here, don't you think it might be a good idea to have your boyfrien-"

Gilgamesh glares a glare that could incinerate a Dragon.

"-Uhh, you're _compatriot_ guarded by some additional help?"

I can't help but dully stare at the miniature Ouroboros, remarking, "Well as long as Ophis doesn't send her little clone to fucking _eat_ us...I think we'll be fine."

Onyx eyes meet my own as the little girl neutrally states, "Lilith scared of, you. Not going to, hurt."

...Right.

I turn back to give the three a look, mentally weighing how good of an idea this actually is.

Ikuse clears his throat, tactfully remarking, "I understand you may have reservations about working with us, Horatius-san, considering some of your...less than stellar treatment thus far."

Dulio gives the two Angels a meaningful look, gently adding, "Especially since some were uncharacteristically rude to a guest..."

Michael and Gabriel appear slightly ashamed of themselves and I fight back the urge to scratch the back of my head.

 _Seriously_ not used to being a point of contention in other people's lives. Normally I just eliminate trans-dimensional threats and be on my merry way, no muss no fuss.

Ikuse claps Vali on the back.

"But don't worry, even the White Dragon God of Righteousness and Justice will help us!"

The young man's fist tightens with an audible creak.

"A _phase_ , Ikuse."

...Well, I'm not one to say no to a comedy routine, considering that's what my life sometimes feels like.

"Alright, I'm in. Again. Welcome to the team, you three."

I ignore Gilgamesh's pout.

No doubt she would deny that the Queen of the World does something as childish as _pout_.

* * *

"You'll be safe, right?"

"As safe as I can be in Vali-kun's company, Sae. Thankfully Dulio-san balances him out a bit, so that's something."

"I was _talking_ about Horatius-san and those three he has with him, Tobio..."

I hide my smile behind a yawn, staring listlessly at the surrounding landscape, a fairly well maintained garden of trees and grasses surrounding the building I was briefly interned in.

Seems Ikuse's girlfriend has a good head on her shoulders. We _are_ trouble.

"So no significant others for the two of you, huh?"

Vali scoffs.

"I have no interest in romance. Such relations would take up too much of my time."

...Alright then.

Dulio just genially smiles and explains, "I quite like the idea of meeting my significant other at some point in the future...although she would have to be something of a saint, to handle my eccentricities. Or so my friends tell me."

"That's a better answer than the Eunuch's over here."

The silver-haired man shoots an annoyed glare in my direction, scathingly retorting, "I am not _sexless_."

"Could have fooled me."

He rolls his eyes even as Dulio chuckles, in turn asking me, "And what about you, Horatius? I think that's only a fair question, seeing as how you broached it."

A sad, nostalgic smile pulls my lips upward.

"We're...separated."

"Oh. My apologies, then."

"Don't sweat it, it's an honest question."

The two of them curiously gaze at where Altera, Scáthach and Gilgamesh are lazing nearby...although I don't miss the occasional sidelong glances the Queen of Heroes and Queen of Ulster are giving each other.

...There's either going to some _seriously_ hardcore make-up sex between them later...or a no-holds barred duel to work out their issues.

Flip of the coin which, Scáthach can be unpredictable at the best of times…

A passionate kiss between Ikuse and Sae signals the start of our departure, the young man joining us with a resolute look on his face as his girlfriend heads back inside the base.

"Are you ready, kiddo?"

Ikuse's lips twitch in a smile, his voice amused as he asks, "Kiddo? If you don't mind me asking, just how old are you, Horatius-san?"

I have to think about that for a moment.

"Err, gimme a moment here...uhh, I was around when the Punic Wars started...I think? Shit, been awhile since anyone asked me that. Let's just say I'm around 1800 years old. 2400 if you account for things like time-dilation, time spent in ageless states...weird stuff like that that doesn't really fit into my spreadsheet, if you know what I mean."

Three blinks from each of those present in turn.

"Oh...you are as old as some of the more ancient members of our species."

I dryly glance at Dulio.

"Way to make me feel like an old man, kid."

I'm about to tell Gilgamesh that we need a ride when four unexpected visitors show up, namely Sirzechs, Michael, Azazel and Ophis.

...I'll freely admit to being apprehensive about that last one.

"You seven weren't planning on leaving without saying goodbye, were you?"

Scáthach snorts, retorting, "That is actually precisely what we were planning on doing."

Strained smiles all around, prompting me to give the warrior Queen a tried look.

" _We just managed to finally be on somewhat good terms with these people, can you_ please _not try to antagonize them?"_

" _You have been rather forgiving of their transgressions, Horatius."_

" _If by that you mean I'm not being a hardass about everything, then sure."_

Regardless, the three leaders of the Angels, Fallen and Devils rally themselves while Azazel explains, "So this is a bit last minute, but we have one last addition to your party here..."

"Last minute surprises are always me least favorite, you know. Who are we-"

A brief twisting of shadow next to the Ouroboros and once it coalesces into a proper shape I project my best attempt at a deadpan stare.

"No."

Ophis simply nods her head.

"Yes."

"I'm not doing this, _stop_."

"You will want, help..."

My acidic glare focuses on the gothic dress-wearing midget otherwise known as Lilith.

Who's hiding behind Vali, clutching his leg and warily staring at me with nervous eyes.

"I don't want _this_ help."

Azazel boisterously laughs, cheekily saying, "Too bad, you're stuck with her."

A disgruntled huff leaves my lungs with all the grace of a fat hippo.

"I...I promise to be good..."

The midget force of conceptual nature sounds like she's trembling in her boots and oh for fuck's _sake_.

Why am I being made out as the villain here by being rude to a child?!

"Fine, whatever...let's go already."

A round of smirks follow me as I trudge away...although I don't miss Altera silently picking up the girl in her arms and carrying her with all the natural grace of a mother.

...What is it about her that the Ouroboros and her little clone find so calming?

" _Gilgamesh, please get us out of here."_

" _With pleasure, Gladiator."_

A Gate of Babylon disgorges another fully prepped Vimana, the ancient craft peacefully hovering a few meters above the ground as I gratefully leap atop the thing, the rest of my party following suit.

"We'll stay in touch, Master Azazel!"

"Ok, we'll be on the alert just in case we have to come running as backup. You kids have fun out there!"

I decide not to bother finding out if I'm the oldest one present, instead offering a silent prayer of thanks as Gilgamesh climbs into the pilot's throne of the craft, eager to be away from this nightmare of awkwardness, passive information gathering and crushing other men's balls.

…

I _knew_ coming to this universe was a bad idea.

* * *

 **Ok, real talk, I'm gonna TRY to not have almost 2.5 months worth of downtime between chapter uploads...that's just the way the cookie crumbled this time.  
**

 **Although since college starts up again in about a week's time...eh, stay tuned :D**

 **Dxhologram: Sure, WE know Solomon was a thing (I mean, if you want to take it as gospel faith that everything Fate/Go does is real...although I have no idea how you want to explain freaking Passionlip), but why would Horatius? All he would know of Solomon is that he was some crazy powerful Magus that said he saw God in a dream...and then made fuckton of crazy ass demons. Sounds more like typical Magus behavior than it does the act of someone conversing with super benovelnt God, don't it?**

 **And he sure as Hell isn't going to use the articles that already exist in that universe as a basis, since they've already been proven to be of dubious accuracy.**

 **Primordial Serpent: Yah, I can see why you would get confused over that statement XD I meant it in the sense that black _'absorbs'_ light (hence the 'presence of every color')...but you're absolutely right that from a straightforward interpretation that line isn't really correct.**

 **Sorry in advance that I'm skipping out on a TON of reviews, but I just went to the doctor for the first time in about 8 years yesterday and had my blood drawn, got a tetanus and HPV shot as well as a vision test all in one day.**

 **Thankfully the blood results say I'm damn healthy but in between the shots and drawn blood I feel like someone whacked me upside the head with a hammer.**

 **I'll try not to pussy out and answer stuff better next time XD**


	8. Queen Vs Queen

Ch 8: Queen VS Queen

Horatius

"So tell me a bit about yourselves. I mean, if we're going to be fighting together against some conceptual monster of God it'd be nice to have some details beyond your names and surface level observations. That way we can properly mourn each other if we happen to die heroically."

Dulio, Tobio and Vali all stare at me in confusion as I collapse to the surface of the Vimana currently tearing it's way across the sky, still providing a smooth ride despite the fact that we're easily pushing mach velocities.

Their stares are no doubt because I look like I'm tweaking on speed or something along those lines. I'd been watching the scenery below blur by for the past hour...and my Origin had started screaming like a lunatic at me, almost to the point where it had become unbearable.

So many _things_ to see!

 _Numerous_ mountains as tall as the most massive peaks back home, snow-capped and with large, winged creatures circling around their spires.

Fathomless lakes with shadowed, bethnic forms swimming beneath their deceptively placid surfaces.

Endless forests with trees that surpassed skyscrapers, mammals and insects of completely bizarre proportions winding through the shaded canopies.

And then there are the truly bizarre formations...crystalline landmasses floating through the air, unsupported. Canyons and crevasses that make the Yarlung Tsangpo look like a crack in the asphalt by comparison. Lands filled with nothing but bio luminescent plants and animals, shining like a roadmap of life from far above.

I'd had to turn away and settle for making notes in a little journal I carry around, just for situations like this one.

"Well there's not a whole lot to tell...I mean, I could delve into my entire history but I feel like I can summarize myself with just a few words."

I chuckle at Tobio's comment, easily replying, "And I appreciate that. Gods only know some people can't resist spouting their entire life stories, thinking that does a good job of explaining who they are."

Dulio, Vali and Tobio all settle into a more comfortable sitting position-

-and I have to resist the urge to glare at Altera as they do so.

Namely because she's calmly seated with a content expression, Lilith nestled into her lap with her eyes half-closed.

"Why are you treating that little monster in disguise like she's some sort of puppy?"

Calm, crimson eyes meet my own.

"She is soft and quiet."

…

I'm 2000 years too old to be feeling jealous, which makes it all the more aggravating that I _am_ jealous. What the Hell? It took me _decades_ to convince Altera she was well within her rights to ask for physical intimacy and then this little slice of Armageddon just goes ahead and accomplishes that within _hours._

"Are you aware of what a Sacred Gear is, Horatius-san?"

"Yup. I'm gonna go ahead and assume your doggy there has something to do with it?"

The young man smiles as his wolf-looking pet dozes on his lap, lightly petting it before answering, "Indeed. Jin here is an Avatar-type Sacred Gear, a Longinus at that."

I raise an eyebrow at his admission.

"A Longinus, huh?"

"Indeed. Both Vali-kun and Dulio-san also wield Longinus Gears, hence why we were sent with you, I imagine."

"I take it this ties into your past?"

A slightly melancholy smile graces his lips.

"It does. Several years ago Sae was abducted by a group that attempted to implant Sacred Gears into people who were otherwise not born with them. I was unaware of the Supernatural at the time and had to take something of a crash course, since I desired to save her."

He good-naturedly nudges Vali in the ribs.

"I met this battle junkie during that time, along with a few others. I managed to rescue Sae and awaken Jin as my partner, but..."

He bashfully scratches the back of his head.

"It just felt...wrong, to go back to a normal life after I learned of these events in the world. I signed on to the Grigori and eventually Sae did as well. We've been helping them ever since."

I smile at his tale, remarking, "Ah. So you're one of those rare, genuinely decent people."

"That's kind of you to say, Horatius-san, but I don't-"

"Kid, I've been alive for a _long_ time. I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character."

He seems to finally accept my words-albeit sheepishly-as I glance at Dulio, who merely chuckles.

"My tale is a far less exciting one. I was an orphan until a Church took me in. From there it was discovered that a Longinus resided within my soul and, well...I felt it was only fair to repay the world back the same kindness it offered me, a nobody orphan."

I accept that explanation with nod, turning to Vali who neutrally states, "I wish to fight the strongest in the world and one day be accounted as the most powerful of them all."

I raise an eyebrow as he noticeably glances at the three Heroic Spirits but Tobio quickly interjects with, "Vali, you're dishonesty knows no bounds. Just admit that you only want that power so that you can protect the family you desperately want. There's no shame in admitting _that._ You were this way even when we first met. _"_

The silver-haired youth scowls at his friend's words, annoyedly replying, "No one asked you, Tobio."

"And no one requested that I remain silent, so there."

I can't help but snort at their byplay, amused at the obvious familiarity they share.

"And what about you, Horatius? If you've been alive as long as you profess to have been, surely you have all manner of exciting tales to tell?"

"I think I can say, without any undue arrogance, that I have no shortage of tales to tell. I guess I can start with-"

Both Altera and I's heads snap to the front of the Vimana we're riding on, a surge of mana cluing me in to the fact that a certain pair of Queens might have just decided to settle their differences the old-fashioned way.

I glance towards my riding companions.

"You all might want to prepare for freefall."

* * *

Scáthach

"We need to talk, O great and wise ruler. Have you come to a decision yet? I pray that it's a good one~!"

I don't bother trying to hide the open threat in my pleasant tone.

Arrogance drips off the still youthful Queen's frame as she lounges in her throne, crimson eyes boring into mine with a scowl.

"Do you have some lifelong grievance with me, Witch of Dun Scaith? Because if so I would advise you to forget it. Those that named me as their enemy have not long survived in this world, a fate that will befall you should you continue to pester me so."

"Oh? _Is that so?_ Well to answer your question, _Gilgamesh_ , I do have a grievance with you. One that I've brought to your attention many times. Is it lifelong? No, but it _is_ one that I am more than willing to take your life over. _"_

Mana gathers in the air, ruby markings on the Queen's body flaring to life as her usually regal demeanor devolves into one of fury and bloodlust.

"You would _dare_ threaten _me?!"_

"Oh my, have I touched a nerve? Well whether this comes as a surprise to you or not, Queen of Uruk, when I told you I valued my current existence more than I did any potential aid or grand design you may have created, I _meant_ it."

Golden light suffuses the air around me, several _Gates of Babylon_ casting the Queen's shaking frame into shadow.

"I believe your tone could use an improvement, _Witch."_

A Gae Bolg solidly smacks into my waiting palm, a feral grin pulling at my lips as the thrill of an imminent fight heats my blood.

"And no doubt you're going to be the one to do it? In that reduced, frail little body of yours?"

Predictably a shimmering portal flickers to life above the Queen's hand, depositing a flask into her waiting grasp that she swiftly uncorks and drinks, tossing aside the empty container that scatters into motes of gold as her body regains it's former state, accelerated growth highlighted by a soft white glow.

"You are _such_ a predictable soul."

"Spare me your pathetic banter, Lord of the Dead."

All trace of cheer leaves my voice.

"Only if you would spare me your excessive ego. You seem to be under the misguided assumption that just because you _say_ we should aid you, that we should be _subservient_ to you, that we will. Your _assumption_ is false."

I let my teeth show.

"You were merely summoned on a _whim_ , Gilgamesh. And on a whim you can be dismissed. Do not assume that I will suffer your presence if it destroys the peace and existence I have _earned_. Horatius will _always_ value my presence over yours, the presence of a companion that _listens,_ that he can _talk_ to _._ A forgotten, arrogantsovereign who only demands and extorts can be discarded at will."

My words strike true, the Queen's countenance shifting into one of unmitigated fury as she roars, "You have NO right to belittle my rule! I sacrificed _everything_ to fulfill a destiny that no other could have shouldered, a fate that I could not ignore, lest my people remain enslaved to the whims of uncaring Gods! Can you possibly even _conceive_ of the burden of my knowledge, Scáthach?! To know, even as a child, that it would be your _destiny_ to fight and rule, with no alternatives lest innocent men and women suffer for it?!"

I can only scoff at her words.

"You speak as if you are the only Hero to have been immortalized on the Throne, to have suffered great burdens and been struck with inexorable tragedy...I name that as _arrogance_."

My faithful spear begins to emit bloody light, shuddering at the prospect of spilling blood.

"I was hailed as a teacher of heroes, in my time. Allow me to impart you a valuable lesson...a lesson of your own hubris."

* * *

Horatius

"You know, you would think after having so many years of experience with it falling from the sky wouldn't bother me so much."

Altera calmly rotates to face me as her pale hair whips around wildly across her face, tone calm as she replies, "It would seem Scáthach and the Queen of Heroes have begun to battle, Master."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

My sarcasm goes unheeded as I scowl at Lilith, the girl _still_ securely held in Altera's grasp as we plummet to the ground, seeming just as calm as the King of Combat.

The Vimana we'd been riding on had been ripped in half without warning, the two Heroic Spirits initial clash being more than powerful enough to damage it's flight capabilities and send us overboard.

...I guess it was a bit too much to hope that they would find a different way to solve their differences.

Hell, even on the way down I can make out a veritable storm of golden light and twirling red as the duo continue their battle throughout our approach to terminal velocity.

"Beg your pardon, Horatius."

A pair of hands lightly grab under my arms and arrest my momentum, a glance backward revealing Dulio with ten snow-white wings sprouting from his back as he offers a pleasant smile.

"I appreciate the lift. Set us down a ways away from the two hotheads, we'll have to let this one play out on it's own."

He wordlessly follows my suggestion, Vali swooping down on a pair of metallic appendages vaguely reminiscent of a Dragon's as he picks up Altera and Lilith, Tobio riding downwards on a pair of floating _swords_ , of all things.

...This fight is going to turn ugly, or my name isn't Horatius.

We arrive at a 'safe' distance of around a kilometer away, the distant sounds of clashing metal and kinetic _cracks_ reaching our ears even from this far away, the gathered group staring at me with clear expressions of, 'well, now what'?

"Stay clear of their battle, let them fight things out and just make sure nothing flies this way and kills us by accident. Altera? Keep a close watch on them."

She wordlessly nods at my unspoken command to make sure nothing _too_ lethal is busted out...as willing as I am to let those two work their differences out the hard way, actually killing each other is crossing a line.

Locking a sigh behind my teeth I drop into a lotus position, letting my eyes half-close and regulating my breath, gradually opening my circuits and bringing forth the nigh unlimited power that Irappu offers.

If those two want to duke it out so badly, I might as well let them do so to their utmost level.

" _Frozen Domain."_

The temperature around me cools, gradually approaching freezing as the three younger males next to me wince and put some distance between us.

This time I'll be able to do this _properly_. If I can meditate and cool my body as I long ago learned to, with no distractions, I can properly supply the Spirits with the fathomless ocean of energy that I have access to, despite my mediocre circuits.

Magic Circuits can actually be opened quite a bit, providing a rush of power that, theoretically, can power magecraft far beyond what would be considered 'normal'. The problem is that in between the heat generated from such an action-as well as the associated pain-the practitioner will almost certainly either die or pass out before being able to fully accomplish such a feat.

But if you're like me-old enough to make most Apostle's seem like Spring Chickens-you have time to practice, to experiment and to find _just_ the right balance between cooling my body and making sure it doesn't spontaneously combust.

…

Side effects may include my skin looking like some kind of glowstick disaster zone, my ten overlaid circuits blazing with enough light to illuminate a sports stadium.

Falling into a hypnotic rhythm I turn my attention outward, following the flow of mana I'm providing and reading it's movements, allowing me to subconsciously follow the battle raging between two of the most powerful Heroic Spirits in existence.

Because if I was trying to ascertain events with just my normal, non-reinforced eyes it would be a lost cause.

There's something... _different_ about Heroic Spirits, a trick that their ascension affords them.

When the adrenaline kicks in, when their battlelust reigns supreme...they _think_ faster than almost any other creature alive on the planet, a supernatural cognition that turns them into the legendary forces of destruction spoken of throughout Human history.

Magi, Enforcers, Apostles, Executors...all of these disparate factions of the Moonlit world have discovered-and routinely practice-various methods that afford them enhanced reflexes, faster movement and greater strength, enough so that they could potentially engage your average Heroic Spirit on equal ground.

That's a polite fiction.

All of the power in the world can't match the _application_ of it, which is where Heroic Spirits-and by extension Servants-utterly trounce most other forces.

I'm probably the only Human-aside from a few statistical outliers-that's managed to attain the sheer cognitive speed the higher class Heroic Spirits employ, only by means of directly reinforcing my brain and eyes...and even _then_ following the movements and rapid flicker of thoughts that pass for mental processing among Altera and Scáthach is damn near impossible.

Case in point Scáthach darts forward, two Gae Bolgs accelerated at breakneck speeds towards Gilgamesh courtesy of a _Vind_ rune, the maroon-haired woman close behind.

Gates of Babylon spring to life behind the Queen of Heroes, a variety of weapons spilling forth as they intercept the thrown spears and manage to knock away one of them, the other continuing unabated.

In response a golden tower shield with hieroglyphic inscriptions on it's surface falls into her grasp, the accelerated Gae Bolg meeting the aegis head on-

-and falling to the ground with almost lazy grace, all semblance of momentum and lethality gone from the crimson spear in the blink of an eye.

Momentum canceling, or perhaps some other form of kinetic manipulation, is afforded by that shield.

Evidently agreeing with my snap analysis Scáthach recreates another Gae Bolg in her hands, closing the distance between the two Heroic Spirits with a single, graceful bound.

The Queen of Heroes ducks behind her shield, a Gate of Babylon disgorging a riding saber like weapon into her free hand as Scáthach makes a lighting swift jab of her spear-

-and redirects it's momentum at the last second through a harsh rotation of her wrist and an artful application of another _Vind_ rune, the barbed weapon lodging itself _behind_ the shield rather than into it.

Before Gilgamesh can either force her back or strike with the saber Scáthach's bodysuit lights up with tightly interwoven runes, the skeins of energy turning what would merely seem an artful and provocative bit of clothing into a suit of armor equal to any piece of legendary equipment.

It also gives her one _Hell_ of a punch, as evidenced by her open palm _slamming_ into the haft of her spear and knocking the Queen of Heroes away from her shield with a rush of displaced air and echoing _CRACK_ of said spear being snapped in two.

Not that the Queen of Uruk lets that slow her down, a mechanical crossbow appearing in her hand that unleashes a deluge of lightning at the Lord of Spirits, Scáthach ducking to the ground and avoiding most of the barrage while her shoulder pauldrons absorb or deflect the rest of it, shining with excess energy and runework.

The onslaught of lightning projectiles ceases-the odd looking weapon smoking and wavering with released heat-as Gilgamesh casts it aside, Scáthach charging forward once again with a Gae Bolg manifested and at the ready.

Yet again a Gate of Babylon disgorges a forgotten relic, this particular piece resembling a guillotine made of burnished silver. An expert twist of the Queen of Hero's wrist locks the barbed spear within it's clutches, redirecting the strike downwards-

-and with a pull of some kind of trigger the guillotine snaps shut, breaking the crimson weapon clean in half, the saber held in her free hand slashing forward with pinpoint accuracy, odd tremors around the blade suggesting that some kind of supernatural force is present.

Sure enough a thin cut is opened on Scáthach's cheek, despite the saber's swing being well short of it's target. Rather than disengage the Queen of the Dead dances straight into the opposite woman's grasp, an open palm slapping aside a return sweep of the blade-

-and with a textbook Hane Goshi hip toss Scáthach grabs Gilgamesh's outstretched arm and brutally slams her opponent into the ground, the force of impact cratering the dirt and stone beneath them.

Victorious grin on her lips the Lord of Spirits places a palm of Gilgamesh's armored breast, shouting, _"_ _Jörð!_ _"_ and causing the Earth around them to shift and mold itself to the stunned Queen of Hero's armored body, effectively immobilizing her with the verbal application of a single rune.

Yet another Gae Bolg flashes to life in her waiting palm, Scáthach now openly smirking as she angles the weapon to cut into the gaps in Gilgamesh's armor-

-and with a flash of golden and white light the air shrieks, solid Earth turned to ice as a Mystic Code in the shape of a blooming flower flash freezes the area around the two battling Spirits, allowing Gilgamesh to brutally force her way out of her prison with a resounding _CRACK_ of shattering ice, the Gae Bolg piercing through the ground where her neck was a bare moment ago.

Scáthach makes to pursue but a deluge of mundane weapons forces her to briefly pause and bat away the stream of blades as the Queen of Heroes leaps to her feet, anger clearly visible in her body language despite the helm and armor concealing her features.

Not that Scáthach gives her a chance to regain her bearings, several spears shattering the golden portals as they launch towards them, the crimson-haired Queen's original weapon glowing a bloody red as she inscribes several runes upon it's surface with blisteringly fast motions.

 _Vind, Fýri_ and _Stakra_ inscriptions flare to life and even through my trance I warn, "Better duck and cover."

If there are replies I don't hear them as Scáthach thrusts the spear forward-

-and the horizon detonates into a blinding flare of light.

Wind, fire and the concept of 'pushing and staggering' combined into one physical movement. As Scáthach likes to say, true mastery of runes is using simple formulas to achieve the most lethal of effects.

A small scale thermobaric explosion races towards the Queen of Heroes at breakneck-literally-speeds, the Golden Hero only having time to manifest a shield of golden petals that more than passingly reminds me of something Emiya can create…

And all Hell breaks loose as the ground beneath me jumps, air ripping at my skin and lungs as I frantically try to keep my temperature steady despite the excess heat bleeding everywhere from the chaotic detonation.

...I'd say we're quickly arriving at the point of things getting completely out of hand.

And then the _humidity-_ of all things-around me shifts, forcing me to once more adjust _Frozen Domain's_ effects so I don't accidentally incinerate myself.

Odd, what would have caused…

Oh.

A blurry glance upwards reveals a veritable _lake_ of water floating overhead, shifting and undulating with languid motions as I redirect my attention to where Gilgamesh had been standing before the explosion took place.

Ash and smoke gradually clears to reveal a molten landscape and golden shield that's cracked in more places than I can count...but nonetheless did it's job, the Queen of Heroes standing untouched amidst the destruction as the barrier shatters into motes of light, the armored woman raising a gargantuan weapon high above her head, hieroglyphic inscriptions dotting it's pristine blade.

A weapon I recognize-through old texts and recordings-as the Axe of fucking _Marduk._

An imperious gesture with the oversized blade causes the miniature ocean overhead to clench-

-and then an arm the size of a bloody _skyscraper_ rockets towards Scáthach, countless smaller limbs trailing behind as the landscape darkens, the natural light of the realm being blotted out by condensed water.

And through it all Scáthach merely smirks.

The arm nearly closes upon where she confidently stands-

-and with a blur of movement she leaps past the crushing fingers that would have turned an ocean liner into paste, alighting upon the water and proceeding to _run_ up the length of it, slowly working her way towards where Gilgamesh still stands.

Dozens of writhing lions, soldiers and dragons form from the limitless body of liquid far overhead, throwing themselves against the possessed woman who, with unmatched dexterity, either avoids them of outright destroys the constructs.

Yet another gargantuan limb tries to slap Scáthach into oblivion, the Lord of Spirits now sufficiently close that she doesn't have as much room to maneuver, several dozen Gates of Babylon flaring to life in an attempt to overwhelm her with attacks from all directions, the golden glows reflected in the shifting light like some kind of demented art display-

" _Soaring Spear of Piercing Death!"_

-and even more Prana is drawn from my well of energy as a single Gae Bolg flies directly upwards, coming to a halt right in the midst of the converging attacks where it detonates in a dazzling display of lethality, arcs of bloody light flying in every direction.

Gates of Babylon struck by the scintillating darts are shattered into nothingness while the water itself loses cohesiveness and strength, falling to the ground below like so much discarded rainfall.

And in the midst of the deluge Scáthach blitzes forward, closing the gap between her and her opponent with a feral smile-

-that's immediately turned into a scowl as golden chains snap forward from yet more portals, entwining her arms and legs three links apiece, yanking her appendages as wide as they can go without actually levering them from their sockets, no doubt to compensate for the massive increase in strength her bodysuit and runes provide.

It seems Enkidu works just as well against Godslayers as it does full-blooded divinity.

Gilgamesh relaxes for the briefest of moments, the divine axe in her grasp lowering slightly...and Scáthach grins manically as a plan no doubt forms in the span of a second.

Her fingers rapidly trace lines over the chains binding her wrists, two runes of _Gangr_ and _Skarpa_ buzzing to life-

-and with a sharp rattle the divine chains quickly reverse direction and shoot back into their portals with nary a pause.

Clever.

'The act of going' and 'to erase or remove'...liberally interpreted-which Scáthach is a master of-that combo could be thought of as, 'the act of moving to erasure or removal'.

Applied to Enkidu's binding properties, it merely caused the chains to rewind their previous motions as opposed to trying to brute force some kind of solution.

It certainly seems to confound the Queen of Heroes, her frame twitching slightly as if she can't quite decide which action to take-

-and the decision is made for her as Scáthach dashes forward, spear in hand as both Queens of old launch killing blows at the other…

And both skid to a stop nearly twenty meters apart, Gilgamesh sporting a freely bleeding wound on her thigh where Scáthach's spear found flesh, the Queen of the Dead also decorated with a shallow but long slash across her waist where Marduk's favored weapon struck home.

Both women spin to face the other, eager grins once more turning to fearsome scowls-

-and my senses go haywire as bloodlust seems to _pour_ off of them, my circuits supplying more energy than ever as Scáthach crouches, holding her spear in a very _familiar_ fashion as jagged arcs of energy leap off of it's length, signifying the activation of it's Noble Phantasm.

Gilgamesh responds in kind as she rips Ea free from a Gate of Babylon, the spiral sword rapidly gathering streamers of black and red energy as both warriors no doubt ready finishing blows.

"Should we, umm...stop this?"

Funny that Ikuse should mention that.

Because I wholeheartedly agree.

Altera is already gone, sprinting forward with an unmatchable burst of speed in Gilgamesh's direction while I make my own move. My circuits are already flooded with energy so it's with a simple application of _Knip_ that I'm at Scáthach's side, smoothly grabbing her wrist and twisting it 180 degrees before sweeping her feet out from underneath her and jamming my knee into the small of her back, simultaneously cutting the flow of Irappu's power and depriving the Heroic Spirits of any further energy, my body no longer glowing like some sort of bioluminscient ocean dweller.

A glance upwards reveals Altera with her own implacable grip locking the Queen of Hero's arm behind her back, Ea no longer rotating as the Photon Saber rests at her neck, the slightest twitch capable of removing her head from her shoulders.

...I guess it was a good thing they were so intent on killing each other, otherwise they probably would have seen us coming.

"What the Hell are you doing?"

I return my gaze to Scáthach, the crimson-haired woman glaring up at me as I let some of my aggravation show before tightly replying, "Putting an end to this farce. Not only do you two reshape a fair portion of the surroundings but then you go ahead and bust out the causality and reality warping Phantasms?"

I scowl upward as the lake begins to fall downward, the Axe of Marduk no longer keeping it suspended-

-and it abruptly ceases it's descent, Dulio calmly raising a single hand skyward as ten white Angel wings sprout from his back, obviously controlling the thing with his Sacred Gear.

I offer a quick nod in his direction that he returns before I go back to scowling at the two warrior queens. With the influx of mana cut off Gilgamesh gradually reverts to her prior teenaged form, whatever trinket or Noble Phantasm she was using to reverse the effects of the Elixir obviously wearing thin...not that it stops the two from obviously trying to murder each other with their gazes alone.

"It must be nice, being able to forget what we're here for, willing to go to incredible lengths to kill the other despite the consequences such an action might bring about. Never mind the all too likely scenario in which the _both_ of you died. Be honest with me, what the Hell is you're problem with each other?"

To my growing annoyance Gilgamesh just spits on the ground-somehow managing to look incredibly dignified while doing so-while Scáthach violently scowls.

"Don't expect me to be so forgiving and amicable to one who would place her own desires over all of ours combined, who would see us dead because of her _pride_."

And my patience abruptly wears thin, sighing as I tug on Scáthach's arm as I put some space between the two.

I don't doubt that she's humoring me by letting me do so, but whatever.

A good dozen or so meters away and I turn an annoyed glare in the crimson-haired woman's direction, only for her to cross her arms and petulantly look away, unapologetic in the slightest.

It seems to be a universal fact that the older and more powerful you are, the more petty and childish you become. Look no further than Kischur and myself for proof…

"Scáth...is it really _that_ bad? Adapting and changing to accept a new member of our team?"

A frustrated kick of her boot sends a spray of dirt halfway to the horizon, voice an irritated growl as she replies, "She is just so... _frustrating!_ I had no difficulties fitting in with you and Altera, it was the easiest thing in the world. The oh so mighty Queen of Heroes? What seemed like an excellent beginning to a new companion in our lives now has me wishing I had throttled her within an inch of her existance _earlier_."

That admission causes me to genuinely chuckle.

"Scáth, that's how the _vast_ majority of relationships go. It's a rare bond indeed that fits so perfectly as ours did. Not everyone suffers from all encompassing loneliness and knows all too well what that feels like. And it's a damn _certainty_ that not everyone is going to treat you as the unbeatable teacher of some of the greatest heroes to walk the Earth, or appreciate your sacrifice."

A small, wistful smile tugs at my lips.

"Most friendships or romances are built upon the foundation of a thousand tiny grievances. Forgetting to buy groceries, leaving your shoes where someone will trip on them, forgetting to pay a bill, eating the other person's dinner...not sharing the same _beliefs_ on certain subjects."

Millennia of memories return to me unbidden, my connection to Irappu and it's perfect recording abilities not _allowing_ me to forget.

"Most of the time, people are just so _different_ that it can take _years_ before they truly begin to understand one another."

 _A memory of teal, braided hair that shimmered like waves._

 _Soft, perfect skin that was as comforting and warm as the sun._

 _Horns of the purest jade and turquoise, polished to a level that could display one's own reflection_ _in them._

 _A brilliant, coiling tail that was cool to the touch but could caress with all the gentleness of a cloud._

 _Pink, exotic eyes that held both exhaustion and sadness...but a spark of happiness regardless of life's trials._

I have to violently shake my head to rid myself of _that_ particular line of thought, never in the mood to relieve those times.

Instead I can focus on all of my _other_ relationships, the ones over the many years I've been alive. The monogamous, polygamous, polyandrous...all the way from the Americas to the furthest reaches of Asia.

And every single one of them was doomed to heartache as I either outlived my partners or my inescapable desire to wander forced me to leave...divorce in it's many forms and definitions inevitably following.

I notice Scáthach staring at me with a furrowed brow of concern, quietly sighing before wryly stating, "And sometimes, even when people _do_ perfectly understand one another...the differences are just too great."

Realizing that I'm going off on a tangent of reminiscence yet again I quickly smile and state, "But sometimes the best of friendships are based off of initial dislike. Hell, the second time we met in person Kischur-after he realized what me and Irappu were capable of-had it in his mind over the years of communication that I was some kind of threat that needed to be destroyed."

Scáthach's brow furrows as she angrily states, "You never made mention of that! Nor did I ever see it in your memories! What was that deranged Vampire _thinking?!"_

I can only shrug.

"Well I never bothered mentioning it because it's all in the past, you probably never saw it in my memories because there's a _lot_ of material in there and you don't have access to Irappu's categorical abilities...and Kischur was probably just doing his job, regardless of how he personally felt about things."

Scáthach huffs but nonetheless asks, "So how are you even still _alive?_ Even if he is a bit of a clown I would never question the old Apostle's skills..."

I have to resist the urge to smile as her eyes dart to and fro, no doubt trying to find the particular memory on her own.

"I caught him by surprise, naturally. Gradiated a stick of lit dynamite right in his face, _Knip'd_ in front of him, kicked him in the balls and then turned him into a Black Key pincushion."

Scáthach's eyebrow raises in amusement.

"And that put an end to things?"

"Sorta. I basically had to talk his ears off that I wasn't a threat, gave him a wet willy to end all wet willys and then we became legitimately good friends afterwards."

Heh, not that I would count on getting that lucky again. If he had come at me with the same level of preparation he went after Crimson Moon with I would have been dust within seconds.

I'm a lucky old man.

To my utter lack of surprise Scáthach once more becomes sullen, wryly asking, "So why are you regaling _me_ with this tale? Why not our resident Queen of Egos?"

"Because, Scáth...I'd hoped that you would be the more mature and self-aware of the two of you."

I hide my wince as my words obviously hit hard, blood red eyes widening in open shock.

"Think. Upon first summoning her the first thing you and Altera did was profess interest in working with her. You fought together splendidly when we made the jump to this world and then were nothing if not friendly when she claimed that she desired to guard her kingdom alongside us."

I let some of my legitimate disappointment color my tone.

"And then we rescued Miss Valerie, Gilgamesh acting as she always had, performing actions that were as natural as breathing. And then she's caught off guard, almost killed on the spot if it weren't for our intervention less than a week after her summoning."

I shake my head.

"You don't think that event alone would have been something of a wake up call? A _memento mori_ sort of revelation? Imagine if _you,_ the Godslaying Queen herself, had been the one to be brought low by an ambush and subsequently rescued by people you barely met more than a few days ago. You don't think that would _sting?"_

I allow her only a moment to think on that before continuing with, "And what is her reward for almost perishing whilst nursing a bruised ego? For someone she had no doubt thought of as a partner and ally to suddenly threaten her with violent death if she doesn't _immediately_ change the way she's always operated."

Scáthach gazes off into the distance.

"Have you considered that maybe, just _maybe_ , the invincible and unbeatable Queen of Heroes is even more bewildered and frustrated than _you_ are? She can't force you to obey, you're both equally stubborn and you both were considered some of the most powerful Queens of your time. Would you entertain the idea that she doesn't really _know_ how to deal with this?"

The Lord of Spirits now looks thoroughly miserable as the depth of her actions hits home, prompting me to quietly sigh as I gently run a thumb over her shoulder, a comforting smile on my face.

"We're _all_ Human, Scáth. Altera figured that out pretty quick-Hell, she was the one to clue _me_ in to what was happening-and it's your turn to extend the olive branch."

I silently gather her into a hug, the woman huffing out a gargantuan sigh.

"...To think that I, the teacher of heroes, still have such basic lessons to learn...what an unpleasant feeling."

A legitimate laugh escapes me as I playfully reply, "Get used to it. 2000 years and change of existence hasn't made me immune to learning new things on a near daily basis. Life has a way of making you feel like a fool no matter how many candles you get to put on the cake."

"What a comforting thought."

Tilting her chin up as I smirk I cheekily remark, "Hey, if anyone can figure out how to solve things...it would be _Scáthach_ , the teacher of heroes, right?"

Flawless lips tilt upwards in a small smile.

"Flatterer."

"As if it's ever a bad thing to impart compliments to such a lovely woman like yourself."

"You're not helping your case."

I merely shrug and offer, "Shall we face the music?"

A roll of her eyes and we return to where Altera and Gilgamesh are still waiting, the tan-skinned woman giving me a nearly imperceptible tilt of her head that I return in confirmation, relaying that we don't have to go knocking anyone out. Yet.

A rather awkward moment passes as the two Heroic Spirits stare each other down, looking for all the world like mismatched siblings-

-until Scáthach breaks the ice with a slight sagging of her shoulders as she begins with, "I suppose I may have been acting rather...bipolar, recently."

The diminutive Heroic Queen arches an immaculate and blonde eyebrow, drolly asking, "Oh, you were? I couldn't tell, it was such a subtle-OW!"

I have to do a triple-take as Altera just _twisted_ the young woman's ear with an unyielding hand, normally placid features turned downwards in a frown as she chides, "Listen."

Gilgamesh gapes like a fish out of water and I don't rightly blame her.

 _That_ was an unexpected turn of events.

"Let's jump to the heart of the matter. I'm willing to put up with your shortsightedness and arrogance as long as you don't mind putting up with me occasionally acting like a Bitch."

The golden-haired teen mutters something that sounds vaguely like 'occasionally?' before Altera gives her a significant glance, silencing any complaint.

The threat of ear twists are real.

"Well as uneven a division of labor as that sounds...I suppose compromise would be an acceptable outcome of our disagreements."

"Indeed. Me having to make significant concessions to account for your inflated sense of self-importance is unfortunate, but I will just have to make do."

Oh Hell.

Thankfully for my sanity Gilgamesh just takes her rebuttal in stride, proudly puffing out her chest and announcing, "As the superior Queen, it would be remiss not to do as all great rulers have done and adopt new styles of leadership as the situation demands. That is what a true Queen would do, after all. Recognize what is broken and subsequently fix it."

A ferocious smile reveals pearly white teeth.

"Such as your attitude, _dearest_ Scáthach."

The sound of knuckles cracking as the Lord of Spirits grinds her teeth echoes across the landscape as Altera and I share a look of mutual suffering.

Baby steps, Horatius...we'll get there eventually.

* * *

 **Hah! Remember that time when I said I'd try not to have almost 2.5 months of waiting between chapters?**

 **(blows raspberry)**

 **Goes to show how _that_ turned out. So I'm not gonna promise anything other than I AM going to be continuing this story, it ain't dying anytime soon. It will just be slow. Like a snail riddled with Elmer's Glue.**

 **ak95: Come on now, give me SOME credit XD**

 **I did some basic research when working on the translation and cited sources state, and I quote, _'_** _ **The **Tamil script** is an abugida script that is used by Tamils and Tamil speakers in India, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, and elsewhere to write the Tamil language, as well as to write the liturgical language Sanskrit, using consonants and diacritics not represented in the Tamil alphabet.'**_

 **Feel free to correct me otherwise, but it seems pretty safe to assume that Tamil was used to write out Sanskrit ideas and recordings, so they're kinda-sorta-maybe-language is hard-the same thing.**

 **PhoenixBlaze123: The relationship between Horatius and the Heroic Spirits will have a label (if you really want one) put to it in later chapters, but Tiamat is absolutely an old flame, I guess you would call it**


	9. Christmas Special

The Greatest Prank That Was Never Pulled

Horatius

"So what's so important that you called me away from my holiday wanderings, Kischur?"

The old Vampire doesn't reply other than to keep cutting open a bunch of delivery boxes, distractedly asking, "Where's Altera and Scáthach? I was hoping they would be here."

"They decided to visit Scáthach's old stomping ground for a few days, we were gonna meet up on New Year's. Why?"

In a familiar gesture he ignores my question and instead asks, "So you know how I usually pull some kind of benign prank during the holidays?"

"I wouldn't call replacing Rudolph's glowing nose with a facet of the Jewel Sword 'benign' but continue."

He starts chucking reams of wrapping paper over his shoulder and setting down dozens of little Elf figurines, prompting me to raise an eyebrow.

"Well _this_ Christmas I decided to do something a _little_ special. And you're going to help me with it alongside-"

A knock at his room's door has me raising an eyebrow, the Sorcerer snapping his fingers in a distracted manner and causing the entryway to swing open.

"So what's the big rush, Schweinorg? Calling me out on a-oh, long time no see, Horatius-kun!"

A long mane of red hair, bright blue eyes and attractive Japanese features greet me as Aoko Aozaki strides into the room, an answering grin of my own matching her upraised lips.

"Aoko-chan! It's been what, two years? How's my favorite girl who leapt through time?"

She rolls her eyes at my favorite cultural joke but returns my hug nonetheless, flippantly replying, "Oh you know, same as usual. Cosmic threat over there, cosmic threat over here. Geez, save the world once and it's your job _forever_. Where's Altera-chan and Scáthach-chan?"

"Off enjoying a well deserved vacation of their own. Although this now begs the question...the last time the three of us were gathered together like this-"

"We ended up in a cage match against ORT, I know. It's the frickin' _holidays_ , Schweinorg! I get that even _you_ try to be serious once in a while but I just want to relax!"

The Apostle merely grunts as he finishes unpacking the final box, a wreath of mistletoe joining the elves and stuffed plushies before he grins back at us.

"No worries, no worries! Today we're just going to have a little fun with the Mage Association and call it a night, sound acceptable?"

Both Aozaki and I share a glance.

"Replace the word 'Mage Association' with 'Mercury' and you have an almost word-to-word reenactment of your pitch before we ended up fighting for our lives against a damned Aristoteles."

The Vampire clicks his tongue in annoyance.

"Oh sure, bring up the truth. But seriously, no battles against super aliens today. Instead I need you to follow me around and say ominous things as I decorate the Association. We should be done by tonight."

Another glance is shared between me and the redhead.

"...What exactly are you planning, Kischur?"

His grin in response to my question would send Primate Murder running away on the pronto.

"And just why would I spoil all the fun? You two will just have to wait and see like everybody else."

Two simultaneous sighs leave the both of us, resigned to the fact that helping this lunatic will probably be far easier than brushing him off.

…

And, you know, we _are_ kinda curious.

* * *

"So how's Shiki doing? I hear he and Arcueid finally managed to reunite after awhile."

Aoko kicks her legs back and forth from where she's perched on a nearby bit of furniture, cheerily replying, "Oh, they're doing great! The kid finally found his resolve and made his decisions, I'm just happy to have helped out!"

I raise an eyebrow and amusedly ask, "Help hitch the Death Perception and White Princess together? Aoko-chan, I don't know if you've created one incredibly powerful deterrent against threats to Humanity or doomed us all."

She winks playfully.

"Well, you know me! Always stay true to yourself and worry about the consequences later!"

"I think I read that in a fortune cookie once. Go figure you're life philosophy could be summarized within a small dessert."

A sharp smack and pouty frown on my arm has me chuckling as we go back to watching the main entrance to the Clock Tower, a massive staircase almost ten meters wide and forty something long, inlaid with expensive wood and precious metals.

My request to have a zipline added to the damn thing was summarily denied.

And through the constant stream of traffic, of Magi and Enforcers and occasional Atlas member and who knows what else...Kischur has set up shop, humming carols to himself while standing atop a ladder, hanging Christmas wreaths from the ceiling by hammering nails into them and no doubt giving the architects who designed this place minor heart attacks even beyond the grave.

The looks he's receiving are, put bluntly, nothing short of fucking _hilarious_.

Newbies to the Association openly gawk and point, veterans pale and swiftly leave the premises...and the Lords-ever the dignified, pompous assholes that they are-adopt a more regal form of powerwalking as Aoko and I just hang around and chat, adding an extra flair of ominousness to the decoration process.

Two wielders of True Magic, one with a reputation as an incorrigible prankster and the other as stubborn and headstrong as they come, alongside a dude who could physically rip the planet in two if he ever felt like it tends to make people nervous.

"Wizard Marshall...what in the name of the _Root_ are you doing now?"

I raise an eyebrow at the brave soul who finally accosts the Apostle, Lord El-Melloi the II. Haven't really talked to him before although Kischur mentioned him as being a pragmatic type of guy, as well as probably the only non-dickish Lord of the Clocktower.

"Greetings to you too, Lord El-Melloi the II! And is it not obvious? I am decorating these shabby halls in anticipation of the coming festivities!"

The sly wink he sends me and Aoko's way is our cue to step in and...well, make things sound apocalyptic? He was shy on details.

"Coming festivities?"

El-Melloi's tone clearly has an edge of wariness to it as I jump in with, "Yeah, you know...the Kaleidoscope kind."

The Lord turns to me with widened eyes, Aoko adding, "I'm just here for the show~! Seeing it in slow motion is going to be _awesome."_

El-Melloi pales before hurrying on his way, everybody else that was in earshot copying his actions...Kischur not helping things in the slightest by beginning to hum the _Coventry Carol._

Hmm...I wonder what sort of surprise Kischur has up his sleeve. He seems more enthusiastic about this than usual.

* * *

"And the basis for proper invocation does _not_ rely merely on intention, remember this! Some less than astute practitioners of the Spirtual Arts may imply that all that matters is a properly constructed ritual and your will. This a blatant falsehood! You must have...both..."

Bram Nuada-Re Sophia-Re slowly halts his lecture as all eyes only occasionally pay attention to his written notes at the head of the classroom, most of the attending student's focus being placed on me, Aoko and Kischur as we sit off to the side, Kischur idly flipping through a copy of _A Christmas Carol._

The crimson-haired man obviously chews over whether it's a good idea to kick up a fuss...and predictably ends up asking, "Wizard Marshall, Blue...may I ask _why_ you are attending my lecture? As flattering a prospect as it may be, I don't believe you are in my novice course out of some desire to _learn_."

The old Apostle just looks up as if surprised at being asked such a question, flippantly replying, "Oh, don't mind me, young man. I just needed a quick refresher on some of the basics of evocation for an experiment I'm attempting in a few hours. Your lecture was quite comprehensive, by the way. Although I would perhaps spend a little less time decrying the wrong method and instead covering the _right_ method."

The Magus obviously chews over his next words carefully, deciding how much he wants to know...as well as whether he _wants_ to know.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

"And may I inquire _why_ you wished to be reminded of such beginner concepts?"

"Certainly!"

Kischur holds aloft his book and explains, "You see, I wished to incarnate the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, hence why I requested Miss Aozaki's help. I just needed a little refresher to get the old brain working once again, make sure the neurons are firing right, you know? But now I'm certain I can pull it off! Look forward to the results in a few hours~!"

With that he gathers his things and leaves, me and Aoko following close behind.

As the lecture hall doors swing shut behind us, I can hear panicked voices begin to call for order.

* * *

The nexus of communication and information dissemination for the Enforcers is known by a great number of names. 'The Trophy Room', 'The Abattoir'...a whole variety of titles. It both houses and is frequented by some of the more dangerous individuals amongst the Association, the ones who take their Magecraft and apply it in a more... _direct_ manner.

And currently, all present fourteen Enforcers are staring at our little trio like we're some three-headed Dragon.

Without saying a word Kischur quietly whistles to himself and starts pinning geass contracts to the popularly known 'Bounty Board', a wall with various contracts and bindings on it that assure a taken job is both honored and upheld.

...All of the Apostle's requests read something along the lines of, 'at midnight tonight, subdue and capture this creature', or 'I need the horns of this Phantasmal Beast, please provide it'.

And what a variety it is. Jack Frost, Reindeer, Elves, Krampus, the Abominable Snowman...seventeen individual requests, all stated to begin tonight within an hour of each other.

You know, as familiar I am with Kischur's talents, pulling off the variety of things he's been hinting at all day seems like a pretty tall order. Having practically every major department of the Clock Tower scared and waiting for the shoe to drop is going to be rather...tough…

…

Oh...oh that's _devious._

Judging by the sudden smirk on Aoko's face she figured it out just as soon as I did.

* * *

"Well a _pleasant_ afternoon to you, Barthomeloi!"

Kischur strides right past the Vice Director's entryway like he's always been there and plops into a nearby chair, Aoko and myself following in his footsteps as we take up position in the corner of the office.

Not that the Queen of the Clocktower makes any outward acknowledgment of our intrusion, other than her quill pen ceasing in it's scratching and stony face freezing in place.

"Ahh...nothing like a hard days work. Well, you two? Think everybody is ready for this?"

I kick back my legs up on the desk and idly reply, _"Hell_ no. I mean, considering how well people handled things last year I think we're looking at an unmitigated disaster within the Association. Bets on how long they'll last?"

Aoko pleasantly hums to herself before considering, "Want me to fast forward and find out? We can place bets on _that_. What do you say, Lady Barthomeloi? Care to put down some cash?"

With all the grace and threat of a gun emplacement Lorelei turns to face us, voice calm and threatening an imminent volcanic eruption.

"What. Have you three. _Done?"_

We all share cheshire grins.

" _Nothing, Vice Director."_

As if on cue Forte, one of the Enforcers I have a fair bit of respect for, bursts into the room, frantically announcing, "Vice Director, we have a problem! The Wizard Marshall, Blue and Horatius are up to something! They've decorated most of the interior of the Clock Tower, they put up requests for the Enforcers to destroy dozens of Phantasmal Beasts within the confines of the building and disrupted several lecture halls! Most worrying, the Wizard Marshall placed almost a hundred Christmas Elves around the halls of the...institution..."

Her eyes roll around to focus on where we're sitting, spine stiffening in shock.

"Hi."

Silence falls at my spoken word, Lorelei very deliberately standing, calmly walking over to an unadorned desk in the opposite corner of the room-

-and pulls on a rather infamous gauntlet, eyes promising murder.

" _Start. Talking."_

We all three share a glance...and with a shimmering haze and scattering of chaotic light Kischur opens up a portal, the three of us leaping through it without a backwards glance.

Mission accomplished.

* * *

"I gotta say, Kischur...you really outdid yourself on this one."

"I know, right? This is, without a doubt, the best Christmas present ever! Even if I did give it to myself, granted."

Aoko, Kischur and myself all kick back in our chairs and stare up at the several projected images displayed from one of the Apostle's inventions, admiring the chaos spreading among the Clock Tower with shots of brandy close at hand, safely secluded in the bowels of the Vampire's workshop.

The mineralogy department is frantically examining every single one of the 96 Elves Kischur randomly placed throughout the institution, searching for any hints of jewel fragments or other mediums through which the Marshall could channel Magecraft.

The Zoology, Anthropology branches and Enforcers are combing the halls of the Clock Tower in teams, worryingly checking their watches and other timekeeping devices, no doubt wondering what the delay on the appearance of the Beasts Kischur wanted subdued is about.

Spiritual Evocation and Spiritual Body Magi worryingly pore over copies of _A Christmas Carol_ , openly debating-and sometime outright arguing-the possibility and consequences of summoning hitherto unknown or unassumed spirits.

Meanwhile the Archaeology and Curse branch is hard at work examining every square millimeter of the wreaths and mistletoe that was hung over the entryway to the Clock Tower, checking in particular for Magecraft or rituals that would promote... _amorous_ feelings, regardless of who is nearby.

All while Barthomeloi stalks from branch to branch, clearly fed up and done with Kischur's bullshit for the umpteenth time.

...So much stress, so much nervous anticipation…

Imagine the looks on their faces once they realize _nothing is going to happen_.

And that's the true beauty of this prank.

Centuries upon centuries of building a reputation as a meddler and joker, who never passes up an opportunity to cause mayhem...and for this first time in forever, after promising nothing but unrestrained chaos...he decides not to follow through.

Grinning to ourselves as a particularly harried member of the SE department screams and slams her head into a desk out of pure frustration Aoko comments, "You know, it's always nice to see these stuffy grumps brought down a level or three. They could use a good humbling every now and again."

We toast to that and down our respective shots, chuckling at the chaos spreading like an unstoppable virus.

…

And I'm surprised at the sudden pang of melancholy that hits me as I smile and laugh, of the rush of nostalgia and longing.

Possessed by the warmth of alcohol and desperation I quietly whisper,

" **Castles crumble, Empires Fall. Villages Wither, Nations Bicker. Travel the World and Drown it All...Death Comes for All."**

Irappu's presence expands in my mind, suffusing me with it's power...and I cast my mind out along a familiar path, bypassing realms and pocket dimensions in search of what once was paradise-

-and just like the past few centuries, we're rebuffed by an impenetrable barrier of incalculable power, every plea and shout for her to just _listen,_ to just give us another _chance_ falling on deaf ears.

Frustration and mild inebriation builds and just as I'm about to attempt to uselessly batter down the walls keeping me out-

-a hand clasps my shoulder and startles me out of my trance.

I blink away Irappu's power and meet Kischur's grim gaze, his tone gruff.

"Don't keep going down that road, Horatius. It's done and over, move on."

I scowl before downing another shot of booze.

"Yeah, if only it was that easy."

Aoko and Kischur predictably don't comment on that...but the crimson-haired sorceress nonetheless pours me a drink while Kischur pops open another bottle, a resigned sigh escaping me.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"What are friends for? Oh, it looks like the Archaeology guys are starting to argue with Curse people!"

We all turn to watch the ensuring dispute between researchers...and a distant wave of concern emanates from Altera and Scáthach as my sudden mood swing no doubt reaches them through our empathetic link.

...Way to go, Horatius.

I quickly send back a wave of what could best be described as an 'everything is good, no worries' emotional burst that reassures them as I fall back in my seat with a tired sigh.

...No reason for melancholy when all around me is good cheer, good friends and good drink.

…

Alongside no shortage of panicking, arrogant nobles.

"Bets until Lorelei starts kicking down that door, demanding to know what the Hell we did?"

Aoko and Kischur grin.

"Hah! We don't take sucker bets."

* * *

 **Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays to all, here's a little gift to occupy a few minutes of your time during what I hope is a lovely day for all!**

 **And yes, something something Tsukihime and Fate are different universes something something, I know :D**


	10. The God of the Dead

Chapter 9: The God of the Dead

 _Horatius_

 _"So what, if you don't mind me asking, is keeping us from simply rewinding time to a point when ORT first landed, me and Kischur wait with Irappu and a load of Jeweled Sword meanness before subsequently blasting it to smithereens, resistance to the idea of 'death' or not? Inbetween True Magic and an equal conceptual power of Gaia vs Mercury we could manage that, ideally before its sense of home décor spreads out over a few dozen kilometers."_

 _Aoko reclines in her chair, calmly sipping a beer and lazily chucking a stick into the campfire we have blazing._

" _That's a great idea. Except it's terrible and won't work. I can't just snap my fingers, think of a certain place and 'boom', shifted time. It has to be localized around me and that means first tracking down ORT where it's resting in crystal Hell over there,_ then _keeping it occupied so that I have enough of a window to exchange its time. And bear in mind, I've never tried_ specifically _rewinding a certain individuals place in the timeline, only exchanging it or affecting my own spot by a few seconds. Heck, it's an open question whether I_ can _mess with Mercury like that. Could be immune, for all I know."_

 _She downs the rest of her drink and crushes the can, idly remarking, "So, yeah. Not a good idea. Why don't you just summon up Irappu and smash everything inside its territory? Seems like a good idea, nice and easy."_

 _I roll my eyes, wrapping the corn cobs in foil and setting them to cook over the fire alongside pork tenderloin-Altera hungrily watching my movements-before replying, "Have you ever tried to crush an ant crawling on your arm with_ only _your bicep muscles? Irappu and I aren't a precision tool, especially not when you consider the level of power it would take to down an Aristotles. I try to wipe it out, things as they are now and you can kiss the Selva Zoque and about two-thirds of Brazil goodbye. And I don't think the world would be able to handle the sudden coffee crisis that would result."_

 _Aoko merely grunts in annoyance, the two of us turning to Kischur as he idly flips through a collection of journals and tomes, the sum collection of mankind's knowledge on ORT._

" _What about you, Second? Can't you just make one big portal to a dead world that we can shove the damn thing through?"_

" _Not that easy. I don't go around advertising this but the Second Magic has an exponential cost when it comes to the_ size _of the portal you're opening, not the act of viewing parallel universes itself. Trying to make something big enough to fit E.T. over there is beyond my abilities, even assuming it was kind enough to let us do so. That's no good either."_

 _Plenty of disgruntlement to go around today, then. Huffing a disappointed sigh I rotate the meat and recap, "So we can't mess with its time, we can't shove it through a portal and we can't just blow it up. And as much as I would prefer not to admit this we don't_ really _know if Irappu carries enough of a conceptual tinge to it to take down Mercury. I could rip the planet in two and if doesn't recognize enough of Gaia's influence over its own to actually accept being 'dead' then I just committed planetary genocide for no reason."_

 _Aoko kicks up her feet, grumbling as she gazes out over the twisted and hypnotically unsettling crystal spires that comprise ORT's territory._

" _So I guess we're down to controlled testing then? See what might stick and what doesn't?"_

" _Afraid so. At least as 'controlled' as we can be when dealing with a hyper murder alien."_

 _The three of us and Altera had finally decided to bite the bullet and accept the fact that ORT was going to have to be dealt with sooner or later, preferably sooner. The Second Magic, as infinite and varied as it is, meant that we couldn't just rely on there being a happy ending at the end of the rainbow with the Ultimate Ones taking care of themselves. For all we know we could be in the one iteration where the world is wiped out without a trace...not to mention if we could devise a way to safely-or at least feasibly-destroy Ultimate Ones Kischur could spread that knowledge to other variations of the world._

 _Hence, our small camp just a few kilometers away from the edge of Mercury's doorstep._

" _Ah dammit...forgot my reagents back at the house."_

 _Kischur's grumbled tone causes Aoko and I to share a knowing glance._

" _Your ability to reach across space and time has made you lazy in remembering shit, Marshall."_

 _Pretending not to hear us the old Vampire just creates a portal, reaches into it-_

 _-and my head snaps around, some distant instinct of Irappu warning me of a shift in Gaia's attentions, of a foreign body abruptly moving with great speed...directly towards us._

" _IT'S MOVING, WATCH OUT-"_

 _In the blink of an eye the monster from the stars is in visual sight, speed lowered from near instantaneous in its own territory to merely blistering outside of it, trees and grasses scythed down by flailing limbs and crushing momentum._

 _ORT is...not a creature that's easy on the eyes. While the ovoid shape reminiscent of a UFO on its back is recognizable, maybe even comical, the rest is anything but._

 _Crystalline carapace, shifting flesh and a mismatch of limbs and appendages that confuse the brain's attempt to categorize and label it as something vaguely recognizable._

 _And maybe half a second away from eviscerating us where we stand. Altera is the only one somewhat prepared, Photon Ray blazing and at a ready guard...but she's focused on protecting me, while Aoko is still attempting to rise from her chair and Kischur has his back turned, an awkward position even for the Wizard Marshall to fight from...at least against an opponent on the level of Mercury._

 _So I do the only thing that I can. Stall._

 _Every circuit on my body flares white-hot as I dump mana through them, casting a basic use of Gradation Air from memory directly into the path of the Aristotles._

 _A gargantuan, plain slab of iron equal in height to the forty meter tall monstrosity is torn apart with razor accuracy and contemptuous ease-_

 _-but the tenth of a second it buys is just enough._

" _BULLETS, DEPLOY!"_

" _REFRACT, ANNIHILATE!"_

 _Both Magicians are on their feet, respective Magecrafts flaring to life as Altera mightily swings at ORT's approaching assault, the convergence of force sending me flying as I hastily reinforce my body, skidding to a halt...and fleeing further._

 _As much as it rankles to admit, I have no place in this battle other than ensuring Altera can fight at peak performance._

 _Skidding to a halt a fair distance away I drop into a meditative pose, flaring my mana and allowing the King of Combat to draw as much as she needs, following the battle from afar._

 _Just a few seconds in and I can already tell it's not going well._

 _Kischur and Aoko took up positions behind Altera, bombarding the alien with blasts from the Jewel Sword and a hail of condensed energy from spiraling formula along the length of the redhead's limbs, her magic circuit's keening wail audible even from this distance._

 _But the pace of the battle is ferocious and swift, neither of them granted so much as a second to gather power for a more devastating assault...and Altera has her hands full._

 _The engravings along her tan skin blaze with light, a visible sign that she's having to constantly use the strengthening it provides to simply keep ORT at bay, its limbs and scythes slashing, chopping, whirling and stabbing from countless angles and orifices with enough force to shear metal._

 _That would be bad enough but the Type_ also _laid down roots, crystalline landscape racing outwards from its form and nearly skewering the trio as raised pillars of jagged material jut from the ground, forcing my comrades to constantly relocate._

 _And then_ more _spires shoot from the spires, hemming them in and forcing the bombardment to cease for brief periods of time as the Magicians blow escape routes in the constricting net._

 _Dammit all we weren't_ supposed _to end up fighting this creature, not without proper preparations! It must have reacted to Kischur's usage of True Magic and pounced on that!_

 _Snarling as the battle quickly starts to head in my direction a variety of plans start flitting through my brain-_

"Horatius! Once we pass you give this to Attila and then get clear! Survey is cancelled until further notice!"

"What the Hell are you-"

 _A Kaleidoscope portal deposits a strange wafer of blue, crystalline structure into my palm before snapping shut, my connection with Irappu informing me that there's more to this object than meets the standard eye._

…

 _Nothing for it, here we go._

 _The battle continues unabated, Mercury steadily pushing them back until they're no more than a few meters away from my position._

" _Altera!"_

 _The Hunnic King reaches out as I flick the wafer into her outstretched hand, the other wielding her sword continuing to knock aside Mercury's blows-_

 _-and through our empathetic link I receive a flood of worry and anxiety from the woman before it's quickly replaced by resolve, a rare grunt of exertion leaving her as a herculean swing of the Photon Ray forces back ORT with a wave of kinetic force, uprooting trees with wild abandon._

"Master, please retreat. I will hold back the beast."

"Forget that, why did you seem so apprehensive about-"

 _A hand suddenly yanks me backward by my shirt, Kischur yelling, "Run, you fool!"_

" _What the fuck did you give her, she was-"_

 _An explosion of white light casts everything into sharp shadows, ORT unleashing a scream that sounds of wind echoing through a glass maze as_ something _echoes through the link Altera and I share. Something..._ Alien.

" _Kischur? What did you make me give her?!"_

 _The Apostle's face is grim as he replies, "Something I stole from the Moon Cell."_

* * *

Awareness floods my brain along with a light rush of wind, a tired sigh leaving my lungs.

Not the most pleasant of memories, even if everything ended up alright in the end, if not the same as it started. Mercury back in its home after receiving a thrashing and retreating, a few more observations available for the records...and an interesting ability that, fates willing, I'll never have to make Altera use again.

And speaking of which…

"You had a dream, Master?"

My eyebrow raises without even cracking an eyelid.

"...Horatius."

Now smiling I ask, "If my head is resting on your lap, that means Lilith isn't there, is she?"

"No, she is not."

"Hmph. About time."

Now bothering to reintroduce sight into the world I blink a few times...and find Altera calmly staring down at me from where she was lightly running fingers through my hair, the mini-Ouroboros clinging to her shoulders in an improvised piggyback.

…

Gods... _dammit._

Why does that munchkin get free reign to be coddled by Altera when I'm _still_ trying to maintain a first name basis?!

"You have been having dreams of the past more and more frequently."

Putting aside my petty jealousy I sigh, agreeing with the snow-haired woman.

"I think they're feeding off of the other, each one bringing the next to the forefront of my mind and then resulting in a subsequent vision."

Soft skin that could bend steel lightly massages my scalp, Altera demurely suggesting, "Perhaps it is Irappu telling you something, Horatius? It does have a connection to the world and your memories."

A wince I have no control over causes my face to twitch, the memory of what it had required Altera to do in order to fend off ORT still fresh in my mind.

"If it _is_ warning me of an imminent disaster, then I hope it's wrong or blowing things out of proportion."

Conversation dies as I simply relax on the Heroic Spirit's lap, listening to the low hum of the Vimana steadily making its way across the skies of the Underworld.

Ignoring my Origen's call is much easier if I can't see all the things I'm missing.

"...was only that simple, Witch of Dun Scaith. The art of teaching and imparting knowledge is a hazardous and hallowed task, thus it should only be performed with the most correct and effective means, enabled by those of proper skill and standing. A sub par instructor can cause more damage to a generation than any army could hope to."

"And _I_ maintain that your methods are rigid and untenable. You insist that all conform to a certain pattern when that is simply not how people operate."

Curiosity piqued I turn to where Scáthach and Gilgamesh are locked in yet another heated debate, the Hero Queen seated in her pilot's throne-still locked to her younger body-while the taller woman lazes against the side of said throne, both facing away from the other.

"Your ideal of teaching is unrealistic, Lord of the Dead. While it is a legitimate shame to sacrifice the inspiration and whims of artists or hopefuls the world over, the gains of having a kingdom of those taught in the most perfect, efficient way outweighs the costs of their lost fancy. Or would you have the betterment of the kingdom sacrificed to satiate the desires of the few?"

Scáthach scoffs, retorting, "A teachers duty is to hone their pupil's individual and _specific_ talent. A homogeneous sludge of efficiency quickly stifles creativity and initiative, till you quickly found yourself not so efficient. Experience and breadth of knowledge such as yours and mine is best made use of, rather than singling out a lone way to maximize the people's productivity until they would be no better off as mindless Homunculi. As our Gladiator likes to quote, 'judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree and it will forever think itself stupid'."

Gilgamesh scoffs just as heartily, replying, "Your way of thinking is optimistic and idealistic, requiring massive amounts of effort and time invested into each prospective pupil."

"Ahh...but my methods _work,_ Queen of Heroes. My legend is that of a teacher and instructor of incredible warriors, magicians and adventurers. It is why I was immortalized on the Throne of Heroes. You, on the other hand? A Hero, yes...but one reflected upon as a benevolent Tyrant, with great power and charisma but precious little in the way of scholarly wisdom. That there is answer enough, wouldn't you say?"

The grinding of teeth is audible and I fully expect a fight to break out...except Gilgamesh merely huffs, idly stating, "Very well, I concede the point. Hmm...we have debated the merits of our styles of instruction, let us speak next of our legends, shall we? Of the merit they each held."

I don't need to look to know Scáthach is wincing slightly at the mention of her 'legend', of the time spent in the Land of Shadows and her mindset during those countless years.

...She's a big girl, she can handle it.

"I'd like to speak with you about something, Horatius. And then ask you for a favor."

My head rotates until it stares upwards at Vali Lucifer, the intense young man staring at me unblinkingly with a sharp rigidity to his spine.

"Certainly, what do you need?"

He matches my motion to sit crosslegged, setting hands on his knees and appearing awfully serious.

Not entirely sure if this young man ever really smiles…

"Were you a great fighter in your earlier years? I don't believe those three would follow you otherwise if you were not."

I can't help but smile at that analysis. It's not _entirely_ accurate to say they 'follow' me and even less so to assume it's because I'm a 'great fighter'.

"Not a wrong statement exactly, but what's your angle on this, if you don't mind me asking?"

The silver-haired male briefly contemplates about his next words before finding his center, boldly asking, "Could you fight against me? A real battle."

I don't outwardly react.

"Is this about your grandfather? About what Tobio was saying?"

His eyebrow twitches minutely.

"...You are... _correct._ My Sacred Gear will be useless against him and my natural reserves of power are inferior to his. It will have to come down to a fistfight and you seem like the obvious professional in that regard."

I give him an idle gaze.

"Have you considered outside help during this battle? Tobio seems eager to help you as an old friend. Many hands make light work."

The young man's air turns cold.

"It's _personal."_

Silence falls between us...and I eventually nod.

"Ok. Let's go a few rounds."

The young man eagerly grins and springs to his feet, a counterpoint to my more languid pace as Altera once more holds Lilith in her arms, standing off to the side with a neutral expression as she observes, Tobio and Dulio also walking over with curios gazes.

Heck, even Scáthach and Gilgamesh pause in their debate to watch, the landscape still flashing by as the Vimana continues unobstructed.

We both stand apart, Vali raising his fists in a classic boxing stance as I lazily wait with my hands at my side, a light application of Reinforcement enhancing my eyes, muscles and reflexes.

Wind passes by, howls distant and removed by the Vimana's flight-

-and the male leaps at me in a textbook charge, fist cocked next to his head and no doubt planning on ramming it into my nose.

Kid is _fast._ Even with Reinforcement he's just shy of a speedy blur.

Not that it helps.

Gradation Air manifests a flat plate of metal between us, a push kick impacting dead center on the mass and stopping Vali dead, his forward momentum and headlong pace leaving him unable to avoid it.

The rest is history as I continue my kick, toppling over the young man and trapping him beneath the impromptu barrier.

"First round to me."

His eyes narrow as I remove my foot.

"I thought we were fighting hand-to-hand."

"We are. All I did was use some simple magecraft that manifests mundane metals and objects. But alright, I won't do that anymore, fair?"

"...Fair."

This time as we separate he adopts a karate stance, feet spread and hands making tentative passes at me as he slowly closes the distance-

-and launches a blisteringly fast roundhouse kick that would have knocked me silly if my hand didn't lash out, grabbing his leg and pushing _hard_ on the pressure point above his knee, killer force suddenly lost as he spasms briefly, balance gone...and my heel lightly brushes his groin, Vali's eyes widening as he realizes I could have disabled him right then and there with a sharp kick to the balls.

…

I think I see what his problem is.

This time he rips his leg out of my grasp, frustration obvious in his body language as we part, settling into our respective balances-

-and this time he's lightning in a bottle, launching violent blow after violent blow at me as I dart and dance backwards, barely keeping ahead of his assault. Wait for it...aaaaand there.

I abruptly cease my evasions, taking a punch to the gut that knocks the air out of my lungs-kid packs a _wallop_ -but it also allows my hand to clench into a handspear, dart forward...and stop just shy of Vali's left eye, the Devil blinking as he realizes what I was about to do.

"Supernatural or not, having your eye dangling out of its socket is disabling in a rather detrimental way."

We separate and the young man's jaw works furiously as I patiently wait, certain that at any moment he'll ask-

"How? How did you so cleanly beat me?"

-and there it is.

Taking a seat and motioning for him to do the same I explain, "The obvious answer is experience. For all of your natural talent and proclivity for fighting, and you _do_ have that...it's not really a fair comparison between us. I'm thousands of years old, spent a fair number of those learning and forgetting all manner of martial skills as well as being raised in an environment where killing was my currency, how I would earn the right to _live."_

My finger draws a line towards his chest.

"My guess is you were taught how to _fight,_ not how to _win_. Karate, Boxing...impressive and important skills, but neither is a born killing art. They are as much disciplines and expressions of form as they are tools of murder. And even the Krav Maga or whatever variant it was during the third match-as direct and brutal a technique it is-is not a _true_ murderer's tool."

Aforementioned finger then traces a path from groin to eye.

"If you want to topple a titan much stronger than you...you need to know how to play the game. How to cheat and seize the slightest crippling advantage that will bring you the victory. I spent a great many years of that life facing creatures roughly of humanoid shape and size equal to mine that were far stronger, faster and more durable. A popped eye, crushed testicle, aggravated pressure point...I've had a long time to hone my craft. It would be a tall order for you to learn such a mindset in such a short period of time...I'm assuming days, at the most."

A quick glance at Scáthach has her nodding in agreement, taking over the conversation with, "If you want to learn, as you say you do...we would have to have a rather abbreviated and swift set of lessons, none of which would be interesting or exciting."

Vali's brow furrows, his tone frustrated yet curious as he asks, "What do you mean by that?"

"If we were to instruct you in the ways of Horatius' style, we would have little choice but to have you repetitively repeat and study the myriad of ways to swiftly cripple an individual and nothing else, hoping that the lessons stick in time for your final showdown. It is not a particularly glamorous path, given the small time frame."

Rather than be let down the young man seems to come to life at the offer, dismissively replying, "That's of little consequence, if it affords me a chance to kill my dearest grandfather."

A glance is shared between us as I shrug, suggesting, "In that case we might as well start now, no sense in waiting. First we'll-"

A spike of...not _quite_ anxiety but definitely caution and concern emanate from Gilgamesh, the youthful woman narrowing crimson eyes and suspiciously gazing around the skies.

"Something wrong?"

"...Perhaps. It is hard to say for certain, it's more along the lines of a long forgotten...feeling..."

If something has the Queen of Heroes treading cautiously then I'm calling red alert.

But before I do a sound as if kilometers of carpet being torn in two splits the sky, a purple and black void opening up directly in front of the speeding Vimana as, with absolutely no fanfare of ceremony, _swarms_ of oversized skeletal hands streak out of it, headed directly for our ride.

"DIVE, NOW!"

I needn't have bothered yelling, Gilgamesh leaping to the pilot's throne and sending the golden airship into a brutal maneuver that would have snapped my spine in two if it weren't for the enchantments that keep us steady on this thing, the other passengers already launching a variety of elemental spells, runecraft and just plain mana bolts at the grasping hands, blowing them apart in a spray of bony chunks.

If only there weren't about a hundred other portals and hands after that one, blanketing the sky and completely boxing us in.

What the fuck is-

I don't even have time to complete my thought as the ship is violently yanked to the side, coming to a near dead stop as the sheer volume of skeletal appendages overwhelmed the impromptu defense we formed, dragging our group into the void.

…

Never a dull moment with this shit…

* * *

Scáthach

I had forgotten that dealing with the Gods of the world can be quite the _massive_ headache. Free reign within their own domains to alter things as they see fit, up to and including spacial warping of reality and alteration of local physics and phenomena.

Hence, why the only member of our previous party still within sight is none other than the Queen of Heroes herself.

"Oh of _course_ I end up transported alongside you. Who else would it have possibly been? Certainly not someone I share the barest of a rapport with."

"Save your petulant complaints, Queen of Heroes. We have more important matters to attend to, such as tracking down the remainder of our comrades."

Quietly grumbling under her breath the reduced Queen of Uruk nonetheless does as I suggest, glancing around the landscape we find ourselves in with a displeased eye.

"A realm of the dead. And here I had hoped to never set foot inside such a dismal and unpleasant locale if at all possible."

A quiet snort of agreement escapes me.

"On that, dear Gilgamesh, we can agree. Do you recognize any of the designs or markings of this land at all? My guess is that it is of Greek origin, judging by the make of those buildings."

The Queen of Uruk follows my pointed finger to a collection of arched and columned houses or homes, constructed of white marble or stone and brazenly inscribed with murals or depictions of various deities...mostly one that appears more skeleton than man or woman.

A click of irritation leaves the Hero Queen as she sourly states, "It seems we have stumbled upon the realm of Hades, unless my knowledge of the world's mythological figures has abruptly become useless. And what is this _dismal_ state of affairs?! It's an affront to the eyes of the Queen, to somewhat understate matters!"

Affront practically leaking from her tone in visible waves of displeasure Gilgamesh broadly gestures to the purple atmosphere, roiling clouds of dead mist and smoke, lifeless and barren ground with only the odd bit of aforementioned architecture to break up the monotony.

True, it does little to endear itself to the eye...but I'm far more displeased to find myself back in a land of the dead and damned than I am at its lack of grandeur and wonder.

I've spent a lifetime too many in locales such as this.

"Save your breath for the oncoming battle...the God's servants approach."

Huffing irritably the Queen of Heroes nonetheless acquiesces to my advice, setting aside her annoyance in favor of staring down the deluge of skeletal figures that swarm our location, cloaks and scythes whirling like a desert storm.

"How droll and insulting in equal measure. Do we not even rate this buffoon's attention?"

"I do not believe we were ever his target...the God of the Dead is after Horatius."

"What would he want with the Gladiator? And more pertinently why are you so certain of that?"

My tone is grim.

"Because I can no longer sense him or Altera, merely receive his energy."

Gilgamesh frowns and no doubt casts outwards with her senses-

-and narrows her crimson orbs in vexation.

"...So it would seem. Come, let us tear our way to them."

The _Gate of Babylon_ flares to life, hundreds of golden portals lighting the sky with a brilliant glow, the Reapers overhead readying their weapons for a fight-

-and my hand briefly squeezes the teenaged Queen's shoulder.

"Restrain yourself somewhat, Queen of Heroes. We know not what strain or circumstances Horatius may be facing, draining him needlessly would be unwise."

For a moment I worry that Gilgamesh will once again disregard such a suggestion and employ her powers to their full ability...and I'm thankfully proven wrong as she growls in more than a fair share of irritation, many of the gates closing down while the remainder replace their Mystic Codes and Noble Phantasms with more mundane weaponry.

"Always the demanding one, aren't you? Were you a subject of mine I would have had you exiled from my kingdom in the blink of an eye, save myself the exacerbation of dealing with your constant reminders and barbs."

Unable to hold back a playful smirk I briefly wrap my arms around her shoulders, teasingly stating, "Such lies, dear Gilgamesh. You would miss my accompaniment just as I would miss yours~!"

"Save your jests, Witch. Now it is my turn to remind you of the gravity of this situation."

Crimson spears manifest in my waiting palms, guarding the Queen of Hero's younger form as my eyes narrow at the circling Reapers.

"Oh I am _quite_ capable of doing two things at once, Gilgamesh."

* * *

Tobio

Dammit.

"Of all the stupid and selfish actions Hades could have made...it had to be _this._ Doesn't he _know_ what's at stake?! And I thought the Crimson Satan along with Azazel-sama made it clear to him the consequences of his actions!"

Dulio-san thoughtfully hums from where he landed alongside me, Vali-kun jogging up to us with Lilith-san hanging onto his back.

"I imagine he knows very well the consequences of his machinations...but simply doesn't care, or believes retribution will pass him by. A foolish belief, but Hades has never been one for... _logical_ deduction and cost-analysis. But the fact remains, we will have to quickly find and come to the aid of Horatius and his fellows."

I can't help but quirk an eyebrow.

"Help _them?_ They strike me as the types that can handle themselves."

Dulio-san shakes his head, replying, "I said Hades was foolish, not stupid. He clearly had the ability to separate us at will, he will have made assurances that there is no immediate threat to his person."

My scowl no doubt matches Vali-kun's.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Those four are my ticket to finally killing my grandfather and, quite frankly, the idea of learning how to properly strangle him to death carries a great deal of appeal."

I roll my eyes at Vali-kun's typical and predictable response, Jin-kun suddenly pawing at my leg with a low whine.

"In that case, gentlemen...it seems we have a bit of a road to plow."

Dulio-kun simply nods as his wings sprout, Vali-kun obviously grinning as _Divine Dividing_ snaps to life along his back, even Lilith-san jumping down before morphing herself into an enormous ebony snake, 'quietly' hissing, **"We should hurry...Ophis Onee-sama will be mad if the one like her dies...and we won't get cookies. And Altera Onee-sama will disappear and she is nice..."**

Shaking my head at the very simple desires of those two Jin-kun manifests in my hand as a plain midnight longsword, tone resigned as we turn to face the distant horde of what looks to be a few hundred Reapers...maybe as many as a thousand.

"I don't suppose they would surrender if we asked them, would they?"

 _A_ cold chuckle from Vali-kun is answer enough to Dulio-san's question, a sigh escaping my lips as with a wave of Jin-kun's alternate form the sky is _filled_ with midnight blades.

"Let's make this quick."

* * *

Horatius

…

And here I thought I'd managed to leave interacting with the Gods behind me.

 **[So pleasant of you to drop in, honored guest. I have been desiring to meet with you for the _longest_ time.]**

A tattered and midnight cloak, standing in sharp contrast to armor, robes and head ornaments in a similar fashion and coloration to a Priest delivering the sermon on the mount.

...A bit of an odd match, considering the body beneath such vestments is basically a skeleton with glowing eye sockets. If it wasn't for the absolutely stifling presence it exudes I'd say it was a child's overeager attempt at dressing up a Halloween decoration.

"Hades, I presume? The others mentioned you in passing. And for an honored guest this level of hospitality seems rather excessive."

Altera and I are standing side-by-side before a skeletal and ragged throne beneath a shifting sky, gargantuan columns of Greek architecture towering into the heavens...as dozens of what I'm assuming are Grim Reapers hold scythes to our bodies at point blank.

What the Hell happened to manners?

 **[For guests such as yourself a greeting as comprehensive as this is only fair.]**

Oh wonderful, a comedian...and yes, that's having something of a double standard.

"You know, the last time me and a God had any sort of meaningful interaction it ended poorly. For the both of us. Believe it or not I'd actually be quite happy if this evens out the track record."

And apparently that's the extent of Hades' appreciation for this little charade, scoffing as he waves an arm in a general, unspecific motion.

 **[Do you think this will end other than poorly? For you? You ruined a plan many years in the making, boy.]**

...When was the last time someone referred to me as _boy?_

Setting that aside I curiously asks, "Plans? If you're referring to our killing of the Jabberwocky then I have no intent of apologizing. Let alone take the blame for its demise. From a simple standpoint of trope knowledge the mostly humanoid beings of many different races fighting against the towering, grotesque monster is almost certainly a done and clear conclusion of who's in the right."

The God's tone wouldn't lose out to acid in its causticness.

 **[Well aren't you just the clever one with a silver tongue? Would it be so wise and flippant if it was cut out?]**

" _I think it's clear where this is headed. Altera, kindly destroy him."_

Her words quickly revert to their mechanical state of being.

" _As you wish, Master."_

A brief flash of light signals the activation of the Photon Ray, the Reapers surrounding her flinching away from its brilliance as the Heroic Spirit flips the blade around so that it's beacon hilt is pointing towards Hades, still seated on his throne.

" _Teardrop Photon Ray."_

The sky blazes with killing light, geometric formations of focusing spells illuminating the area-

 **[How arrogant of you, to assume that you could use your version of Ares' power to wound me.]**

-and with a voltaic crackle the Noble Phantasm sputters out and dies, a wince crossing my expression as Altera's features display the briefest hints of surprise.

That's probably the first time _anyone_ has managed to negate Altera's abilities like that...which is actually pretty bad, considering the current state of affairs.

 **[This realm is MINE. Ares has no authority here. Athena has no authority here. Even _Zeus_ has no authority here! And I can sense the roiling, primordial force that resides within your soul, boy. Attempt to call on it and I _will_ strike you dead.]**

I'm honestly tempted to ask if he'll make me more dead than he was already planning to but reign in my flippant response. There's a time and a place for sass...and right now I need to stall. I can't sense the location of either Scáthach or Gilgamesh, nor of Tobio or the others but I imagine they're looking quite frantically for us.

"You seem to be going through an awful lot of effort just to get me standing here before you. Sure, the meetings were both light and brief but during my talk with the 'Three Factions' and their representatives you came up during the conversation with less than positive connotations. Basically you don't like many people and not many people like you. Seems rather strange that you would single _me_ out."

Lethal intent glimmers in those empty sockets.

 **[My allies and I were close to victory. And we were _powerful._ Our plans had begun, starting with the destruction of vast swathes of the Underworld using the creatures born of _Annihilation Maker._ And you put an end to it with no prior warning whatsoever. Furthermore, your retrieval of the Dhampire that holds the _Sephiroth Graal_ and elimination of the Ouroboros imitation has basically undone _everything_ I had desired for _centuries!]_**

I'd be lying if that doesn't give me a warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest.

 **[The Abrahamic factions of this world and their allies were meant to fall, to perish. Heaven, Valhalla, the Fields of Yalu and countless more...their souls would have then belonged to _me,_ the rightful ruler of the dead and not those pale imitations. YOU are singularly to blame for these setbacks, _boy.]_**

…

One facet of his spiel in particular grabs my attention, a mildly frozen sensation settling in my gut.

"Not that I haven't been listening or anything like that...but would you mind if I ask you to clarify a few things for me?"

 **[By all means, no reason not to honor a dead man's last request.]**

Altera narrows her eyes at the threat as I neutrally ask, "You wish to take the souls of other realms of the dead for your own, correct?"

 **[I do.]**

My eyes rove around the gathered Reapers, now once again surrounding us.

"And this is the fate of those who fall under your authority, I believe?"

 **[Indeed. The dead reside within my domain, and within such a domain my law is absolute.]**

Ah.

"Likely no chance of protesting the terms of their employment, then...or the duration of their servitude and actions committed along the way."

 **[Why would they have need of such pointless directives such as free will? I rule the dead, thus the dead are beholden to my desires. It is as simple as that.]**

"...So just to recap. You plan to destroy, murder and scatter countless individuals so that you may take the souls of those who have earned their rest for your own, doing with them what you will and effectively denying who knows how many people their presumably deserved paradise."

The God's tone could not be any more smug.

 **[You say that as if it is not my right to make such decisions.]**

"...Right? No, it is well within your rights, just as much as it is the lion's right to take the pride for his own, when the older male becomes too weak to protect them...but 'might makes right' carries with it a risk. The risk of a bigger fish eyeing what's 'yours' and deciding it would like a slice or two."

My teeth bare themselves.

"Allow me to be just as frank, Hades. Everything about this grand ambition of yours...well, suffice to say it _upsets_ me. It stinks of sociopathic desires the Gods of my world were rife with. And, rather unfortunately for you, I still live while they died. Care to guess why that is?"

 **[...You're threatening me.]**

"Don't be so droll. I'm not _threatening_ you. I'm telling you I've done the impossible many times during the course of my life. And today killing a God of the Dead will be added to that list. I'm merely _telling_ you what's about to happen."

The skeletal deity seems massively unimpressed.

 **[And just how do you plan to kill me? You are mortal, the power within you that actually poses a threat to my being is dormant and unable to aid you before my servants would have you dead where you stand. You label me as-]**

I ignore the God's tirade and instead speak to Altera with, _"I know it's cruel of me to ask you to do this, Altera...but-"_

" _It is fine, Master. I can sense how upset you are and would be happy to remove the source of that distress. And I shall be fine...Horatius."_

A smile pulls at my lips.

" _I love you, Altera."_

Her dusky cheeks take on a pink tinge even as I smirk, gazing at the Death God as he continues to ramble-

-and a forceful application of _Knip_ that leaves my body shrieking in pain places me outside the ring of Reapers, a brief moment of shock halting all movement and noise at my sudden disappearance.

All the time in the world.

Throwing myself into a spinning whirl Black Keys manifest and smash into the surrounding crowd, managing to damage them with their conceptual weight since I imagine magical skeletons probably wouldn't care about mundane weaponry.

Yet even that is merely a distraction, a flick of my fingers sending a small, crystalline wafer directly into Altera's waiting grasp as I continue my brief rampage, ignoring the pain and heat flooding my system from the rapid and sudden usage of teleportation.

 **[KILL HIM!]**

Heh, looks like I've finally and sufficiently pissed off the Death God for him to start going full evil villain and screaming 'off with his head'!

Unfortunately the feeling of vindication is somewhat lessened by the sensation of cold metal bypassing my flesh entirely and tearing away at my base soul. Thankfully Irappu carries with it a sufficient backup of soul 'stuff' and metaphysical presence that these Reapers could spend days slashing away at me with no detrimental effect...not that it makes it any less pleasant to experience.

Using one last burst of _Knip_ that has me wheezing out clouds of steam and sweating buckets I nonetheless grin, Hades' entourage squaring off against me and a motionless Altera as I gleefully state, "The soul is sacrosanct, Death God...and I'll uphold that belief no matter what or who stands against me. You're just going to be the next on a long list of people that have disagreed. Oh, and it's not going to be me who kills you."

A blaze of white light surrounds us, an outpouring of mana completely foreign to anything I've ever experienced causing me to smile.

The first time I had been terrified, believing Kischur had killed us all with one of his insane ideas brought up in the heat of the moment...I should have known better.

Altera would never do anything to hurt me, no matter what form she takes.

The glare dies down, my eyes closing in satisfaction as a large, soft hand that smells of ozone and wet stone gently raises me into the air, setting me upon a thin shoulder of the same consistency as my own hand alights upon silken, liquid hair that writhes as if if alive, caressing my arm with tender affection.

I finally open my eyes, gazing down at Hades and his slaves from a sixteen meter vantage point.

" _She_ will. After all, she _is_ rather familiar with the act of deicide."

Blue and white skin adorned with orange markings that seamlessly meshes together like a heartfelt painting, an alien veil constructed of compounds unknown to the worlds of the Sol system, wavering horns that shift their consistency to flexible tendrils at the ends as oversized hands-with prismatic cubes of crystalline structure implanted in the center-gracefully clasp themselves in front of her.

And the eyes...the eyes of blazing red and orange, set between a fiery gemstone of rainbow coloration that shines like a lighthouse on a cloudy night.

But they're still the eyes of Altera, still placid yet focused, expressive yet withdrawn.

…

Having years upon years to experiment and practice with abilities and theories most Magi can only dream of, with a Heroic Spirit unbound by restrictions or rules while a close friend can provide all manner of interesting catalysts and materials means the boundary of what is possible and what shouldn't can be expanded upon quite a bit.

A fragment of the Moon Cell, containing a very _specific_ set of data, given to the woman who was both the being contained within yet her very own person, with ambient mana all around us for the transformation to sustain itself upon?

I offer a mock bow to the silent audience.

"Hades, allow me to introduce you to your executioner, my beloved Sefar."

A twisted smile darkens my features.

"Or, considering your origins and familiarity with the titanomachy...perhaps I should introduce her as the White Titan."

* * *

 **On a scale of 1 to Velber, how 'boned' is Hades?**

 **The answer is two.**

 **I'm just glad I managed to get this out before school starts back up again, that would have slowed down what is already an insanely slow release pace XD**


	11. Chaos Follows

Chapter 10: Chaos Follows

Horatius

There's something both intimate and comforting about sitting peaceably on the shoulder of an extraterrestrial giant that loves you with all of its heart, secure in the knowledge that when in its presence you're the closest to invincible you'll ever be while still retaining mortal form.

Even the power of a God and his army of the undead is useless in the face of the White Titan's wrath, the symphony of destruction tearing apart Hades' realm a soothing melody as I lean against Sefar's neck, silken strands of alien hair softly caressing me as if alive and possessing a mind of their own.

 **[HOW?! How do you resist my power?!]**

The frenzied shout of thwarted rage is accompanied by a sound like the Earth snapping it's spine in two with a rush of ocean water as backup, my left eye lazily opening to the view of a tidal wave of skeletal hands and black miasma bearing down on us, a deluge of divine power and physical force that could erase a small city.

Sefar lazily raises its oversized hands upwards, horn-antennae matching the motion as the attack is nullified by the simple act of touching the White Titan, any trace of energy completely absorbed and repurposed by the spiritron collectors laced across the body of the Titan.

The assault fades, leaving behind a three kilometer crater of broken and melted ground, a bewildered God...and a completely untouched Sefar with accompanying Human on her shoulder, palms with embedded spiritron emitters aiming at the deity and his assembled host of thousands upon thousands of Grim Reapers.

The resulting blast of orange, purple and blue light makes Hades' attack look like a playground scuffle compared to Nagisaki, a twenty kilometer stretch of Underworld turned into eradicated wasteland of corrosive and foreign energies, Sefar's influence spreading further and further the more destruction is caused.

...The original assault by the White Titan on Earth had been a desperate thing, the deities and other magic users of the time finding-to their no doubt utter dismay-that any mystery or conceptual based attacks were merely absorbed by the invading life form, fueling its growth and power. Sure, sufficiently strong or numerous enough attacks could damage its form but that method had been akin to trying to drown a fish, the ultimate brute force method that likely wouldn't have worked in time to halt the planet's destruction.

It had only been through the usage of the sword that would become Excalibur-or _was_ Excalibur, alternate world timelines and circumstances can be tricky-that the White Titan had been halted, the energies of the holy sword unique enough in nature that Sefar couldn't efficiently absorb them, gifting Humanity with a weapon that was actually worth a damn against the invading Xeno.

...Hades clearly didn't get the memo, staggering to his feet despite the corrosive streamers of Velber cells chewing away at his from, empty sockets practically _burning_ with malevolence as yet another eradicating wave of miasma that would turn my body to dust within the span of a second forms overhead, the host that had marshaled at his side simply deleted from existence.

 **[I see the method and strategy you employ, Creature! I shall simply have to overwhelm you with the might of this realm's most powerful God of Death!]**

…

I'll give him points for persistence, but that was probably the attitude of most of the Gods that tried to take on the White Titan in their time. It didn't go so well for them.

Such a titanic amount of mana gathers that even my stunted perception of the energy is overwhelmed, the miasma coalescing and solidifying itself, compressing ever more energy and conceptual strength until it feels as thought the sky itself is nothing but warped reality, the deathly mist assuming a tangible form reminiscent of a three-headed dog, snapping and snarling with nothing save intent to kill.

 **[Regret that you drew the ire of the God of Death, Hades! AIÓNIOS THÁNATOS!]**

...A for effort, Hades.

But you lost the moment Altera assumed her progenitor's form.

The manifestation of death lunges forward, Sefar taking a single step forward to meet it, once more raising her arms to meet the assault...but this time the crystalline construct atop her forehead glows like a beacon amid a storm, three stars of purest red, blue and green shining with such intensity that they could burn out a Human's eyes with little more than an errant glance.

The White Titan meets Hades' assault and the world screams.

Ordinarily Sefar would have just accepted the attack, let it deal its damage and use the absorbed energy to recoup its losses, if not come out ahead.

That's not an option while I'm present, only possessing a mere Human body that would waste away in the blink of an eye.

But that's fine, she's not fighting and considering the long term plan of civilization erasure...merely keeping me safe.

The conflicting energies push and tear at each other, the Cerberus of pure, deathly power striving against Sefar's manifested strength of mana and civilization erasure, two opposing forces of nature striving to overwhelm the other-

"You can't fight against a being specifically made to destroy sentient life, Hades...your realm will be under new, hopefully better management now."

-and my calm, inflectionless tone coincides with the rainbow of energy emanating from my partner overpowering the malicious conglomerate of death in a final explosion of illumination, a roar of defiance, dismay and distress leaving the God of Death's maw…

And then silence, my eyes opening as I gaze out at the destruction wrought in the aftermath of the White Titan's rampage.

Where columns of marble and stone had once towered overhead, sparse grasses and cobbled pathways sprawled and ostentatious architecture resided lies...nothing. Just stripped clean landscape of bleached sand and dust.

That's the terrifying part about the Velber race...they don't leave anything behind, life of practically any kind is recycled or made use of, energy and information stripped from it in a refined and damn near perfected process.

"Well, scratch one God."

Hauling myself to my feet I turn to face the head taller than my entire body, glowing eyes of orange, red and gold locking onto my own with an unreadable expression.

No doubt as she considers the best way to kill me. The past battle with Mercury proved that while Altera can direct Sefar's natural instincts and drive in productive ways-such as using the compulsion to destroy as a means to destroy things that threaten me-she can't suppress them in their entirety. With the enemy that would have erased me from existence gone...all that's left is the person she was trying to protect.

Thankfully I know how to deal with this.

"You did perfect, Altera...You can take it easy now."

Then I throw open the floodgates between us.

The effortless exchange of memories that exists between me, Altera, Scáthach and now Gilgamesh isn't just a way to promote understanding...it can also be used as a defense mechanism in the event of some kind of mental corrosion or assault, allowing myself or another Heroic Spirit to draw out our partner into the depths of our experiences, immersing them in our past to remind them of who and what they are.

So what if Altera was originally a Xeno being with only the basic compulsion to eradicate all life at the behest of a controlling intelligence, the fragment of Moon Cell data bringing that form to life and affecting her mental state to a nearly unrecognizable degree?

She has me, and I have her.

Some pathetic otherworlder never stood fucking chance.

Gently submerging the Heroic Spirit in the embrace of my past, of the long chain of history I've lived through and the far happier decades we've spent together the White Titan's eyes drift shut, placid features gaining the smallest hints of a smile as she dissipates into drifting motes of light, the data from the Moon Cell expunged and deleted as Altera ignores and rejects it, now that she can identify something outside of being Sefar.

A smooth roll and minor bit of Reinforcement dissipates the force of impact as the towering body vanishes, my arms automatically outstretched to catch Altera's form as she's released from the core of Velber 02.

It's a simple matter to adjust my balance so that the slim woman is barely so much as jostled, body completely bare other than the esoteric markings of war traced over her skin and multi-colored diadem that adorns her skull, features slack with peaceful rest.

All that's left is a single, thin wafer of blue crystal in the center of her chest that gradually fades away into dust, the information on Sefar fading away into nothingness, now that it's been rejected.

"...You never cease to amaze, Altera."

Lightly brushing aside a stray lock of pale hair I offer a smile to the sleeping Hero, tucking her further into my chest as I heave out a sigh. It'll be awhile before she's back to full consciousness, not to mention the disorientation that'll arrive from her time spent as both Sefar and then swimming within the depths of my memories...but those are the costs of victory.

Speaking of victory I wonder what's going to happen now that Hades is little more than dust in the wind. In my original world the demise of a God didn't upset the balance of nature unless they had been altering it on a large scale, simply removing any and all 'unnatural' effects they had created. The wind would keep blowing, the ocean would shift tides...Gaia had some deep systems in place and even the sentient extensions of its power couldn't change that.

But, you know. New world, new rules. Maybe all of those souls will be...free…

…

Since when did a crowd show up?

Surrounding the two of us for kilometers on end, standing on level ground or floating in random arcs are thousands upon thousands of skeletons, all of them staring at us with sightless sockets and dead silence.

Hah hah.

…

Now what? I might be able to summon up Irappu in time if they decide to attack...but Altera isn't conscious and can't astralize, that's a no go. Shit, of all the-

A whisper of power washes over the gathered host as their bodies begin to _shimmer,_ regaining muscle, organs and skin within a heat haze of strange effect.

It's quite the crowd, mostly Greek denominations and individuals but there's also a pretty generous helping of others with Buddhist, Christian and other Eastern factions intermixed, even a few Yokai.

And they all bow, kneel, pound their chests or salute to the sleeping woman in my arms before dissipating in a storm of light, either traveling to different realms of the afterlife or just moving...on, I guess. Can't say for certain, I'm not familiar enough with the universe's method of soul recycling.

"A damn shame you weren't awake for this, Altera...bit of a spit in the face of your original intent to be nothing more than a machine of destruction. You would have loved it."

Sure, she can see the event within my memories...but it's not quite the same.

In no time at all the display is over, nothing but silent breeze and drifting dust to mark the landscape, much of its deathly pall gone and replaced with simple bareness.

"Well...might as well start moving. No idea where we were dropped off but I'd wager good money it's far away from our initial objective. Our luck is shit that way."

I readjust Altera's slim form and begin walking.

* * *

How big _is_ this damn place? An hour of walking and practically no change of scenery or discernible location...which isn't what I'm concerned about, granted. I'm more worried that no one _else_ has been able to find us. Gilgamesh and Scáthach are still out there-I can sense them drawing on my energy-not to mention the other three.

Is this terra just that massive or are we cloaked somehow? Because considering the speed they can move I would have figured we would be found by now-

…

What...what the fuck?

A whisper of distant song, brush of silken hair against my skin and my blood runs cold as an infinitely familiar mind caresses my own, a consciousness that _should not be here._

"...Tiamat?"

" **It worked."**

I pivot on my heel, eyes frantically scanning the landscape-

-and not more than three meters behind me is the gracefully standing form of none other than the Sumerian Goddess herself, nearly imperceptible smile tilting her lips.

"What...how-"

" **Thank you, Horatius...you helped me. I could not had done this were it not for your love."**

"Love? The Hell are you talking about, I haven't done anything-no, fuck that, how are you _here?_ You're not an illusion, I can feel you just like I can feel Irappu. You-"

" **I will see you again...please, stay safe until that time."**

My eyes travel downwards as something odd enters my field of view, a sight that my brain instinctively recognizes as being _wrong-_

...Oh

Oh _God…_

"Tia...Tia _please._ Tell me you didn't do it."

The Mother Earth Goddess sedately approaches me with sure footsteps, gait smooth and silken...completely unbound by the chains that had previously restrained her, arms raising to cup my face with a tender expression and unhindered movement, the sensation as tingling as it always is as the material that doubles as an oversized, physical manifestation of a Divine Graph interacts with my skin.

" **The time approaches...freedom calls for me, Horatius. Just as it did for you."**

Before I have time to ask how she's doing this, how she's _here_ and not in her prison soft, ocean lips seal over mine, a nostalgic and melancholy memory of such intensity that for one, heartfelt moment the past doesn't matter-

-and reality reasserts itself as I break the kiss, shaking my head in an attempt to clear it as I force myself to ask, "How? Tia, you shouldn't be able to-"

" **Please...keep him safe."**

Completely ignoring my desperate plea for answers the Goddess bends low, planting a kiss on Altera's forehead and lightly caressing her features with a soft smile.

Readjusting my grip on the King of Combat I reach out to grasp her shoulder-

-and a momentary blink causes the Goddess to vanish before my eyes, presence completely absent from my mind and perceptions as if she'd never existed.

Gone.

"FUCK!"

My outburst only reaches barren wasteland, emotions a turbulent mess as ragged breaths of rage and frustration slip past my lips.

... _HOW?_

How did she manage to reach outside of the realm she's imprisoned in, to actually _speak_ to me as if she was physically there? That should be impossible!

And what did she mean by seeing me soon and finding her freedom? Did she find a way to break out of her container?

...Why now? What happened that allowed her to speak with me at this very moment?

My lips purse as I stare at the still unconscious Altera.

Was it the manifestation of Velber that did something? Our journey to this universe? My summoning of Irappu?

...I just don't know.

"Horatius!"

I snap out of my thoughts as Scáthach and Gilgamesh suddenly leap down from one of the Queen of Hero's Vimanas, relief plain to see on the Lord of Shadow's expression as she strides forward.

"I see my worry was unfounded, thankfully. What happened to Altera, is she alright?"

"Yeah, she's fine...we had to make use of the White Titan to destroy Hades so it'll be some hours yet before she wakes."

Scáthach frowns, having never seen us make use of that particular trick before as she leans forward to lightly caress the King of Combat's features.

"You're certain? I can't imagine such an experience would be so easily recovered from..."

"We've had a previous example to go off of, unfortunately. How about the two of you, anything dangerous or unusual occur?"

Gilgamesh scoffs as she strolls up alongside Scáthach, tentatively poking the King of Combat in the cheek with a finger as she states, "You believe us unable to handle a few thousand servants of a mere death god?"

"Considering how abruptly we were yanked out of existence I didn't want to make assumptions. Any eyes on the other three?"

"Yes. Quite literally, in fact."

The Queen of Heroes points to the sky where three familiar shapes are winging towards us, alighting on the ground with confused expressions.

"While I'm relieved to find you all safe and unharmed I can't help but ask _how_ you managed such a feat."

Tobio's bewildered tone leaves me unable to do little more than shrug, replying, "Hades got on the wrong side of a foe he shouldn't have tangled with. One that has more than a little experience wiping out Gods as a matter of course."

Vali's expression somehow manages to convey both excitement and disappointment in equal measure, tone eager as he states, "While I had wished to battle Hades one day...the being that defeated him should promise to be a fair bit more challenging. Is it her? The one you carry in your arms?"

I glance down at Altera's sleeping features before shrugging.

"In a manner of speaking. You'll have to ask her about it once she wakes up."

Turning to Dulio I ask, "Quick question, what happens to everyone now that Hades is dead? A lot of the Reapers regained their original forms before fading away into nothing, is that good or bad?"

Scratching the back of his head the young man offers an apologetic smile, explaining, "Unfortunately matters of the soul after death-or in this case being freed from death-are not my areas of expertise. But logic would state that, with Hades' demise, the souls he held dominion over would be able to freely rejoin the afterlives they were denied or move onward, to wherever souls go when life or belief holds no sway over them."

I nod in understanding, his explanation seeming close enough to my home universe's own rules that it's easy enough to accept.

Even across infinite parallel worlds the universe seems to prefer having a few constants stick around, soul recycling being one of them alongside things like entropy or gravity.

"To be completely honest I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Hades is _dead._ You're sure you finished him off entirely? No remaining vestiges that will one day rise again?"

Tobio's valid concern prompts me to shrug, explaining, "He was hit with an ability that has a fairly consistent kill rate among divine beings, and let's not forget that all those wraiths and such that appeared afterwards to thank Altera."

Gilgamesh yet again manifests a Vimana that we quickly board, the black-haired young man sighing as he explains, "My apologies if it sounds as if I'm doubting you, it's just that I never expected such a potent and troublesome enemy to be erased so abruptly."

His expression gains a hint of wry amusement, remarking, "I imagine the rest of the realms over are going to have quite a few questions or inquiries for you, Horatius-san. While Hades was by no means a popular individual he _did_ command great power and by extension great influence. And let's not forget those that wish to thank you as opposed to receive reparations."

I don't bother hiding my sour expression, quickly replying, "With any luck we'll be _long_ gone by the time that happens. I'm not sure what's worse, well-wishers or those that want to slip a knife in our backs..."

Dropping into a sitting position with my back against the rear of the control throne-Gilgamesh taking her seat with regal grace and instructing the craft to once more take to the skies-I cradle Altera tight, the three young men along with Scáthach taking up positions opposite of me while Dulio asks, "You find gratitude distasteful?"

"Not so much distasteful as it is awkward. I've lived for a _long_ time and made plenty of selfish decisions along the way. Hell, my current actions right now aren't even really ones born of altruism. I'm doing this to help a friend and because my abilities enable me to do so effectively. Hearing praise for doing 'good deeds' always feels very much like a 'smile and wave' scenario, since those kinds of results were seldom at the forefront of my mind."

Gilgamesh scoffs from her position at the front of the Vimana, remarking, "Receiving the common folk's praise for deeds performed is the duty of a sovereign, Gladiator. Whether they were intended as such or not is irrelevant, the Queen is greater than her subjects as is thusly adored by them, therefore gratitude must be acknowledged and accounted for, else the citizens will feel slighted. As if they're thoughts and feelings do not reach their Queen in any capacity."

"An excellent point, Queen of Heroes. But the only thing I've ever been ruler of has been the occasional buffet line, my reign interrupted only by Altera. Your rules don't properly apply to me."

An irritated grumble leaves the still diminutive Heroic Spirit that has Scáthach and the rest smirking or grinning in amusement, Tobio remarking, "I can understand your thoughts on the matter, Horatius-san. We can't _all_ be as virtuous and pure hearted as Gesualdo-san over here."

"Oh, now you're just attempting to flatter me! I'm not that impressive or admirable of an individual."

"And Vali-kun isn't a socially inept battle junkie."

"Oi. Are you deliberately trying to pick a fight, Tobio?"

"I thought that was what you enjoyed so much, Vali-kun. Are you perhaps undergoing a change of heart? I'm proud of you."

The dog in Tobio's lap happily barks while the silver-haired young man scowls, a slight smirk pulling at my lips as the banter ensues.

It does a great deal to ease my anxiety at Tiamat's sudden and abrupt reappearance, never mind whatever strange plot the Sumerian Goddess is hatching.

I can't do anything about it now other than complete the current mission and get back home as quickly as possible, working things out from there. A shitty plan, but it's what I've got.

With that in mind I lean against the back of Gilgamesh's throne...and thus don't miss the suspicious glare she sends my way, crimson eyes searching me as if I'm covered in some kind of potentially lethal agent.

...Great.

* * *

Gilgamesh

The Gladiator seems to be a never ending supply of surprising twists and turns, second only to Enkidu in both the amount and aggravation resulting from aforementioned miracles.

...And what of this latest event? Summoning a monster from the past that laid low the olden Gods, paving a path for my future existence while controlling and wielding such power as if it was second nature?

There are many mysteries that persist throughout the universe, a number of those very mysteries residing within my treasury or having been laid low at my feet. As Queen of the ancient world, as bridge between Divine and mortal, encountering unknown or alien circumstances was-and is-as familiar a happenstance as breathing.

Yet the past few days after having been summoned to the Gladiator's side have been fraught with a cavalcade of emotional highs and lows I truly believed behind me.

Adventure, curiosity, investigation, humor, catharsis, shame, frustration... _excitement._

"Were you only here to witness this new quest, old friend. You would have enjoyed it immensely."

But Enkidu's demise is an old pain, one that was long ago accepted and moved on from...or at least accepted as well as one can comprehend the death of the only friend they would ever have.

A fit of whimsy raises my arm to the bruised sky overhead, still small and far less grand than my more mature and perfect form. Thankfully my mental state has regained its usual potency, acting in a manner that befits this physical body would simply be an unacceptable twist of fate for the Queen of the World.

It would have been a trivial matter to regain my original body were it not for the events of the past few days, of constantly interrupted flows of mana, pitched battle and fatal injury.

And while near infinite in depth, quality and variety my treasury will no longer restock itself unless I was to return to the Throne of Heroes, thus more valuable medicines and concoctions such as Elixir's of Youth or similar placebos will have to be rationed until they can be synthesized through other means.

To be stuck in such a laughable form for such an extended period of time...since when did the Queen of Uruk also moonlight as a jester of the court?

To take my mind off these irritating matters I instead delve once more into the depths of the Gladiator's memories. While it was a simple matter for my intellect to understand the basic flow of his long years of life details had been scant by necessity.

With naught but time now on my hands I am free to indulge in the specifics of his travels, of the events and individuals he encountered on his travels.

More specifically, on a set of memories that seem to be almost _forgotten..._ or perhaps hidden away, rarely reflected upon or revisited. For a man that seemed perfectly content in sharing century after century of his experiences with no filter whatsoever this seems a strange omission.

Smirking in blatant curiosity I delve deep in the memories of the Gladiator-

* * *

" _My name is Horatius, may I have the pleasure of knowing yours?"_

* * *

" _ **Light? I have not seen light in a long time...not since my banishment..."**_

* * *

" _We've flourished since you gave birth to us, expanded across most of the planet."_

" _ **Would that I could witness it with my own two eyes."**_

" _...You know why I can't do that. You still feel it, right? The urge to begin anew."_

" _ **Yes. Yes, you are right. Please, may you show me the progress of my children?"**_

" _You needn't even ask."_

* * *

" _ **I could cure this plague, free my children from their suffering. But I can only languish here."**_

" _We both know what your method of cure would be, Tia."_

" _ **Do you not wish to see this affliction cured? Your own wife-"**_

" _I_ know. _I was there. And I know my own refusal to pursue Magecraft was the reason, you've reminded me of this a thousand times."_

* * *

" _I'm_ trying. _I've gone through every possible tome, scroll, journal and manuscript I can find but there's_ nothing. _Even if I did discover a theory or technique to divorce your nature from itself there's no guarantee I would be able to do so. I'm a terrible Magus, remember?"_

" _ **Then...then you need not do so at all? You converse and visit me to assuage your growing loneliness, why should we not create the world anew, as it's mother and father?"**_

" _Because everyone will be_ dead. _It doesn't matter if their souls and being are now one, you would be erasing their entire history. Starting over from day one."_

" _ **And we have naught but time, time to guide and watch Humanity grow under our protection. You would be a better mate than Abzu, my one and only love. For you are Human yet not, a perfect blend of being to gift me a perfect seed of genesis."**_

" _I...I'm going to have to think about this."_

* * *

Horatius

...Staring down an enraged-dare I even say _confused-_ Queen of Heroes, Gate of Babylon surrounding me on all sides while Scáthach holds her spears at the ready, balefully glaring at Gilgamesh while the three young men are clearly left a loss of what to do in this situation or why the Vimana came to a screeching halt isn't how I thought the rest of the day would go.

"You...do you even fully comprehend what you risked?! In speaking to that pitiable God?! Even now her scent clings to you, like some lingering curse!"

I steadily meet the glowing crimson orbs of the Queen of Uruk, knowing full well what she's referring to, given the events of the past few hours. Scáthach eases her stance as well, no doubt understanding how this will end up playing out.

"I take it you saw my memories of the time I spent with Tiamat."

"Flashes and bits of them. Why are they so fragmented? Is there something you wish to hide from us, Gladiator?"

My head leans back against the throne, eyes closed.

"No...just that I tried to forget that time, tried to make it so that Irappu forgot as well. It didn't work all that great."

Gilgamesh wavers slightly, gritting perfect teeth as she hisses, "Then _explain._ Why did you cavort so freely with that demented Goddess, despite knowing full well what she is? And why did you go so far as to humor requests of freedom?"

"I wasn't humoring her. I nearly did break the shackles on her prison and unleash the two of us upon the world."

The Queen of Heroes stares with an open mouth, Scáthach quietly sighing as she withdraws from her position at my side. She already knows this tale.

A humorless smile tugs at my lips.

"Why don't I tell you a story, Queen of Heroes? Of the time I almost reset Humanity."

* * *

 **Well hot damn, I managed to get out a chapter months faster than I did the last one! Which means there was still months of absence but, you know...baby steps.**

 **Next chap is going to be all about Horatius' and Tiamat's past, and the fallout of that whole debacle...bring your hankerchiefs and soap boxes, it's going to be a real tele-novella.**


End file.
